she had not been many hours at home before she found that the brighton scheme, of which lydia had given them a hint at the inn, was under frequent discussion between her parents. elizabeth saw directly that her father had not the smallest intention of yielding; but his answers were at the same time so vague and equivocal, that her mother, though often disheartened, had never yet despaired of succeeding at last.

chapter 40

elizabeth's impatience to acquaint jane with what had happened could no longer be overcome; and at length, resolving to suppress every particular in which her sister was concerned, and preparing her to be surprised, she related to her the next morning the chief of the scene between mr. darcy and herself.

miss bennet's astonishment was soon lessened by the strong sisterly partiality which made any admiration of elizabeth appear perfectly natural; and all surprise was shortly lost in other feelings. she was sorry that mr. darcy should have delivered his sentiments in a manner so little suited to recommend them; but still more was she grieved for the unhappiness which her sister's refusal must have given him.

"his being so sure of succeeding was wrong," said she, "and certainly ought not to have appeared; but consider how much it must increase his disappointment!"

"indeed," replied elizabeth, "i am heartily sorry for him; but he has other feelings, which will probably soon drive away his regard for me. you do not blame me, however, for refusing him?"

"blame you! oh, no."

"but you blame me for having spoken so warmly of wickham?"

"no-i do not know that you were wrong in saying what you did."

"but you will know it, when i tell you what happened the very next day."

she then spoke of the letter, repeating the whole of its contents as far as they concerned george wickham. what a stroke was this for poor jane! who would willingly have gone through the world without believing that so much wickedness existed in the whole race of mankind, as was here collected in one individual. nor was darcy's vindication, though grateful to her feelings, capable of consoling her for such discovery. most earnestly did she labour to prove the probability of error, and seek to clear the one without involving the other.

"this will not do," said elizabeth; "you never will be able to make both of them good for anything. take your choice, but you must be satisfied with only one. there is but such a quantity of merit between them; just enough to make one good sort of man; and of late it has been shifting about pretty much. for my part, i am inclined to believe it all darcy's; but you shall do as you choose."

it was some time, however, before a smile could be extorted from jane.

"i do not know when i have been more shocked," said she. "wickham so very bad! it is almost past belief. and poor mr. darcy! dear lizzy, only consider what he must have suffered. such a disappointment! and with the knowledge of your ill opinion, too! and having to relate such a thing of his sister! it is really too distressing. i am sure you must feel it so."

"oh! no, my regret and compassion are all done away by seeing you so full of both. i know you will do him such ample justice, that i am growing every moment more unconcerned and indifferent. your profusion makes me saving; and if you lament over him much longer, my heart will be as light as a feather."

"poor wickham! there is such an expression of goodness in his countenance! such an openness and gentleness in his manner!"

"there certainly was some great mismanagement in the education of those two young men. one has got all the goodness, and the other all the appearance of it."

"i never thought mr. darcy so deficient in the appearance of it as you used to do."

"and yet i meant to be uncommonly clever in taking so decided a dislike to him, without any reason. it is such a spur to one's genius, such an opening for wit, to have a dislike of that kind. one may be continually abusive without saying anything just; but one cannot always be laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty."

"lizzy, when you first read that letter, i am sure you could not treat the matter as you do now."

"indeed, i could not. i was uncomfortable enough, i may say unhappy. and with no one to speak to about what i felt, no jane to comfort me and say that i had not been so very weak and vain and nonsensical as i knew i had! oh! how i wanted you!"

"how unfortunate that you should have used such very strong expressions in speaking of wickham to mr. darcy, for now they do appear wholly undeserved."

"certainly. but the misfortune of speaking with bitterness is a most natural consequence of the prejudices i had been encouraging. there is one point on which i want your advice. i want to be told whether i ought, or ought not, to make our acquaintances in general understand wickham's character."

miss bennet paused a little, and then replied, "surely there can be no occasion for exposing him so dreadfully. what is your opinion?"

"that it ought not to be attempted. mr. darcy has not authorised me to make his communication public. on the contrary, every particular relative to his sister was meant to be kept as much as possible to myself; and if i endeavour to undeceive people as to the rest of his conduct, who will believe me? the general prejudice against mr. darcy is so violent, that it would be the death of half the good people in meryton to attempt to place him in an amiable light. i am not equal to it. wickham will soon be gone; and therefore it will not signify to anyone here what he really is. some time hence it will be all found out, and then we may laugh at their stupidity in not knowing it before. at present i will say nothing about it."

"you are quite right. to have his errors made public might ruin him for ever. he is now, perhaps, sorry for what he has done, and anxious to re-establish a character. we must not make him desperate."

the tumult of elizabeth's mind was allayed by this conversation. she had got rid of two of the secrets which had weighed on her for a fortnight, and was certain of a willing listener in jane, whenever she might wish to talk again of either. but there was still something lurking behind, of which prudence forbade the disclosure. she dared not relate the other half of mr. darcy's letter, nor explain to her sister how sincerely she had been valued by her friend. here was knowledge in which no one could partake; and she was sensible that nothing less than a perfect understanding between the parties could justify her in throwing off this last encumbrance of mystery. "and then," said she, "if that very improbable event should ever take place, i shall merely be able to tell what bingley may tell in a much more agreeable manner himself. the liberty of communication cannot be mine till it has lost all its value!"

she was now, on being settled at home, at leisure to observe the real state of her sister's spirits. jane was not happy. she still cherished a very tender affection for bingley. having never even fancied herself in love before, her regard had all the warmth of first attachment, and, from her age and disposition, greater steadiness than most first attachments often boast; and so fervently did she value his remembrance, and prefer him to every other man, that all her good sense, and all her attention to the feelings of her friends, were requisite to check the indulgence of those regrets which must have been injurious to her own health and their tranquillity.

"well, lizzy," said mrs. bennet one day, "what is your opinion now of this sad business of jane's? for my part, i am determined never to speak of it again to anybody. i told my sister phillips so the other day. but i cannot find out that jane saw anything of him in london. well, he is a very undeserving young man-and i do not suppose there's the least chance in the world of her ever getting him now. there is no talk of his coming to netherfield again in the summer; and i have inquired of everybody, too, who is likely to know."

"i do not believe he will ever live at netherfield any more."

"oh well! it is just as he chooses. nobody wants him to come. though i shall always say he used my daughter extremely ill; and if i was her, i would not have put up with it. well, my comfort is, i am sure jane will die of a broken heart; and then he will be sorry for what he has done."

but as elizabeth could not receive comfort from any such expectation, she made no answer.

"well, lizzy," continued her mother, soon afterwards, "and so the collinses live very comfortable, do they? well, well, i only hope it will last. and what sort of table do they keep? charlotte is an excellent manager, i dare say. if she is half as sharp as her mother, she is saving enough. there is nothing extravagant in their housekeeping, i dare say."

"no, nothing at all."

"a great deal of good management, depend upon it. yes, yes. they will take care not to outrun their income. they will never be distressed for money. well, much good may it do them! and so, i suppose, they often talk of having longbourn when your father is dead. they look upon it as quite their own, i dare say, whenever that happens."

"it was a subject which they could not mention before me."

"no; it would have been strange if they had; but i make no doubt they often talk of it between themselves. well, if they can be easy with an estate that is not lawfully their own, so much the better. i should be ashamed of having one that was only entailed on me."

chapter 41

the first week of their return was soon gone. the second began. it was the last of the regiment's stay in meryton, and all the young ladies in the neighbourhood were drooping apace. the dejection was almost universal. the elder miss bennets alone were still able to eat, drink, and sleep, and pursue the usual course of their employments. very frequently were they reproached for this insensibility by kitty and lydia, whose own misery was extreme, and who could not comprehend such hard-heartedness in any of the family.

"good heaven! what is to become of us? what are we to do?" would they often exclaim in the bitterness of woe. "how can you be smiling so, lizzy?"

their affectionate mother shared all their grief; she remembered what she had herself endured on a similar occasion, five-and-twenty years ago.

"i am sure," said she, "i cried for two days together when colonel miller's regiment went away. i thought i should have broken my heart."

"i am sure i shall break mine," said lydia.

"if one could but go to brighton!" observed mrs. bennet.

"oh, yes!-if one could but go to brighton! but papa is so disagreeable."

"a little sea-bathing would set me up forever."

"and my aunt phillips is sure it would do me a great deal of good," added kitty.

such were the kind of lamentations resounding perpetually through longbourn house. elizabeth tried to be diverted by them; but all sense of pleasure was lost in shame. she felt anew the justice of mr. darcy's objections; and never had she been so much disposed to pardon his interference in the views of his friend.

but the gloom of lydia's prospect was shortly cleared away; for she received an invitation from mrs. forster, the wife of the colonel of the regiment, to accompany her to brighton. this invaluable friend was a very young woman, and very lately married. a resemblance in good humour and good spirits had recommended her and lydia to each other, and out of their three months' acquaintance they had been intimate two.

the rapture of lydia on this occasion, her adoration of mrs. forster, the delight of mrs. bennet, and the mortification of kitty, are scarcely to be described. wholly inattentive to her sister's feelings, lydia flew about the house in restless ecstasy, calling for everyone's congratulations, and laughing and talking with more violence than ever; whilst the luckless kitty continued in the parlour repined at her fate in terms as unreasonable as her accent was peevish.

"i cannot see why mrs. forster should not ask me as well as lydia," said she, "though i am not her particular friend. i have just as much right to be asked as she has, and more too, for i am two years older."

in vain did elizabeth attempt to make her reasonable, and jane to make her resigned. as for elizabeth herself, this invitation was so far from exciting in her the same feelings as in her mother and lydia, that she considered it as the death warrant of all possibility of common sense for the latter; and detestable as such a step must make her were it known, she could not help secretly advising her father not to let her go. she represented to him all the improprieties of lydia's general behaviour, the little advantage she could derive from the friendship of such a woman as mrs. forster, and the probability of her being yet more imprudent with such a companion at brighton, where the temptations must be greater than at home. he heard her attentively, and then said:

"lydia will never be easy until she has exposed herself in some public place or other, and we can never expect her to do it with so little expense or inconvenience to her family as under the present circumstances."

"if you were aware," said elizabeth, "of the very great disadvantage to us all which must arise from the public notice of lydia's unguarded and imprudent manner-nay, which has already arisen from it, i am sure you would judge differently in the affair."

"already arisen?" repeated mr. bennet. "what, has she frightened away some of your lovers? poor little lizzy! but do not be cast down. such squeamish youths as cannot bear to be connected with a little absurdity are not worth a regret. come, let me see the list of pitiful fellows who have been kept aloof by lydia's folly."

"indeed you are mistaken. i have no such injuries to resent. it is not of particular, but of general evils, which i am now complaining. our importance, our respectability in the world must be affected by the wild volatility, the assurance and disdain of all restraint which mark lydia's character. excuse me, for i must speak plainly. if you, my dear father, will not take the trouble of checking her exuberant spirits, and of teaching her that her present pursuits are not to be the business of her life, she will soon be beyond the reach of amendment. her character will be fixed, and she will, at sixteen, be the most determined flirt that ever made herself or her family ridiculous; a flirt, too, in the worst and meanest degree of flirtation; without any attraction beyond youth and a tolerable person; and, from the ignorance and emptiness of her mind, wholly unable to ward off any portion of that universal contempt which her rage for admiration will excite. in this danger kitty also is comprehended. she will follow wherever lydia leads. vain, ignorant, idle, and absolutely uncontrolled! oh! my dear father, can you suppose it possible that they will not be censured and despised wherever they are known, and that their sisters will not be often involved in the disgrace?"