with maryellen unable to work and contribute to their finances, their budget was stretched to the breaking point. jon was working as hard as he could to fill orders and make new photographs available. it was tax season, though, and sales of nonessential items were notoriously bad at this time of year.

when jon wasn't developing and printing his photographs, he'd been cooking whatever hours seth gunderson could give him at the lighthouse. until last weekend, when it burned to the ground in the biggest fire in cedar cove's history. everyone in town was sick about losing the lighthouse. the money from jon's job at the restaurant was gone now, too. they were back to first base financially.

as it was, jon was working constantly to support the family, plus taking care of her, katie and the upkeep on the house. her husband was worn out, and maryellen didn't know how much longer he could continue this killing pace. the baby, the fire and now this problem with her sister.

kelly was pregnant, too, but unfortunately she'd been experiencing terrible bouts of morning sickness. she spent the first half of every day bent over a toilet. paul had put his foot down; taking care of katie was simply too much for her, he'd said. maryellen understood. her sister wanted to help and felt dreadful about letting everyone down, but she just couldn't look after katie anymore.

now maryellen had to tell her husband that, in addition to everything else, he'd have to supervise their two-year-old daughter. at best, he'd have a ninety-minute reprieve when katie went down for her nap. most afternoons she only slept an hour.

as jon walked downstairs from his small office, he entered the living room-and obviously realized that something was wrong.

"what is it?"

maryellen patted the empty space next to her on the bed.

"that bad?" he said as though this was a joke.

"you'd better sit down," she said, trying to smile. she suspected the effort was unconvincing. "that was kelly on the phone."

"katie's all right?"

"katie's fine." it was everything else that wasn't.

jon sank down on the foot of her makeshift bed. "the baby?"

maryellen rested her hand on her stomach. "if all the kicking is any indication, i'd say this baby has more energy than the two of us combined."

jon relaxed and reached for her hand. she'd seen little of him while she was pregnant with katie, and they both wanted him to share as much of this pregnancy as possible. maryellen wished it could be a more positive experience.

"things will improve soon," he reassured her.

"i know," she whispered, struggling with what she had to tell him.

he took her gently in his arms. "do i need to remind you how much i love you? without you and katie, i'm nothing."

maryellen leaned back and took in a deep breath. "kelly's pregnant."

"i know," jon said, his voice puzzled. they'd talked about the two cousins being born within a few months of each other. paul and kelly were ecstatic about this second pregnancy. she'd had difficulty getting pregnant the first time and there would be almost six years between the two children.

"she's been suffering from severe morning sickness again." kelly had the same problem when she was pregnant with tyler. "so..."

jon tensed, as if he knew what was coming. "she can't watch katie anymore."

maryellen nodded wearily. "she hated to tell me. kelly feels terrible about this. but chasing after a two-year-old while she's feeling so sick-she just can't do it."

silently jon stared into the distance. this was one more burden. maryellen didn't dare make the obvious suggestion. in their last letter, his father and stepmother had offered to help. yet the one time she'd brought up the subject, jon had rejected the idea in no uncertain terms. she couldn't, wouldn't, do that again.

"i've been trying to think of what we can do," she whispered, attempting to focus on a solution. "i could keep an eye on katie in the mornings. it won't be easy, but i'll manage."

"katie is walking and exploring and into everything," jon muttered. "there's no way you can watch her and protect this pregnancy."

"but you-"

"i'll take her with me. i used to do that, remember?"

maryellen nodded, but they both knew katie had been an infant in those days. he'd had a special backpack to carry their daughter when he went on his photographic excursions, and young as she was, katie had loved those times with her daddy. maryellen could still picture it.

"my mother can help." even as she spoke, maryellen knew that wasn't possible. grace was a newlywed with a demanding job. her mother already came to the house two or three times a week. it was the best she could do, but it wasn't enough. she and cliff had arranged for a cleaning crew one day the previous month, plus some prepared meals, and maryellen had been so grateful. but they couldn't expect that kind of gift again. cliff and especially grace had done enough for them.

"we can't ask grace to do any more than she already is." jon said aloud what maryellen had been thinking.

"i know...." tears filled her eyes. the worry and stress were more than she could handle.

"maryellen..."

she covered her face with both hands and bent her head.

"sweetheart, it'll be all right."

"no, it won't."

"i'll get a mortgage on the land."

"no!" she insisted. this land, an inheritance from his grandfather, was everything to jon. if they lost it, he'd be devastated.

her husband was silent for a long time. finally he stood up and walked away.

"jon?" she said when she saw that he was returning upstairs. "where are you going?"

"to make a phone call."

"to whom?"

he turned and looked over his shoulder. "i'll contact my family, maryellen. it's what you want me to do, isn't it?"

she didn't answer him.

"do i have a choice?" he said quietly.

"i'm sorry!" she choked out. "but it's not my fault-i didn't make any of this happen, so don't be angry with me."

"it's what you want, though, isn't it?" he persisted.

it was, but only because it made sense to give his father and stepmother an opportunity to rebuild their relationship with jon, their only living child. and because maryellen needed the help. jon did, too.

he sighed and wiped a hand down his face. "they can't stay with us, understand?"

she nodded.

"and they're only welcome until the baby's born."

she swallowed hard. "you're going to tell them that?"

"damn straight i am. i don't want them anywhere near me. this isn't for me, maryellen. the only reason i'm doing it is for you, and for our daughter and our baby."

tears streamed down maryellen's cheeks. she hated being this emotional. "call them if you want," she managed to say between sobs. "only don't be upset with me. i can't bear it if you're angry. i just can't bear it."

jon came back downstairs and was immediately at her side. he gathered her in his arms and let his shoulder absorb her tears. "i'm not mad at you," he whispered into her hair. "i'm furious with myself."

"but why?"

"mostly because i can't be the man you need me to be. you think i should forgive them for what they did. hard as i try, maryellen, i can't."

her arms went around him and they clung to each other. somehow, they'd get through this time, with or without his parents' help.

roy mcafee stood in front of the charred rubble that had once been the lighthouse restaurant. it made him sick to his stomach. his son stood on one side and gloria on the other.

"sheriff davis told me the arson investigator says the fire was deliberately set," gloria said, hands on her hips as she surveyed the damage. slowly she shook her head, as if it was difficult to take in the scene before her. roy felt the same way.

arson. roy hated to hear that. this wasn't the sort of thing you expected to find in a quiet community like cedar cove. the article in the chronicle reported that the gundersons were in shock and that no decisions had been made yet. they didn't know at this point whether or not they were going to rebuild.

"is there a suspect?" roy asked his daughter.

gloria nodded. "a person of interest-a high school boy. he started a fire a few months back and was recently let go from the restaurant."

"the shed in the park?" roy remembered reading about that, but the boy's name had been kept out of the paper.

gloria nodded again.

"does he have a motive?"

"sheriff davis seems to think so. the money box is missing, too."

roy tried to remember what he'd heard about the toolshed fire. "what does the kid have to say?"

"he's a runaway," gloria informed him.

"dad," mack said, "didn't you have a teenager visit the office last monday?"

roy nodded. his son had connected the dots even before he had. "the coxes' daughter wanted to hire me," he murmured thoughtfully, "to find her boyfriend." the high school girl had been saving for a vehicle, but was willing to lay down every penny if roy could locate the missing boy. roy had been touched by her devotion-but not once had she mentioned that this boyfriend was in a heap of trouble. well, she should save her money. the law had far better resources than he did. if she insisted on spending her money, he'd suggest a good attorney.

"the kid's name was anson butler," he said.

that got gloria's attention fast. "butler came in to see you?"

"no, his girlfriend. he's the one who's missing."

she held his look. "he's also the one who's wanted for questioning about the fire."

raising his eyebrows, mack kicked at the ashes. "i suppose now's as good a time as any to let you know i've been a volunteer with the kent fire department for the last couple of years."

"is that so?" it was gloria who showed the most interest.

"yeah," mack said with a careless shrug. "i enjoy it."

"i hear the cedar cove fire department has two paid openings," gloria said. "you might want to apply."

mack looked at roy, as if seeking his approval.

roy nodded solemnly. "i wish you would."

his son grinned. "in that case, i will."

roy squatted down and picked up a handful of ashes. he had his family with him now. gloria, the daughter he'd never known, and mack, his formerly estranged son. linnette had already moved to cedar cove and if mack got a job with the fire department, he'd be living here, too.

he let the ashes run through his fingers and wondered if anson knew that allison was prepared to give up everything she owned in order to find him. he hoped that, one day, the kid appreciated what she'd been willing to sacrifice on his behalf.