"oh, jon."

"it's all right," he said soothingly. "everything's going to be all right."

maryellen so badly wanted to believe him. she smiled absently as he brought her breakfast to the table, although she could barely eat.

jon left shortly afterward, and maryellen tried hard to conceal her feelings when ellen and joseph came in. ellen immediately went upstairs to get katie dressed, while joseph washed the few soiled dishes and straightened the books that were scattered around the living room.

midmorning, he took katie outside for a walk in the sunshine, and ellen brought maryellen a cup of tea. "i thought i'd make a chicken pot pie for dinner this evening," she said. "it used to be one of jon's favorites."

"i'm sure he'll appreciate it," maryellen said, but she had to wonder if jon would even notice.

fourteen

justine was grateful to hear from her mother and even happier to see her. late wednesday afternoon they met for tea at 16 lighthouse road, the house where she'd grown up and where olivia still lived. in a sense, justine would always think of it as home. leif had a play date with a friend from his preschool, and it was good to be with olivia, just the two of them.

"jack's out doing an interview with pastor flemming about the church's work with hurricane relief," her mother explained as she carried the teapot and a plate of oatmeal cookies to the kitchen table.

this was olivia's way of telling her that the timing of this visit was intentional-a chance for the two of them to be alone. only a few years ago justine couldn't have imagined sharing her troubles with her mother. they'd rarely talked or discussed anything of importance. now it seemed only natural to do so.

"what do you want to talk about?" justine asked. if her mother had purposely arranged this time to make sure they weren't interrupted, then there had to be a reason.

olivia glanced up from pouring the tea into china cups. "i guess i wasn't very subtle, was i?"

"it's all right, mom. i'm your daughter-you don't need to be subtle with me."

"why don't you tell me how you're doing first?" olivia set the teapot in the center of the table, then took her seat.

justine reached for her cup and added a teaspoon of sugar, making lazy circles with her spoon. "i've decided to go back to work part-time for first national bank." she said this casually, as if it were a small thing. it wasn't. "i'll be out of the house for part of every day." she was silent for a moment, wondering whether to talk about the underlying reason. "getting away from seth helps me deal with all the stress," she admitted. she had to either spend time away from her husband for a few hours every day, while leif was in preschool, or slowly go insane. she was relieved that seth had talked to larry boone about taking the job at the boatyard but as yet nothing had come of it. she didn't know if the hesitation was due to seth or the other man. seth was so volatile that justine hadn't asked for fear of causing problems.

these last few weeks, living with seth had felt like being trapped. his thoughts and all his efforts seemed to be focussed on finding the arsonist. despite their brief attempt at resolving the tension between them, seth was as driven as ever. the fire had consumed far more than the building that had housed their restaurant; it had consumed her husband, too. this angry, unreasonable person wasn't the man she'd married and justine felt she no longer knew him.

"how does seth feel about your taking this job?" her mother asked.

the sugar had dissolved but justine continued her gentle stirring. "i...haven't told him yet, but i don't think he'll care one way or the other." she doubted he'd even realize she was gone.

"oh, justine." her mother read the pain in her response. she leaned across the table and laid one hand over hers.

"the funny part is, i forgot to pick up my birth control prescription at the drugstore the other day and then i thought, why bother? seth hasn't even come near me since the fire."

"he's upset."

seth was more than upset, and making love couldn't compete with his need to be angry. every bit of tenderness in him seemed to be gone. all that remained was his sense of unfairness and rage.

"to say he's upset doesn't even begin to cover it, mom. seth is impatient and edgy and determined to find out who started the fire. it's become an obsession. he wants me to be angry, too, and he can't understand why i'm not."

olivia sipped her tea and sat back. "you're angry about this," she murmured. "aren't you?"

"yes, of course i am. but i want to let it go. i'm trying to. i'm choosing to look at this the way i would any other traumatic event. we need to move on."

"and seth's not ready to do that?"

"no. and my lack of righteous anger complicates the issue," justine went on, a bit wryly. she'd given up reasoning with seth. any sort of acceptance on her part, or desire to advance to something new, only angered him further.

"he spoke to jack recently," her mother said thoughtfully.

this was news to justine, but then she knew little of what seth did these days.

"he approached jack about putting a picture of that pewter cross in the paper. apparently that was roy's idea. he and seth think someone might recognize it and give the sheriff a lead. at this point, the investigation's stalled."

"is jack going to do it?"

her mother selected a cookie from the plate. "i believe he said he'd talk to the sheriff first and see if that would help or hinder the investigation."

since seth rather than the sheriff had spoken to jack, justine assumed that troy davis was reluctant to release this information. most likely, seth had gone behind the sheriff's back in an attempt to keep the investigation alive.

"you need to tell seth you're going back to work," her mother advised.

"i will." but she wasn't in any hurry. they were barely speaking. for leif's sake, they each made an effort to be civil in his presence. as far as justine was concerned, though, they might as well be roommates. or strangers.

"is that why you had lunch with warren saget?" her mother asked, staring directly at her.

shocked, justine widened her eyes. warren had taken her to lunch last week, but he'd been careful to ensure they wouldn't be seen. they'd met at a small, out-of-the-way restaurant in gig harbor. it'd happened only once and justine had felt guilty about it ever since. how her mother knew was beyond her, but it explained the invitation for tea in this private setting.

"you heard about that, did you?" she asked, hoping to make light of the incident.

"i did, and i probably wasn't the only one. i didn't know warren was back in your life."

he wasn't, but saying so would only raise other questions she didn't want to answer. "warren's a friend of mine," she said tersely.

"is he, justine?" her mother asked point-blank.

it seemed that an explanation would be necessary, after all. "soon after the fire, seth and i had an argument. i had to get away so i went down to the waterfront. while i was there, warren joined me. all of a sudden i had a panic attack. i've never had one before and warren was extremely kind to me."

"oh, justine! how frightening."

she nodded. "i didn't know what was happening, but he calmed me down and talked me through it. then last week he asked me to lunch and it seemed to mean so much to him, i couldn't say no." she sighed. "i shouldn't have gone. i regret it now."

"have you thought what seth would say if he knew?"

justine had foolishly believed no one would ever find out. including her husband. so much for that theory. if her mother had heard about the lunch, then there wasn't any reason to believe seth wouldn't eventually hear about it, too.

"who told you?" she asked.

"an attorney friend. it wasn't like sharon came running to tell me, either. she hardly knows you and mentioned that she saw you in gig harbor with your father. i knew it couldn't have been stan and surmised you must've been with warren."

"it won't happen again, mom."

"it's none of my business. this is your life, but i'd hate to see you do something stupid that'll hurt you and your marriage."

her mother was right. she had to talk to her husband, let him know how damaging his actions had been. confrontation had never been easy for her but they needed to reconnect with each other before it was too late.

justine went home soon afterward. she wasn't supposed to pick up leif until dinnertime, and she'd hoped to find seth.

to her disappointment he wasn't home. maybe she'd drive over to her grandmother's place. just as she got ready to turn around and leave, the front door opened and seth stepped inside. penny, their small dog, trotted over to greet him.

she and seth stood several feet apart and stared as though they'd never seen each other before. for the longest time all they did was look. neither moved. neither spoke.

a tightness gripped justine's throat, and all at once tears filled her eyes and clogged her throat. she couldn't continue living the way they were, couldn't go on pretending everything was fine when it so clearly wasn't.

with all her heart she loved seth, and she couldn't bear the thought of losing him. if she didn't do something, she would lose him. they'd lose each other.

out of need and fear, she took one step toward her husband. he did the same. before she knew it, justine was in his arms and seth was kissing and hugging her as though they'd been reunited after a lengthy absence. he tangled his fingers in her hair as he brought his mouth to hers. tears spilled down her face and she was sobbing and kissing him back, all the while pulling his shirt free of his waistband. she needed her husband, wanted him.

justine wasn't sure how they made it to the bedroom. ravenous as they were for each other, they didn't even completely undress before they fell on the bed, gasping and panting.

by the time they'd made love, seth was half on the bed, his feet on the floor, while justine was pinned to the edge of the mattress. they broke into wide grins.

"oh, seth," she whispered, "i've missed you so much."

he straightened and they climbed onto the bed, lying on their sides, facing each other. he kissed her chin and traced her cheekbones with one hand.

"i've been the biggest fool who ever lived," seth told her. "we lost the restaurant. that's tragic, but i still have what's most important in my life. you and leif."

tears clouded her eyes and she attempted a smile.

seth continued to stroke her face. "i went down to see larry boone this afternoon."

justine bit her lip.

"i took the job, justine. i'm going to be selling boats."