his hair was stiff and brittle - gritty with sand.

he's been digging. he's covered in blood.

"shh, baby," i whispered and kept stroking caleb's hair. he was barely allowing me to breathe, he gripped me so tightly. "whose blood is this?"

i felt him shaking his head, fast, angry. he accidentally nudged my chin and i winced. "okay. it's okay. i don't need to know."

i was at a loss for how to reach him. the man in my arms wasn't caleb, he was a shell of a human being. primal and stripped bare. i had my suspicions about whose blood caleb wore, but i didn't dare say it out loud.

he killed his only friend. for me.

my chest shook with the force of the sobs i kept trapped in my chest. caleb needed me and i couldn't help him by falling apart. "we have to go, caleb," i whispered. "it's not safe for us here."

caleb moved fast. he lifted himself off my chest and caged me in with his body. he looked predatory and i knew instinctively, not to scream. his eyes raked over me, moving quickly from my eyes, to my mouth, to my neck, all the way down to my feet. i wasn't sure he even knew who i was.

my fingers hurt after being ripped away from his hair so abruptly. there were several strands intertwined with my fingers. without moving, i let my eyes cut to my hand. caleb followed my eyes and when i slowly lifted my hand, he watched it intently. i put my fingers to the wound on his head, wiping away the blood. he needed stitches. caleb closed his eyes and let me touch him.

"we have to go. please...let's go," i repeated. caleb's eyes flew open and narrowed on my face. for several seconds all he did was stare.

"mine," he whispered.

"yours," i said.

caleb brought his mouth down on mine with such ferocity i almost pushed him away. the timing was terrible. our lives were in danger. but caleb needed me. he needed to be close and i owed it to him to give him what he needed.

i put my fear aside and opened my mouth to him, letting his tongue invade my mouth. he groaned when i wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down on top of me. i pulled at the filth covered shirt he wore and broke our kiss just long enough to pull it over his head. sand and, i was sure, blood, fell onto my face, but i brushed in away with the back of my hand and went back to kissing caleb.

his hands seemed to be everywhere at once, touching my hair, pulling me close, squeezing my br**sts. his knee planted itself between my knees, prying them apart. i opened my legs and let caleb's lower belly press against me. i could feel his cock, trapped inside his jeans, against my inner thigh.

as we pawed at one another, some of caleb's primal behavior seeped its way into me and before i knew it, i was pushing him off of me and to the side. he grabbed hold of my shirt and made a sound i took as a warning.

"yours, caleb. i promise," i said. i grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, exposing my br**sts to caleb. his mouth latched on, forcing me to cry out and hold him to my breast. i straddled his hips, grinding against him through the fabric of our clothes.

for all of caleb's animalistic intensity, he wasn't hurting me. he might have, if i'd given him a reason, but i was as open to him, as water to a pebble. when his mouth pulled away from one nipple, i fed him the other.

"i love you," i said and stroked his hair. he whimpered.

caleb would never regret the sacrifices he had made for me. i would make sure of it. for the rest of my life, i would dedicate myself to giving caleb every ounce of love i had in me to share. i was his and he was mine and it was everything.

i pushed at caleb's shoulder, urging him back toward the floor. i followed him down, resting my weight on him. his hands found the waistband of the shorts i wore and shoved. i reached back and together, we pushed the fabric down and off my legs.

i hated the feel of caleb's dirty jeans against my bare skin. "take these off," i said. i helped him push his pants down to his ankles. his feet were bare and caked in dirt, but i was more preoccupied with getting as close to caleb as i possibly could.

caleb's c**k sprang up between us like a living thing. we reached for it at the same time, his hand over mine and guided it between my legs. i was sore, but wet, and caleb's c**k slid into me with minimal effort. caleb gripped my hips, pulling me down as he thrust.

"oh, god," i cried out. my fingernails dug into his chest, scoring his skin, but caleb only groaned and thrust into me again. and again. and again.

i fell forward, my hands bracing me above caleb's head. i was adrift in a sea of pleasure and all-consuming lust. arching my back, i teased caleb's mouth with my nipple and he pulled it into his hungry mouth. i felt my pu**y getting tighter around his cock. i whimpered as my orgasm approached and caleb f**ked me harder, sucked me deeper into his mouth. i didn't have the breath to make a sound. i froze on top of him, letting him keep f**king me as i came.

his mouth pulled away from my breast with a loud pop and then caleb's sounds filled the room as his come filled my pu**y. pulse after pulse of hot come flooded my insides and i couldn't get enough. i wanted caleb inside me forever. i collapsed on top of him, loving the way my body rose and fell with each of his breaths.

"livvie?" he whispered.

i forced myself up on my elbow and stroked his face with my other hand. "yes," i said. my tears made him blurry, but i could tell he was back now, from wherever he had been.

"are you okay? did i hurt you?!" he sounded frantic.

"i'm fine, caleb. i'm fine. i'm more worried about you," i said. i bent down and kissed his lips. when i pulled back, my heart ached to see him turn his face away from me.

"don't look at me, livvie," he whispered.

"caleb, no." i tried to make him look at me, but all at once he sat up and put my head on his shoulder where i couldn't see him. i could feel him sliding out of me, his come aiding in the effort.

"i can't deal with it, okay? i -" his words sounded stuck in his throat.

"okay," i whispered and held him in my arms for just a few more seconds.

"we have to go," he said.

slowly, we reclaimed our bodies from one another. tears stung the backs of my eyes, but i wouldn't let them free. caleb needed me strong and i was determined to give him everything he needed.

silently, we went about prioritizing. caleb pulled up his pants with a grimace and started barricading the door. i made myself useful by finding a bag and tossing in anything i thought we might need: the gun, clothes, a first-aid kit i found in the bathroom. it wasn't much, but it was something.

caleb walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. i didn't think we had time for it, but i knew better than to ask questions. with shaking hands, he removed his pants and stepped beneath the water. blood and dirt quickly coated everything.

i thought about stepping in, but one look at caleb and i knew he needed time alone. the water was steaming hot, clouding the bathroom. i turned on the fan, but remained an otherwise unobtrusive presence. at one point, i heard him sob, but i remained on the floor, keeping silent vigil.

he'd been in the shower less than ten minutes before he turned the temperature down and stepped out. he silently grabbed a towel and walked out into the bedroom. my shower didn't last nearly as long, but by the time i stepped into the room, caleb was more like himself.

"time to go, livvie," he said and gave me a smile. it was feigned, but i appreciated the effort. i tried to make my smile more convincing.

the house felt empty, eerily empty. no felipe. no celia. no rafiq. caleb offered no answers and i asked no questions.

it was hot outside, even early in the morning. i realized it had been a long time since i'd walked outside, beneath a glaring sun. i was wearing clothes. i was...free. my steps faltered as the realization hit me. free!

"the truck isn't far, keep moving," caleb said numbly.

i could feel myself getting choked up, excited laughter bubbled out of me, "where are we going?" i said with joyful tears in my eyes.

"please don't ask. just come with me."

i looked at him, the pain on his face palpable. this was not the time to argue with him. whatever he was doing, it was a very big deal. it would change everything between us, but he'd asked me to come with him, and when the man you love asks you to go with him - you go.

we walked for less than a mile, but i marveled at the sheer size of felipe's estate. whatever he was into, it was certainly profitable. finally, we found the old truck we had arrived in. i was surprised it started right up.

caleb hadn't said much and though he seemed in much better control of himself, i knew whatever had happened still weighed heavily on him. i reached for his hand across the seat and to my surprise, he not only held my hand, but squeezed it. as we left felipe's house, i stared at the gravel road in the side view mirror. it was really happening. we were leaving - together. i wiped tears from my eyes for nearly twenty minutes.

we traveled for several hours before i forced caleb to break his silence. "i'm hungry, caleb." i looked at him and rubbed my stomach.

"we can get some food and water when we stop for gas. i want to keep moving for now," he said. his eyes never left the road, but his thumb moved back and forth over my hand.