i can feel his smile as he kisses his way back up to my lips. he stops to nip and suck my sensitive skin along the way. with the hand that was holding my top to the side, he skims my navel. he moves his hand back and forth as his fingertips lightly brush over the top edge of my panties.

he slides his leg in between mine pushing my thighs apart. his hand continues to move and his thumb lightly touches the sensitive skin of my inner thigh. my core is aching for his hand to move back up.

sucking in a breath, i sweep my fingers up and then down his back. i slip my hands in the waistband of his jeans and skim them along the elastic of his boxers. letting out a light moan, i slide them all the way around to the fly of his pants. hissing in a quick breath, he swallows as i unbutton his jeans.

he presses light kisses across my jawline to my ear where he whispers, "you are so beautiful, perfect really."

with heat and desire pooling in me, i can't take any more foreplay. i reach around to his lower back and untuck his shirt. i slide my hands up his chest to the top button and begin slowly unfastening each one.

he's practically panting as i undo the last button. his head falls back ever so slightly before it dips back down to mine. he sucks on my lower lip before kissing me then flicks his tongue against mine.

his hand moves back up my thigh. pushing my panties aside, he starts drawing circles across my slick flesh. my breath is coming in shorter gasps as he plunges one finger inside me, slowly moving it in and out. my head falls back, hitting the glass when his thumb strokes me, but the throbbing that is spreading throughout my whole body masks the pain.

he whispers in my ear as his lips explore my neck, "you're so beautiful," and that is my undoing.

my fingers claw into the front pockets of his jeans as my muscles clench into a tight ball, and my body explodes into a thousand pieces. i hear him talking, but his sound is masked by my own cries of pleasure.

he pushes my body back against the glass with the force of his own. he rests his forehead on mine and places both of his palms against the glass on either side of me. his elbows are almost touching the glass, and his breath just as erratic as mine.

my body is screaming for more. i want him inside me. i need for him to relieve the bigger ache i have, the one that has been frozen for almost two years. with panting breaths, i bite my lip as i move to unzip his fly. as i finish, he lifts me up again and carries me into the bedroom.

once inside the room, he kicks the door shut, sets me on my feet, and turns me around. he moves my hair aside and kisses my neck, seductively whispering, "god, i need you now," while unzipping the back of my dress. pulling my dress down, he kisses my right shoulder. "you're so beautiful." pulling down the other side he whispers, "you smell so good."

he turns me back around to untie the belt at my waist; he then kisses each of my eyelids. "i love your eyes, their color, the way they look at me." he moves to sit on the bed and pulls me to stand between his legs. motioning for me to lift one foot, and then the other, he unbuckles my ankle straps and removes my shoes. "there's just something about you that i haven't been able to forget." while still sitting on the bed, he tugs my dress all the way down and it puddles to the floor. he kisses my stomach softly. "i haven't been able to stop thinking about you for five years."

as the moonlight streams through the windows, i struggle to find my breath as all the air leaves my lungs from his words, his charm, his everything. he just leaves me breathless. standing up, he stares at me in just my bra and panties and then in one quick move he removes my bra and slides my panties off my h*ps where they too fall to the ground. he continues to stare for a few more seconds before raking his eyes down my body. "you're perfect, really."

i stand there completely naked, vulnerable, and unable to move. i'm shaking as he steps closer and touches me. his hands wander from my h*ps around to my backside and he pulls me to him. "do you want me?"

"so much."

pressing my body into his, it almost feels like we're about to perform an erotic dance. i rip his shirt from his body, and it falls to the ground. sliding my hands up his hard smooth chest, i push him down on the bed and fall on top of him, kissing his throat as he groans in my ear. running my hands further down the deeply etched v in his abs, i slide one hand into his boxers. i finally grasp him, moving my hand up and down his length as he moans louder panting my name.

gently rolling me on my side, he sits up and quickly removes his shoes and socks. i prop myself up on my elbows as i watch him standing there taking off his jeans. he reaches down to the floor to pick up them up and pulls a condom out of his wallet, tossing it on the bed, before removing his boxers.

he's standing in front of me, gloriously naked, and i can't help but smile a huge smile. he really is the sexiest man alive. his body is just amazing. he has chiseled arms, hard abs, and taut muscles. he grins back at me as he bends down and kisses my lips, my jaw, my ear. he lightly sucks on my lobe and then returns to my lips.

i pull him on top of me as his hands go from my hips, to my br**sts, to my hair, and then clutching my face with both his hands he loudly groans. "i want to touch you everywhere, all of you dahlia. i want you."

trying to manage words, i hoarsely say, "i want you too."

shaking his head, he lets out a low husky laugh as he responds, "you're just too sexy."

drawing away for a mere second, he lets go of my face and rolls us over. i cannot wait any longer; i reach across the bed, pick up the packet, and tear it open. his eyes glaze over as he watches me, his breath heavy. i move to the side as i attempt to put the condom on him. i can feel his body trembling under my touch, and my body quakes in response.

i've never put a condom on a man before, and my hands are shaking so badly i can't possibly do it. leaning into him, i laugh against his mouth. "i've never done this, you're going to have to help me."

and with that, he laughs along with me as he says, "dahlia, you are . . . amazing." the moment isn't broken as he chuckles, "yeah, i can do it."

but he doesn't, instead he reaches for another packet and tosses it on the bed as he throws the unused condom to the floor. then gazing at me with his powerful green eyes, he says, "but there's something i have to do first, something i've been wanting to do for a long time."

then gently, he rolls me over onto my back, resting my head on the soft pillows. he moves his leg over my body. hovering over me, he looks down with a wicked grin and says, "dahlia, i need to taste you."

chapter eleven

closer

help me tear down my walls

i want to be near you

i need to feel you

i don't want to be with anybody else

i only want to get closer to you.

photography is all about finding the moment, but it's nice to know when to put the camera down. sometimes i'll ask myself, "do i want to photograph this, or should i just experience it?" right now in this moment i know i want to just experience it.

with his last words, our momentary lapse into laughter quickly fades and emerges as a different emotion entirely-pure desire. he's standing in front of me while i'm sitting on the edge of the bed, nodding, speechless. emotions are sailing through me as we embark on this course, seeking the beautiful horizon. i want him. no, i need him-badly. but, as quick as a sail goes up on a windy day, a surge of nervousness wraps itself around my desire like the chain of an anchor, dragging me down. he wants to taste me? thank god aerie took me to the salon! i haven't slept with a man in almost two years. is it like riding a bike? do i remember or even know how to do this? god, what am i doing n*ked in front of this delicious man whose middle name could be seduction? should i stop now before embarrassing myself, before drowning myself in the vast ocean?

he must sense my apprehension because as he leans into me, he whispers, "don't worry, we'll take it slow." his words do extraordinary things to me. they give me the courage to continue the course we have charted, to dive into this sea of desire so welcoming, so warm, so inviting.

moving between my legs, he rests on his forearms as he begins to softly kiss my lips. snaking my arms around his neck, i pull him closer to me, arching my back and pressing myself up into him. i want him inside me, now, but he seems content taking it slow. i'm aching for him, not only because i've been abstinent for so long, but also because i have wanted him for far longer.

as my hands slide along his taut muscles, feeling the smooth skin of his back, they make their way around his h*ps and feel their way to the point of no return. before they meet their destination, he stops kissing me. raising his head, breathing heavily, he lifts himself back up onto his arms and looks at me pointedly. "not yet," he whispers, shaking his head and kissing my nose before gliding his lips down my throat.

as i try once again to slip my hands around his h*ps to feel his hardness, he slides his body further down mine. i can feel his grin as his mouth connects with my hard wanton nipple, circling it, sucking it before moving to the other. the feeling is overwhelming, and i'm shocked that i feel like i can come again so quickly. knotting my fingers in his hair, i begin tugging on it as if it's a life raft pulling me ashore.

my hold is lost as he descends further down my body, my breath increasing at an alarming rate. i can feel his tongue on my stomach, jetting in and out of my navel, as small moans escape me. river mutters, "you taste so good."

as his mouth lingers on my slick flesh, my core starts to pulse in anticipation, and a much louder, "yes," escapes my lips.

hearing his hitched, ragged breathing as he slowly sucks, lightly strokes, tastes, and licks my most sensitive skin i start to moan his name. as his tongue plunges inside my core, going as deep as it possibly can, moving in and out in a constant rhythm, his eyes flick up at me. he notices i'm watching him. "fuc . . . dahlia, you're just so hot," he moans with a devilish grin.

when he starts circling his tongue around me, i lose all ability to function. he then presses his tongue harder while slipping one finger inside me. he pauses again to say, "god, you taste so sweet," and when he slides a second finger in, i can no longer even remember my own name.

i start to grind myself against his mouth, his fingers. "oh god, river," i cry out as i come harder than i've ever come in my life, momentarily leaving this planet behind.

as i float back down to earth, he's slowly, seductively making his way up my body, still licking and tasting every inch of my skin. his mouth meets mine and i can taste myself. it is the most erotic feeling. he lightly licks my bottom lip from the outside around to the inside. i open my mouth further, and his tongue brushes against mine. he gently bites down then flutters his tongue against the tip of mine before finally kissing me.

as we continue to kiss, i trail my fingers down the deep line of his abdomen. his stomach clenches beneath my fingers as i pass over his sensitive flesh. i hear him let out a sharp breath as i wrap my hand around his girth, making my way down to the base.

shifting my body, i'm now hovering over him. breathing, panting, almost gasping, i can feel each and every pulse radiating from his hardness. i can barely hear the music in the background, but i think i hear sex therapy playing from his phone. how appropriate. as my hand finds its own rhythm, i begin sucking on his lower lip, moving to his upper lip, before running my tongue over the roof of his mouth, making him groan even louder.

stopping only to look into his powerful green eyes, which are darker, filled with deep desire, i pull back to an almost sitting position. i can hear his breathing; fast and unsteady, nearly uncontrollable, much like my own right now.

"river," i say while reaching for the condom packet, tearing it open and handing it to him. "do you know how much i want you?" i feel like a spider caught in his web of seduction, or maybe it's my web.