Navy Brat (Navy #3)

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"you do know it," ginger said with a smile.

"for eighteen years i was part and parcel of the demanding tempo of navy life. i was uprooted more times than i can remember. i've lived on more bases than some admirals. it was one move after another, and frankly, i don't know if i'm willing to make that kind of sacrifice a second time."

erin was being as honest as she knew how to be. yes, she loved brand, loved him with all her heart, but being in love didn't solve the problem.

"what are you going to do?"

"i don't know," she whispered, suddenly miserable.

things had changed between brand and erin after their night on the beach. never again had either of them allowed their lovemaking to progress to that level.

they spent every available moment together, but they did little more than kiss and hold hands. although she'd seen the tourist attractions a number of times before, brand escorted erin all over the island. it was as though they both needed to see and appreciate the beauty and the splendor of oahu through one another's eyes.

"i wish i knew what i could say that would help you," ginger said, crossing her legs. she folded her arms around her middle and stared into space. "the thing that impresses me most about you and brand is that it's like the two of you have been married for years and years. you seem to read one another's thoughts. it's uncanny. forgive me for saying this, but it's almost as if you were meant to be together."

"it isn't as dramatic as you think," erin argued. "i know the way a man in the navy thinks."

and behaves. brand wasn't fooling her any. they hadn't talked once about the very subject that had driven them apart. brand was biding his time, waiting until her defenses were lowered and she was weakest. his game plan was one erin recognized well from her own father's school of strategy. brand assumed that if he let matters follow a natural progression, things would work out his way. he seemed to believe that once she was head over heels in love with him, the fact he was navy wouldn't matter.

wrong. it mattered a whole lot. only she didn't want to spend their first time together in six months arguing. apparently brand didn't, either, and so the subject was one they'd both avoided. brand by design. erin... she didn't know. for selfish reasons, she guessed.

the front door opened, followed by the sound of running feet. "mommy, we're home." six-year-old bobby burst into the kitchen like a pistol shot.

brand and alex followed closely behind. alex carried a large bag of briquettes.

slipping up behind erin, brand wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek. "did you miss me?"

"dreadfully."

"that's what i hoped." he smiled wickedly and turned her around to reward her with a kiss. the intensity caught erin off guard.

when brand released her, his eyes held hers. "we need sometime alone."

she nodded. the following afternoon she was scheduled to return to seattle. the day of reckoning had arrived.

erin was barely able to down her dinner. the four adults sat around the picnic table, lingering over their coffee, while the three youngsters ran wild in the backyard.

"hawaii is beautiful this time of year," erin remarked lazily, catching brand's eye.

he slipped her hand into his and squeezed tightly. "it's beautiful any time of year." his look suggested they make their excuses, but erin wasn't falling into his game plan quite so easily.

she stood and carried brand's and her plate into the kitchen, rinsing them off and stacking them in the dishwasher.

"you've been quiet this afternoon," brand commented, sticking their iced-tea glasses in the top rack. "is something troubling you?"

she nodded sadly. "i don't want to leave you." it plagued her more than she dared admit. she couldn't stay. seattle was her home, not hawaii. her house and her piano awaited her return. as did aimee and her job.

brand reached for her shoulders, turning her toward him. his eyes were hot and fervent as they stared into hers. "then don't go back."

"it's not that simple," erin protested.

"why isn't it?"

frantic for an excuse, erin said the first thing that came to mind. "because of catherine fredrickson."

"what the hell has she got to do with anything?" brand demanded harshly.

chapter eleven

"catherine's in love with you."

brand stared at erin stupidly, as if he weren't certain he'd heard her correctly. his expression was first astonished and then incredulous. "what the hell are you talking about? as i recall, the conversation went something along the lines that you didn't want to leave hawaii, to which i had the simple solution. don't go. as i recall, catherine's name didn't once enter the conversation."

"she's in love with you."

"she's not, and even if she was, what has that got to do with anything?" brand demanded, holding tight reins on his patience. he glanced over his shoulder as if he feared alex or ginger might make an appearance. plainly the subject was one he didn't want them listening in on.

"it's... something a woman likes to know when she's interested in a man herself."

brand made a harsh sound that was a groan of abject frustration.

"i...i think you should marry her." erin thought nothing of the sort, but said so for shock value. it seemed to have the desired effect. brand looked as if he wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her until her teeth rattled.

instead he marched to the other side of the kitchen and rammed his hand through his hair with enough force that if he did it a few more times he'd require a hair transplant. he turned, opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something, but quickly snapped it shut.

"she's perfect for you." even as she spoke, erin realized how true that was. it hurt to admit it, more than she dared concede. almost from the beginning brand had mentioned his two friends, romano and catherine, blending their names together as if the two were actually one. it was understandable. the three worked together. they were the very best of friends. alex was married to ginger, but that left brand free for catherine.

"erin - "

"no," she interrupted. "i mean it. catherine is the perfect woman for you. first of all, she's navy, and - "

"i don't happen to be in love with her," he barked. his long legs ate up the distance between them in three giant strides. "hasn't the last week told you anything? the last week, nothing," he corrected sharply. "the last seven months!"

his anger did little to faze her. the more she dwelled on the subject of brand and catherine, the more sense it made to her. in fact, she didn't know why it hadn't occurred to her much sooner. it wasn't until she'd met the other woman that erin had recognized the truth.

"i'm serious, brand."

"i'm not," he snapped. "i've never so much as kissed catherine. it would be like dating my own sister. i'm sure she feels the same way."

"wrong." breaking out of his hold, she reached for the coffeepot. as if she hadn't a care in the world, erin ran water and measured the grounds, hoping the activity would hide the pain that was crowding her heart. the thought of brand loving another woman nearly crippled her emotionally, yet she pressed the subject, driven by some unknown force.

"all right," brand conceded, slowly, thoughtfully. "let's say you're right, and catherine does hold some romantic feelings for me - although i want you to know right now i think that's crazy. but for the sake of argument i'll accept that premise. we've been working together for nearly three years - "

"make that four," erin interrupted, continuing to busy herself by clearing away what remained of the dinner dishes.

"okay, four years." his gaze narrowed, but apparently he wasn't willing to argue over minute details. "if i haven't fallen for catherine in all that time, then what makes you assume i'd ever consider marrying her, especially now that i'm in love with you?"

"it's so obvious."

"what is?" he cried impatiently.

"that you and catherine should be together. it all fits. i doubt you'd ever find anyone who suits you better." gaining momentum, she continued, "it's true, you and i share a certain amount of physical attraction, but beyond that we seem to constantly be at odds."

brand made the growling sound a second time, and then shocked her by stepping forward and gripping her hard by the shoulders. he squeezed so tightly that he half lifted her from the floor. "you know what you're doing, don't you?" he demanded.

she stared up at him mutely, stunned by this sudden show of force. it was so unlike brand, which revealed how accomplished she was at getting a reaction from him.

"you're avoiding another confrontation," he told her, his voice firm and angry. "you don't want to leave hawaii, or more appropriately, you don't want to leave me. wonderful, because frankly, i don't want you to go, either. i love you. i have for so long i can't remember what it was like to not love you. i refuse to think of marrying anyone but you. to have you suggest i take catherine as my wife makes damn little sense." his hold on her relaxed, and her feet were once again safely planted on the linoleum.

erin lowered her gaze, realizing he was right but hating like hell to admit it. she was looking to avoid a showdown, and that was exactly what would have happened had their discussion followed the lead he'd taken. admitting how badly she wanted to remain in the islands with him had left the door wide open for trouble. brand wanted her to stay, too.

she remained stiff in his arms for a moment. then a sigh raked her shoulders and she relaxed against him, wrapping her arms around his middle.

"you're right," she whispered. "i'm sorry...so sorry."

brand froze briefly and muttered something under his breath that erin couldn't detect. as though he couldn't bear the tension another moment, he buried his hands in her hair and drew her firmly into contact with his muscular, trim body. she tilted her head to smile up at him, and brand took advantage of the movement by placing his mouth over hers.

his kiss revealed a storehouse of need. his tongue probed her mouth, and she opened to him as naturally as a castle gate opens to an arriving king. a wide host of familiar sensations warmed her, a heat so intense it frightened her. it had always been this way between them. he touched her, and it was like fire licking at dry kindling. her response to brand continued to amaze erin. he'd kiss her, and the excitement seemed to explode throughout her body. in the beginning, his kisses had produced a warm sort of pleasure, but since their six-month separation, every time he held her in his arms her response was one of hungry need.

she nestled into his embrace the way a robin settles into her nest, spreading its wings, securing itself against the storm. it felt so incredibly good to have him hold her. nothing she had ever known compared to the feelings of security he supplied.