"i hate it, actually."

"hey, sarah," ned said, coming over and slinging an arm around faith. "faith, i'm here to take over, because honor says you don't know what you're doing."

"hi, ned." sarah blushed. ned was very cute.

"how's school?" he asked, and the two started talking about classes and clubs. they looked nice together, sarah with her blond hair, ned tall and dark. and while ned was already out of college, that didn't really matter. he didn't have a girlfriend that faith knew of, and she interrogated him frequently on the subject.

levi was watching the two of them. no smile. he glanced at her, scowled, then resumed his staring. faith suppressed a sigh. it wasn't like she was playing matchmaker; she was just standing there. like a lump, now that she thought of it.

dad came over and handed her a bottle of water. "make sure you drink enough, sweetpea," he said, his kind blue eyes crinkling. "it's hot compared to what you're used to."

alas, lorena appeared at his side. "finally!" lorena boomed. "something decent to drink around here! blue heron has the best wine ever! i haven't had anything but swill all day long!" she gave dad an exaggerated wink, and faith suppressed a cringe. the winemakers in the region were a very tight bunch; there was some quiet competition, of course, and everyone wanted to win a medal or snag a great review. but what was good for one vineyard tended to be good for them all, so lorena's type of pr wasn't scoring any points.

"hi there, sarah," dad said. "how are you, sweetheart?"

"fine, thanks, mr. holland."

"levi," dad said, "you've seen faith since she got back, haven't you?"

she was abruptly aware that levi was standing very close to her, smelling like soap, his hair damp. what had sarah said? he'd given blue a bath?

he gave her a look that fell around an eight on the boredom scale, something she'd first invented sophomore year of high school, when she'd asked if he wanted to sign up to tutor with her in corning. one was oh. it's you. ten was you're invisible. and today's look, the eight, was really? you're still here?

"yes, sir," he said to her father. "gave her a speeding ticket the other day."

irritating. then again, he hadn't mentioned the fact that she'd been wedged in a bathroom window, either. points for discretion.

dad gave her a surprised look. "you, honey? you're usually so careful."

"i didn't realize they'd dropped the speed limit, that's all."

"well, you let me pay for that," he said.

goggy appeared from the crowd. "faith, take a look at what your grandfather is wearing. he knows i hate that shirt. it's polyester! and it's from 1972."

"a classic," pops said, though he was already sweating from the airless fabric.

"levi," goggy said, laying her hand on his forearm. his tanned, smooth, muscular forearm. little golden hairs caught the light. faith cleared her throat and looked at something else. "the squirrels in our attic. they make noise every night! faith can hardly sleep." this earned her another disgusted look from levi.

"goggy, it's fine. i'll go up there with some havahart traps."

"i'll take care of it," levi said.

"oh, thank you, sweetheart," goggy said. "i don't want faith to fall."

pru returned to the blue heron table, abby in tow, and cuffed levi fondly on the shoulder. "here he is. viagra for women."

"mom, please! we're in public!" abby said.

"you said it, pru!" lorena answered. "can i get an amen? right, faith?"

"yeah, no, i'm not feeling it," she murmured.

"sorry, sarah, didn't see you there," pru said. "didn't mean to ogle your brother in front of you. and what can i say? he's cute. levi, you're cute."

abby rolled her eyes. "sarah, want to go find something to do? get away from these horrifying adults?"

"sure," sarah said. "see you later, big bro." she smooched levi on the cheek, who took it manfully. even smiled.

it was just a small smile, but it took faith unawares. granted, she'd seen him smile over the years. plenty of steamy looks at jessica... honestly, he probably practiced those in the mirror. otherwise, it was the boredom scale for her.

except for that one day when he'd shocked the living daylights out of her and kissed her. chances were, he'd smiled then. and yes, there'd been a steamy look or two. something else, too. something...protective.

or not. he was looking at her now, the smile gone and that much more familiar bored look...a six...now a seven...getting close to an eight. he crinkled his brow at her as if to say, what, holland?

"johnny!" lorena boomed. "what's a girl gotta do to get a meal around here? buy me a sausage, what do you say? i love me some sausage! right, faith? us girls love sausage!"

"i'd say she has some nerve, calling herself a girl," mrs. johnson muttered darkly.

"what would you like, lorena?" dad asked. "faith? no? mrs. johnson, how about you? can i buy you some of that kettle corn you like? hmm? i'll take that silence as a yes." he winked, then walked away, lorena and her mammoth br**sts flopping along beside him.

"think he even knows she's interested?" ned asked.

"your grandfather is too good-hearted," mrs. johnson said. "that woman."

the next customer at the wine tasting was a familiar face. "hi, mrs. mcphales!" faith said, her throat tightening. "it's so nice to see you!" mrs. mcphales had been faith's girl scout leader one year, one of those die-hard types who actually made scouts earn the badges. ned, who was on the manningsport volunteer fire department, said they went up to her house fairly often these days. apparently she was heading down the sad road toward dementia...today, she was wearing her slippers instead of shoes. faith came out from behind the table and kissed the old lady. "what can i get for you, mrs. mcphales? would you like some wine?"

"i'll take a coffee, i guess," the old lady said.

"coming up, dear lady. cream and sugar?" mrs. johnson asked. she really was a peach once you got over her darth vader type of omnipotence. mrs. mcphales nodded, then seemed to recognize faith.

"faith! how are you? aren't you and that nice jeremy getting married soon?"

"we're not," faith said. "sorry."

"oh! that's right! he's a confirmed bachelor, from what i hear."

"i think so," faith said.

"you poor thing. chin up, faith, dear. you're very brave."

faith thought she heard a snort. right. levi was still here. brian, mrs. mcphales's son, came up and took his mom by the arm, smiling at faith as he led her away.

at the moment, there was no one around except levi. "thanks for washing blue," she said, attempting to be friendly. "that was really nice of you. and unnecessary, but thank you."

"keep him leashed." a five on the scale. "i'll have to start fining you if he runs loose all the time."

sigh. "it was one time, levi."

"make sure it's only one." he wasn't even looking at her; casting about instead for someone more interesting to talk with.

faith felt her jaw clenching. "heard you got divorced, chief."

his eyes came back to her. an eight. "yes."

"how long were you married?" colleen had passed on the details, of course, but why not torture him?

he waited before answering, his green eyes filled with disdain. "three months," he finally said.

"really! wow. what a short time."

"yes, holland," he said. "three months is a short time."

"bet you wish someone had stopped your wedding." she smiled sweetly. "seems only fair, since you're so good at doing that for others."

levi was crinkling his brow at her again. "when do you go back to san francisco?"

"we'll see."

"really? no job?"

"i'm very successful, actually. and i'm doing two projects here, one up at blue heron, another for the library, so i'll be around for at least six weeks. isn't that great?" he didn't answer. "there's julianne kammer now. i should go and talk to her."

"when are you going to see jeremy?" he asked.

"gosh. is it really any of your business? oh, wait, i forgot. you're jeremy's guard dog." she was going to see jeremy; it wasn't her fault he was in boston for a conference.

levi leaned in close, and she could smell his shampoo, feel the warmth from his cheek, and an odd tension coiled in her stomach. "grow up, faith," he whispered.

the man. was. suchapainintheass.

then she went to talk to julianne about the library courtyard and tried not to feel levi's eyes on her back.

on his first tour, levi found that war was all it promised to be, at times stupefyingly dull...days on end of doing nothing more interesting or challenging than cleaning your gun. then you'd be coming back to camp and a kid who'd taken food from you the day before might throw a grenade at your humvee. once, a car loaded with explosives detonated just outside camp, killing three soldiers, including one who'd won fifty bucks off levi the night before.

but there were good things, too. levi liked the structure, liked his fellow soldiers, liked the feeling that as screwed up as war always was, maybe they were doing something important. his unit was the 10th mountain from fort drum, and they were the guys who got shit done. sometimes it was best not to think about what those things were, but he was a soldier, a link in the chain of command, and he did his job. after his tour ended, he signed up for another. made sergeant, then staff sergeant. re-upped again and sent the bonus home to his mom.

then one day, while on patrol in some horrible little town where people lived in shacks and everyone seemed to stare at them with dead eyes, a bullet sang right past his head, shattering rock. another crack, and before levi could even turn around, scotty stokes, a private who'd just joined their unit, crumpled to the ground. levi grabbed him by the back of his vest and dragged him to shallow cover. they were cut off from the rest of the patrol, and the kid was bleeding badly from the leg, maybe an artery. levi tourniqueted the kid's leg as best he could. returned fire, killing one of the gunmen, then hefted the kid over his shoulder and made a run for it, praying that neither of them would be hit.

they made it. the medic thought scotty would lose his leg, but some badass ortho with a great pair of hands managed to save it. scotty would set off metal detectors for the rest of his life, but he'd walk on the legs god gave him. and levi got a silver star, though to him, it seemed more like dumb luck than any real forethought or skill. lots of training, maybe. his mom and sarah were proud, though. the lyons, too, acted as if he'd saved the world. they had mom and sarah up for dinner, and all four of them skyped with him, and that was pretty great.

from the time levi had left on that greyhound until he came back to manningsport, jeremy stayed in touch. sent him emails all the time, skyped once in a while, always smiling, always able to tell him something funny. stuff about college, football, dorm life. those little glimpses were almost hard to picture-levi had never been to boston, couldn't imagine playing in a stadium that huge. when levi described the desert sand storms, jeremy sent him really excellent ski goggles and six boxes of visine. elaine and ted sent him candy and organic potato chips, and of course mom and sarah sent him stuff constantly. sarah's report cards, mom's long, worried letters.