"honey," he said, "this...matchmaking stuff. did that have to do with what you just told us?"

faith nodded. "i guess i thought if i could find you someone, it'd wipe away some of my...guilt."

dad shook his head. "i haven't been paying enough attention," he said. he was quiet for a few minutes as he stroked her hair. "now you listen," he said finally, "and you listen good. i'm always going to miss your mother, even if i get married again, which frankly, i can't picture. she wasn't perfect, but she was perfect for me, and if there's ever going to be anyone else, that's my responsibility, not yours. when the right person comes along, she will. it'll be my job to notice. you understand?" she nodded, and he leaned over to kiss her forehead. "i'm supposed to take care of you, not the other way around."

dang. more tears. "you're the best, daddy."

her father stood up. "well. you go to sleep, princess."

"i love you, dad," she said.

"i love you, too." he paused. "your mom loved you so much, faith. you were our little surprise. our gift."

the words settled around her like a blanket, soft and warm, keeping her company as she fell asleep in her old room.

chapter twenty-eight

levi's day had not been good.

first, there was nina, who'd shown up at his apartment at seven o'clock with donuts and coffee from lorelei's, which he hadn't accepted (though it had been hard...the donuts were still warm). she'd followed him to the station. bopped over to the post office, where she'd rented a post office box, to demonstrate her intention to stay, she'd said. mel stoakes had come in to say she'd been in the candy store, did levi know she was back? gerard chartier had entered just as mel had been leaving to report the same news. "hey, levi, that hot chick you were married to...she back in town?"

so rather than having her sit next to his desk and interrogate him in front of emmaline and everett, he'd said yes to lunch at hugo's, where hopefully jess would spit in nina's food, and reiterated the fact that he had no interest in getting back together with her.

"that's the anger talking, querido," she said, licking her lips.

"it's the brain talking," he replied wearily.

"ah, but what does your heart say?"

"same thing. as do the lungs, liver and kidneys. you know as well as i do that you're only back here because you're at loose ends." and that was another thing. had she come back on leave, he might've believed the sincerity of her words, not that it would've changed his mind. as it was now, he was just a stopgap measure. the second nina was bored, she'd be off again.

hopefully, she was bored now.

she wasn't. at the end of his shift, there she was, coming into the station like she owned the place. he hadn't seen this much of her during their entire marriage. ignoring emmie and ev, she plunked herself on the edge of his desk as he shut down his computer.

"wanna get a drink, baby?" she asked.

"nina, i really would like to go spend some time with faith," he said bluntly.

"to make me jealous?"

"no. because she's..."

"sweet?" nina said, pulling a face and batting her eyes.

"mine."

the word surprised him, and it made nina freeze. but only for a second. "fine," she said. "go to the little princess. bet she doesn't know what i know." she reached for his belt, right there in front of everett and emmaline, but he snagged her wrist.

"you'd be surprised," he growled. "go back to the city, nina."

"i'm not going anywhere, baby. but for now, fly home to your little birdie. just remember, your g*y best friend had her first."

there was the nina he knew. scratch the surface, and she was meaner than a fisher cat.

he walked across the green, jerked open the door of the opera house and stomped up the stairs. heard noises in faith's apartment, opened the door.

there were boxes everywhere.

she was packing over by her bookcase, her back to him.

packing, as in leaving. moving.

blue leaped over to him and tried to mount his leg. "get off, blue," he muttered, and the dog slunk away, clearly wounded. "going somewhere?" he asked faith.

"hey!" she was wearing those ridiculous dalmatian pajamas. "how are you? how's it going with, um...with nina?"

"are you leaving?"

she glanced around. "oh. um, i only had this place month-to-month. sharon wiles found a permanent tenant. wasn't happy about the red wall, either, but she said she'd paint that over. anyway, yeah, i have to get out." she seemed nervous, her hands knotted in front of her. "but after san francisco."

coldness filled his chest. she was moving. "san francisco?"

"right, right. i guess i didn't tell you. you've been, um, otherwise occupied the past few days. anyway, i have a job in oakland, so i'm heading back to san francisco on monday. it's this really nice common area for a condo complex, great view of the bridge, and while i'm there, i'll-" she broke off, her mood visibly changing. folded her arms under her chest, tossed her hair back. "why are you scowling? if anyone has reason to scowl, isn't it me? since my boyfriend has basically ignored me since his ex-wife popped into town?"

"you're going to san francisco?"

"yes, and about the ex-wife and potential reconciliation, maybe you could at least talk to me about what you-"

"for how long?"

she threw up her hands. "a few weeks, levi."

"how few?"

"possibly six, hopefully more like four. i'm-"

"really. and you never mentioned this."

"it came up kind of fast. why is the branch back up your ass, levi?"

"how fast?" he said, ignoring the question.

"um...i pitched the job in august, but i didn't hear until about a week ago, and it wasn't a sure thing until friday. i would've told you-"

"so you make plans to move to san francisco for a month, maybe more, but you don't think to talk about this with me."

she stared at him a beat or two. "i guess it was a little hard to find the time," she said, her voice cool. "since you've been so busy with nina and the peace talks."

"you could've made the time. and there are no peace talks," he growled. "give me some credit. she left me. that was the end of it."

"really nice of you to tell me. funny, how it's taken you two days to mention this."

"you can't really believe i'd get back with her."

"i have no idea what to believe, levi! because you don't talk to me!"

"said the woman who neglected to mention she's moving back to san francisco."

she jammed her hands on her hips. "well, it looks like communication isn't our thing." she was mad now. good. so was he. kinda furious, actually.

twice in his life, levi had been left. hadn't seen either time coming. both times, he'd had to pick up the pieces, jamming down misery, going on with day-to-day life, burying all that hurt, going on as if everything was fine.

he didn't feel like doing that again.

she was glaring at him, waiting-for what, he had no idea. this was too complicated, too difficult, too...emotional. he jammed a hand through his hair. "okay. that's fine. this wasn't working, anyway."

faith's head jerked back a fraction. "wait. what? you're dumping me?"

he shrugged, shaking his leg to dislodge her dog. "have fun in san francisco."

her mouth opened. "i'm coming home after this job, levi," she said, her voice softer now. "don't make this into a big deal. it's just for a few weeks."

"you sure?" he said, his voice tight. "because the first time you went for a few weeks, it turned out to be a few years. then you come back here, and you decide maybe you'll stay. but maybe not. maybe this is just a stopgap for you. you're going back to california, and, hell, maybe that'll be so great, you'll change your mind again!" he seemed to be yelling. not good. definitely not good.

she tilted her head. "i have to say, your head does seem to be up your ass with that branch right now. you know what i think? i think this is really about nina."

"it's not."

"seems like it is."

"it's not."

she threw up her hands again. "great! another conversation we can't have. you won't talk about the war, you won't talk about your father, you won't talk about your ex-wife. and here's the thing, levi. i've already been with a guy who hid some very important things from me. i'm not doing it again, so if there's something you'd like to say, by all means. go for it."

"well, i'm not g*y."

"i'm aware of that. still, i would really appreciate it if you could tell me what on earth is really going on here. blue, for the love of god, get a room, okay?" she kicked the dog his pillow, which the dog happily jumped. "you have ten seconds. one." she grabbed a book and threw it into a box. "two." another book. "three."

"don't forget the picture of jeremy," levi said.

she froze, book in hand. "really? are you really going there?"

"maybe you never got over him. i'd hate to force you to take sloppy seconds with me." ah, shit. this was bad, and getting worse by the second.

"it's ironic," she said. "you're the one who can't resist the chance to run off to open a jar or save a cat. you're the one with an ex-wife sniffing around. i'm trying to make a real relationship here, but i can't do it alone."

he shrugged. felt some heat rising to his face that he didn't like one bit.

"you know what?" she said, walking over to him, her eyes narrowed. she poked him in the chest with her forefinger. hard. "i'm the one who said i love you. the fact that you didn't say boo was duly noted, chief cooper. you can't even admit you gave me that damn rock, and i've been carrying that thing around from place to place for decades!" another poke. "say what you want about jeremy-" poke "-but g*y or not, at least he knew how to be in a relationship. at least he was willing to commit."

he looked down at her. he didn't like having all these...these...feelings churning around. he didn't like fighting.

and he didn't like being wrong.

"enjoy california," he said.

with that, he turned around and left.

chapter twenty-nine

"he's a therapy dog," faith said, fishing out a tissue and blue's papers at the same time. "he can ride with me. persons with disabilities act and all that." she wiped her eyes and gave the tsa drone a watery smile.

"boarding begins in forty minutes. next."

faith sat down, blue's head immediately resting in her lap.

ah, irony. back at the buffalo-niagara airport, once again dumped. the tears wouldn't seem to stop leaking out of her eyes, but she gave her dog an ear-scratch nonetheless.

the first time she'd gone to san francisco, she'd been fleeing in shock and heartbreak. this time, though, her heart was made of stronger stuff.

the trouble was, levi cooper had said heart in his fist. she loved him, the big dummy. no one-no one-could've done what he did the night he went out to the accident site and...oh, crap, just the image of him walking around in the middle of the freezing, dark night, measuring stuff, then doing an entire accident reconstruction, then knocking on her door at three o'clock in the morning...a little squeak escaped her throat, causing blue to put his paws on her lap and lick away the tears.