"i told you i was going out tonight," alex was saying. "the least you could've done was have the consideration to let me know where you were. you're lucky i don't ground you for the next ten years."

jim dropped his head, looking guilty. "sorry, dad."

"i'm sorry, mr. preston," peter said.

"it's not your fault."

to his credit, alex preston glanced apologetically at peter and carol as if to say he regretted this scene.

"it might be a good idea if you hurried home yourself," alex told her son.

carol stiffened in the front seat. she felt like jumping out of the car and informing him that they had no intention of staying anyway. "we should leave now," she said to peter with as much dignity as she could muster.

"later," peter called to his friend.

"later," jim called back, still looking chagrined.

peter had reversed the car out of the driveway and was headed toward the house before either of them spoke.

"did you know jim was supposed to go home right after school?" carol asked.

"how could i know something like that?" peter flared. "i asked him over to listen to my new cd. i didn't know his dad was going to come unglued over it."

"he's just being a parent."

"maybe, but at least you don't scream at me in front of my friends."

"i try not to."

"i've never seen mr. preston blow his cool before. he sure was mad."

"i don't think we should be so hard on him," she said, feeling generous despite her earlier annoyance. adults needed to stick together. "he was obviously worried."

"but, mom, jim's fifteen! you shouldn't have to know where a kid is every minute of the day."

"wanna bet?"

peter was diplomatic enough not to respond to that.

by the time they'd arrived at the house and carol had changed clothes for her class, their dinner was ready.

"mom," peter said thoughtfully as she brought a fresh green salad to the table. "you should think about going out more yourself."

"i'm going out tonight."

"i mean on dates and stuff."

"stuff?" carol repeated, swallowing a smile.

"you know what i mean." he sighed loudly. "you haven't lost it yet, you know."

carol wasn't sure she did. but she was fairly certain he meant to compliment her, so she nodded solemnly. "thanks."

"you don't even need to use oil of olay."

she nodded, although she didn't appreciate such close scrutiny of her skin.

"i was looking at your hair and i don't see any gray, and you don't have fat folds or anything."

carol couldn't help it-she laughed.

"mom, i'm serious. you could probably pass for thirty."

"thanks...i think."

"i'm not kidding. jim's dad is going out with someone who's twenty-one, and jim told me she's tall and blond and pretty with great big...you know." he cupped his hands over his chest.

carol sat down at the table. leaning her elbows on it, she dangled her fork over her plate. "are you suggesting i find myself a twenty-one-year-old guy with bulging muscles and compete with jim's dad?"

"of course not," peter said scornfully. "well, not exactly. i'm just saying you're not over the hill. you could be dating a whole lot more than you do. and you should before...well, before it's too late."

carol pierced a fork full of lettuce and offered a convenient excuse. "i don't have time to get involved with anyone."

peter took a bite of his own salad. "if the right guy came along, you'd make time."

"perhaps."

"mr. preston does. jim says his dad's always busy with work, but he finds time to date lots of women."

"right, but most of the women he sees are too young to vote." instantly feeling guilty for the catty remark, carol shook her head. "that wasn't nice. i apologize."

"i understand," peter said, sounding mature beyond his years. "the way i see it, though, you need a man."

that was news to her. "why? i've got you."

"true, but i won't be around much longer, and i hate the thought of you getting old and gray all alone."

"i won't be alone. grandma will move in with me and the two of us will sit side by side in our rocking chairs and crochet afghans. for entertainment we'll play bingo every saturday afternoon." even as she spoke, carol realized how ridiculous that was.

"grandma would drive you crazy in three days," peter said with a know-it-all smile, waving his fork in her direction. "besides, you'd get fat eating all her homemade pasta."

"maybe so," carol agreed, unwilling to argue the point. "but i have plenty of time before i have to worry about it. anything can happen in the next few years."

"i'm worried now," peter said. "you're letting your life slip through your fingers like...like the sand in an hourglass."

carol's eyes connected with her son's. "have you been watching soap operas again?"

"mom," peter cried, "you're not taking me seriously."

"i'm sorry," she said, trying to hide the smile that raised the corners of her mouth. "it's just that my life is full. i'm simply too busy to spend time developing a relationship." one look from her son told her he didn't accept her explanation. "sweetheart," she told him, setting her fork aside, "you don't need to worry about me. i'm a big girl. when and if i decide to see another man, i promise it'll be someone muscular so you can brag to your friends. would a wrestler be all right?"

"the least you could've done was get married again," he muttered, his patience clearly strained. "dad would've wanted that, don't you think?"

any mention of peter's father brought with it a feeling of terror and guilt. they'd both been far too young and foolish to get married. they were high school seniors when carol learned she was pregnant. given her very traditional catholic family, marriage had seemed the only option. she'd also believed her love and their baby would change bruce. for those reasons, carol had agreed to marry him. but from that point to the moment bruce had died in a terrible car accident three years later, carol's life had been a living hell. she'd have to be crazy to even consider remarriage.

"peter," she said, pointedly glancing at her watch and pushing her plate away. "i'm sorry to end this conversation so abruptly, but i've got to get to class."

"you're just being stubborn, but fine. it's your decision."

carol didn't have time to argue. she dumped the remainder of her meal in the garbage, rinsed off her plate and stuck it in the dishwasher. she left peter after giving him instructions to take care of his own dishes, then she hurried into the bathroom.

she refreshed her makeup and ran a brush though her shoulder-length dark hair, then examined her reflection in the mirror.

"not bad," she muttered, eyeing herself critically. thirty-four wasn't exactly retirement age.

releasing her breath, carol let her shoulders fall. "who are you kidding?" she said with a depressed sigh. she faced the mirror and glared at her image again. peter might not think she needed oil of olay, but the dew was definitely off the rose.

tugging at the skin on her cheekbones until it was stretched taut, she squinted at her reflection, trying to remember what she'd looked like at eighteen. young. pretty. stupid.

she wasn't any one of those now. and even if she'd had the opportunity, she wouldn't go back. she'd made plenty of mistakes, but there wasn't a single, solitary thing she'd change about her current life. although after peter got his driver's license, she might modify that thought.

no, the only option open to her was the future, and she'd face that, sagging skin and all.

"hey, mom." peter's voice cut into her musings. "can i invite a friend over tonight?"

carol opened the bathroom door and frowned at her son. "i can't believe you'd even ask that. you know the rules. no one's allowed here when i'm not home."

"but, mom," he whined.

"no exceptions."

"you don't trust me, do you?"

"we're not discussing this now. i have a class to teach, and i'm already five minutes behind schedule." she blamed peter for that. if he hadn't tried to convince her how attractive she was, she wouldn't be late in the first place.

class went well. they were into the third week of the eight-week course sponsored by ford hospital in a suburb of portland, oregon. the couples were generally first-time parents, and their eagerness and excitement for the adventure that lay before them filled each session with infectious enthusiasm.

if carol had known when she was carrying peter that he was to be her one and only pregnancy, she would've taken time to appreciate it more.

since she was the last to leave the building, carol turned off the lights and hauled her material out to her car. the parking lot was well lit, and she hurried through the rain, sliding inside the car. she drew in a deep breath and turned the ignition key. the ford coughed and objected before roaring to life. her car had been acting a little funny lately, but it was nothing she could pinpoint. satisfied that there wasn't anything too terribly wrong, she eased into traffic on the busy street.

it wasn't until she'd stopped for the red light at the first intersection that her car released a series of short pathetic coughs, only this time it really sounded...sick.

"what's wrong?" she cried as the light turned green. pushing down on the accelerator, she leaped ahead, but it was apparent that the problem, whatever it might be, was serious.

"all right, all right," she said, "i get the message. you need a mechanic and fast." a quick glance down the business-lined thoroughfare revealed there wasn't a single service station in sight.

"great," she moaned. "how about if i promise not to let peter behind the wheel for a while. will that help?"

the ailing car belched loudly and a plume of black smoke engulfed the rear end.

"okay, so you're not interested in a deal." turning into the first driveway she happened upon, carol found herself in a restaurant parking lot. the minute she entered an empty space, the car uttered one last groan and promptly died. and of course she'd left her cell phone charging-at home.

for a full minute carol just sat here. "you can't do this to me!" her car disagreed. climbing out, she walked around it, as if she'd magically discover a cure lying on the ground. the rain was coming down in sheets, and within seconds, she was drenched.