"perhaps you should have invested with foreland investments, rebecca," says alicia, and another titter goes round the room. a few faces turn round to gawk at me, and i stare back at them lividly. they're fellow journalists, for god's sake. they should be on my side. national union of journalists solidarity and all that.

not that i've ever actually got round to joining the nuj. but still.

"what do you need twenty quid for?" says luke brandon, from the front of the room.

"i. . my aunt," i say defiantly. "she's in hospital and i wanted to get her a present."

the room is silent. then, to my disbelief, luke brandon reaches into his pocket, takes out a