i'm so gripped, i barely hear the others give their answers. he was talking about us. not dirk and sally: us. ben and lottie. a warm glow has stolen over me, and i can't stop smiling. he's loved me for fifteen years. he's stood up and said it in public. nothing so romantic has ever happened to me, ever.

the only tiny, minuscule niggle is ...

well. just a teeny point, which is that i still don't remember it happening. my mind is blank. i don't remember ben having the flu, nor do i remember nursing him. but, then, there's a lot about that time i don't remember, i reassure myself. i'd forgotten all about big bill. i'd forgotten about the poker tournament. it's probably buried somewhere deep inside me.

"... you know it was on that picnic! you've always said so!"

abruptly, i become aware that melissa and matt are still squabbling about his answer.

"it wasn't on the picnic," says matt obstinately. "it was in the cotswolds. but the way you're carrying on, maybe i wish i hadn't!"

melissa takes a sharp breath, and i can practically see smoke puff from her ears.

"i think i know when we fell in love, matt! and it wasn't in the bloody cotswolds!"

"which brings us to the end of our contest!" nico puts in deftly. "and i am delighted to say that our winners are couple three! ben and lottie parr! you win a special open-air couple's massage and will be awarded the happy couple of the week trophy at our gala prize ceremony tomorrow evening. congratulations!" he leads an uproarious round of applause, and ben winks at me. we take a bow, and i feel ben squeeze my hand tightly.

"i like the sound of this couple's massage," he says into my ear. "i read about it earlier. they do it on the beach in a special curtained arbor with essential oils. you get glasses of champagne, and after they've finished, they leave you alone for some 'private time.' "

private time? i meet his eyes. at last! ben and i alone on a beach in our own private space, with the waves crashing on the shore and glasses of champagne and our bodies slick with oil ...

"let's do it as soon as we can." my voice is thick with longing.

"tonight." his hand lightly brushes against my breast, making me shiver with anticipation. i guess we've abandoned the no-touching rule. we bow again to the audience and then head down off the platform. "and now let's go for a drink," adds ben. "i want to ply you with alcohol."

turns out there are advantages to having a butler. the minute we say that we want a celebratory drink, georgios swings into action, securing us a corner table at the posh beach restaurant, complete with champagne on ice and special lobster canapes brought down from the main restaurant. for once i don't mind the fuss and bother as the butlers dance around us. it feels right. we should be fussed over. we're the champions!

"so!" says ben when at last we're left alone. "good day, as it turns out."

"very good." i grin back.

"two hours till our massage." he meets my eyes, and his mouth twitches with a smile.

two delicious hours of savoring the spectacular beach sexathon which is to come. i can cope with that. i sip my champagne and lean back, feeling the sun on my face. life is just about perfect right now. there's only the tiniest strain in my thoughts, which i'm trying to ignore. i can ignore it. yes. i can.

no. i can't.

as i sip my champagne and crunch salted almonds, i'm aware of a glitch in my mood. a weak point i keep trying to skate over. but i can't fool myself. and i know it's only going to worry me more, the longer i leave it.

i don't know him. not properly. he's my husband and i don't know him.

i mean, it's fine that he votes differently from me-but the point is, i had no idea. i thought we'd covered so much ground over the last few days-but now i realize there are some gaping holes. what other surprises am i going to come across?

in recruitment, we ask the same basic question whenever we want to get to know our candidates quickly: "where do you want to be in one year, five years, and ten years?" i'd have no idea what to put for ben, and that can't be right, surely?

"you're very distant." ben touches my nose. "earth to lottie."

"where do you want to be in five years' time?" i ask abruptly.

"excellent question," he says promptly. "where do you want to be?"

"don't deflect." i smile at him. "i want to know the ben parr official game plan."