our waitress was trying to flirt with me and didn't care that ellery was right there next to me. when we were about to leave, ellery excused herself and went to the restroom. while she was gone, the redheaded waitress came over and whispered in my ear. "i would love to have your c*ck in my mouth," she winked.

i looked over her shoulder and saw ellery coming towards her. the angered look on her face told me she had enough of this girl. she walked up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. i started to get nervous because i know ellery, and she doesn't put up with any shit.

"excuse me, lady; what the f**k do you think you're doing?"

"listen, bitch; if you're doing all three of them, then there's no harm in letting me have a taste of this juicy one," she smiled at me. my look turned to panic as i saw rage in ellery's eyes. i was going to stop this or she might end up in jail.

"who are you calling a bitch?!" ellery yelled.

i stepped out of the booth as mason and landon sat there with smiles on their faces. i grabbed ellery's arm. "come on let's go," i said as i quickly escorted her out of the bar with mason and landon following behind us, laughing. i kissed her on the side of her head, "i can't take you anywhere." she turned her head and gave me a stern look. "it's not me; it's you and these damn women you attract." i laughed as i picked her up and carried her to the car.

we arrived back at ellery's apartment. celebrating her birthday with her was the best day of my life, except for the day i found her standing in my kitchen. i walked into the room with a 12 inch round cake, beautifully lit up with 24 burning candles. i set it in front of her and watched her smile as she closed her eyes, made a wish, and blew them out. her sweetness and innocence swept me off my feet and left me with a feeling that i never knew i was capable of. her smile, her laughter, and the way she played with her hair when she was nervous were some of the things i loved most about her.

i handed her the knife to cut the first piece of cake, and she took it from my hand with her delicate fingers. i stood there and stared at her as she cut each piece with finesse. she looked at me with her ice blue eye; eyes that were mesmerizing and full of life.

"what are you thinking about?" she asked.

a smile fell upon my face as i answered, "i was just thinking about how much i love you." the words i was never able to say before, now flowed freely from my lips as easy as loving her did. she leaned over, put a dab of icing on the tip of my nose, and laughed. she wiped it off and held her finger to my mouth as i took it inside and licked it slowly. i saw the fire in her eyes like i do every time she looks at me.

i can't extinguish the fear that resides in my heart with her illness. i don't want to believe that she won't get better, but there's a tiny part of me that is scared shitless that she won't. i put on a brave front for her because she needs me. she needs me to be her rock, and i won't let her down. mason and landon left, and we walked to the bedroom.

i laid there in bed, checking my emails while waiting for her to come out of the bathroom. she opened the door and walked into the bedroom while brushing her teeth, frantically looking for something. "what's wrong, baby?" i asked. she mumbled something; i couldn't understand her between the toothbrush and the foam. she held up her free hand against her ear.

"are you looking for your phone?" i asked her.

she nodded her head. i smiled as i pulled it from between the sheets. she smiled at me and gave me thumbs up as she went back into the bathroom and spat in the sink.

"thanks, baby!" she yelled. she walked towards the bed and looked at her phone, checking her messages before she pulled back the covers and climbed in. she snuggled into my chest as i put my arm around her. this was right, too right, as she softly kissed my chest and slowly drifted to sleep.

chapter 20

the next morning, i woke up and looked over to find ellery staring at me. i could sense something was bothering her. she kissed my cheek and laid her head on my chest.

"what's wrong?" i asked as i held her.

"i'm scared to go today," she whispered.

i kissed her on the top of her head. "don't be scared; i'm here with you, and i told you that i will protect you. you have nothing to fear when you're with me; i promise you that, my love."

she looked up at me and smiled. "i think we have time for a long shower before heading over to the hospital."

"you must have read my mind, miss lane, because i was just thinking the same thing," i smiled back.

we ate breakfast and headed out the door. i walked over to the porsche as ellery turned the opposite way. "hey, where are you going?" i asked.

"i'm walking," she replied.

"no, you're not! get in the car, ellery, i'm driving you there."

i sighed as she kept walking down the street. i ran up behind her and picked her up.

"connor, come on, please?" she laughed.

"sorry, babe, but it's better to drive there because we don't know how you'll feel afterwards. you may not be able to walk home."

"you're right; i'm sorry," she said as she kissed me on the cheek.

we arrived at the hospital, and i could tell ellery was nervous as she was biting her bottom lip.

we sat in the waiting room of dr. murphy's office until a leggy blonde receptionist called ellery's name and led us to a room. i put my arm around ellery as we walked down the hall, letting her know she's safe. the blonde kept eyeing me up and down and ellery noticed it. i was getting nervous because of what happened last night, and ellery won't hold back. she gave ellery a cloth gown to change into and quickly left the room after ellery gave her an evil look. i took the gown from her hands and helped her into it.

dr. murphy walked in with a silver tray and three large needles. she explained to ellery what each injection was going to feel like. she looked at me and told me that ellery is going to need me to hold her hand. just hearing dr. murphy explain to ellery what her body is going to feel like had scared the shit out of me. i looked at her face, and she was as pale as a ghost. she was frightened, and it was my job to protect her. i turned on the bed so i was facing her, and i grabbed her hand.

"just look at me, baby, and focus on nothing but me, ok?" i said.

she nodded her head as dr. murphy inserted the first needle. she squeezed my hand hard as she shrieked. when the second needle was injected, her shriek turned into a cry as she let go of my hand, clutched my shirt with her fists and screamed into my chest. my heart was breaking for her. i held her in my arms as the third needed pierced her skin, and she continued to scream.

"please, dr. murphy; isn't there anything we can do for her?" i pleaded.

"i'm sorry, mr. black. we have to let it run its course, but it's only temporary. i'll be back in an hour to see how she's doing; if you need anything, or she's having a reaction, you are to push this button immediately," she said as she walked out of the room.

"it's ok, baby. just hold onto me," i whispered to her as she laid there and shook in my arms. my eyes started to swell with tears. i had to hold them back. i need to be strong for her, but seeing her like this and having to go through this pain was horrifying. i just kept telling her i loved her over and over.

a couple of days had passed, and we mostly stayed in bed, watched movies, and cooked together.

cooking with ellery was fun because neither one of us were very good at it. when i sat at the table, doing work and holding meetings, ellery would sit at her easel and paint. when she wasn't looking, i would stare at her and watch how flawlessly she moved her brush on the canvas. this is how i pictured the rest of my life with her; she's my future.

the next morning, i was up early for a brief phone meeting with paul regarding the chicago acquisition. just as i hung up with him, my mom called. she wanted to make sure i was coming for thanksgiving. i told her that i had met someone very special and that i would be bringing her to thanksgiving to meet the family. i could tell she was excited by the way she screamed, "connor's bringing someone home for thanksgiving!" i guess she had the right to be excited since i've never brought anyone home for her to meet before. i hung up the phone, walked to the bedroom, and stared at my sleeping beauty. she opened her eyes and smiled at me. i smiled back as i walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"how are you feeling?" i asked as my finger ran down her jaw line.

"i'm feeling ok. i heard you on the phone."

"i was talking to my mother. i'm taking you home for thanksgiving."

"did you tell your mom about me?" she asked.

"of course i did, and she's looking forward to meeting you. she's going to love you."

"i meant, did you tell her that i have cancer?" she asked as she licked her lips.

i sat there and looked at her because i didn't tell my mom about ellery's cancer. i shook my head.

"why didn't you tell her, connor?"

my eyes traveled to the window, "i haven't had the chance, and it's not something i want to do over the phone, elle. i think that needs to be done in person."

"so, what you're saying is that you want me to spring it on her on thanksgiving? hi black family! i'm ellery lane, your son's girlfriend who has cancer for the second time in her 24 years of life and is nothing but a walking cancer disaster."

i got up from the bed. i couldn't believe she just said that. "wow, elle, you really know how to ruin a moment. i will tell her before thanksgiving; end of discussion," i said in an authoritative tone.

"no, connor. it's not the end of the discussion, and don't you dare take that tone with me!"

i turned away from the window and looked at her, "are you looking to start an argument?"

"all you have to do is tell me why you didn't tell her yet," she pleaded.

i didn't know why i didn't mention it. i've been so busy with trying to take care of ellery and conducting business at the same time. i didn't think about telling my mom about her cancer because i just want to forget about it. i looked at her and yelled, "you want to know why?! i haven't been able to do anything because i'm stuck here taking care of you!" shit, that came out wrong, but it was too late because i could see the rage in her eyes. i turned towards the window and ran my hand through my hair.

"stuck? you're not stuck here, connor. i didn't f**king ask you to come here, and i sure as hell didn't ask you to take care of me."

she was so hurt by what i said, but i didn't mean it. i turned and looked into her sad blue eyes, "baby, i didn't mean it like that."

"get out of here!" she screamed as she picked up a glass that was sitting on the night stand and threw it at me. i ducked and shook my head.

"fine, if that's what you want!" i yelled as i stormed out of her apartment. i took a walk to the beach. the sun was shining, and it was warm out. i needed to let her cool off before i went back and apologized. she was right; i should have told my mom about her having cancer. ellery has every right to be pissed as hell at me. i was gone about an hour, and on my way back to her apartment, i stopped at the store to buy her a bag of chocolate.