shit. where had that come from? probably the same damned place as the jealousy chewing his hide.

"by the nose?" she stilled against him. "are you trying to make me remember why i want to sign those papers or does being a bastard just come naturally to you sometimes?"

"naturally. no doubt. and that's something else we'll have to deal with, isn't it?"

he'd had a belly full of deep-water talk for one night. turning, he shut off the shower.

he swiped aside the plastic curtain, reached to snag two towels, passed one to monica. sawing the towel across his back, he forced himself not to look at her, not until he figured out where the hell his jealousy had come from.

"you know that's unfair." her voice drifted over his shoulder.

"what?" he shot back while retrieving his clothes.

"about hunter. every time i postponed the wedding plans i had a tdy. you know we can't always get out of those."

great. so she really did have a thing for the guy? he yanked on his boxers. "whatever you want to tell yourself. how many times was it you canceled wedding plans with him? four or five?"

her footsteps stalled. "what was her name?"

he should have remembered she didn't fight fair.

"tina," he answered, yanking his t-shirt over his head. "she was twenty years old, liked sci-fi movies and mushrooms on her pizza, and had just declared her major in electrical engineering before she gave birth to a stillborn son who she never even got to look at."

monica wrapped the towel around herself, her wet hair clinging to her neck in clumps. "and you loved her. your son, too."

apparently, jealousy ran a two-way street, and yet the thought didn't make him feel one damned bit better. "yes."

this time her arms didn't go around him, no talk of who was hurting, just the two of them standing near-naked with barer souls.

"how is it that by getting closer, i feel like we're further apart?"

couldn't they even enjoy one damned night of afterglow? "i guess that means you're not going to invite me to sleep over for another round of mistress monica."

"there's the jack i know, using laughs to avoid any tough talk." she unearthed an overlong jersey from her bag and jerked it over her head, towel falling to her feet.

of course she picked it up and made tracks to hang the damned thing on the rack. god forbid she should just let it lie there growing musty while she talked to him.

"well, mon, the way i see it, things don't always have to be so goddamned complicated."

she didn't answer him. but she didn't snap back, either, a positive sign he needed to capitalize on before things exploded.

"time out," he said. "let's stop before either one of us says too much. okay, before i say too much and you haul ass the other way. how about i throw some of those blankets on the floor and we sleep the day away until it's time for my night shift in the command center."

still she stood at the towel rack with her back to him, and he was feeling every bit as predictable as her. instead of calming her, he had them both off center and heading for a crash if he didn't maneuver a recovery soon.

"damn it, monica, you have a way of getting to me. i sure as hell didn't mean to lose control just now."

she glanced over her shoulder, a strand of wet hair swinging, clinging to her cheek. "i make you lose control?"

"hell, yeah."

she stepped into the doorway. "sleep?"

"seems smart." better than talking.

"together."

he shrugged. "not so smart."

her stance softened. striding past him, she reached over to her cot and snagged the quilted sleeping bag. "i guess i'm not feeling all that smart today, either."

again she'd surprised him. one side benefit to the complicated relationship deal.

together, they silently spread the sleeping bag on the floor and stretched out together, jack using monica's pillow and monica using jack's chest for hers. her damp hair soaked his t-shirt, not that he cared.

"i sang."

he pulled a wet strand off her cheek. "sang?"

"for the talent competition. i sang a really, really bad rendition of that lee greenwood song, 'god bless the u.s.a.'"

"ah, those soldier bones of yours begging to be set free."

"that, and probably a subconscious slap at my mother for leaving."

he hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against his side. saying nothing seemed wiser than shoving his size thirteen boot in his mouth.

her arm slid around to hug him back. "i haven't had much experience with making a relationship work."

saying nothing definitely seemed wiser since the truth hammered in his head loud and clear that he didn't have any more experience than her with the long term. tina had died so young. and his bachelor days were no testament to commitment, either.

the smart woman in his arms nailed it dead-on. somehow by getting closer they kept ending up further apart.

jack settled onto the hard floor to sleep with his wife for the first time since the night they'd said "i do" to an elvis impersonator nearly four months ago.

drew pushed through the flap on the sprawling tent, a two-pack stretch of canvas holding tables with computers and the comm radio. a far sight different from the music-filled hangar of the night before.

his men were out in the desert readying for live-fire exercises, a practice run of taking the compound's airfield including everything but the jump.

while he orchestrated from the cushy-assed tented command center. in the rear with the gear, listening to radio calls being manned by the rto- radio telephone operator.

hell, he'd worked his ass off to get to this point in his career. damned silly to want to be out there in the field instead of sitting in here with an oversize sand-tray model of the battlefield.

of course he would be in the field when they took the compound. his command center then would be nothing more than the radio and a smaller mobile comm set up in the middle of the battle.

still, part of him itched for the time when he humped through the field for days on end, when a hot meal meant an mre warmed on the engine block of a humvee. just thinking about it gelled that sense of unity, family, in him again. he embraced the feeling of pride at being a part of a hardcore, elite unit. conditions sucked, and anyone who couldn't handle it wasn't man enough.

drew settled in a chair behind his intelligence computer. their practice maneuvers involved a fairly straightforward battle tactic. once the hostages were secured by the seals, the support platoon would fire into the objective to get the enemies' heads up. the heavier armed attack platoon would launch a sneak approach from the other side. a flare would alert the support platoon at the correct time for a lift and shift-lift fire up and shift away so as not to shoot into the attack platoon.

they should have been launching the real deal tomorrow night, if not for the weather forecast of sandstorms. now they would have to wait an extra day. at least they had confirmation that the three hostages were alive. sydney hyatt was alive.

yasmine's half sister.

damn, but he still couldn't believe he'd kissed yasmine. really couldn't wrap his head around the fact he wanted to do it again and was starting not to care how things looked.

well, hell. didn't he want a return to his old days when it was all about the hoo-uh? the tough choices. easy was for the weak.

maybe he would check up on her after they returned to the states. see how things played out on neutral ground. take it slow since she was more innocent than he ever recalled being.

dating? he popped a lifesaver into his mouth.

no way could he envision himself with flowers and candy in hand on her doorstep. but he could see himself taking her to his favorite restaurant, sitting on the deck, wind in her hair and smile on her face enticing him to shake some sand off his boots.

none of which would happen if he didn't get his mind on his job here. he shut down emotional crap and focused on the operation at hand.

time passed in the tunnel-vision focus on his mission, the familiar sounds of radio calls and orders mixing with the pop of gunfire in the distance.

support troops full-out. flare. lift and shift.

"cease fire!" the radio crackled. "cease fire! cease fire!"

the tunnel vision broadened. adrenaline and dread splashed like light exploding into his vision. both training and instincts already predicted the next words that would bark over the radio.

"friendly fire."

quiet echoed through the waves, that cavern of silence during the realization of a no-going-back moment.

drew shot to his feet and took over the radio controls. "alpha, stat-rep to my locale asap."

"will-co." will comply.

he waited for the status report while platoon sergeants ran out to take accountability of their men. then for the information to trickle back up the chain-company to battalion, to brigade and finally to the regiment.

"one down. medic on the way."

drew's thumb slid off the button. "shit." one breath later, he ordered, "expect me in five."

hauling ass out of the tent and into the pitch dark toward the closest humvee, he shouted the order to enter the field. with each slamming yard during the mile toward the glow of too many headlights and flashlights, he told himself the injury would be no more than a bullet to the leg. as if he could command it so.

the humvee jerked to a halt. the minute his feet hit the ground, he heard it. a moan. gurgle. the unmistakable sound of blood in the lungs.

not a simple shot to the leg.

he knew he spoke and others answered, was certain he said the right things because training always overrode in a crisis. the very reason they trained so hard. just as intellectually he knew how the hell this happened. training accidents occurred because training hard also kept them from losing more in battle.

and none of that meant shit to him as he stared down at the body of one of his men on a litter having his blood-soaked uniform cut away from a sucking chest wound. his men were closer to him than his own goddamned family.

the medic finished stabilizing the private for transfer to the battle aid station, two clicks behind them. a physician's assistant there would either treat him...or make the decision for more intense treatment.

drew stared down at the bloody mess of the concert t-shirt from a boy who had barely lived half as many years as he had. as they loaded the private into the cracker box army ambulance, the scent hit him. the smell of blood and war that a man never forgot. the smell of mortality.

chapter 14

the smell of freedom. it was so close yasmine could almost sense it even in her dank, stuffy closet. soon she would be out of rubistan and away from ammar.

so why wasn't she turning cartwheels in excitement? or sleeping away the hours with blissful dreams?

shuffling restlessly on her cot, she kicked the sleeping bag free, the quilted fabric too hot. of course, no cover proved too chilly. one more reason she couldn't drift off. the erratic schedules of these military people had her sleeping patterns all flipped, leaving her cranky, restless, with too many lonely hours to remember one kiss that should not have changed so much.

the true reason for her insomnia.

barren walls stared back at her, their monotony broken only by the hooks holding her drying underwear, daisy scarf and spare dress. soon she would have a closet of clothes again. she would be leaving shortly, they assured her. only a couple more days for the impending sandstorm to pass and apparently red tape would be snipped cleanly with the state department. she would be away from ammar's constant threat. except she would also be away from drew.

drew. rolling to her tummy, she punched her pillow, smoothed it, hugged it to her. she'd never met anyone like him. someone so strong who did not use strength to overpower those around him into submission. he took the time to be gentle.

she'd been out with boys at the university and sometimes on trips with her mother away from rubistan. she'd even flirted a bit on her graduation cruise, coming close a time or two to going further than a few kisses, curious as to what would make her mother leave her country and first family. what would cause other women to risk being publicly ostracized? or worse.

but she had always stopped short because her practical nature held her back from risking all for something that was simply...nice.

kissing drew cullen was way beyond nice.

he'd stirred more feeling with that one simple encounter than all of those boys combined. could it simply be his experience, his age?

maybe.

regardless, she suddenly understood why women risked everything. because right now, she would risk all to have more than just one kiss to remember drew cullen by.

a door slam jarred her back to the present. feet thumped, picked up pace, pounding down the hall. urgently, faster than the regular nocturnal activity of this never-sleeping group.

curious, she crossed to the door, peered outside left, smiled briefly at the poor guard stuck watching her. then looked right. monica double-timed toward her.

yasmine slid out into the corridor. "is something wrong?''

her sister slowed only briefly, tucking a wayward strand from her braid behind her ear. "nothing for you to worry about."

yasmine gripped her arm. "then why are you running?''

"work." monica pulled free and sprinted past.

a niggle of concern tickled. why would her sister, a doctor, be running? yasmine trailed monica and let the guard worry about keeping up. breathless, she caught her at the stairs. "since you don't have time, i will run alongside while you talk."

monica's exasperated sigh hissed through her teeth. "something went wrong on a training exercise."

"training accident? a flight?" the tickle turned to a painful pinch, but she kept pace.

"no. the army. a gunshot wound, one or two. there are too many damned stories coming through for me to get anything straight but that they need me at the medical transport before the ambulance brings in the wounded."

"will you have to leave?"

monica stopped, sighed. ill-disguised anger snapped from her eyes. "if it happens that someone is so mortally wounded that we have to fly out, i'll be sure to put in a good word for you to get a spare seat."

her sister's words smacked over her. "that's not what i meant."

"i'm sorry, then," she acquiesced, backing away. "but i don't have time to talk."

monica pivoted and jogged toward a door opening onto the parking ramp.

how long would she have to wait for answers?

not as long if she followed her sister. yasmine crossed, paused in the doorway, searching for a benign place to wait where security would not drag her back to her room. wind lifted her hair.