i looked at the clock, surprised to see that it was almost two in the morning, stretched and climbed off of luke. he stared up at me, asking if i was ready for bed. i nodded and we said our goodnights before heading up the stairs. i turned to look at allie and winked, then waggled my brows at her. she glared at me, well, tried to anyway, but her lips twitched and she winked back.

we got up early the next morning and i went over to jenna's house for a while since luke had a couple things to do at the stop. when i got there, noah and jarrod had gone out for a "men's day" and hayden was begging jenna to have a "grill's day" and let her give her a makeover. seeing the potential for mega laughs at my sister's expense, i joined in with hayden's cajoling and we cracked jenna in about five minutes.

we headed upstairs to jenna's en suite and plopped her down at the stool in front of her vanity. i played assistant to hayden, handing her items, but i drew the line at the curling iron. no way was i getting blamed for burn marks across the forehead! hayden used her little hands to basically tie jenna's hair in knots all over her head, and then proceeded to make jenna look like a whorish clown with makeup. she ended up with hot pink lipstick (who even uses that these days anyway?) surrounding her entire mouth, including her lips and teeth, lime green eyeshadow (jenna and i seriously needed to talk about her makeup bag) smeared across her eyelids and high into her eyebrows, and red stripes of blush decorating her cheeks.

hayden picked up jenna's eyeliner and pointed it toward her mother's face. jenna squeezed her eyes shut, bravely allowing her to attempt to put it on. i snickered behind my hand, earning me a glare from jenna, when hayden colored over her mom's eyes, then her forehead, like she was using a crayon.

she stood back with a flourish and nodded at her mom like she was an artist acknowledging her latest masterpiece. i grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket and snapped a few quick pics, trying not to laugh out loud at jenna's face when she looked in the mirror. i had to leave the room when jenna struggled to tell hayden that she made her mommy look very pretty but it was too fancy to wear around the house. she finally got the okay to wash her face off and hayden and i went downstairs while jenna cleaned herself up.

"aun' emmy?" hayden piped up in her little voice.

"yeah, baby doll?" i asked her, giving her a quick squeeze as she cuddled into my side on the couch.

"whas' a gorgamsm?"

"a what?" i asked her, not understanding what she said.

"a gorgamsm. i heared mommy talkin' bout it on the 'pone. whas' is it?"

"um, i'm not sure, honey. what did mommy say about it on the phone?" i asked, kinda scared about the answer i would get.

"hers said it was sumfing that my daddy gived her an' it was 'mazin' an' made her toes curled up. if i have a gorgamsm will my toes curled up, too?"

i choked, completely at a loss as to what to tell her, but thankfully jenna came down the stairs then. i quickly jumped up and told hayden that she should ask her mother about that one before i kissed her cheek, patted jenna's arm as i ran past, and bolted out the door.

i headed downtown to skin deep, intending to surprise luke. he was supposed to call me when he was done and on his way back home and i would meet him there, but i figured, what the hell? maybe we could leave together if he got done before brandon and i would just let him use my car to get home in.

i parked the car and headed inside. there was a young couple waiting in the lobby and i smiled at them as i walked past the counter and headed toward luke's studio. i froze in the open doorway as i surveyed the scene before me.

a colorfully tattooed and artfully pierced woman was leaning into luke's chest, her arms wrapped around his neck, and luke's hands were on her hips. she was a couple inches taller than me, her arms sleeved in bright colors, her eyebrow, lip, and nose pierced, and she was built like a wet dream. (well, what i imagined would make a man have a wet dream...what? its better than a brick shithouse!) she had long black hair, deep brown eyes, and she was gorgeous, exotic looking, and putting her lips on luke!

my stomach flipped and my heart thudded painfully in my chest as i spun on my heel and raced for the front of the shop. i ran into brandon as he was coming out from behind the counter and he grabbed my shoulders, frantically asking me what was wrong. i hadn't realized i was crying until he asked me why i was, but i didn't answer.

i wrenched myself away from him, running flat out for the door as i heard luke shout my name behind me. i threw myself into my car and tore out of the lot, trying to force myself to not look back, but i didn't listen. i saw luke run out into the street behind me in my rearview mirror, watching as he threw his arms up in the air and then hung his head before i jerked my eyes away from the mirror to try to concentrate on the road.

my cell phone began to ring in my purse on the seat beside me and i ignored it. without realizing it, i found myself in the parking lot of allie's shop. i wiped the tears away as best i could and walked inside.

i waved and shook my head at the girl ringing someone out at the counter when she stared at me in concern, opening her mouth to say something. i found allie in her office going through some boxes that someone had apparently brought in as a donation. she looked up at me in surprise, a smile beginning and quickly fading from her face as she took in my appearance.

i'm not a pretty crier, never have been. women in movies cry pretty, their faces don't get red, their noses don't run...why can't it be like that in real life? when i cry, my eyes swell and become bloodshot and demon red, my face turns splotchy, and my nose runs like a faucet. i can't hide it when i've been upset.

without a word, allie dropped what she was holding in her hands, walked over to me, and enfolded me in her arms, rocking me slightly from side to side. i buried my face in her shoulder, letting the tears fall uncontrollably for a few minutes before they subsided into hiccupping little sobs.

she pulled back from me, wiping my tears away with her thumbs before asking, "what happened, sugarbear? tell auntie allie..."

i gave her the short version of the story and without a beat she went out front and shut her store down for the day. i followed her to her house, still blinking away the tears, and ignoring my phone that had been ringing nonstop.

allie and i sat curled up on the couch together with huge portions of our special sundaes in our hands. she shook her head at me as if trying to understand and began asking questions again.

"so you walked in and saw her kiss luke?"

i nodded pathetically, taking a big bite of ice cream and wine cooler even though i felt like getting sick. "she had her arms all around his neck and everything and his hands were on her hips."

"emma, maybe it wasn't what it looked like?" she said hesitantly.

i shook my head and glared at her. "no, it was exactly what it looked like! i trusted him, allie! i let him get under my skin after i even told him i didn't think it was a good idea. i...i told him i loved him, allie. he told me that he was different, that he wanted me, that i was his. but i'm stupid. i knew better! i knew that i'd end up getting hurt. he's just like douche bag brad!"

"what did he say when you told him you loved him?" allie asked me.