i stayed where i was, the knife wavering slightly in my trembling hand. i forced myself to study his face, memorizing every inch of it, forcing myself to think...where had i seen him before?

i straightened a bit as it hit me, my hand steadying as i still held the knife up. "john frank."

"oh, ho ho! look who finally figured it out! what do we have for her, johnny?" john yelled.

"why, john? you were a client of floyd's, he helped you out! i helped you!" my voice rose with every word and i fought to calm myself, not wanting to set him off. out of the corner of my eye i saw a cell phone lying on the microwave stand not five feet from me. god, if only i could get to it...

"you were so nice to me, emma. you know, i'd just lost my mom and my brother to that fucking car accident. i didn't know what to do. i called every attorney in the book almost, trying to find someone who would give me the time of day to help me out. everyone...all them bitches...just pushed me to the side, take a message, take a message, blah blah blah...but you were nice. you explained things to me."

i nodded, saying, "well, that's what i'm there for, john. you came in and we started the process, didn't we? getting everything probated and working on the personal injury side of things from the accident? you remember, right?" i tried to keep my voice steady and my breath caught as he closed his eyes for a second.

i took that time to silently step to the side, closer to the microwave stand where the cell phone was. i stopped again as his eyes opened.

"you did. you helped me, you made me feel special." his eyes flashed and his face hardened again. "but i was just another fucking job to you. i asked you out after everything and you laughed at me. laughed!"

i winced and tried to calm him down again. "no, john, i didn't laugh at you. i smiled at you. smiled...remember?"

he shook his head but i could see that he was confused. "no, you laughed. you told me that you wouldn't go out with me and i wanted you. no, i fuckin' needed you! i didn't have anyone else and once you were done and everything was settled, you chalked me up and moved on to the next. we had something special, you dirty, fucking bitch!" he was screaming now, bouncing on the balls of his feet, and i could read the intent in his eyes just as he lunged toward me.

i moved quickly, jumping to the side and swiping the cell phone from the stand with one hand as i blindly struck out with the knife in the other. i screamed as my arm was caught in a vice grip, fingers digging painfully into the pressure points in my wrist until my fingers went lax, releasing the knife to clatter to the floor. i don't know how but i managed to hold on to the phone and keep it tucked out of view as he backhanded me across the face again. i felt my skin split on my cheekbone, and then my mouth filled with blood as he hit me again, my teeth tearing into the tender inside of my cheek and lips.

the second blow spun me around and knocked me down to the floor. i saw him bend down to grab me again and kicked out with my foot, grinning maniacally as my heel connected with his nose, a spray of hot blood splattering my face. while he was dazed, i shoved my hand under the microwave stand with the cell phone in it, thanking god that it was an old flip phone with actual buttons to push. i started yelling, trying to cover up any sounds the phone might make while i blindly felt for the correct buttons to push, praying that my fingers found 911.

i felt john's hand slam down on my thigh, tightening as he tried to pull me to him as he knelt on the floor where he'd dropped. i rolled, scrambling for purchase on the tile floor and finding none, but i managed to get my face close enough to see under the stand where the phone screen was lit up with 911. i hit send and let the phone go, leaving it hidden beneath.

i felt strangely disconnected from myself during the rest of the ordeal. like i was watching myself, not in my body; i'd retreated to a safe place inside myself where i couldn't feel the blows raining down on me.

i watched, dazed, as my mouth opened and i screamed the monster's name over and over and over again, screaming and sobbing and begging all the while, but i was doing it in a calculative way. i knew that the dispatcher would be listening. i knew she'd begin tracing the number, looking up the name that i was sobbing and screaming.

just as i knew that she would run to the bathroom and puke her guts up, crying into the toilet at the horrendous things she had heard afterward.

facts of life. you know, like one and one is two. the sky is blue. a can of camouflage spray paint has only one color in it, so its not really camouflage. the camouflage only comes together when you have one can of each color of camouflage paint. dogs have fur. the dispatcher puking and crying was one, too. that's how i knew she would.

what i didn't know, though, was how i was going to survive what was happening to my body so far below me. the monster was on top of me, beating me with his fists and ripping my clothes away. he wanted to rape me, but i'd effectively made sure that wouldn't happen when i maimed him in the basement. his fury exploded and i watched in horrified numbness as he grabbed the knife i'd dropped on the floor and impaled my side, the blade sliding through my flesh and lodging in the floor beneath me, while his other hand circled my throat and pressed down.

i watched as my blood pooled beneath me and began to spread, making macabre designs on the tile. i watched as i floated...away...and the darkness swallowed me down.

chapter 24

a steady beeping was the first thing to break into my consciousness. i heard it faintly, a constant sound in my ear before the darkness claimed me again. then, low voices...voices that sounded vaguely familiar...pulled me up from the depths, and i struggled to get to the surface, to see who they were, but pain washed over me and i let the darkness pull me back down. it was safe there. nothing hurt there.

"emma? sugar, its time to get up. you've been out long enough. come back to me now. emma!"

the voice was deep, rich...sensual. and so damn familiar it made my heart ache. i forced myself through the fuzziness, blinking my eyes slowly. the room was mostly dark, a dim light casting a glow across the face of the man sitting beside my bed, his head resting on the mattress beside me. god, he was so beautiful, even looking like he hadn't shaved for a month, let alone slept.

i tried to speak, but couldn't force any words past my lips. a small gasp did come out and that was enough. luke's head jerked up, his eyes going wide.

"oh, god...you're awake! emma! baby, i love you, hang on...i gotta get someone-" he jumped up and ran for the door, throwing it open and yelling, "she's awake!" before running back to me, kneeling at the side of my bed.

i looked around for a minute, taking in the hospital room around me. i was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and foreign looking machines. an iv was slowly dripping fluid into my arm, and i figured that was the only reason i wasn't screaming in pain. luke shifted, bringing my gaze back to him.

he was watching my face, his eyes shining with so much love and excitement and...pain. he sat back as a nurse dressed in cheery looking scrubs bustled in, a woman in a white lab coat hot on her heels. they stopped on either side of my bed, checking machines, smiling, and talking a mile a minute.

"emma? i'm dr. hart and this is your nurse, sarah. you've been in a coma for two weeks and we've been trying to get you back. don't try to talk, because you're throat has had some trauma and is still pretty bruised. are you in any pain?"