Reckless Magic (Star-Crossed #1)

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i closed my eyes tighter and concentrated. i could not clear my mind, because then i would lose focus. i allowed it to be full of everything i could think of in order to practice for day to day activities. closing my mind to outside forces must be natural to me or i would never survive another day at kingsley. a small blush rushed to my cheeks as i thought about all of the days before and how open my mind had been to everyone else.

i allowed the magic to build inside of me, feeling as natural as breathing. now that i knew the magic was a natural part of me i no longer felt the need to oppress it. i finally understood that when i would push it down before i would only make things more difficult for myself; i was not human, i could no longer act like it.

i felt amory's magic prying the outside of my mind. it was as if someone was trying to cover my head with a heavy blanket. slowly he worked his magic around my mind, trying to slip under or through any way that he could; but the longer i kept him away the easier it became. my magic grew stronger and i stood up straighter. the force field i had built around my thoughts became fortified and i relaxed, this was becoming natural.

i glanced at the clock, careful to maintain my defenses, 3:oo am. we had been working on this for hours and finally i was getting the hang of it. i felt amory pull his magic back and i looked over to see that he was finally wearing a smile. after hours of disappointment i was thankful i could finally come through.

"good eden. that was excellent!" he clasped his hands together. "do you think you can keep that up at school?" his smile faded and his expression became worried.

"yes, i think so. it's getting easier," i smiled reassuringly.

"i would not risk it if i didn't think your absence would cause suspicion. everyone is going to be asking questions and we can't afford one mistake. it's bad enough your only friend at school was a shape-shifter, but then to display your powers in such a way as to make the crown prince look weak is an entirely different matter," he wrung his clasped hands together and began to pace. i didn't exactly understand what he was talking about, but i did trust him.

i watched him silently, realizing how similar we looked. he had the same oversized onyx eyes that i did and a tall frame topped with almost black, wavy hair. i went over the story he told me once again in my mind: my parents died when i was a baby and aunt syl found me while she was on a hike in the woods; i had been raised as a human until now when by accident i discovered i had powers. as vague as the story was and maybe a little farfetched, it was the only one i had.

"there is one more thing i would like to try with you. it will require your full concentration, and it will not be easy," amory stopped pacing and looked at me full in the face.

"it can't wait? i'm exhausted," i yawned in reply and sat down lazily on the edge of my full-sized bed.

"no it cannot," amory snapped. "do you realize what is at stake here? there is no time for sleep; you must master your magic as quickly as possible. now stand up and focus."

i obeyed, feeling a little like a zombie. i stood to my feet, the magic moving with me. it was almost as if i could feel my very blood circulating throughout my body. the magic moved with it, pumping from my toes to my heart to my head and back down.

"now build your shield again," amory continued. i threw my force-field around my mind and realized how easy it was becoming. "i want you to hold on to your own mind-defense while trying to read mine. let your magic leave you slowly searching for my thoughts. concentrate on me, on being me, on what you want to know," he stood still, focusing on a framed picture of aunt syl. i realized that he had built his defense and was waiting.

"i thought only psychics could read minds? aren't i a witch?" it was late. i was tired. i felt like i couldn't keep my thoughts together.

"yes, you are a witch, but after what happened last night, i just want to see exactly what you are capable of. there have been witches in the past that have been able to read minds and i would like to see if you are one of them," principal saint explained. i was too tired to argue.

i did as he said, thinking first of my magic, bringing it into my mind and creating a heady feeling. i swayed slightly, feeling a tad bit drunk, and tried to refocus. i concentrated on amory moving my invisible and silent magic to the place where i imagined his mind to be.

i closed my eyes and focused harder. suddenly it was as if my magic ran into a brick wall. with my mind, i moved it from side to side and up and down. i at least had found his mind; not that that was hard, a mind was where most people imagined it to be: in the head. i worked to penetrate it, to slide underneath his defenses but nothing seemed to work.

i formed the information i wanted to know as a single strain of thought, sending it through my invisible stream of magic using it as extra force against the wall amory had created. i probed and probed, finding myself tiring from the exertion.

"don't give up now eden, work harder," he commanded, and i realized why he was the principal of a high school. yikes.

again, i did as he said. i stood up straighter, focusing my body as well as my mind. there had to be a loophole here. if there was a way to pierce his force-field it wasn't going to be from straight on. i continued to search what felt like a square energy field. i moved my magic, like fingers brushing themselves over a smooth surface, until i finally found it; a small, but real opening where his energy field met at a corner.

the hole was tiny, almost miniscule and i was not surprised i had brushed over it so many times before. as i was investigating the catch, amory realized what i had found. quicker than i could react, it was gone.

i searched again, with renewed vitality. now that i knew what i was looking for, i began to find more and more of them. they felt like little rips in my magic, almost like getting a small splinter caught in smooth silk. the more i searched for them, the clearer they became, but whenever i went back to one amory had already covered it.

i realized i must give up thinking and let my magic take control. i blanketed his mind with my magic, allowing it to completely envelope. this took more energy than i thought it would and i found myself out of breath.

from what i could sense, there were three separate, small openings, but if i hesitated they would be gone. all at once i let my magic infiltrate them, forcing my way into his mind and revealing all of his thoughts. as quickly as i could, i searched for the one thought i wanted to know most: what my mother and father looked like. i flicked through his mind like a flip-file, searching through all of his past memories.

being in someone else's mind was almost overwhelming; it was like i had become him. his thoughts and my thoughts were one and the same. i kept my mind protected, but his was completely revealed. i found myself embarrassed as i not only thought his thoughts but felt his emotions. i refused to stop however, until i found what i was looking for.

i searched and searched, realizing that although i had surpassed his force-field, he was still capable of hiding things from me. suddenly i saw a small glimmer of what i wanted, a long dark haired woman. the image was ripped away from me before i could make it out clearly and my searching became a game of tag.

the minute i found the image i was looking for, another menial image was thrown up in its place. i got tired of fishing trips and old books; i was almost hungry for the image of my mother. i flipped through his memories quicker and quicker, as if i was watching his entire life on fast forward. i felt him growing weaker.

and as he grew weaker, so did i, until i nearly collapsed. a deep longing sensation welled up within me and i couldn't tell if it was from amory or if it was from me. i remembered who i was searching for and began again with new vigor.

suddenly they were before me: my mother and my father. although nothing had been said out loud, the very fibers of my being told me who they were. my mother was the most beautiful woman i had ever seen. she was strongly built, but had a tiny frame. her eyes were the same eyes that i had, deep coals that were almost too big for her perfect, porcelain face. plump, bright red lips were turned into a smile as she looked at my father with overwhelming affection. her dark hair fell in long waves down to her waist and covered her pale figure, making the memory appear to be in black and white.

i tore my thoughts away from my mother to look at my father who was looking back at her with such a loving expression that i began to cry. he was tall and strong; his very being defined the word "immortal." he too had dark hair, but it was much curlier and cropped close to his head. his skin was darker than my mother's; it had the same olive tone that talbott had. his lips were pronounced on his face, but stretched in the form of a smile. a long, angular nose sat underneath the greenest eyes i had ever seen. as he gazed at my mother they glimmered like emeralds.

i examined the scene they were in; they stood gazing at each other in the middle of a crowded room. my mother was placed next to a man at first i assumed to be kiran; the same dirty blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. but on longer examination i realized that he was older, taller and meaner looking. the man wore an embellished gold crown upon his head and draped his arm around my mother protectively. my father stood on the other side of him, tense as if ready to attack at any moment. although the blonde man was speaking, my mother and father stared intently at each other as if he did not exist at all.

suddenly i was ripped away from them. i reached out with my hands as if i could grab on to that memory and hold it close to me. after it was gone i felt lost; i fell to my bed sobbing. the strength i used to enter amory's mind was gone and i felt weak and somehow exposed.

"very good, eden," amory whispered in a hoarse voice. i heard the emotion in his voice, and i wanted to apologize, but all i could do was sob.

the parents i never knew i had, the parents i never thought about were suddenly in front of me. every molecule i was made of hurt from the exertion of so much power; every emotion in my soul completely exhausted. i unexpectedly felt such a longing for something i had never known, i did not know if i would ever recover.

"it's normal to feel this way. you accomplished something just now that only the most skilled of us all could hope to do." i looked up at him, tears streaming down my face, in confusion. "what you did just now is called complete-mind-manipulation. i did not ask you to do that. i asked you to read my thoughts. that is much simpler and requires not near the effort. reading peoples thoughts is more like reading a newspaper headline, you literally read their thoughts with your magic; there are no images involved. i will not ask you to try it right now, but tomorrow at school i think you should practice on some of your classmates. reading thoughts does not make the other person aware of what you are doing, most people are sending out their thoughts in one way or another, you are simply catching them. what you did was entering my mind and becoming united with it. you were able to not only know what i was thinking, but what i have ever thought. you saw everything i have ever seen and felt every emotion i have ever felt. this is a very invasive process and rarely accomplished without the permission of the other person. everything that you feel now, is multiplied by a hundred in me. most immortals find it difficult to recover from the process; but thankfully for us tonight i have undergone this process before," his voice cracked and i realized how weak he suddenly was. amory was slumped over in his chair, resting his head in his hands, staring down at the floor.