"kiran," i sighed again, wrapping my arms around his strong neck and inhaling his scent.

"mmm.... say it again," he whispered hoarsely into my ear.

"say what again?" i asked, confused for the moment.

"my name," he pulled away slightly so he could look me in the eyes. "i love your accent; say my name again," then he smirked at me with his signature smile and i fell in love with him all over.

"you love my accent?" i giggled, realizing for the first time that i sounded different to him too. "i love your accent." i stated plainly, as if my point was more valid.

"and i love you," kiran stared deep into my eyes, allowing me to feel the muddled version of both, relaying to me the intensity behind them.

"i love you, too," i said, out of breath.

suddenly our mouths connected again, a firework of adoration that exploded into our mingled magic in a light show of frenetic energy. he kissed me fervently as if to take all of my soul in this one embrace. i let him, without hesitation. i couldn't stop him if i wanted to. our two spirits intertwined like a complex puzzle, forever joined, unable to distinguish the beginning from the end. and at that moment it didn't matter how my life was being torn apart or all of the obstacles we had to face to be together. we had each other. and that was all we needed.

eventually, the kissing slowed down and i leaned back against the grass to catch my breath. i smiled up at kiran, believing that everything would work out. it had to.

"are you all right?" he asked, sliding onto his side next to me. he propped his head up with one hand and rested his other on my stomach. his hand was hot through my tank top; i did my best to focus on everything but that hand.

"now i am," i said quietly, not wanting to relive the gory details of the day.

"i hate all this," kiran said sadly, tracing his fingers around the wrinkles of my shirt.

"ugh. me too," i admitted. "can't we just stay here forever?" i looked around at the perfect backdrop of the forest, the sky alight with stars and buzzing with fireflies, and i couldn't imagine leaving this to go back to the awfulness of my everyday life.

"we could," kiran smirked and then buried his face in my neck. "but that probably wouldn't be very safe for the rest of you. and i like the rest of you," he laughed in the depths of my hair.

"the rest of me?" i asked, missing the joke.

"yes, you know, your sleeping body, the one in the real world," he lifted his head up to kiss me sweetly on the mouth and then the corner of the mouth and then my neck again. he was very distracting.

"oh, right. that one," i realized he was right. "someone would find it, and kill it and all that."

"yes, i suppose so," kiran stopped kissing me to give me the intensity of his aqua eyes.

"like sebastian's guards, or your dad or even seraphina? actually.... probably seraphina," i grumbled.

"no. not like them," kiran replied sternly, like i offended him. "but somebody."

"you really think sebastian had nothing to do with that attack?" i couldn't believe he was serious.

"eden, sebastian is my cousin, and one of my closest friends since birth; he would not lie to me." kiran sat up, resting his long arms on his bent knees and looking out into the dense greenery.

"i hope for your sake, you're right," i sat up too, the intimate moment ruined.

"my sake? is that a threat?" he asked mockingly.

"a threat? what? no. i meant.... never mind what i meant. why are you fighting with me?" i demanded. there was no salvaging this day.

"you're fighting with me," kiran looked at me with a serious face, but cracked a smile despite himself. i couldn't help myself but smile back.

he opened his arm for me to snuggle up to him and i obeyed. there wasn't the warmth there was before in his arms. the perfection of his presence had disappeared but this was better than fighting.

"i'm just stressed," i mumbled, trying to excuse my testy behavior.

"me too," he sighed and then kissed the top of my head, leaving his lips there for a few moments, holding me close to him.

"well, then let's call it a night. i should probably, like actually sleep anyway," i looked up at him, trying my best to give a reassuring smile, but even i was unconvinced.

he didn't say anything, but he did give me a sweet, short kiss on the lips before our dream walk was over, and i was awake in my own bed surrounded by my pillows and buried deep beneath the folds of my thick comforter.

i wanted to just fall back to sleep, to forget the day and forget the way i left things with kiran. but i couldn't. even the refuge of sleep, that i usually used to drown out the difficulties of life, escaped me.

i lay there, staring at the ceiling till the birds were awake and the sun was streaming through my window. there was too much on my mind and too much to think about. i didn't know how one person could handle it all. everything.... school, immortality, the resistance, kiran, everything seemed so.... hopeless.

chapter fifteen

"eden, why don't you put out more of those cucumber sandwich thingies and i'll find a place for the silverware," aunt syl instructed carefully, while fretting over her elaborate but catered spread. she pulled a pony tail holder off of her unseasonably tanned wrist and wrapped up her bleached blonde hair on the top of her head, the way she wore it when preparing for surgery.

i obeyed, but thought it unnecessary, unless we were hosting every single immortal, living and dead.

in an effort to make me feel more comfortable, aunt syl suggested to amory that she host the india logistical meeting at our house. that way i wouldn't be so overwhelmed by everyone at the farm, and things would still get done without my stubborn refusal to participate.

it was a sweet gesture, but part of me still wanted to just live in denial that india wasn't actually going to happen. even though my departure date had been set for december first and i had been working with avalon for the past week trying to push most of my magic his way, so i could disguise what would surely give me away to lucan.

nothing we were able to come up with so far had really worked. all of the other times our magical transference, as amory called it, worked so seamlessly was when we were under extreme pressure. when it was just the two of us, it felt more like pushing avalon out than giving him something that was mine. when there was nothing forcing us to work together, our magics were very clearly defined between the two of us.

we had also been working on finding the brazil team's magic together, but were having even less luck with that. we could both find the stolen magic, but neither one of us could differentiate between the individual magic that wasn't ours, especially with beckton's magic now in the mix. and so far, we had been even more unsuccessful at bringing our two stolen entities together.

everything seemed hopeless. i hadn't been alone with kiran since our disastrous dream walk and the only communication i had with him was to assure me he was still on for thanksgiving in a few days.

even my thanksgiving dinner seemed silly now, with india hanging over my head and my life falling to ruins around me. but i made myself hold on to it. i loved the idea of doing something so completely non-immortal that other immortals didn't even understand the idea. and i loved the idea of doing something for just me even more. i wasn't going to give it up no matter how ridiculous the idea was.

the doorbell rang and i heard avalon's noisy descent down the stairs to open the door. he had been a ball of energy all day in anticipation for his precious resistance members coming over. avalon hadn't left my side since the last attack on me and since i barely left the house, we had both pretty much confined ourselves to house arrest. jericho was around too, but we had separately decided avoiding each other would probably be best.

well, i decided that. and since he made absolutely no attempts at any kind of interaction with me, i just assumed he decided that as well. it was irritating though. i liked jericho. i liked talking to him and hanging out with him, and he was always open with me, giving me more answers than anyone else. i was frustrated that he had to let his feelings get in the way of our friendship. he should have known better.

i wandered into the living room, curious to find out who arrived first. avalon and jericho were both crowding whoever was here around the door, barely letting them inside. i couldn't make out who it was because the two boys towered over them, but then i saw it. a flash of red, chest high of the guys and i closed the distance to the door in seconds.

i pushed through the boys, not caring if i hurt them, or just irritated them. lilly was here. lilly was finally better. i threw my arms around her, hugging her so tightly i nearly knocked us over. my cheeks were wet with tears before i even knew to stop them and i couldn't help but feel like things would get better now. they had to. lilly was finally better.

suddenly i had a million questions for her. i released my hold and did my best to brush the tears away quickly, feeling sappy and over emotional. she reached out for my hands, tears staining her porcelain cheeks, her bee-stung lips swelling with emotion as well. i felt joyously vindicated.

"oh, thank god," i sighed, bringing her into another hug. "i'm so glad you're here."

"i'm so glad to be here," she said excitedly.

the doorbell rang again and i pulled her into the kitchen, letting the boys answer the door for the remaining guests.

"so you're better?" i looked her over quickly, trying to find signs of distress or pain. she looked beautiful as always, maybe even more so. her hair was just as red as ever in tight ringlets, framing her face. her skin was perfect and pale; her manner was just as sweet as i remembered. but there was more to her now, almost like she was glowing; her eyes were brighter and her smile bigger. she was breath-taking and with her beauty came an almost gravitational pull to her and a desire to possess whatever it was that made her shine so.

"yes, finally, i'm fine," she sighed, taking a seat at a bar stool with shaking hands. i realized she might not be completely healed yet.

"i have missed you so much," i said seriously, taking the seat next to her. "ok, let's see it." i gestured towards her neck.

she rolled her eyes, embarrassed, but moved her hair out of the way and touched her pointer finger to the spot just below her earlobe. a small serpent glowed a vibrant violet and i watched her cheeks blush with pride.

"pretty cool," i smiled, just as proud of it as she was. she had gone through something extraordinary and she had the courage to decide what she wanted to do with her life. i knew she had feelings for talbott at one point and maybe still did, but she didn't let those get in the way of her decision. she was a much better person than i would ever be.

"eden, i'm so sorry i haven't been here for all of..." she began, and the tears were resurfacing in her eyes.

i cut her off with a rapid shaking of my hands. tears were stinging my eyes again, too and i couldn't let her feel responsible for the mess my life was. "don't!" i demanded. "don't feel bad," i cleared my throat of the emotion threatening to overtake me. she nodded, but the tears were even more prominent in her emerald green eyes.

"ladies, would you join us in the living room?" amory was standing in the doorway, separating the two rooms, smiling at us graciously. i looked up at him and noticed even he was emotional. i couldn't be sure how long he was standing there, but all of these crying people were making it impossible for me to find my composure.