Fearless Magic (Star-Crossed #3)

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"eden, i don't know what you're planning, but if your plans include rescuing your brother then you are going to have to do it sooner rather than later." sebastian was so serious that i wanted to believe he actually cared about avalon. i wanted to believe him, but i couldn't even entertain the idea.

"thanks for the advice," i spat, venomously.

"you're welcome," he countered. "and another thing, if you want to get to kiran, now is the time. he's practically dead already, and if you want responsibility for the death of the monarchy then you shouldn't hesitate."

"is there anything else, sebastian? how about the king? how would you suggest we go about murdering him?" i was fed up with his attitude, how dare he come into my safe-house and order me around.

"i have several thoughts on that, if you're really interested, actually," he mumbled, looking out the window at the moonlit-bathed street. "also, your neck is glowing."

i tugged at my hair angrily, pulling it over my shoulder, and combing it with my fingers to cover up the small serpentine tattoo. "what are you doing? what kind of game are you playing here?" i demanded, finally unable to keep up the charade of taking his advice seriously.

"i'm trying to help you," he hissed, as if it were obvious.

"ok, let's be real here. sebastian, you don't have to pretend anymore, you're our prisoner, i'm going to probably kill you either way, so it's not necessary for you to lie to me anymore." i was over playing games with these people, my new policy was upfront honesty and i was bound and determined to expect it from everybody.

"i understand that we are not playing games, eden. look at me! do i look like i'm playing games anymore?" he snarled, his voice raised and his sunken eyes hard.

"then, what is this? why are you trying to help me?" i wanted to believe him, i wanted to listen to his advice. he possessed intricate knowledge of the palaces and where the royal family would be. i couldn't, though. i couldn't, in good conscience, remember how he was used against my family and me and believe him now. his loyalty remained with his uncle and cousin.

"i can't do this any longer, i can't.... listen, i'm not sure what is good and what is evil anymore. i thought lucan had my best interest in mind, but now.... now, i'm not so sure," he finished quietly, the hard edge in his voice dominating every sentence.

"so, at kingsley, i mean, in omaha, they sent you.... to spy on me?" i asked, not as boldly as i would have liked, but those memories were still agonizing.

"no, they didn't send me to spy on you. they sent me there to watch you and spy on kiran. lucan had his mind made up about you the moment he laid eyes on you, the minute you walked into that romanian courtroom. i was there for kiran, to find out how deeply his feelings for you really were. i think you know what i discovered."

"that he was a lying, manipulating bastard?" i grumbled, barely able to stomach a conversation about him.

"hardly," sebastian snorted.

"are you kidding me? don't defend the cousin that got you into this mess," i accused, raising my eyebrows at his pathetic loyalties.

"no, eden, let's not fool ourselves. you're the one who took my magic. you and you alone. i cannot even pretend that it was my cousin, just like i cannot pretend that lucan didn't know something like this would happen to me. i can't quibble in the gray areas of this life you live, i'm going to be honest with you and i expect you to be honest with me as well."

"all right, fine, that's what i'm trying to do," i admitted reluctantly, but exasperatedly. "i took your magic, but you forced my hand. you were on the wrong side of that argument. you still are."

"i can agree to that," he replied. "but be honest with yourself; kiran thought he was doing what was best for you."

"be honest with myself? i am being honest with myself. he should have known better! how is destroying my entire family, helping me? he took everything from me. do i need to remind you of what happened that night?" i growled, knowing full well if sebastian wanted me to recount the details of the night, i couldn't.

"i clearly remember what happened that night. but don't fool yourself; whatever the faults of his plan were, kiran did what he did for you. and now he is dying, wishing he would have done things differently, but dying all the same," sebastian explained icily.

"enough. i don't want to hear about kiran; if you have something to say that i need to hear, then say it. otherwise go back downstairs so i can get some sleep," i whispered fiercely, i was tired of talking in circles with sebastian and the memories of his cousin opened a wound in my heart that hemorrhaged inside of me.

"he is in england, in the london palace should you want to have a deeper discussion on ending the monarchy. at some point eden, you must come to terms with taking a life. if you want to finish what you've started, then stop dancing around the issue and arrive at the conclusion that murder is inevitable," sebastian insisted softly as if regretting every word he said, but knowing they were necessary. when i didn't say anything, he continued, "i expect you are searching for your parents?"

"no, they are on their own mission. at some point it will be necessary for us to meet, but as of right now, i have other things to do." i wondered why i was discussing my plans with sebastian, but i wasn't able to stop the words from falling out of my mouth.

"all right, i can live with that. what is your plan for romania though? how do you intend on rescuing your brother?" sebastian asked, calmly. he sat up straighter and crossed one of his legs over the other as if he were the important adviser i had called for.

"sebastian, do you really expect me to discuss our plans with you?" i jeered, half appalled, half amused.

"no, i guess not," he sighed, running his fingers through his chestnut colored hair. "there is a wedding date set," he continued, looking back to the window. "if he doesn't die beforehand, they will be wed the first of may."

"of course, lucan will want a living, healthy heir," i let the conversation happen, forcing myself to believe this was important information that could further my cause.

"yes, of course he does, but the engagement, the wedding, all of it was kiran's idea," sebastian explained, and for some reason his words felt like punches in the stomach.

"well, good for him," i remarked forcefully, demanding that the words come out of my mouth and that they sound sincere.

"he went to seraphina that same night, and took her back to london with him." he spoke slowly and calculatedly, each word feeling like a new and painful kind of torture against my heart.

"why are you doing this sebastian? what is it that you want to say?" i demanded, my voice breaking and my spirit not able to hold his words any longer.

"it should have been you, eden. you should be the one waiting for a wedding.... you should be the one by his bedside. you could have changed everything as queen, and you could have done it peacefully. but now, you have broken the best man i have ever known and started the beginnings of a civil war that will kill more immortal's than help them. how dare you be so selfish," his words were poison and i sat back against the headboard as if he slapped me.

"how dare you! how dare you be so.... be so.... wrong!" i half shouted at him, "lucan has his precious immortality, i would never have been queen. and don't think for one minute that he was going to let me marry his son and peacefully change his kingdom. his one goal has been to destroy my family from the start and he is nearly there."

"you can say that about lucan, but what about kiran!" he stood up from his chair, staring down at me contemptuously. the sky outside of the window had started to lighten; soft beams of light crossed his face, darkening the shadows under his eyes. "kiran would have helped you destroy his father, he would have helped you change the kingdom, he would have done anything for you."

"no," i countered, "he would have done anything for himself and for his own selfish gain. i was merely a catalyst for his immortality. nothing more," i relaxed into my pillows, realizing that i was right. as disgusting as sebastian's argument was, it was the same one i was having with myself. talking through it aloud with sebastian, helped me remember what i needed to do.

"and yet, you still love him," sebastian said softly, sinking weakly back into the chair.

"maybe," i couldn't argue that point if i truly wanted to. "but soon, i will love only a memory of the king that never was."

"how can you say-" sebastian started, as my bedroom door thrust open.

xavier and jericho came flying through the door, but stopped short finding sebastian sitting in the corner of my room. i clung to the covers even tighter, pulling them close to my neck and cursing myself for not throwing at least a t-shirt on before bed.

"oh, ok, just you know, making sure everything is ok," xavier gave a lighthearted thumbs up while panting heavily.

jericho slapped him on the back of the head before turning to me, "eden, are you all right?"

"yes," i sighed, "except that i am never going to get a good night's sleep again, so i don't even know why i try!" i shrieked, letting my face fall into the folds of the blankets.

"well, you can sleep on the plane, we need to go.... now!" jericho demanded when neither sebastian, nor i moved.

"why?" i asked, my blood flaring with electricity.

"the titans are on the move, apparently they didn't take sebastian very seriously," xavier said sarcastically, almost laughingly. "what?" he asked defensively after jericho shot him a warning look. "fine, i'll go tell the others," his head dropped and he sulked out of the room, more offended that no one found him funny than of getting kicked out.

"we really need to get going," jericho pleaded with his eyes for me to move, but i was too embarrassed to explain my clothing situation. "we need to get out of here and decide what our next step is."

"i've already decided that," i answered confidently. sebastian stood up slowly, and walked to the corner of my bed. jericho mimicked his movement and stood on the other side of the bed, watching him carefully. "xavier and titus will go track down the other teams, and gabriel, xander, you and i will take our good friend sebastian here across the channel and to the london palace. we are too close to ignore how sick kiran is right now. sebastian's right, if we want to strike, now's the time."

"sebastian's right? about what?" jericho hollered, turning on our prisoner with disdain.

"that your bloody target is on his death bed and if you want to take credit for his death, then you need to get to him now. otherwise, lucan will explain his death away as just another victim of the king's curse and the kingdom will accept it and believe it's more reason for his father to maintain his tyranny," sebastian answered plainly, his english accent clicking crisply with every consonant.

"but we still need to get to the other teams as quickly as possible. i think we can get away with just sending titus and xavier, don't you?" i held jericho's attention, hoping by including him in the decision making process he would feel more in control and ignore the advice i was taking from sebastian.