the challenge that derek placed upon me when we last spoke of the cure weighed heavily on my shoulders. he was prophesied to be the man who would bring the vampires to "true sanctuary." i, on the other hand, was believed to be the woman who would help him do it.

i believed with all my heart that the cure was "true sanctuary." derek had already lost hope that the cure could even be possible. his words still rang in my ear.

"don't ask me what true sanctuary is, sofia. i fought for it for an entire century, practically gave up my soul for it. i thought i already got sanctuary after establishing the shade only to find out that i didn't... i just don't understand the prophecy. what i do know is that war is brewing. that's what's going to happen."

"so that's just it? more bloodshed?"

"did you think there was ever any other way?"

eli and corrine were supposed to help me discover if a cure could even be possible. our meeting proved fruitless, with eli and corrine scouring what resources they had to find any indication of the possibility of a cure and the existence of immunes like me. immunes were humans who couldn't be turned to vampires - for reasons no one knew about. in the shade, we suspected that aside from me, there was one other immune. anna.

i made a mental note to speak with ian and kyle about her. recently, it seemed the two men had placed it upon themselves to look after the young woman's well-being. hence the reason behind the tension that always seemed to exist between them.

the cure was still on my mind, right along with everything else going on in the shade. when lunchtime neared, i found myself returning to the catacombs to have my midday meal. over the past days, i found myself looking forward to this time, a time i got to spend with rosa and ashley.

rosa and ashley were abducted and taken to the shade the same time i was. along with two other girls, gwen and paige, who had met their demise on the island. we were given to derek as a part of his harem. he had just woken up from a four-hundred-year sleep and we were placed under his care. because of this history, we managed to form a strong bond with one another.

"i am so exhausted," ashley complained, as she leaned back in her seat and laid down her glass of animal blood. "derek has been putting us through hell in military training." she shot me a look. "can you talk him into being a bit more lax? every bone in my body hurts."

i grinned. "i am not going to interfere with that," i said, throwing my hands in the air in surrender.

"what good is it that the ruler of this island is in love with you, if you don't use your connection to him to help your friends out?" ashley frowned.

i rolled my eyes at her and, deciding to ignore her, directed my attention toward the more soft-spoken rosa. "what have you been busy with today, rosa?"

"the usual." she shrugged. "lily and i have been busy going about our rounds here at the catacombs. we really need to do something about those who are sick, sofia. also, there are a lot of orphans who need care. isn't it about time that we get both a hospital and an orphanage here in the shade?"

"that is something we ought to mention at the general assembly," i said. i wasn't blind to all that had to be done at the catacombs, but everything was taking a backseat due to the incoming war. thinking about all of it at once just felt overwhelming. "gavin, ian and kyle are working it out right now."

"kyle?" ashley narrowed her eye at me. kyle was the one who turned her into a vampire, so technically, she was part of his clan. "why kyle? isn't he supposed to be involved with preparing for the war?"

"derek allowed him to focus on the humans upon his request," i explained.

ashley scowled, seemingly not pleased with the reason behind his request. "looks like he's deeply enamored with anna..."

"you have a problem with that?" i asked, surprised.

"i don't know," she admitted with a shrug. "i guess i have to support whatever makes kyle happy, but anna... i don't know. she's kind of messed up."

i was hurt by that. i knew that ashley had every right and reason to give the comment, considering how anna had lost her mind from trauma and acted like a blubbering child, but my heart went out to the girl. perhaps i held anna close to my heart, because she was the only other immune i knew. i didn't have to go into that with ashley though. for some reason, i didn't like talking to them about the cure or being an immune. those topics were too heavy, too close to heart, and the time i spent with ashley and rosa were times in my day when i could just relax, chat and laugh with them.

it was with them that i could still feel like an eighteen-year-old. lunch with ashley and rosa gave me a sense of normalcy, something that was a rare commodity in a place like the shade.

that day in particular, i hated that lunch had to end. "lunch was lovely, rosa. you really are a great cook."

rosa smiled. "thanks, sofia."

ashley wrinkled her nose as she stared at the animal blood she just finished drinking. "i miss eating food. pizza in particular. don't get me wrong... mozzarella and pepperoni don't satisfy me as much as human blood does, but considering that we're on a strict animal blood diet lately, i keep craving." she narrowed her eyes and grinned as she eyed both mine and rosa's necks, implying that she wouldn't mind having a drink of our blood right then.

"i don't think derek would be happy sharing my blood with you," i told her with a grin.

ashley turned her eyes toward rosa, who just smiled sweetly in response. "you can never do that to me, ash," rosa said confidently.

"that i could believe." i nodded. ashley had the tendency to be protective of rosa, perhaps because we were all aware what a beauty rosa was starting to become and it was obvious that more than just one man - human and vampire - found her attractive.

i blew out a sigh. "i have to go now. derek called a council meeting."

ashley's eyes lit up with excitement. "does that mean there won't be any training this afternoon?"

i chuckled. "i doubt it. i'm pretty sure he's going to send either xavier or cameron to take over."

i rose to my feet as i watched ashley's face fall in disappointment, mumbling that xavier and cameron were just as harsh as derek when it came to training. i tuned out the complaints she was spouting out, as i began to feel a sense of excitement at the prospect of seeing derek.

i headed to the council meeting and, upon arriving, i immediately caught sight of derek at the head of the table. i took my seat on his right side, his twin sister, vivienne, sitting across from me. derek merely glanced my way before clearing his throat and calling the meeting to order.

i swallowed back the disappointment as we began to discuss the war and all the other issues that seemed to be mounting up in the shade. i reported on the situation at the catacombs and what we were doing about it. the meeting lasted several hours and by the time it was over, i felt mentally exhausted. i couldn't help but sigh with relief when derek finally dismissed us all.

i waited for everyone to leave, patiently standing by as the others had their final words with derek, before approaching him.

when our eyes met, he gave me a tired smile.

"exhausted?" i asked him.

"more than i can explain."

"i miss you..."

his bright blue eyes softened as he brushed his fingers through my hair. i stared up at him, admiring him. the dark hair, the blue eyes, the pale skin and tall, lean, muscled physique... i never quite got used to how attractive he was or how small i felt whenever i was standing next to him.

his large hands engulfed my waist as he pulled me closer to himself. his lips pressed against my forehead. "i'm sorry it has to be this way, sofia. i hate that we can't spend as much time together as we did before."

i wanted to assure him that it was alright, that i understood that he was under a lot of pressure, but at that moment, i felt a possessiveness toward him that i had never felt before. since when were you so selfish with derek, sofia?

i was so sick of all the tension and all the drama. i was so tired of the political and social problems in the shade. i was eighteen years old. normal eighteen-year-olds were busy filling out college applications, moving into their dormitories, falling in and out of love ... i, on the other hand, was trying to figure out how to support a monarch in running his kingdom. and he wasn't just any other monarch either. he was a vampire. of course, i couldn't blame anyone but myself for the mess i'd gotten myself entangled in. it's not like anybody forced you to fall in love with a five-hundred-year-old king in an eighteen-year-old's body.

"what's going through your mind, sofia?" he asked.

"a lot," i admitted. "i've been finding it hard to cope..."

i could sense him tense at my admission.

"it's unfair, the pressure i'm putting on you with all the responsibilities that shouldn't be yours in the first place..."

i frowned. "i'm not complaining, derek. i hope you don't think that i am. i can still handle it all. i just... i miss laughing with you. i miss seeing you smile. i miss trying to figure out how to teach you to use a phone or how to drive..." i chuckled at the fond memories. "i miss us."

the sadness on his face broke my heart. "i know... i miss us too..." he admitted.

i was waiting for him to promise that things would change, that we would return to what things were like before, but no. it dawned on me how unsure derek was about the future. he no longer had the confidence that inspired him to fulfill his prophecy. i saw behind his eyes anxiety and self-doubt.

i grabbed his arm, my brows furrowing, as i studied the expression on his face. something's wrong... he looked away, seemingly bothered by my scrutiny. had i not been so tired, i would've pried... i would've asked him what was the matter, but i wasn't sure i wanted to know. i wasn't sure if i could take it. "we're both obviously tired." i nodded my head slowly, smiling at him bitterly. "maybe it's best we retire to our quarters and have a good night's rest."