"that's crap, camilla." claudia shook her head. "i gave myself that same excuse many times over and it led me to very bad decisions. you have a choice. there is always a choice."

"what does it matter?" i ran my hand through my hair, feeling the despair that came with the failure to kill sofia. "she's alive. aiden hates me. it's over. what's done is done."

"are you blind, camilla?! do you not realize how much those two love you? you failed them time and time and time again and they were willing to give you one chance after another! how can you turn your back on that kind of love?"

"they want me to become human. if the cure works, they want me to become human again."

"will you do it for them?"

i shook my head, then nodded, then shrugged. "i don't know. i don't know what i'm going to do." i knew that if there was anyone to blame for my misery, it was me and me alone. i knew that what claudia was saying was true. aiden had given me nothing but true love and sofia had been willing to forgive and accept despite everything that i put her through. i was to blame for the fact that darkness had such a control over me now.

i was actually expecting for it to come and take revenge on me anytime soon, but nothing came. no one came. i feared that aiden would suffer the brunt of my failure. i feared for his sake and i feared for sofia's too. at that point, when i was certain that i'd already lost them, i realized how much i wanted them back. the old adage haunted me: you never know what you got until it's gone.

i nodded at claudia. "i will do it. if it's what they ask of me, i would be willing to become human."

claudia stared at me in surprise. "you're certain?"

"wouldn't you do it if yuri asked you to?"

she swallowed hard as she began fidgeting with her blonde curls. "i guess i would... i'm not sure. it's a scary thought. part of me wants to. for yuri. part of me is terrified of the weakness that comes with being human."

she sat on the cot beside me before heaving a deep sigh. "i guess it really doesn't matter right now. rex is dead. their theory for the cure didn't work."

i just smirked. "they will find a way. if there's anything i know about my daughter that i am sure of, she will never give up until she finds that cure. she loves derek novak too much to give up."

before she could respond, the cell doors swung open and aiden appeared. i took a deep breath upon seeing him. i geared up myself for a fight, for accusations, for a whole lot of pain. claudia looked at him worriedly, but knew that she had to leave, giving us our privacy.

i couldn't look aiden in the eye.

"why?" he asked. "why would you do this? i was almost going to kill you. if sofia didn't manage to successfully convince me not to..."

i didn't have the answers to his question, not ones that would satisfy him at least.

"why did you choose this path? help me understand... i thought you said you wanted us to become a family again."

"i do want..."

"then why?!"

"because i can't afford to lose you..." i knew he wasn't going to understand that statement, but it was the only one i could give him.

"well, you just did, camilla." he turned back, but before he left, he gave me one last word. "whatever sofia decides to do about you, i suggest you just cooperate. don't fight back."

"what do you think she's going to do?"

"i'm pretty sure she'll agree with what i'm about to suggest."

"what's that?"

"next time they need a vampire to test out the cure, i'm going to suggest they use you."

chapter 34: sofia

"rex was burned to a crisp," xavier emphasized. "there are barely even any bones left. he's just ashes now."

what are we missing? you have to figure this out, sofia. i feared for derek. i feared for us, and amidst all the chaos we were in, the cure felt like my only ray of hope. rex's demise was disheartening and i felt somehow responsible for it, but i knew that we couldn't give up on the cure and that rex had it coming. i swallowed back the bile rising up my throat. get it together, sofia. rex brought it upon himself. it's not your fault.

"i don't understand..." i frowned. "what caused kyle to turn back to a human? what was the difference between him and rex?"

all i got from cameron, liana, vivienne, xavier, eli, yuri and claudia were blank stares.

"we're going to have to try again," vivienne said, "but this time, we need to follow everything according to what exactly happened to kyle."

"what?" xavier interjected. "we have to beat up the vampire first and feed her the blood of anna?"

"no... i think vivienne is on to something," i began nodding. "i don't think the beating is necessary, but i think the feeding is. maybe the cure is that the vampire must first feed on blood right before being thrown into the sunlight."

"from what i understand of their story," cameron spoke up, "rex also had a drink of anna's blood before kyle came to her rescue and rex ended up shoving him into the pit."

"yes," eli nodded, "but kyle was thrown to the pit and exposed to sunlight soon after drinking anna's blood. rex was thrown into the pit more than a day after he had her blood. maybe it has to be immediate. drink the blood, expose yourself to sunlight."

"that's a great theory." yuri nodded in agreement. "but after what happened to rex, who would want to volunteer and try to test that theory out?"

"i know someone who we can use." aiden walked into my quarters, which somehow had become the center of all issues that needed discussing after derek left the island with emilia.

my heart sank. i already knew who it was that he was going to suggest. i licked my lips and gave him a sympathetic glance, wondering if he was sure about what he was going to say. i saw it in his eyes how much he wanted to believe that ingrid's desire to be a family was for real. i could tell how heartbroken and torn he was.

"we can use ingrid." he shrugged one shoulder.

a collective gasp echoed in the room. i noted how he no longer referred to her as camilla. he's completely given up.

claudia hung her head at the suggestion. my mother was her friend, closer to her than i ever was.

"are you sure about this, aiden?" yuri asked, noticing how bothered claudia was. i didn't miss how he grabbed her hand to channel comfort toward her. the gesture made me ache for derek.

"it's a just punishment for the trouble she's caused everyone." aiden's jaw tightened. i could tell that he was set on putting his suggestion to execution.

"what do you think about this, sofia?" vivienne shot me a look of concern.

i gave it some thought. we'd given my mother one chance after another and every single time, she proved that we'd been fools for putting our trust in her. i wondered how many times she'd been able to break my father's heart.

i shrugged. "i'm not thrilled about the idea, and i don't think ingrid will agree to it either without a fight, but what choice do we have?"

"i've already talked to ingrid," aiden confessed. "she's going to do it whether she likes it or not."

xavier shrugged. "let's do it."

"wait..." liana interrupted. "there's the matter of whether or not ian or kyle - or even anna - would agree to letting ingrid drink anna's blood. we can't just force anna to let ingrid drink. she already lost a lot of blood with kyle drinking from her."

"ingrid can have my blood," i suggested.

"no." aiden shook his head. "she is not going to drink your blood. i'm not going to allow it."

"then whose blood are we going to give her then? i don't want it to be anna's again."

"she can have mine," aiden responded nonchalantly. "it's about time i got to experience firsthand what it's like. besides, if this doesn't work, i'd rather have ingrid craving my blood instead of craving yours."

i narrowed my eyes at him. "aiden, do you not realize that if this doesn't work, she's going to die? the sun will kill her."

aiden shrugged. "well, there's that. still, i'd rather she have my blood than yours."

i couldn't see even a hint of hesitation in his eyes, a sign that he was deeply hurt by my mother.

"what if only an immune's blood works?" claudia asked, not bothering to mask how disturbed she was at the thought of ingrid being led to her possible death. "or what if only anna's blood works?" her eyes focused on me pleadingly. "sofia, think this through. she's your mother. i know she screwed up, but still..."

i wanted to feel something. i wanted to hesitate, but i couldn't bring myself to do it. i was just numb. i straightened in my seat and even though my heart went out to claudia, i knew that we had to do what we had to do. "we don't want this either, claudia, but if ingrid agrees to this, then i think there really is no other choice. we need to somehow find out if the cure works."

that was it. nothing else needed to be said. it was set. ingrid was going to drink aiden's blood before we threw her into the pit and waited for the sun to rise and either cure her or kill her.

as i watched my mother peacefully drink my father's blood, vivienne came to my side and squeezed my elbow. despite my better instincts, i ran toward ingrid and threw my arms around her neck before she could enter the pit.

"do you hate me, ingrid?" i whispered into her ear.

she shook her head. "no. i don't."

"do you love me then?"