i shook my head. "no. i belong with sofia, and if i lose her... if she dies..." i wanted to threaten revenge. i wanted to tell emilia that i was going to hunt her down and make her life miserable, but instead... my shoulders just sagged. i knew that sofia would never take the path of vengeance, and neither would i. "if i lose her, emilia, you might as well kill me. i would rather die than live the rest of my immortality without her."

emilia stared up at me as if it dawned on her for the first time that i was truly in love with sofia. "i can't believe you conquered the lure of the darkness, derek. for her."

emilia placed a soft kiss on my jaw. i flinched at the very feel of her lips, my fists clenching as i fought hard not to respond with violence.

"i should kill you," i whispered.

"please do... if i return to the blood keep without having accomplished my mission, i might as well be dead. my master will be far less merciful than you."

i couldn't keep myself from asking the question. "why aren't you fighting back?"

"i lost control of you the moment you remembered. and the spell of night is now back upon the shade. i can't harm the shade or sofia. i'm powerless here where, despite there being an endless night, there is barely any darkness... darkness is powerless against light."

i found the statement ironic. sofia was light and she was absolutely powerless against me in my moment of darkness. the thought that her life was hanging by a thread at my own doing was horrifying.

"what is the elder going to do to you if i don't kill you myself?" i asked emilia. i wanted to get away from her and back to sofia as soon as i could.

fear enveloped her countenance as she shook her head. "please... derek, don't..."

"answer my question, emilia."

"he's going to turn me back to a human and give me over to my brother. i will be under his control until the day i die... derek, you need to understand..."

i'd seen enough of her family to know that the worst fate she could possibly endure was to be amongst them. without hesitation, i sank my claws right through her chest, looked her straight in the eye as i gripped her beating heart. "i show you this mercy as gratefulness for everything that you did in order to make the shade safe. we owe you that much."

"thank you," she mouthed to me before i ripped her heart out.

we both knew that what i did was an act of mercy.

"i'm confused," xavier confessed. "what just happened, derek? why did you attack sofia? what happened to you?"

i stared at emilia's motionless body for a couple of seconds before responding to xavier's question. "i was in love with her. she and the elder brainwashed me to believe that i was in love with her and that i wanted to kill sofia."

without another word, i turned my back on them and rushed toward sofia's quarters at the catacombs. i found her in her bedroom, with vivienne, aiden and eli circling her bed. the others were right outside the room waiting to be told of her condition.

"is she alright?" i asked.

eli looked at me pointedly over his black-rimmed glasses. "she lost a lot of blood. we have to do a blood transfusion. aiden's donating his blood. it's a good thing they're compatible."

vivienne motioned for me to take a walk with her. when i refused, she insisted. "you're not going to help anyone - least of all sofia - by staying here and hovering over eli as he does his work. come with me so you can tell me what just happened."

i knew she was right, so i obliged. it helped that i couldn't stand looking at sofia without the guilt eating me up. i told her everything that happened at the blood keep and she told me everything that happened and was happening in the shade. when she mentioned that kyle was human, hope surged within me.

"how is that possible? what happened? where's kyle now? have you tried it on anyone else?"

vivienne nodded. "rex and ingrid."

my eyes grew wide open. "and?"

she shook her head and my heart dropped. "they're gone."

i swallowed hard. the idea that sofia lost her mother while i was gone pierced me. "i should've been here."

"you couldn't have done anything to change that. besides, if you were here, i doubt rex would've tortured kyle."

"you have a point." i paused, hope still lingering inside of me. "so after ingrid... do you still have a theory on what the cure might be?"

"we didn't know who to test it on next," vivienne explained, "but the theory is that an immune's blood must first be running through a vampire's system before he can be immediately exposed to sunlight. that, we believe, is how kyle turned back. or... it was all just some sort of fluke."

i suddenly recalled the vampire emilia killed when he fell into the sunlight. i nodded violently. "no. i think that's it. let's try that theory out."

vivienne's eyes grew wide open. "on whom?"

i knew that sofia's blood was still pumping through mine, so the only logical thing that i could respond to my twin with was, "take me to the pit."

i couldn't think of a better person to test the cure out other than myself. vivienne stood adamantly against it.

"you can't be serious, derek. you could die! do you understand that?"

"who better to do it than me, vivienne? i'm the leader of the shade. i can't just let us test it on someone else... not while i'm around."

"what if the cure doesn't work? do you really want sofia to wake up after what you just did to her only to find out that you're dead?"

"but what if the cure works? why would you immediately assume that i would die?" i told her what happened in the labyrinth. i was sure then that the reason why emilia killed the vampire guard was because she didn't want me to see him turn back into a human. "if this is the cure, vivienne, then sofia and i can actually be together."

"i know that, derek, but if you're going to try this cure out, you're not going to do it without her consent."

"i'm still king of the shade, vivienne. i want to do this."

vivienne scoffed at my bluff. "you are our king, derek. that's true, but i would like to think that you're not completely foolish. i'd like to think that you are smart enough to realize that sofia is your queen, and that to make a step as big as this without even hearing what she thinks about it, is your downfall and hers. you two are most powerful when you put your wits and strengths together. don't do this to her, derek."

i knew my sister was speaking truth. i gave her a lingering look, realizing what an ally she had become to sofia. i had to take note of the difference in all of us ever since sofia became a part of our lives. she changed us all... for the good. i loved sofia. i just hoped that she wouldn't deny me this.

i gave vivienne a nod, determined that no matter what sofia said, i would stand by my decision to be the next person to test the cure out. "this is the cure, vivienne, and i feel confident about it, but you're right. sofia deserves to have a say in this."

i honestly thought nothing would shake my decision to test the cure out. that was until i returned to sofia's bedroom to find her surrounded by her dearest friends, a huge smile on her face. my resolve crumbled the moment she laid her eyes on me.

"i'm so sorry..." i rasped out. i didn't want to go near her in fear of somehow breaking her. i was once again so greatly aware of how fragile she was compared to me. it didn't help that i could feel aiden's eyes on me, studying my every move, blaming me for what happened to sofia. i struggled to meet sofia's gaze. i could never get used to the way she looked at me like i was the most worthy person she'd ever seen in the world, like i meant more to her than anything else. how could she still look at me that way?

everyone filed out of the room to give us our privacy, aiden more hesitant than the others. the moment we were alone, she reached out toward me, welcoming me into her arms.

i drew near, still apologizing, but she shook her head refusing to hear any of it.

"shut up, derek. i'm just glad you're back. we're both alright."

she held me close and kissed my lips gently and i knew then that she was right. we survived. i also realized that what my sister said was true. sofia was my queen and if i wanted to rule well, i had to accept the reality that i couldn't do things without taking sofia into consideration.

when i mentioned the cure and that i wanted to be the one to test it out first, she just listened to me, hearing me out before giving me a response.

"i understand why you want to do it, derek, but you do realize that the cure might not work?"

"i'm ruler of the shade, sofia. i can't have another one of my subjects die testing out a cure that i'm not willing to go through myself..."

"if it doesn't work, i could lose you."

"we can't just risk some innocent, sofia. not after the lives that have already been lost. you know what the prophecy says. it's me who will lead my kind to true sanctuary. that's what i have to do now. lead."

a long moment of silence followed. "fine," sofia finally said, slowly nodding, with tears brimming her eyes. "i do have one condition, derek."

"what's that?"

"i want to marry you first."

that took me by surprise. "why?"

i never would've imagined that she would give me the response that she did.

"i loved you as a vampire. i want to marry you while you're still one."

i didn't think i could love her more, but i did, because she made me feel at that moment like she accepted me for everything that i was, while still looking forward to what i would become. i was in love with sofia claremont and the thought of her being my wife was more than anything i could ever ask for.