after a while, she cut her eyes toward paden and watched the sea breeze ruffle his hair. his face was stoic, but she could feel his carefully concealed turmoil. she hated to watch him suffer, even if it was to find the words to break her heart.

"paden, i'm sorry. i understand if you-"

"do you love him?" cutting her off, he glanced at her and then quickly away.

ree became conscious that her mouth was hanging open, so she snapped it shut and shook her head no. when she realized he might not have seen her response, she cleared her throat and his eyes cut back to her face.

"no. not like that. not like..." her voice caught, but she pushed on. "not like i love you." paden closed his eyes for a moment and ree tried to keep from crying. "i'm not trying to make this harder on you. i know you deserve much better than me. i don't even really know why or how it happened. it was stupid and i wish... i wish you could forgive me, but i know that's not possible. i won't make things difficult."

he opened his eyes so they were barely slits and looked at her. "you don't love him." his words were odd, and didn't make sense to her at first.

"no, no. i mean, i care about him. i want good things for him, but i'm not in love with him. i remember how much tria loved him and it made things kind of confusing, but that's gone. roland was meant for someone else." ree took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around her waist. she almost told him she was meant for him, but that wasn't fair. she didn't need to make things harder on him.

paden's breath came out raggedly and he hung his head so she couldn't see his face. biting her bottom lip, she looked away and tried to keep the tears from running down her face. part of her wanted to find a place to cry, while another part of her wanted to yell and kick things.

"ree, i'm sorry." paden didn't look up at her, and ree felt her heart sink. this was it, the end. her tears ran down her cheeks, but she didn't say anything. she'd let him finish and do her best to not make a scene. "i never should have made that bet with roland. i shouldn't have treated you like you were an object to be won."

"why did you?" confused, ree wiped at her cheeks with her sleeve.

looking up at her, his face looked terrified. "no, ree, don't cry. please." he moved as if he was going to touch her face, but stopped. he shook his head and licked his lips. "i thought i would win. i wanted to win, to be better than him. it was stupid, but i thought it would prove that you were supposed to be with me." running a hand through his hair, his eyes got a wild look to them. "god, ree. do you know what it felt like to see him holding you? kissing you?" his breath came out raggedly. she shook her head, but didn't say anything.

"and it was my own damn fault." he looked at her seriously, his eyes wide and earnest. "but, you're not in love with him?"

again, she shook her head no and waited to see what he would say. "do you..." he stopped and seemed to struggle for words.

"i love you, paden." reaching a shaky hand out, ree touched his fingers and gasped when he yanked her into his lap. his arms crushed her to him, his fingers tangled in her hair and he tucked her head under his chin.

"i love you, alastriana mckenna. and i never want to see you in someone else's arms again. you belong right here. right here with me." he turned so he was talking against her hair. "i love you."

"i'm so sorry, paden." ree mumbled into his shirt. "i love you so much. i never meant to hurt you."

paden pulled back and used a finger to lift her chin so he could look into her eyes. "no. don't be sorry. i think... i think it had to happen for you both to move on. and i made just as big a mistake, okay? i should never have made that bet. you are worth so much more than my pride. do you understand that? you're my life, ree."

"so, you're not breaking up with me?" ree bit her lip and felt the stirring of joy and relief in her heart.

"break up with you?" paden gave her a small smile before tucking her head back against his chest. "how does someone break up with their own heart? to not have you would be like living half a life. only death will keep me from you, and then only for a little while."

ree laughed weakly, her tears choking her as she buried her face in his shirt. his arms tightened around her, and he shifted her gently so he was lying down, and she was tucked against his chest. they didn't say anything for a while. instead ree stared at the stars and enjoyed being in paden's arms. his free hand toyed with her hair and she cuddled up to him as closely as she could get.

"i meant it, ree. i would fight all of the dark ones by myself to keep you." paden's voice rumbled through his chest, making her body ache to be closer to him.

"and i would fight the gods for you." ree moved so her leg was thrown over his and she wrapped her arm over his chest.

"those are dangerous words." paden said quietly, but he turned his head so he could kiss her hair.

"those are true words." she looked up at him, so he could see the fierceness in her eyes. he nodded and smiled at her before tucking her head back down onto his chest.

the sound of the lapping waves seemed to soothe their hurts as they lay under the stars in each other's arms. after a while, ree started to drift to sleep, only to jerk awake when paden shifted.

"i guess we need to head back to the house." ree sat up and brushed some of the hair out of her face.

"why?" shrugging out of his jacket, paden held his arms open in invitation to her. she melted back into him and smiled when he covered the two of them with his coat. "i want to spend the next few hours holding you."

"sounds perfect." cuddling back into him, she put her hand on his chest and smiled when he covered it with his own.

after a while, ree's eyes fluttered open and she saw aphrodite tending a small campfire. the goddess smiled at ree and put a finger to her lips. snuggling closer to paden, ree closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

chapter nine

the sound of hissing may have woken ree, but it was the stinging cold water droplets that kept her awake. rubbing a hand across her face, she looked around the area in confusion. soft rain fell from the early morning sky, causing the fire to sputter out. a rumble of thunder woke paden, who cussed under his breath and pulled ree up and out of the sand. he held his jacket over their heads as they ran for the cover of the trees.

"and this would be why i never wanted to go camping." ree laughed.

"congratulations. you just spent your first night roughing it." paden winked at ree.

the clouds opened up just as they reached the large tree ree had fallen out of not so long ago. laughing, ree fended off the wet assault when paden shook his head, sending water flying in all directions. paden narrowed his eyes at her before pushing her against the tree and rubbing his wet hair along her face. she couldn't help the squeal that escaped her lips as she tried to shove him away. somehow during their struggle, paden's leg ended up pressed between hers and her heart started to flutter in her chest for very different reasons. paden seemed to be experiencing the same thoughts, because his mouth touched hers in a scorching kiss. his hands tangled in her wet hair, tipping her head backward so he could reach her easier. tiny pricks on her lips meant his fangs were down, but that only urged ree onward. running her hands over his wet t-shirt, she traced the outlines of his muscles with her fingertips.

her heart stuttered when his hands followed the same path hers had, only over her shirt. when his hands hesitated along the lines of her bra, she leaned into him, wanting more. she could literally feel his resolve weaken as his hands ran over her body freely. when he lifted the hem of her shirt so his fingers could touch her skin, she moaned into his mouth.

his breath stuttered against her skin while he trailed kisses down her neck. when his fangs scratched gently over her skin, she felt a small sting of pain that quickly disappeared as he healed her. his mouth continued its downward journey, his hot breath teasing her skin through the wet material of her shirt. she gasped in pleasure, her hands tangling in his hair.

water from the rainstorm dripped through the leaves and ran along their faces and down their bodies as they stayed pressed against the tree. the soft sound of wind filled their little area, and ree knew her power was swirling through the fallen leaves at their feet. there was no way she could control the power at this point, but if all it did was churn around them happily, then she decided it would be fine. at least out here no one would notice.

running his hands under the back of her shirt, he played with the clasp of her bra. after a moment, it snapped open and his breath shuddered out of him. almost timidly, his hands slid around to the front of her body and her back arched in pleasure.

ree could barely form a coherent thought as paden's hands and mouth touched her hot skin. the only thing she was capable of deciding was that she wanted more. she wanted to touch him and never stop. moving her hands out of his hair, she slid them down his chest and grabbed the top of his jeans. with nervous jerks, she undid the button and traced her fingers along the top of his boxers. paden sucked in his breath and grabbed her wrists. very slowly, he lifted her arms so they were pinned above her head.

"you can't do that, ree." his breathing was heavy as he nuzzled her neck.

"why not?" ree pulled her hands down and lifted his face so she could see him better.

"because i don't think i would be able to stop. i want... i want you so much." his eyes stared into hers intently, and she could feel the truth under his words.

"then why stop? i want you, too." ree ran her thumb over his bottom lip to catch a drop of water that had travelled down his face.

"because now isn't the right time." paden slid his hands down so they wrapped around her waist. "not here, not in the mud."

"our whole world is a mess. we could die tomorrow. why not here, in the mud?" ree widened her eyes.

"did you really just pull the 'we could die tomorrow' card?" paden's body shook against ree's with laughter. leaning down he kissed the top of her head. "god, i love you ree."

"so, is that a no?" ree couldn't help but laugh, even if she was disappointed.

"that's a 'not right now'. when i make love to you, i want to be able to take my time. and i don't have any protection. the last thing we need to be worried about right now is you being pregnant." the laughter left paden's eyes and he looked at her seriously. ree shivered, the word pregnant bouncing around in her head like the sound of a gunshot.

"so, i guess we should head back to the house?" ree sighed.

"probably. it's after dawn and the others are most likely up." paden kissed her gently, his own feelings of disappointment making her feel a little better. stepping back, he fixed the button on his jeans. ree blushed a little and looked away. she reached behind her to redo her bra clasp and tried to shake the image of paden with his pants undone.

she had done that, unbuttoned his pants and been ready for more. consequences had been the farthest thing from her mind. trying to calm herself, she turned and ran her fingers over the rough bark of the tree.

"so, when did you start a fire?" paden asked.

"hm? oh, on the beach? i didn't. that was aphrodite." ree didn't turn to look at paden. her mind caught by something familiar surrounding the tree.

"aphrodite?" paden moved closer to her, his voice confused. "uh huh."

"the goddess of love. i guess we looked cold." paden sounded odd, so ree looked at him and smiled. "it is their island, you know."

"kind of creepy when you think about it." paden shook his head and looked to where ree was touching the tree.

"you know, this tree is really spectacular." ree let her fingers travel over the rough bark with interest. "it feels alive, like it has a personality."

"i know what you mean." paden touched the bark next to ree's hand. "i swear it's happy when you're around."

ree used her senses to reach out to the tree and was surprised to feel it did indeed seem happy she was there. and even more importantly when she looked with her extra sense, she could see the fog that surrounded her when she travelled to the god's realm. could this tree be a bridge of some kind?

"paden, last night before we talked i visited the god's realm again. and i think this tree is the reason i've been making trips over there." ree looked over her shoulder at him and realized he was frowning again. "what?"

"you were over there with them again? why didn't you tell me?"

"we had other stuff to talk about. we needed to get through our mess before we could talk about the rest." turning around, ree grabbed his hand. "i couldn't function, thinking that i had ruined my chance with you."

"you can't ruin your chances with me, ree. i'm a sure thing." paden touched her cheek gently. "but, please tell me if anything like that happens again. i can't take care of you if i don't know what's going on."

ree nodded, but didn't say anything. she was pretty sure that there was nothing paden could do about her traveling to the god's realm and she felt that, in a way, it had helped her to understand more of their situation. obviously paden could sense what she was thinking, but he didn't say anything, just tightened his hand around hers.

"so what happened last night before our talk?" paden started walking toward the house, his fingers urging her to come with him.

so, she told him about aphrodite, about melanie and roland, about the gods being worried about her power. she explained what she understood about the gods' plans, how there were connections between them all, how they had acted like politicians playing with her and her friends' lives.

"paden, they sat around discussing us like we were things. nothing more than tools or pets that needed to be kept in line. all of it, everything they do, is probably to point us in some direction, or in hopes of getting us to react a certain way." ree kicked at a rock as they walked and watched in shock as it flew much further than she thought possible. she looked at paden with big eyes.

"i think you're going to need to do some of the training we did while you were learning to use the power. it takes some getting used to." paden's fingers squeezed hers reassuringly.