The Steele Wolf (Iron Butterfly #2)

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mona's hands rested lightly on gloria's arm as if giving her a reassuring pat. a cup was placed enticingly in front of my plate and i slowly pushed it out of reach. gloria watched me; her back stiffened and she turned on me, eyes blazing.

"do you think you are too good to drink with us? this was specially made for your party tonight. the least you could do is to honor our guests with a toast."

what had i done? why the sudden change in tone and demeanor within a few minutes? i thought fast. "oh yes, a drink sounds lovely but my hands are shaking so badly with nerves that i'm scared to even take a sip for fear of spilling on myself and embarrassing you or your family in public." the words came rushing out in an awkward attempt to appease gloria. it seemed to do the trick as i saw her eyes take on a glazed look and she seemed to calm down again.

"yes, that is smart. you mustn't embarrass us. no, never." gloria looked off into the crowd and seemed to get lost in thought.

breathing a sigh of relief, i looked over at joss to see if he had seen any of that last exchange with his mother, but he was leaning towards his father and was in a deep conversation.

"oh, no!" i thought to myself. i had forgotten to tell joss not to drink anything either. grabbing his cup, i lifted it to feel that it was already emptied. whatever had gotten kael on edge, he obviously wasn't concerned enough to share his suspicions with joss.

mona had gotten up and brushed past gloria to stand behind joss and personally refill his cup. her hand brushed his arm as she placed the drink very carefully on the table. mona's eyes met mine over joss' head in a challenge and then she left the room. joss had barely given mona a glance during this whole silent scene but no sooner had she left than he started to reach for his cup again. i had no choice.

reaching out quickly i beat him to it and knocked his cup over in an awkward attempt at pretending to hand it to him. the brown gold liquid spilled out of the cup and all over joss' pants. he jumped up, covered with the chai, and gave me an exasperated look, which pierced my heart.

i had disappointed him. he didn't understand. how can i tell him in front of all of these people about kael's warning? would he believe me? joss looked at me sadly and touched my head before promising to return as soon as he changed.

the whole room had stopped to stare at the young girl who had spilled a drink on their lord's son and had embarrassed him. my cheeks burned in embarrassment. berry shot me a worried look and avina looked horrified. i felt tears burn in my eyes. nero just looked at me and tried to tell me it was fine. that he'd had drinks spilled on him numerous times at dinner. his try at consoling me only made me feel worse. what i was most surprised at was gloria's reaction. once no one was looking at me, she leaned into me and whispered in my ear.

"leave. you are not wanted here," gloria whispered.

"i'm not going to leave," i shot back quietly. "i have no reason to."

"even if i told you that he is only doing all of this to make mona jealous?"

i looked at gloria to see if she was serious, to see how much she could possibly know. joss and his father had decided to not tell her about our pretend engagement, so. so what was she talking about?

a small knowing smile played around her lips as she went on. "he talks to me you know, when he thinks i'm sleeping. i listen and i hear him pour out his unrequited feelings for her. he's tried to court her but she's refused. he brought you home to try and make her jealous and change her mind, which i think she has. you'll see."

"no, you're wrong." my heart felt like it was in a vice and doubt, that ugly thing called doubt, began to creep in. our relationship was still new and we really hadn't known each other that long. but my insecurities made it all seem perfectly plausible. why would joss be interested in someone like me when he could marry someone as beautiful as mona?

"am i?" she challenged. "if that's so, then where is joss right now? hmmm? you see, he doesn't really care about you."

"he went to change, that's all. he's coming right back." he had to. i couldn't stand to be here one more minute defending him to his mother. my first impression of her had been wrong. she wasn't a beautiful angel; she really was a vengeful dragon.

"i know that all of you are lying, pretending. i'm a mother and i know my children. i know when they try and deceive me." gloria's eyes burned angrily and she shuddered in anger at me. "i don't like liars and they are not welcome in my home." it was unbelievable how much venom she could spew forth in such a cultured voice. but each word found its target deep within me.

my hands shook from hurt and the deep insecurities she was flushing out, but the doubt was becoming most prominent. it was as if she could read my mind.

"poor, poor thalia. can't you see? you are even lying to yourself." gloria reached her hand out and touched my skin and i felt an onslaught of mixed emotions, though muted. "it's mona; it has always been mona. it would be better if you left now, quietly while no one is the wiser."

i couldn't take it. pushing out my chair, i slowly stood up. talbot's eyes shot to my face and watched me quietly. raising my chin up high, i walked out of the observatory and down the hall, taking the first set of stairs that i came to. at first i wandered aimlessly, trying to fight back any fear and doubt i had as i replayed the conversation with gloria over back in my head. when i had thoroughly cooled down and felt composed, i decided it was time to go back to the dinner. by now joss would have changed and could even now be waiting for me. but with all of the different levels in the tower, looking, i was lost as to which floor i was on. i decided to open a random set of double doors to find which floor i was on.

opening the first set of doors i came to, i found i was in the library. i was about to close the door when i saw two people locked in a tender embrace by a window. small feminine hands could be seen locked around strong male shoulders.

once again embarrassed, i tried to avert my eyes and quietly close the door but something about their silhouettes looked familiar. pushing the door open wider, i let it slam against the doorjamb on purpose; hoping that one of them would look up. they both did and i felt my heart hit the floor.

it was joss and mona.

chapter 25

wide eyed and confused, i turned and rushed out the door. i was not sure what i had seen; i decided that, with the way i was feeling, i wasn't ready for a confrontation. was i running away? probably. but why wasn't i turning around to confront mona and fight for joss? maybe it was because, deep down, i knew that gloria's words had struck a chord with me and i was still feeling the reverberations from our conversation. maybe joss had chosen a long time ago, and this was all just a farce. if so, then why did my chest hurt so much? why did he bring me here? was it all a lie just so i would come and bring kael and look for his sister?

angry tears blurred my vision and i found myself back on the same floor as the observatory. the sound of music and laughter echoed into the dark hallway where i stood alone. pressing my forehead into the wall, i tried to calm myself down. but it was no use; i couldn't go back in. i couldn't pretend to be happy and carefree. i didn't belong here, i hated living up in the air on skyfell and all i wanted to do was escape. and that's when i realized that mona was right. gloria had won. i was going to leave.