Chapter 819 His Anger...

Though Jiang Yuyan expected a harsh reaction from Lu Feng, it still affected her greatly, but she didn't let it show on her face.

"I am wondering where to start. Any suggestions, Yuyan?" Lu Feng asked and waited for her to talk.

"As you wish," came the reply from her.

"I remember you kissed me on cheeks, why don't you kiss me properly this time like an adult? I want to know how your lips taste," Lu Feng said while gazing at her lips intensely as if he was really tempted to kiss her, but still, there was no change in her.

Seeing her so stubborn, Lu Feng moved closer to kiss her, but she tightly shut her eyes even before he could even touch her. She gripped her skirt and looked like she will burry herself in the door next moment to get away from him.

Though she was adamant about not giving up, her body betrayed her with its reflex action of not being touched when she didn't want it by heart.

Lu Feng stopped, seeing her like this. He already expected her to react like this and spoke while gazing at her, having a smirk on his lips.

"Are you scared now? A while ago, you were acting so boldly, and even you were ready to give yourself to me. What happened now, when I am ready to take your loneliness away?"

Jiang Yuyan had nothing to say, and her efforts to hold herself strong went in vain. He had lifted her faked, and she got caught.

Her eyes turned teary as she looked at him, and he asked, "Were you that eager to send me away that you had to stoop low to this level?"

Jiang Yuyan continued being silent as his intense actions already made her weak and affected her greatly.

Moving his face a little back to give her some space to breathe and relax, though his hands were still surrounding on her either side, Lu Feng continued.

"You took advantage of my love for you and did this. Did you know how I felt when I thought something had happened and all my efforts not hurt you ever went you vain? Do you know how hard it was for me to be sane all the time and look at you as just my friend? Do you even know how much it hurts to let you go with another man and act as if I was fine all the time? Do you know how much I love you and how I wish you to be mine?"

Tears rolled down her cheeks, and Lu Feng softened the next moment. He could see anything but the tears in her eyes just because of him. He never intended to make her cry, but he had to do it to lift her mask.

Still, Lu Feng maintained his strong stand as he wished to pour his heart out, as this was the right time. He was not sure if he would get another chance like this, and if not, he would keep suffocating with all his feelings buried inside him, and he already had enough of fighting with his inner self.

"I really wish you to love me the way I do. I really wish I can have you only for me and spend my life with you. As I am so close to you right now, I wish to do everything with you without any restraint as you won't stop me just for the sake of your plan of sending me away...but...you know I can't do it because my love won't allow me to hurt you. I will hate myself if my touch makes you feel disgusted towards me. I will hate it if you hate me for this. I can accept if you won't feel anything for me but I can't accept if you hate me."

Listening to him, she continued crying but not because she felt hurt with his words but to hurt him instead.

"I am sorry, Lu Feng." Finally, she spoke and looked at him. "I am sorry to hurt you."

"I don't wish you to say sorry, but you should understand when I say I'll do everything right, you should trust me, but you always do what you feel right. When you were forced to marry me, I asked you to hold on, and I will fix it, but you didn't. When I said, I will go away when the time comes; you didn't trust me, and both the times you did something terrible. Why can't you trust me at least once? Am I a loser in your eyes just because I never show what I am?"

"No. I...I never thought like that," she countered.

"Then why?" he exclaimed.

"I..," seeing him so upset, she couldn't find a word to explain it to him and continued shedding tears as each one of them was making him weaker and feeling like to hug her tightly to console.

Lu Feng let go of his strong stand and calmed himself as he exhaled. He believed it was enough for her and wiped her tears as he said, "I am sorry to make you cry."

This sudden change in his behavior startled her. "You don't need to," she countered as she looked at him, and he wiped her tears.

"Whatever you do, I should not make you cry, my mistake," he spoke as and caressed her head and instructed, "come here."

Holding her hand, he took her to the couch and made her sit on it. He fetched water and offered it to her. She had a few sips as Lu Feng sat beside her.

"Are you okay now? He asked as if he was the one at fault for making her cry.

"I should be the one asking you this," she replied.

"I am not yet that weak to get affected so easily," he commented.

There was a dead silence for a while, which Lu Feng broke, "I know why you did it, and somewhere I am to blame. If I hadn't avoided talking to you, you wouldn't have done this. I was scared, you will ask me to go away, and it will break my heart."