i did as she bade me, lost in delight at her playfulness. i felt her tug at my belt, and then the bliss of buttons giving way to her nimble fingers. for one instant, i was free, and then, to my shock, i felt her clamp her mouth on me. i opened my eyes, jolted to my core at such wild and strange behavior. i knew it was not what i wanted. i tried to pull free of her, but she held me fast, and in another moment, i suddenly knew it was what i wanted beyond all else. i gave a groan of protest and delight and then surrendered to her. it was happening far more quickly than i intended, and with an intensity that left me mindless. i had read of such an act, in one of caleb's more depraved journals, but i'd certainly never expected to take part in such perversity. i felt unmanned that she had taken such control of me, and yet completely dominant as she knelt before me with my fingers tangled in her hair. her small hands pressed against the overflow of my belly, holding it back. i clasped her head between my hands and feared my own strength, for her skull felt fragile as a child's. sensations i'd never even imagined coursed through me. in the moment before her skillful tongue freed me from all thought, i knew that i wanted, more than anything, to grant her such bliss as she worked upon me.

and even in the midst of sexual release, i felt the telltale tingling of the magic moving in my blood. her mouth came suddenly free of me and she gave a wild cry, a sound as elemental as a doe calling for a mate. she fell bonelessly to the floor in front of my feet, her wet mouth ajar and moaning. "are you all right?" i asked her in alarm. i clutched my clothing around me and knelt next to her. her eyes were rolled back in her head. she took a shuddering breath, coughed it out, and then gasped in another one.

"i'll get help," i told her, and tried to rise. she grasped at me with vague hands.

"no. no, please. i'm all right. i think." she tried to sit up, and then collapsed back to the floor. "that's never happened to me before," she said in faint wonder. "that was...oh. i don't know what that was..." her voice trailed off into incoherence.

"isn't that how it's supposed to be?" i asked her. "mutual?"

"i...don't know, i suppose. i didn't know." she caught a ragged breath. "i didn't know," she said, almost defensively. "i didn't know it was supposed to be like that."

her comment stunned me. it had never dawned on me to wonder if whores enjoyed their work. i had assumed they did, for the most part, or why had they become whores? then i recognized the cruelty of that thought. had i ever imagined that amzil enjoyed the whoring she did to keep her children alive? "i'm sorry," i said quietly, not quite sure what i apologized for.

"don't be," she said, slowly sitting up. she peeked up at me shyly, her face full of confusion touched with awe. "you didn't even touch me," she said. "i don't understand what happened."

her hair had fallen across her face and clung to her sweaty brow. with one finger, i lifted a sheaf of it so i could see her eyes. she continued to look up at me. "it is supposed to be like that," i assured her. "it's always supposed to be this good."

i helped her crawl up on her bed and tenderly tucked a blanket around her. i knew she was a whore and i'd had the time i'd paid her for. she owed me nothing more than what she had already given me. reluctantly, i started to leave her there, but with a cry, she caught at my hand and drew me down beside her. "stay a little while," she said quietly. "i don't want mama moggam to make me bring another man back here. not just yet." she gave a sudden shiver. "it's like it's echoing in me," she said.

i lay down beside her. "you're warm," she said, and moved closer to me. she put her head on my chest. "i feel like i could fall asleep."

"if you want, you can," i told her. for a time, i held her close in a warmth that i suspect neither of us had felt in a long time. in its own way, it was better than the sex had been.

the candle had long since guttered away to leave us in blessed darkness when i heard a heavy pounding on the door. stiddick's voice rousted us. "you! in there! you're done now. leave!"

i startled awake, for i'd dozed off for the second time. even so, i would have lingered for another go-round, but she pushed at me lightly. "no. enough. good-bye, big man."

as i walked out, stiddick was waiting in the hall. he pushed past me to get inside. as the door swung shut, i heard him ask her, "did he hurt you? i never known you to let a man stay so long."