the man knit his brows. "that's all i'm supposed to do? watch him and make sure he chops wood and only drinks three times and doesn't eat anything?"

my father spoke in a flat voice. "if you don't think that will tax your abilities too much, narl."

the servant scowled. "i can do that. just seems like you'd want me to do more."

"no. that's all." my father turned on his heel and left the room.

i pulled on my boots and stood up. "let's go chop wood," i suggested.

the man scowled so that his forehead stood up on ridges. "you want to go? i don't have to force you or nothing?"

"i assure you, i'm as eager to do this as my father is. let's go."

"he's your father?"

i gave up trying to converse with narl. "i'm going downstairs and outside to chop wood now," i told him. i started out the door and he followed me like an obedient dog.

i chopped wood all that day. no one spoke to me or paid me much attention. once, sergeant duril wandered casually by and then walked away again. i suspected he had some thought or news he wanted to share with me, but i wouldn't acknowledge him in front of my guard. blisters came up and broke on my hands and were torn away. knowing that i could only ask for water three times, i schooled myself to wait until my body demanded it. then i drank deeply. evidently my father had not given the man any limit for how much water i could have.

it must have been boring duty for narl. he sat on a section of log and watched me. he wore a floppy brimmed hat, and as the shade of the woodshed moved, he scooted his log section along to stay within it. most of our wood was either skinny pole wood that i could chop with almost one blow or long heavy logs of spond wood salvaged from the river.

at the end of the day, narl escorted me back to my room. as i entered, i noticed that a large, new hasp had been fitted to the outside of my door. so i was to be locked in at night, to prevent any midnight kitchen visits. thank you, father. my room was stuffy when i entered it. the window was shut, and a quick glance showed me that it, too, had been fastened closed from outside. my father wasn't taking any chances, not even that i would risk a drop from my upstairs window to the gardens below. i could vividly imagine what that would do to my knees and ankles.

my guard shut the door behind me, and i sat down on my bed. i waited to hear the hasp secured in some way, but all i heard was the guard's departing footfalls. the maid had refilled my water ewer. i noticed with distaste that a chamber pot had been added to my room. the wash water was welcome, though i would have preferred a bath or even a dip in the river shallows.

i did not wait long until i heard a different step on the stair. there was a tap on my door, and when i opened it, my father himself entered with a covered tray. he didn't look at me. i think even he was somewhat embarrassed by what he was doing to me. "this is your food," he announced, as if i could have mistaken it for something else. i could smell meat, and instantly my mouth began to water. my hunger, which i could somewhat ignore in the absence of food, became an obsession the moment i could smell or see anything edible. i was glad that he set the tray down without uncovering it. i feared that if he had shown me what he carried, i could not have focused on his words.

he spoke stiffly. "i hope you realize that i'm doing this for your own good, nevare. trust me, and i promise you that by the end of the week, those clothes will be hanging on you. i will prove to you that your fat is a result of your greed, not some 'magic spell.'"

"sir," i said, confirming that i'd heard his words but offering no comment on what i thought of them. he decided that was rude, and left my room. he shut the door smartly and this time i did hear him fasten the hasp shut. fine. i wasted no time in sitting down to my meal.

in a way, he was fair. i suppose he could have fed me bread and water. instead, there was a meager portion of everything that my family was enjoying downstairs, even half a glass of wine. the cloth that had covered the tray became my napkin. i did not allow myself a morsel until i had divided every food on my plate into meticulously carved small bites. then i began, eating each bite as if it were my last and trying to savor the taste in an attempt to make the small quantity satisfying. i had cut the meat so fine that i had reduced it to tiny bundles of fibers. i ground them between my back teeth and let them linger in my mouth until the flavor faded. i ate the peas individually, squeezing the tender insides out of their tiny jackets and savoring the difference in texture. i chewed the bread endlessly, delighted to discover that each tiny square somehow became sweet when it lingered on my tongue.