when i first tried to raise him up, he slapped at me feebly as if he could not abide my loathsome touch. i exchanged glances with duril, and gave my father time to keen and moan. when he had exhausted his hoarded strength, i again stooped to take him up. i had to go down awkwardly on one knee, and my own belly was a barrier to picking him up. i was surprised to find myself strong enough to lift him easily.

duril followed me as i carried him to the parlor. i put him on a cushioned settee there, and told the sergeant, "go to the kitchen. get the cook fire started and put on a big pot of porridge. my father needs food, as do you, and simple food will do him best at first, if my own experience of the plague is any guide."

"what are you going to do?" duril asked me. my father had closed his eyes and sunk into stillness. i think duril already knew the answer.

"i have to go to my mother's chamber. and elisi's."

duril looked guiltily relieved. we parted there.

the rest of that day comes back to me sometimes in my nightmares. that house had always been my home, a refuge to me. the large pleasant rooms, decorated to my mother's tastes, had always seemed an oasis of calm and respite from the larger world. now it was filled with death.

my family had been dead for days. rosse was stiff in his bed, and i suspected he had been the last to die. my father had tried to tend him. a heap of soiled linens was at the foot of his bed. a clean blanket had been tucked around his body, and a napkin covered his face. my elder brother who had always gone before me in life had also gone before me into death. my father's heir son was dead. i refused to consider the full magnitude of that loss. i left his room quietly.

someone, probably elisi, had sewn a hasty shroud for my mother. i had thought to bid her farewell with a last kiss, but the smell was so thick in the stuffy room that i could barely force myself to enter. fat flies were bumping and buzzing against the window glass. i resolved to leave her covered and keep my last memory of her strong beauty intact. i thought of how i had nodded to her and then turned away, as if she were already a ghost. i regretted it as i regret few things in my life. i left her swaddled body without touching it and went on to elisi's bedchamber.

she and i had never been close. when i was born, i was not only the new baby in the family, but a son and a soldier son. i had displaced her in many ways, and that had always colored our relationship. now she was gone, and that gap would never be mended. the last time i had been in her room, it had been a little girl's room, with dolls on shelves next to expensive picture books with tinted illustrations. the years had changed it. some of elisi's own watercolors of wildflowers were framed on the walls. the dolls were long gone. the fresh flowers had rotted in their graceful vases, and elisi herself was a contorted corpse on the bed. a lovely comforter embroidered with birds was rucked all around her as if she had struggled free of it. she lay on her side, mouth gaping horribly, her clawlike hands reaching toward an empty pitcher on her nightstand. the fragments of a broken cup crunched under my feet. i left her room, unable at that moment to deal with her horrid death.

i forced myself to check every other bedchamber in the house. in the newly redone servants' wing, i found two more bodies, and one thin, frail maidservant. "they all ran off," she told me in a shaky voice. "the master ordered them to stay, but they crept away in the dark. i stayed, and i did my best, sir. i helped mistress elisi tend her mother to the end. we were sewing her shroud when the fever come over me. mistress elisi told me to get to bed, she'd finish it herself and then come to me. she said to just take care of myself. so i did. and she never came."

"it's all right," i said dully. "you couldn't have saved her. you did all you could, and the family is grateful to you. you will be rewarded for your faithfulness. go to the kitchen. sergeant duril is cooking food there. eat something, and then do whatever you can to restore the household." i hesitated and then added, "care for lord burvelle as best you can. he is overcome by grief."

"yes, sir. thank you, sir." she seemed pathetically relieved that i had not condemned her as she shuffled off to the task i had given her. the rest of the bedchambers showed the signs of hasty departure. i wondered if those who had fled had saved their lives or only spread the plague further.

my father himself had laid out our mansion and estate. he had forgotten nothing in plotting out a home that he intended would serve the family for generations. thus there was even a stone-walled cemetery with an adjacent chapel with shade trees, and beds of flowers. niches in the stone wall held symbols of the good god: the pomegranate tree, the ever-pouring pitcher, and the ring of keys. i had seen them so often that i no longer noticed them. the walled cemetery was a very pleasant place, really, as carefully maintained as my mother's garden. there, my father had once told me, "all of our bones will someday rest."