while it wasn't a normal request from gwen, i had to admit that i was flattered by her intense attention.

she listened with her whole body, taking notes as i recounted the days since the bomb at the school. while she'd only asked for two days, it was important to me that someone listen to everything that had happened to me since then and why i thought there was a problem. writing things down had helped me focus my thoughts a lot, so some of it probably sounded sort of rehearsed.

occasionally, she would interrupt with a logical question, but mostly she just listened. the hour timer rang, but she didn't miss a beat. she just shut it off and spun her hand in encouragement. "please continue."

so i did. i let it all out-as much of the interrogation as i could that wouldn't be classified, the bomb, ivy, bruno, the cop who pulled me over, dawna, john. there was so much seething anger, fear, and pain roiling around inside me and i didn't even realize it until it all came out. "so," i said, snuffling after my fifth tissue in the past five minutes, "am i a complete loon?"

"actually, you're not." it almost sounded like she was surprised. "most people would be. you are very mature for your age, but..." there was always a but with gwen. "you have to learn to give up some control. much of your anxiety stems from taking everything onto yourself. you can alienate people just by your sheer dominance."

i shrugged, feeling my defenses leap back to full power. "i sort of have to. nobody else steps up to the plate. if i alienate people who aren't doing their job ... um, so? do i care if they like me? no. i would rather they like me, but i would also rather they do the right thing so i don't have to get involved. does that make sense?"

like a spider leaping on a fly from above, the next words out of her mouth caught me by such surprise. i froze, barely breathing. "like your mother?"

"well ... yes, i suppose. but i have stepped away from that. like i told ivy, she made her choices and she'll have to pay the price. lord knows i have, plenty of times."

"so you wouldn't ... for example, help her hide from the police?"

what a weird question. "um, no. i never have before. in fact, i usually tipped off the cops where she was, especially when she was driving drunk."

"when's the last time you saw her?" i felt my hackles rise, and gwen must have seen something in my face, because she said, calm as ever, "celia, please don't get agitated. i'm only trying to help."

agitated? who was agitated? just because i could feel my heart pounding and my fists were clenched? "why are you asking me these questions, gwen?" my voice was coming out in a growl. it was too early in the day for the vampire to need to come out and play. i'd even eaten, and i knew there was plenty of meat broth in the smoothie. i was in control. "i'm dealing with mom. i am. she's in the best place for her right now. they can help her. i can't."

gwen sighed. "i believe you, celia. but i had to ask." she raised her voice. "you can come in, ladies."

ladies? huh? i turned and jumped to my feet as the door to the office opened. two casually dressed women walked in. i vaguely recognized one of them but couldn't remember from where. it wasn't until her intense eyes met mine that i remembered. her name was baker. she was tall and buff, with hair cropped short in a buzz cut that should have been very masculine. i'd envied the weapons on her belt when i'd first met her and she'd added a few since then. she was a siren, the queen's own security.

oh, crap.

the woman bowed her head in respect. "princess. i'd hoped you knew something that you could share. but we didn't want to startle you, so we came first to your healer."

i felt a chill come over me as i remembered ivy's frantic motions. "what's wrong with my mother? that's what you're here about, aren't you? where is she?"

the second guard, with a name tag that read natura, dipped her head politely. "i'm afraid we don't know. she was taking her daily walk along the beach path but never came back to the facility. several boats went to the mainland that day, so..."

i tried to process what they'd just said. "um, let me get this straight. you let a woman known for avoiding the law out of her cell ... alone?" holy crap! "how long has she been gone?"

baker let out a low, frustrated growl and wouldn't look at the woman with her. "two days. while i wouldn't have made the same choices as my associate, princess, please understand that, like you, your mother is royalty. that allowed for more privileges. and since one of her ailments was ocean withdrawal, walking near the water helped center her. for a time after she disappeared, we believed she was visiting with someone, but after searching the whole island, we're convinced she's left."

great. just fucking great. they've been treating my conniving mother like a freaking celebrity. she would eat that up and absolutely take advantage of it. i reached up to try to rub away the sudden headache that was making my forehead throb. different headache for a different problem. no wonder ivy was so panicked. not only had she probably watched mom slip onto a boat, she wouldn't be able to track her over water. ghosts don't do well over running water, just like vampires. "um, wow. i can't even describe the level of wrong that was. it had never occurred to me in my wildest nightmares that you might let her outside of a walled and spelled environment until she'd gotten massive therapy. but if you're asking if she's come to see me, the answer is an emphatic no. i am the last person on earth she would go to in a crisis. she'd be more likely to roll a junkie for money." i sighed and collapsed back into the chair where i'd been sitting. well, gosh, hadn't this been an emotional roller coaster of a session? "where else have you looked on the mainland?"

baker's voice was now embarrassed. "we started with you, princess."

i waved my hand in horrified resignation. "please, don't call me princess anymore. i'm just celia. part of the problem today is the royalty thing. let's just pretend i'm not. okay? can i order you not to call me princess anymore?" my eyes were shut and i realized i was beating my head backward against the pale blue padded headrest.

"of course, pr ... i mean, celia. you have that power."

fuck a duck. that's not what i meant. "i don't want any power. let's just go find my mother and get her back where she belongs. i'd rather not involve the mainland police if we can avoid it." i hated to admit that i was worried about her. she might not be in her right mind after not only being separated from the ocean but also going through alcohol withdrawal. i hoped she wouldn't do anything drastic or hurt anyone. she's not a violent person. but desperate people can do weird stuff. the siren guards were more likely to handle her gently. the local cops have encountered her before. she'd be locked up in a heartbeat and there wouldn't be any more chances. no more island paradises. just cold, stone walls.

and she'd die.

i wasn't sure if i could live with that, even though she makes me angry enough to scream every time i talk to her.

i felt a hand on my shoulder and i tensed. it was gentle and i knew she meant well, but i couldn't help my reaction. not today. gwen's voice was warm and concerned. "celia? are you okay? do you need to talk?"

the laugh that bubbled up and out had a hysterical edge. "okay? hmm, let's see. i got everything off my chest just in time to have an anvil fall on my head. no, gwen. i'm not okay. i'll live, but this is very not cool. and no, talking more isn't going to help." i wasn't going so far as to say it was a breach of trust. she hadn't actually told them anything or let them listen in. she just asked a few questions and used her instincts to see if i was telling the truth. i wasn't as angry as i was tired and frustrated. it was another thing, another straw on my back, and i could only pray it wouldn't break me.

the problem was that the most likely person mom would visit was gran and gran absolutely would help her hide from the police. i slapped a palm down on the armrest. "y'know what? let's just go find her. mom is a creature of habit. she's only been gone two days. one of them was spent traveling. i know every one of her hangouts. she wouldn't go anywhere new." i stood up and showed my therapist my told ya so look. "sorry, gwen. gotta go. one more thing i've got to get involved in that i don't want to."

"pr ... celia. we can handle this. we are trained investigators and more than qualified to recapture a prisoner." baker sounded confident, and yes, she might have reason to be. let's find out.

"maybe so. but tell me something, baker. what was your first impression of my mother?" those hazel eyes met mine for a long moment. "and don't feel compelled to spare my feelings."

she nodded once, short and solid. "i considered her passive-aggressive, manipulative, depressed, and angry. a classic addictive personality. frankly, i believed she was probably a flight risk. but ... i am not the one who decides such things."

that pretty much described lana graves. "good. if we can get her back, and i can get the queen to approve it, do you feel confident you could handle her security from now on?"

"i can make sure she completes her stay with us and doesn't injure herself. as for whether she can be treated-" she shrugged. "that depends entirely on whether she wants to heal."

i understood that. "then it's time to start making some calls."

i wanted a little privacy, so i borrowed one of the conference rooms down the hall from gwen's office. my call to gran wasn't warm or fuzzy. she'd definitely seen mom but wasn't talking. sure, i could have sent baker and natura to question her, but to what end? her silence when i asked specific questions told me everything i needed to know. yes, mom had stopped by gran's assisted-living facility. she'd borrowed money and left.