Chapter 38: Xixi, I Love You, Don’t Leave Me

There was a warmth in the late spring air, and he suddenly hugged her. For a moment, she couldn’t tell if the sudden warmth on the tip of her nose was his or the air.

He wrapped his arms around her, his broad chest pressed against her back, and he rested his chin on her shoulder and breathed deeply. Lin Xiyu subconsciously struggled, and he immediately tightened his arms for fear of accidentally letting her escape.

“Come back with me, okay? Little baby can’t live without you.”

His slightly hoarse voice rang in her ears.The tone of his voice surprised her, and it was seemingly pleading. In her impression, he had always been strong, full of confidence, speaking with an innate confidence. It was the first time she had ever heard such a weak, begging tone from him.

The weather in April had begun to warm, the spring was warm, and the fragrance of flowers spread in the air. The warm breath of his body enveloped her, giving out a special smell of the flowers that permeated her nose.

“Brother Junting, let’s part without hard feelings.”

After she finished speaking, she tried to break his hand away, and he stiffened for a moment before holding her tighter. He buried his face in her shoulder, and she heard his deep breathing. After a while he said, “Xixi, I love you, I really love you. I can’t live without you, don’t leave me, okay?”

His tone was hoarse, like a person with a serious illness. Each word was spoken with great force, but each word carried a loving and deep meaning from the bottom of his heart.

He told her that he loved her, and she was shocked beyond belief. Would a man like him say love to a woman?

At that moment, she even had a thought that he might really love her, loved her for a long time, loved her without her knowing it.

However, she immediately thought how this man was full of lies, thinking of his deep scheming, how he could play anyone for a fool, how he lied without blinking, how he had her fooled.

Her silence made his heart sink a little, as if she was telling him that she was not moved by his words at all.

He used his best strength to keep her, but she was unmoved.

He finally let go of her little by little. Lin Xiyu broke away from his arms and turned her head to look at him. Lu Junting’s expression at this time startled Lin Xiyu not that his expression was terrible, but such an expression appeared on someone like Lu Junting, which was too out of place.

However, she saw that his eyes were red, his brows were slightly wrinkled, his face was pale and his lips were pale and bloodless, as if he had received a huge blow, no matter how much he could restrain himself, he could not restrain the pained look from surfacing on his face.

At this time, his expression made people feel that he was suffering some kind of pain that he could not bear, and even the strong aura he had on him became disheveled.

It was as if, given one more gentle blow he would be overwhelmed and fall down.

Looking at him like this, Lin Xiyu didn’t know how to react for a long time, she really didn’t understand why he showed this look as if she hurt him, but it was obvious that he had been deceiving her, right?

Using her as a stand-in, tricking her into having a baby, using her, which of those things wasn’t too much? But people were compassionate, not to mention, this man was the father of her child no matter what. She couldn’t say heavy words to him anymore, and sighed softly as she said, “Brother Junting, we really can’t continue.”

After she said that, she turned and went into the room. This time he wasn’t chasing after her, she looked down from the window, Lu Junting was still standing in place, slightly bowing his back, just maintaining that posture that looked like he had been struck by a violent blow. The spring weather was obviously warm, but his figure looked lonely and desolate, obviously standing in the sun, but seemingly to be standing in another parallel world, that world without sun shone in, looking around, only bleak and lonely.

She took a deep breath and pulled the curtains closed, turning her back as she adjusted her breathing, calming the discomfort slowly.

Lu Junting stood until the sunset completely sunk that day before leaving. She had thought that she had already said the words like this, he should have figured it out, but she did not expect that he had been texting her the next day onwards.

It was all the photos of Little Baby, who was crying. He took photos of him crying and sent them to her.

“You see your son crying, don’t you feel sorry for him, don’t you care about him?”

Between the lines, it seemed to be coming towards her with his pressing aura.

The Little Baby accidentally got hurt and he sent her a photo of his injury.

“You see your son is injured, won’t you come back to see him?”

It was like doing a battle of trapping beasts, she even wondered if Lu Junting was crazy. Why he sent her this, she was angry by looking at Little Baby’s crying and hurting look. She wanted to call over and ask what he wanted to do, but felt that asking more was futile, and then she gritted her teeth and directly blocked him. She replied to his message before blocking him.

“Call me when you’ve thought about divorce.”

Little Baby began to cry again, and at this time he began to miss his mother, because in the past, his mother would come back at this time, but now his mother was not coming back, not seeing his mother, Little Baby was very sad.

Lu Junting posted the photos of him crying, but looking at the exclamation mark next to the photo, he seemed to be stunned. She blocked him, she actually blocked him.

He stared like this for a long time, then went through the messages he had sent her. She hadn’t replied to any of them, no matter how much he sent photos of the child crying, or even photos of her child being hurt, she didn’t reply.

And now, she directly blocked him.

How could she be so ruthless!

At this moment, the huge sense of powerlessness of not being able to escape his fate struck him suddenly, and he suddenly realized how different what he was doing now was from what her mother had done back then. Holding the child hostage and humbly begging the other person to come back for the child’s sake.

So would he become more and more excessive in the future, would he become as abusive as her mother to his child?

A sense of panic struck, and almost immediately he hugged the crying child, he hugged him, rubbed his head for comfort, and said to him over and over again, “Little Baby, stop crying.” As if to tell him, and as if to tell himself, “Daddy won’t be like that, Daddy won’t never be like that.”

He still remembered that it was when he was ten years old, and his mother’s mental state was getting worse. She often beat him with a very thick rattan, pinched one of his arms so that it was bruised, and specially took photos to send to his father, who had not returned home for many years.

She was crazy and wanted to force her husband back in this way.

It was the most painful period of his life, facing the torment of his most dependent relatives, he lived in fear all day as a young boy, and going home became his greatest fear at that time.

That little girl appeared at that time, and that day, in the gorgeous and deserted room of the Lu family, her mother once again beat him with a rattan, screaming hysterically while beating.

He had long been accustomed to her madness, gritting his teeth and letting her beat without saying a word. At that time, his grandparents were in their hometown in the countryside, and the old people were fond of quietness and wanted to go back to the countryside to retire. Their family lived in the main house, and because his father did not return home for many years, he and his mother were the only ones living in the empty house.

Cold, gorgeous, empty, that was his biggest impression of the Lu house.

It was midsummer, and there were cicada sounds outside the window, one after another, sharper than her mother’s voice, very lively, but still could not dispel the gloom and coldness in the house.

The door did not close tightly, he subconsciously glanced at it, and saw that a little brat poking around in the crack of the door. As soon as his eyes swept over, she immediately ran away.

When her mother was tired and took a photo and sent it to his father, he walked out the door expressionlessly, scanned around and did not find the little brat. Finally, he saw half a poking head behind a statue not far away.

“Get out.”

She timidly walked out from behind the statue, a little girl with a ponytail, revealing a small round face, a round face with a pair of clear round eyes, wearing short sleeves and shorts, revealing fleshy arms and calves.The whole person looked very soft, the kind of softness that made people want to pinch it.

She waved her little fat hand and explained to him with a serious face, “I didn’t mean to peek.”

“Next time you peek, gouge your eyes out.”

“...”

She trembled with fright, such a little girl was so intimidated by him that she didn’t cry. She still dared to come up, and pointed to the bruised scar on his exposed arm and said, “Brother, you seem to be injured.”

“Go away.” He was not polite at all.

“You are really injured. If you’re injured, you need to apply medicine.”

“I tell you to go away.”

Probably because his expression was too cold and his tone was too fierce, the little girl’s little round face suddenly overflowed with grievances. Her small mouth was deflated, and she was about to cry when she saw it, but she still endured it and didn’t cry out, turned around and ran away with a pair of small short legs.

The young Lu Junting sat on the steps, and did not care about the injury on his body. The number of injuries was more, and he didn’t feel much about the injury.

“The cicada noise forest is more quiet, the birdsong mountain is more secluded”, the sound of cicada made the surroundings seem quieter, and no one came to disturb him. He completely emptied himself, the wound on his body hurt, but as if he self-abused, quietly felt the pain just like this.

A trotting sound suddenly came, and he looked back to see that it was the little girl who had gone and returned.

Being disturbed, he was in a very unhappy mood, and said coldly, “Didn’t I tell you to go away? Why are you here again?”

The little girl walked up to him and took out an ointment from the denim shorts pants bag and said, “Aunt Yao said that if you are injured, it will get better soon if you wipe this medicine. I help brother to apply the medicine, okay?”

He looked at the medicine she handed over and was stunned for a moment, but his face became even colder. “Who cares about your medicine, take your medicine and get out of here.”

As a teenager, he didn’t know if he was tortured by his mother to become a psychopath. She was obviously a soft and cute girl, but his attitude was not good at all.

She seemed to be a little afraid of him, biting her lip and looking torn for a while, but she still stubbornly rushed at him and said, “You really need to apply medicine on it, or else the wound will get worse in the future, and it will hurt a lot.”

He felt that she was very annoying, giving a push on her. Who knew that she was even more unstable than expected, she was pushed by him and fell directly back to the ground. She frowned in pain and said to him with a grievance, “Why are you so fierce, why push people?”

He also felt that he had gone a little too far, and he didn’t want to bully such a little brat. But he kept his mouth shut and said, “I told you to get lost.”

She got up from the ground, casually patted the dirt on her body, snorted angrily, turned and walked to the side of the steps where he was sitting and sat down, pouting and she was getting angry there.

Lush willows swayed lightly in the air, the paths were covered with lush green grass, and there were cuckoo birds weaving through the willow leaves with their crisp calls.

The backyard on a summer afternoon was hot but quiet, and the two sat on either side of the steps, with a gentle breeze blowing up the fallen leaves.

Her anger came and went quickly, her pouting mouth slowly flattened. She glanced at him a few times and then tentatively sat down next to him.

“Brother, I’ll help you apply medicine, okay?”

How could there be such a nasty little child who couldn’t understand words?

He was about to drive her away, but when he opened his mouth, she took advantage of his inattention to sneak a candy into his mouth, catching him without warning as a silky sweet flavor spread in his mouth.

Her crisp laughter came, and she said to him, “Eat a sweet and you’ll be in a better mood.”

“...”

The sudden sweetness made his head empty at once, and he forgot what he was going to say.

And she had already lifted his sleeve, she squeezed the medicine onto his wound. He white and tender hands with flesh gently spread the medicine, and then blew on it a few times. Her soft and sticky voice gently coaxed him, “It doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t hurt, it will get better soon.”

A feeling he had never experienced before suddenly invaded, and the cold medicine was applied, the fiery pain seemed to ease a bit. The breath she gently blew on his wound sent a hint of coolness, and he really didn’t seem to feel the pain.

Since then she had often come to him, with a bag of candy and medicine. At first she was the same as the first time, hiding in the doorway and watching timidly, watching him get beaten, sometimes she would run away if she couldn’t bear to see it, but she would also wait outside, and every time he went out after beating, he could see her.

He still remembered one time, probably seeing that he was beaten too hard, this timid little girl rushed in, blocked him like a little warrior, and yelled at his crazy demon mother with a righteous face, “You stop, don’t hit him anymore.”

Her mother had no sense of reason when she went crazy, and she didn’t care who stood in front of her, what a small child it was. Seeing that her whip was about to fall on her, he hurriedly pushed her away and took the whip himself.

The little girl was also frightened and looked at it dumbly.

“Go.”

Only after being reprimanded by him did she react and hurriedly get up and run away.

Since then, she did not dare to run over again. She waited quietly at the statue, waiting for him to come out covered in injuries, and then feeding him candy and applying medicine to him.

Sometimes she would suddenly hug him and cry, crying so that her eyes and nose were red and her long eyelashes were full of tears.

“Crying for what?” He asked her. “Why did she hit you, why did she hit you?”

“Why are there so many whys? Besides, she hit me and not you, what are you crying about?”

“It will hurt a lot, brother Junting will hurt a lot.”

After she knew his name, she would always call him ‘Brother Junting, brother Junting’.

He thought she was funny, and he actually laughed. He said, “It hurts me, it’s not like it hurts you.”

“I don’t want brother Junting to hurt, wuwuwu, I don’t want brother Junting to get hurt.”

Probably seeing that she was crying quite pitifully, he comforted. “Don’t cry, I’m not hurt.”

“You lie, it hurts when I get cut by the grass. Brother Junting’s wound is so big, it’ll hurt even more, wuwuwuwu.”

She cried so sadly that he didn’t know how to coax the child. He pushed her up out of his arms and took a candy from her pocket and put it in his mouth and said, “I’m really not hurt, eat one candy and I’ll be fine.” He smiled at her face full of wounds.

Her tears finally gradually stopped, she wiped her tears casually with a pair of fleshy hands, and laid on top of him again to blow on his wounds, each time whispering, “It will get better soon, it will get better soon.”

At this time, Lu Junting, who had reached his prime, recalled this past, and he hugged his son in his arms tightly, the child with his and her flesh and blood.

She was desperate to divorce him, and she was anxious to get rid of him. When they were young, she was only three years old at that time.

She said if you were injured, you should apply medicine, otherwise the wound would become serious and it would be very painful.

But she didn’t know that he was injured now, and no one came again for him.

He closed his eyes, and the pain made it difficult for him to breathe.

“Daddy.”

A call from his son finally brought him back to his senses, he looked down and saw the little guy staring at his face, and touched his face with his fleshy little finger. Lu Junting looked down, and saw that his white and tender fingertips were stained with wetness. Lu Junting subconsciously wiped his hand, only then did he realize that he was crying.

Little Baby didn’t know what was wrong with his father, but the baby was sensitive. When he saw his father crying, he couldn’t help but feel sad, and his little mouth deflated as he began to whimper and cry as well. Lu Junting hurriedly hugged him, and he comforted softly. “Don’t be afraid, Little Baby, don’t be afraid, daddy is fine. Little Baby don’t cry, okay?”

Why were you crying? He hadn’t cried since he could remember, even when he was young, he hadn’t shed a single tear when he was tormented by his mother’s abuse, but now, he cried because she was divorcing him.

It’s really cowardly and pitiful?ah, damn it!

Just a week after Lin Xiyu blocked Lu Junting, she received a call from him.

“Come over to Changheng this afternoon and we’ll sign the divorce papers.”

With just one sentence, he hung up the phone, clean as his decisive attitude in dealing with things. Lin Xiyu didn’t know if Lu Junting really wanted to divorce her, or if he was playing some tricks, but she still went to Changheng after work in the afternoon.

Lu Junting asked his assistant to wait for her downstairs. His assistant knew Lin Xiyu, and when he saw her coming, he brought her directly to Lu Junting’s office.

This was the second time Lin Xiyu came to Lu Junting’s office. There was a big change from the last time she came, the recreational area of his office was demolished, and colorful soft cushions were laid down, Lin Xiyu remembered that Lu Yuan told her that Lu Junting would even bring his children over to work now, just for fear that the child would be snatched away if he didn’t pay attention to him, but she didn’t see the child when she came here today.

Lu Junting sat on the sofa in the meeting room, and when he saw her come in, he just glanced at her lightly.

There was absolutely no trace of the humble, depressed appearance when he had chased her earlier. However, this was the way Lu Junting should be, acting decisively and resolutely.

Next to Lu Junting stood a man in a suit, after she came in, the man pushed his glasses and handed her the divorce agreement in his hand and said, “Mrs. Lu, you take a look first. If there’s no problem, sign it.”

Lin Xiyu took the agreement and glanced at it, so this time he didn’t play the routine, he asked her to come over really to sign the divorce agreement.

Presumably, they saw that she couldn’t be used as a tool anymore, and now they had a new person to be the tool anyway, so they simply gave up on her.

That was good, it was good for everyone.

Lin Xiyu glanced at the agreement, and there was one that surprised her. Previously, Lu Junting asked her to sign the separation agreement for the real estate, and there was a clause in the divorce agreement. After the divorce, he would convert half of the real estate into cash to her.

And after she read the whole agreement, it did not say that she could not see the child. She looked towards Lu Junting again, he was expressionless and she did not know what he was pondering, a business-like appearance.

Lin Xiyu looked at it again and said, “There’s no problem.”

The lawyer said, “If there is no problem, the two of you will sign the agreement, and after signing the agreement, it will have legal effect, and both of you will officially divorce.”

The lawyer handed two pens to the two respectively, Lu Junting took it and without much hesitation, he directly signed his name in the signature column. Lin Xiyu also signed her name.

Then she took out a certificate of abandonment of real estate from her bag, she signed it, pressed her handprint and handed it to the lawyer. “I won’t take the compensation Mr. Lu gave me. This is my letter of renunciation.”

The lawyer glanced at Lu Junting, and she said lightly, “Let her be.”

Two clean words, without any emotion.

The lawyer took it and said it to Lin Xiyu. “Miss LIn, trouble you to leave.”

Thinking that there was nothing for her to do here, Lin Xiyu stood up and left directly without looking back. Quickly walking out of his office, Lin Xiyu stopped a car in front of Changheng, and it began to rain in the sky, pattering spring rain, hitting her with a lingering coldness. The scene outside the car window was blurred by the rain, as if entering a distorted world.

It was very strange, she thought that divorcing Lu Junting would make her feel relaxed, but at this moment, she didn’t have the slightest feeling of ease, and she couldn’t tell what it was like in her heart. Probably because of this bad weather, her mood was also like the gray sky outside the window, condensing the heaviness of the rain.

Lu Junting sat on the sofa, watched the door close, and then looked down at the divorce agreement signed in front of him. He slowly picked it up, slowly tore it in half from the middle, casually handed it to the lawyer next to him, and said expressionlessly, “Throw it away.”

If you want freedom, then I’ll give it to you.