Based on my dad’s narrative, here’s what happened the other night.

It seems like the guests above them really had some issues. Not only were they really loud, they also took a long time. After Auntie Ren and my dad were finally able to wait until they were done so they could sleep, they started their second round.

Auntie Ren looked ashen after hearing the female’s screams. She wanted to head upstairs and pound on their door, but my dad persuaded her to not go since a lot of people came to hotels for those reasons anyway.

But my dad felt a bit uncomfortable after saying that, since they were also in a hotel room together, would they also do it?

As expected, Auntie Ren nitpicked as his reasoning and said: “Since you won’t let me go, then you’re responsible for making them shut up.”

My dad had a bitter expression: “What can I do? They won’t pick up even if I call their room...”

Auntie Ren clicked her tongue, “Haven’t you heard those jokes online? They say if your neighbors make too much noise when making love, then all you have to do is scream louder than them to make them shut up.”

My dad was pleased by the turn of events: “Are we... going to make those sounds too?”

Auntie Ren was sitting on her bed in pajamas while using my dad’s laptop. A faint white light from the LCD screen illuminated her body, and my dad said she looked like a goddess.

But the goddess only glared at him, “Keep dreaming, I’m telling you to scream.”

“Huh?”

“What are you dazing out for, hurry up and scream. I just read online that as long as a man yells ‘Oh my god, you’re an incredible husband’ or ‘Husband, do me harder’, then they will immediately quiet down.”

My dad said awkwardly: “That’s too embarrassing...”

“What’s embarrassing? If you’re not going to scream, are you going to make me scream?”

He didn’t have a choice, so he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted bashfully:

“You’re an incredible husband~~?”

Auntie Ren spoke while glaring at him: “Harder.”

My dad continued to yell: “Husband, do me harder.”

“No, I meant use more force and yell louder.”

“But... I’m already using a lot of effort...” My dad drooped his head and said, “I can speak louder when I’m teaching a class, but this, I’m too embarrassed...”

Auntie Ren said with disdain: “Hmph, you can’t even make some screams, how dumb. You’re so useless.”

Auntie Ren hit a nerve and my dad lowered his head: “That’s right... I’m useless.....”

The people upstairs finally finished their second round, but now my dad and Auntie Ren couldn’t really fall asleep.

So Auntie Ren continued to use the computer while my dad began to read an issue of Scientific American.

Half an hour passed with neither of them saying a word.

Auntie Ren regretted her harsh words a bit when she saw my dad’s mournful expression from the corners of her eye, but she couldn’t stoop herself low enough to apologize. She got bored using the computer, so she got a 6 pack of beer from the fridge.

My dad bought this and kept it in the fridge before the quarantine happened. He didn’t have a chance to drink it as he was chased out of his room the same night. Auntie Ren also likes drinking beer, but she couldn’t really buy any during quarantine, so she held back on drinking.

My dad completely forgot about it, but got cravings once he saw it, so he asked pitifully:

“Can I also have a can?”

Originally, the beer was bought by my dad anyway. Auntie Ren would have shared it with him if he asked confidently. But my dad didn’t even voice his objections, so she replied:

“No. What happens if someone like you gets drunk.”

Then Auntie Ren gulped down all six cans right in front of my dad.

Not only did she drink a lot, she also drank it quickly as if she was afraid my dad would laugh if she drank it slower.

It’s easier to get drunk if you drink too fast. Auntie Ren got the hiccups and went to sleep after shoving the computer to one side.

My dad was a gentleman and didn’t try to do anything to Auntie Ren while she was drunk. According to him, all he wanted was to sneak over and check if there was any beer left in those cans. But he didn’t do it because he was afraid Auntie Ren would misunderstand.

After a while, when it seemed Auntie Ren was already in a deep sleep, my dad turned off his bedside lamp and prepared to go to sleep.

Who knew the people upstairs would start their third round after an hour of rest. If they are not going to die of bird flu, they are going to die from an excessive amount of sex!

It was in the middle of the night where men were usually stiff. My dad’s body reacted naturally to the screams coming from above. Right when he was feeling awkward, he saw Auntie Ren sway shakily off her bed. The silver rays of moonlight passed through the curtains and illuminated Auntie Ren’s thin pajamas. It outlined her sexy body and made my dad even more excited.

“You bastards think you’re so amazing?” Auntie Ren cursed while pointing towards the ceiling ina drunken stupor. Then, she accidentally tripped and fell onto my dad’s bed.

My dad hid his awkward part while supporting Auntie Ren.

Auntie Ren pressed down on my dad’s chest and pushed him down.

“Don’t touch me.” Auntie Ren was drunk and in a half awake state.

She sat on top of my dad without any explanation and pointed at him:

“There’s not a single... good man.”

She scolded him as she ripped off my dad’s shorts.

My dad couldn’t resist, so he tried to call out her name, but he got slapped in the face in return.

“My name isn’t something you can call! You scum, why did you go to brothels?”

“I, I didn’t...”

My dad tried to explain but was pressed down by Auntie Ren as she ripped off his vest and underwear and tore them into shreds.

At this time, the people upstairs were still going at it, but they only seemed to be background noise.

Auntie Ren had a conqueror’s look in her eyes as she looked at my naked dad who was held under her. She laughed for a bit before she threw off all her clothes and accurately rode on top of my dad.

It was like my dad was watching the perfect AV as he was describing the scene.

On the other hand, I felt as if I just received the death penalty.

Other than the fact Auntie Ren rode my dad like a horse, she also swung her bra in the air like a lasso. At the same time, she was making embarrassing sounds towards the people upstairs.

“Do you hear that? Do you think you’re the only ones who can do it?”

“Come down and I’ll gladly fight you, if you have the guts!”

Of course, she wasn’t forming full sentences, but my dad cut out some words he shouldn’t tell me.

Fuck, you shouldn’t even have told me this story since it’s not suitable for me. You were pushed down and raped! Why are you laughing instead of being upset!

I’m not sure if Auntie Ren was especially competitive or something, but she did it with my dad four times, exactly once more than the people upstairs. Then, she was finally able to go back to sleep.

And of course, the people upstairs realized their inferiority compared to Auntie Ren and never did it again.

historical

The next day, after Auntie Ren sobered up, she discovered her clothes scattered around the room. She held her aching head as she remembered the dumb thing she did last night.

Coincidentally, it was also the day they were notified by the health bureau that the quarantine was over. A racket could be heard outside in the hallway as people began to leave. My dad’s new friend, the fatty, knocked loudly on the door to try and notify them the quarantine was over. Auntie Ren was afraid of being seen, so she wrapped a blanket around myself, then she glared at my dad and ran into the washroom.

My dad didn’t know how to face Auntie Ren either, so he left to eat breakfast with his fatty friend. Then, he went back home to check up on me so he could also give Auntie Ren some space.

Auntie Ren was already gone by the time he returned to the hotel on Saturday night. But he found an incredible menacing note placed with his documents. My dad said it was too terrifying to read, so he burned it in the sink.

After telling me what happened, he rested his chin on the table as if reminiscing that wonderful night. At the same time, he asked pitifully on what he should do.

Why are you asking me? I’m the one who wants to ask how I should face Xiao Qin at school tomorrow! Obviously, Auntie Ren wouldn’t tell Xiao Qin, but it would feel more awkward for me because she didn’t tell her! She always respectfully calls you Uncle Ye, but she has no idea Uncle Ye screwed her mom!

Wait, no, it seems like it’s Auntie Ren’s fault this time, since she pushed down my dad. China’s justice system is imperfect, so we can’t report you, but you’re the ones who should be ashamed.

Well, since we’re all mature here, we don’t need to investigate who’s at fault... let’s just never discuss it again.

Because no matter what, I don’t want Auntie Ren as my step-mom. I mean anyone’s better than Ai ShuQiao, but then I wouldn’t be able to escape from Xiao Qin. Who wants a step-sister who only thinks about marrying you?

I might even have to live with Xiao Qin if Auntie Ren and my dad gets married.