Chapter 63 Budding Feelings
Anicia was trying her best to fall asleep, but every time she closed her eyes, the images of the corpses haunted her endlessly, and she felt like crying.
Anicia tilted her head turning to her right completely as she saw the 'pillow wall' and Ethan who was lying peacefully on the bed, although she could only see his back—she could feel that he had no trouble sleeping.
'Does he truly not feel afraid? How can he fall asleep so easily despite all that happened?' Anicia thought to herself in puzzlement.historical
Suddenly the image of Ethan shouting at her calmly with a firm voice to wake her up from the daze entered her mind as she stared at his reliable back.
'He was so calm back then.. While i- I almost became a burden to him. How is he so mature?' She wandered dwelling in her insecurities feeling inferior.
"Hey!" She muttered wanting to ask something that had been on her mind ever since.
"Hey!"
"What?" Ethan asked as he sighed helplessly.
"Tell me, why- why did you kill that girl? It has been weighing on my mind ever since." Anicia asked hesitantly.
"Why do you think? She was their accomplice!" Ethan blurted nonchalantly as he repositioned his sleeping posture.
"And how did you figure that?" Anicia asked in disbelief.
She had, of course, expected the possibility but it was still incomprehensible to her as to how Ethan was so sure of the fact that he threw the dagger at the girl without any hesitation.
After a moment of silence, Ethan finally opened his mouth as he unveiled the mystery, "When that girl suddenly got in front of the carriage, I was watching outside, I only had a glimpse of her but the way she moved looked very deliberate to me, the timing was too coincidental. Not to mention that what was she even doing all alone in a place like that without any guardian nearby with her at night? It's certainly not a place where commoner children would wander off to. At that point, I was only suspicious but not sure."
"That.. Does make sense, then what made you sure?" Anicia's eyes broadened in realization as she asked.
"The fact that even after getting hit by the carriage, she was still alive. She would have at the very least fallen unconscious from the trauma if not died on the spot after such an accident, and yet she even had enough consciousness to call out for help in a rather dramatic way. That's simply too much for a child to handle, don't you think?"
'You speak as if you're not a child yourself!' Anicia thought inwardly as she followed Ethan's reasoning curiously.
"However, even that wouldn't have made me act the way I did, as it could have just been a lucky coincidence that she survived and did not fall unconscious as well," Ethan explained further.
"But when we got off the carriage, I spotted some suspicious men amongst the bystanders. Men in black clothing covered their middle bodies if not their faces, although they didn't stand out like a sore thumb, there was still an inconsistency. The weather here becomes very humid in the summer and even at night people prefer to wear loose attire but they were wearing cloaks best suited for winter or monsoon," Ethan recalled.
"Hmm, but it could have been simply their preference, no? Many people go against the flow of things." Anicia voiced her doubts, still in confusion.
"Indeed, tell me this then.. if you are a bystander and suddenly you see a little girl getting hit by the carriage as she groans in pain on the ground, what would your reaction be?" Ethan asked a question instead to better explain his line of reasoning.
"I would of course reach out and try to save the girl.. But I suppose from a commoner bystander's perspective it would be too intimidating to approach the carriage of the White Family. I would at the very least be concerned for the girl and observe her condition closely from afar." Anicia muttered to herself as she ran the scenario through her mind.
"Yes, the assassins were decent actors, but not quite good enough. I immediately noticed that they had but not the slightest hint of concern on their faces for the girl. Presumably, because they already knew what was going on from the very beginning!
On the contrary, they seemed to be monitoring the carriage closely rather than the injured girl. Even though they were discreet in doing so, it couldn't help but catch my eye."
"I see.." Anicia muttered in disbelief, with a hint of sorrow slipping into her voice.
From one corner of her heart, she wished that the girl wasn't involved. The fact that a young girl was part of an assassination plot was too sorrowful for her.
"Anyhow, my gut feeling also played a major part, you don't have to lose sleep over this. I'm sure that my father will tomorrow provide some evidence of this. Now you should really sleep.." Ethan said drowsily as he yawned.
"But—"
"You know, I did that for you. I was still safer far away from the girl. Their main goal was to just lure me out but that girl could still have harmed you to gain leverage. I suspect she was a trained assassin and in reality, suffered little to no injuries. All that blood was probably also fake. I took the burden of killing another human being just to make sure that you were safe." Ethan immediately cut Anicia's intrusive thinking off with harsh words jabbing straight into her insecurities.
He told her this to change her point of focus from the 'poor little dead girl'—to himself.
And it worked wonders as Anicia's eyes widened when the realization dawned on her, 'Yes, all this while I have been thinking only of myself and someone who already died. But he.. He even killed for me.. how could I have not realized this before? Am I this selfish?' Anicia thought to herself in self-doubt feeling ashamed.
"It's really fine, only fools dwell on the past. What happened has already passed. You should move on." Ethan suggested as he closed his eyes again. In a way, he was also reminding himself.
Ethan made himself comfortable in bed as he loosened his muscles and cleared his mind, he would not wake up again for some time even if the world were to end.
He shortly fell asleep like a puppy, while Anicia found her solace gazing at Ethan's calm and reliable silhouette as all the things weighing on her mind disappeared like sand getting swept away in the howling gales.
Even she herself didn't realize it as gradually her eyelids became heavier while gazing at his back. A budding, peculiar, warm, and comfortable feeling began stemming in her heart as she smiled lightly before closing her eyes and falling asleep.