“I can hear you, cunts!” James yells from his bedroom.

Mark’s laughing now, much harder than I am. “I don’t know, but he’s fucking pussy-whipped and panics every time she comes to visit. She lives in Scotland, so it’s only like once a month, but this is how it always is. He’s always trying to impress her. That’s why he enrolled in uni, even if he already failed two classes.”

“And that’s why he fucks your sister all the time?” I raise a brow. James was never a one-woman man, that’s for damn sure.

James pops his head around the corner to defend himself. “I only see Carla once a month, and I haven’t fucked Janine in weeks!” He disappears again. “Now stop talking shit before I kick both your asses out!”

“Fine! Go shave your balls or something,” Mark taunts him, and passes the joint to me. He taps the label on the vodka bottle resting between my legs. “Look, Scott, I’m not into all this relationship-drama bullshit, but you’re not fooling anybody here with this whole act.”

“It’s not an act,” I snap.

“Sure, sure. All I’m getting at is that you show up here in London after being gone for three years, not to mention that chick you brought with you.” His eyes move from my face to the bottle, to the joint. “And you’re bingeing. Plus, I think your hand is broken.”

“It’s none of your business. Since when do you give a fuck about bingeing? You do it every day.” I’m growing more and more annoyed with Mark and his sudden need to pry into my fucking life. I ignore his comment about my hand, which admittedly is turning purple and green. But that shitty drywall couldn’t have broken my hand.

“Don’t be a dick; you can indulge all you want. I don’t remember you being this sensitive; you were fucking ruthless before.”

“I’m not sensitive; you’re just making something out of nothing. That chick is some random girl from my college in America. I met her and fucked her. She wanted to see England, so she paid our way here, and I fucked her again in the queen’s realm. End of story.” I take another drink of vodka to drown the bullshit I’m spewing.

Mark still doesn’t look convinced. “Sure.” He rolls his eyes—a pesky habit he picked up from his sister.

Annoyed, I turn and face him, but even before I speak, I feel bile rising in my throat. “Look, when I met her, she was a virgin, and I fucked her to win a bet worth a good chunk of fucking change, so, no, I’m not sensitive. She’s no one to me—”

This time I can’t swallow it down. I cover my mouth and dash past James, who ends up cussing me out for puking all over the bathroom floor.

Chapter sixteen

TESSA

This thing is like a little laptop.” I press another button on my new gadget. My new iPhone has more functions than a computer. I run my finger over the large screen, tapping on the small squares. Tapping on the small camera box, I jump back when an unflattering angle of me cringes back at me. I quickly close it, pressing down on the Safari icon. I type Google because, well, that’s my first instinct. This phone is so odd. It’s more than confusing, but I’m in no hurry to learn how to navigate the thing. I’ve only had it for ten minutes and haven’t even left the store yet. Everyone makes it seem so simple, tapping and sliding their fingers across the gigantic screen, but there are so many options. Too many, really.

Still, I suppose it’s fun to have so many options to occupy my time. This thing could keep me busy for hours, days maybe. I scroll through the music choices and am amazed by the idea of having endless songs at the tap of a finger.

“Did you want me to help you transfer your contacts and pictures and stuff to your new phone?” the young girl behind the counter asks. I had forgotten that she and Landon were here; I was so entranced by attempting to learn how to use this phone.

“Uhm, no, thank you,” I politely decline.

“Are you sure?” Her heavily lined eyes are surprised. “It only takes a sec.” She chews her gum.

“I have all the numbers I need memorized.”

She shrugs her shoulders and stares at Landon.

“I need yours,” I say to him. My mother and Noah’s numbers were always the only ones of necessity. I need a fresh start, a new beginning. My shiny new phone with only a few numbers saved in it will help that. As much as I always refused to get a new phone before, I’m glad I did now.

It feels surprisingly refreshing to start over: no contacts, no pictures, nothing.

Landon guides me through saving a new number, and we leave the store.

“I’ll show you how to get your music back. It’s easier on this phone anyway,” Landon says, smiling as he turns onto the freeway. We are on our way back from the mall, where I had to spend too much money on a week’s worth of clothes.

A clean break, that’s what this needs to be. No reminiscing, no scrolling through photo after photo. I don’t know where to go, what to do next, but I do know that holding on to something that was never mine will only hurt more.

“Do you know how my father is doing?” I ask Landon over lunch.

“Ken called in on Saturday, and they told him that Richard was adjusting. The first few days are going to be the worst.” Landon reaches across the table to steal fries from my plate.

“Do you know when I can visit him?” If all I have is my estranged-until-only-a-month-ago father and Landon, I want to hold on to both of them as closely as I can.

“I don’t know for sure, but I will ask when we get back to the house.” Landon looks over at me. I hold on to my new phone, bringing it to my chest without thinking about it. Landon’s eyes fill with sympathy. “I know it’s only been one day, but have you given New York any thought?” he asks cautiously.