Chapter 204 - To Kill Someone
UNEDITED
August 03, Wednesday - Sky City
"August is supposed to be summer. I wonder why it rained." Lily said while watching the thick, black clouds swirling all over Hong Kong. The rain started around three in the morning. Three hours have passed, and it seemed like the rain had gotten even stronger.
The grey sky rumbled, followed by a loud boom of thunder. Lily continued to watch the large splatter of raindrops on the floor to ceiling window in their room. It was like an endless waterfall, cascading the earth from the heavens.
"You hate the rain." It was Zhuo Jingren. The latter was holding two cups of coffee with a gentle smile on his face.
"Brings back old memories," Lily answered as she accepted the coffee from Zhuo Jingren. She looked at the swirling hues of brown inside the cup before she looked at Zhuo Jingren. As expected, the latter is already staring at her. "It was raining that night." She said, her gaze back to the splatters of rain.
Lily heard Zhuo Jingren let out a sigh, but she did not turn her head to look at him. He must be tired of hearing her stories, she figured.
historical
"Go on." Zhuo Jingren said. "Go on. I want to hear it."
This time, Lily looked at him. The sincerity in his voice was too adamant that even a toddler would notice it. The same honesty that was visible in Zhuo Jingren’s face.
"I was desperate." Lily started. "I... Qin Mo kicked us out of the Qin Mansion and I... I don’t know anything. I did not attend college and mother well... she is already old. No one would want an older woman to work for them. My small savings from my allowance was just enough for our rent, and I can find a job. I don’t know anything basic. So... I... I tried to apply as s hostess."
Zhuo Jingren’s brows instantly furrowed when he heard Lily’s story. For some reason, his research did not show this. All he know was that she and her mother got kicked out of the Qin Family then they got into an accident.
"Mother did not agree, and we got into a fight. I mean... that was the only way that I knew. We need the money, and I am beautiful enough to be an escort."
"So on my first night, she showed up and tried to drag me home. Of course, my boss got angry, and she kicked us out of the club. I was so mad I never to talked to her while walking. She was explaining and trying to convince me. She was saying something about going back. She keeps on apologizing about everything. She said her pride was too big for her to apologize. She was crying while I... I was angry and never listened."
Once again, Lily did not notice the tears that had been streaming in her face.
"I was walking too fast and she was trying to catch up while talking about giving me back everything that I deserve. And I honestly thought she was crazy or something. She was talking about going back to Europe. And other things that I am not aware of."
"Then I lashed out on her and ran across the street." Lily let out another sigh. "I was so angry I did not notice the car approached me. All I remember is my mother hugging me as the car hit both of us."
"All these years... I thought it was me who killed her." Lily added her gaze back into the man beside her. She did not even notice how she got into his embrace. Lily was too engrossed in her memories that she never noticed the Zhuo Jingren was already cuddling her. "I refused to tell anyone else about this as I feared they would blame me."
"My grandmother only knew that it was drunk driving. The driver was prosecuted, and well, he died just a year after I arrived in Europe. My grandmother said that the driver had some acute kidney disease at the time of the accident. And I did not asked her any more questions afraid that she will asked me the details of that night."
"I refuse to think about it and would get angry if someone would asked me about it." Lily scoffed. "I was a mess back then. When I woke up in the hospital, three days had already passed after the accident. And... they only give me her ashes. They said Qin Mo himself instructed it."
"After that, they told me that I lost my child and the ability to give birth because of the accident," Lily said. Then she took a sip of her coffee. "I was alone. On that night, I lost my mother, my child, and the ability to give birth."
"I was not able to take the trauma, so I tried to kill myself."
"Well... I failed over and over again until Qin Mo asked his people to send me to a psychiatric ward. And that was where my grandmother found me."
Silence instantly engulfed the room. Not even the rain and the occasional rumbling of thunder was enough to break the deafening silence inside the room. Still, Zhuo Jingren did not say a thing. His arms were around Lily. Last night, Zhuo Jingren assured her that he would be here for her, and she believed him.
Right now, both of them were aware that all Lily needed was someone to listened to her deepest secrets. She does not require a piece of advice nor someone’s pity. All she needed is someone that would listen to her.
"Hey, Jingren?"
"Hmm?"
"How does it feel to kill someone?" she asked her gaze was glued on his handsome face.
In response, Zhuo Jingren looked at the dark, ominous clouds swirling in front of them. "The first impulse that I got after killing someone was to flee." He answered. "To be honest, emotions would not hit you directly after your first kill. Maybe it’s the adrenaline. I don’t know. But when it hit me... I... It was pure mental torture."
Then he shifted his gaze towards her, meeting her light brown eyes. "It is something that I would not want you to feel, ever."