Translated by Neirith

Episode Nine – Let’s Build Our House (1)

Note: There is no ch. 73 because?the author was on leave and ????

After the bout of hot sex in the studio, Xia Zhi had been feeling nervous. He was afraid to speak to Ye Qia about his suspicions, but he always felt his butt was itchy and his dick was itchy. Every time he went to the toilet, he spent a long time examining himself down there.

“Xiao Xia, what are you doing?”

“Self-examination.”

“What are you looking for?”

“Testicular cancer and all that.”

“You can diagnose it like that?”

“Of course, come now, Director, let me tell you. You do it like this..”

Xia Zhi and his director put their heads together to discuss prophylactic treatment and precautionary measures regarding testicular cancer and sexually transmitted diseases for a while, without noticing the shocked expressions of the colleagues who happened to bypass them outside the restroom. In spite of his earnest self-review and justification, the company still bestowed upon him, the nickname of “Crazy Dick Watcher.” In his grief, he consoled himself that this was in the very least, better than “Rapid Fire King.” So, he pinched his nose and accepted it.

In lieu of this, he became even more anxious to undergo a check up.

“When are we going?!” Xia Zhi slapped the table with a mouth full of vegetables as he shouted indiscriminately, “You’ve been putting it off for a week.”

Ye Qia looked at him in confusion, “Why are you in such a rush? You want to do it raw that badly?”

“Yes.. Yeah!” Xia Zhi took advantage of this to say, “I like it! So hurry up and let’s go!”

Ye Qia glanced at Xia Zhi and made a sound of affirmation without speaking. That weekend, Xia Zhi’s long-awaited physical examination arrived. He entered the hospital enthusiastically, and as a result, came face to face with Magician’s beaming visage. “Come to get checked out?”

He had always feared Magician. Two of his exes had already been trained into M’s, and he had heard that he was already preparing to live with one of them, which was all very confusing.

“What are you here for?”

“I’m working. Why wouldn’t I be here?”

Xia Zhi was at a loss for words and became nervous. What if Magician tricked him?

His fears weren’t entirely groundless. In the middle of the examination, Magician followed him in as if it were natural, and jokingly shared a few words with the attending physician, after which, the physician gave him a weird look. Although his heart was pounding, he believed that they were in the presence of outsiders, and Magician hadn’t come out, so naturally he wouldn’t speak nonsense. Thus, he calmly removed his pants, and was about to remove his underwear, when he heard the sound of the door. He turned his head and was stunned to discover that only Magician remained in the room.

“What are you doing here?”

“Special benefit. I’ll give you a rectal exam.” Magician put on a pair of gloves and said with a crude expression, “Physical exam, nothing unusual. It’s better if I do this type of thing. Granted, even if there’s something wrong with my methods, will you sue me?”

“But, but, you’re not a doctor..”

“Do you want me to stick my medical license on your face?” Magician’s evil grin made him look exactly like a demon, “Come, take off your underwear.”

“No need, let someone else do it.” Xia Zhi had a face full of cold sweat and was grasping his underwear, crying without tears. “No need to soil your precious hands.”

“Don’t mention it, we’re friends!”

“No need, no need!” Xia Zhi gripped his underwear tightly, causing a racket. “Ye Qia! Ye Qia, come here, quick! Ye Qia, save me!”

The door opened, and Ye Qia came in like a white knight, a prince in shining armor. The prince expressionlessly looked inside, and then silently walked back out.

The door opened, and Ye Qia came in like a white knight, a prince in shining armor. The prince expressionlessly looked inside, and then silently walked back out.

Xia Zhi couldn’t possibly let his only opportunity to escape go, and flew past, desperately grabbing Ye Qia as he shouted, “Save me!” But before he knew it, he felt his butt grow cold. As he held tightly onto Ye Qia, he turned his head to see his poor undies had already been pulled down to reveal his bare anus, which was pathetically pointed at the fiendish Magician.

“..”

Ultimately, under Ye Qia’s direction, a new doctor arrived to give Xia Zhi a rectal exam, although he had to accompany him through the process.

“You want to run away, right?” Xia Zhi laid prone on the gurney, yelling anxiously, “Are you human? You want to escape from this kind of situation? Even a friend would accompany me! Aren’t we brothers?! Aren’t you a man?!”

Ye Qia sat on the gurney, eyeing his phone as he said concisely, “What do you think I am?”

“You’re an amoeba!” Xia Zhi said with extreme fury. “No, you’re shit! Amoeba’s shit! Amoeba’s shit’s shit! Amoeba’s.. Ahhh── !”

Xia Zhi’s blood-curdling screech echoed throughout the room. Ye Qia and the doctor both remained collected. After a few moments, everything was over. He laid on the gurney, looking like a frost-beaten eggplant, having lost two of his three souls, looking just like the main in the famous scream painting.

After the doctor finished reporting the results, Xia Zhi still laid there on his front, his naked ass showing as he miserably whimpered, “So.. so.. much pain.”

Ye Qia slowly said, “Oh, I forgot to tell you. This hospital’s male doctors are extremely heavy handed. Only Magician is the best.”

“.. Have you been examined?”

Ye Qia jumped off the gurney and began to swiftly remove his pants. “Not yet. But I used to come here for exams. If you don’t want Magician, I do.”

“No, you’re not allowed to have Magician examine you!” Xia Zhi suddenly regained his souls, jumping off the bed and pulling on his pants.

Ye Qia gave him a strange look. “Why not?”

“Don’t you think this kind of relationship is weird?”

“This kind of relationship?” Ye Qia found it funny. “It’s just a digital exam, it’s not like I’ve never had it before.”

“But I don’t like it.” Xia Zhi’s heart burst into flames, and he quickly reacted, pushing his anger down. He bitterly held Ye Qia, rubbing his face against his chest as he muttered, “Don’t let him! Not him! Not him! Please, please, please, please!”

Ye Qia gave him a roll of his eyes and pushed Xia Zhi’s head away as he said helplessly, “Fine. I won’t let him.”

Bingo!

If anyone were to peek into Xia Zhi’s heart at the moment, they would see a little horned devil brandishing a pitchfork. It wasn’t really such a definitive problem, but he was unwilling to be beat. Who told the doctor to make the exam hurt so bad, it was killing him!

He watched as an unfamiliar doctor entered the room. Ye Qia’s bare ass faced the door. His mood resembled a small bird perched on the edge of a branch, twittering with joy. Ten seconds passed, and nothing happened. Everything remained silent. When the doctor finished his report and left, he was flabbergasted.

“Aren’t you in pain?”

“I’m in pain.”

“You don’t scream when you’re in pain?”

“It’s not that painful.”

Don’t tell me it’s because I’m too sensitive?

Xia Zhi was befuddled. It should be the case that he should be less sensitive. While he sat in the examination room letting his thoughts run wild, Magician came in holding two reports.

“How does it feel to burst your anus?”

“Very good.” Ye Qia replied.

“Then when will you give your daisy to me?”

“I already gave it to Xia Zhi.”

Magician scoffed and handed the results over as he said to Xia Zhi, “Your report indicates you’re HIV positive.”

“What?” Xia Zhi suddenly became pale. “It’s false!”

“Yeah, it’s false.” Magician sighed. “Who told you not to let me burst your anus.”

“..”

—–

Neirith: Ah hahaha, how traumatizing. Xia Zhi must have serious white coat syndrome, but it’s not at all surprising with friends like that.