Vaudevillain

176 – And I Woulda Got Away With It Too!

Dr. Zlo skid to a stop, more to keep from crashing into the hero as he descended. Cass didn't halt in time, slamming into Dr. Zlo's back and pushing the villain forward a few steps.

The villain glared at his butler.

"Sorry, boss," Cass said sheepishly.

Dr. Zlo straightened his jacket and turned back to the hero, who waited patiently for Dr. Zlo to react. It was always nice that the NPCs made sure the players were ready to interact before starting the fight.

"Ah, another–" Dr. Zlo started before another voice cut in.

"Found him!"

Dr. Zlo whipped his head upward to see a group of heroes and villains, all from Menagerie, sitting on top of the buildings. One even had popcorn and was munching down on it. The villain frowned. He hoped they weren't here to intervene.

Dylan had no such luck. Two of the villains jumped down from the building to land in front of Dr. Zlo, fist-bumping each other as they faced the hero.

"Leave this to us, Dr. Zlo," One of the villains said.

"Yeah, bro," the second said. "We'll take care of this yahoo for ya."

"Not if we stop you!" announced some heroes on the building above. They jumped down, landing beside the pearly white hero and posing like anime characters. "In the name of the stars, we will punish you!"

Dylan had to fight to keep his fa?ade. He'd hoped for a small heist without interruptions. Now, heroes and villains alike jumped out of the woodwork to say hello and show off their ridiculous characters. Didn't they know Dr. Zlo was the star of the show?

"As much as I enjoy everyone's.. unneeded, interruptions. I would like to be on my way," the villain said.

"No way!" a hero from the roof shouted. "We're here to stop your reign of terror over this city!"

Dr. Zlo turned to the hero, "I would hardly call–"

"Save it! You won't wheedle your way out with fine words this time, Dr. Zlo!"

The hero launched off the building, performing three flips in the air and landing in front of the villain. He flourished and bowed, revealing a man in traditional superhero garb. Blue tights covered his frame, a red cape flowing out from behind him. On his face rested a small domino mask, also red. Matching both the cape and the mask were a pair of gloves and boots, blue streaks running through their leather like lightning bolts.

Dr. Zlo sighed, "It seems everyone wants to stop me today. Quartet, would you please remove these obstacles?"

Quartet started to hum a tune, the air around him shaking with power. The hero before him jumped back, conjuring a blue shield with a red spike resting in the middle. Quartet sent a swiping claw at the hero, sound coalescing to strike. The minion's foe brought his shield up, deflecting the strike to the side, which had the unfortunate consequence of sending the claw at the other group of players facing off. Quartet's attack struck the heroes and villains fighting, turning what was already looking to be a messy fight into chaos.

Dr. Zlo clicked his tongue in annoyance. He didn't have time for others to interfere. Constantine would probably return soon, and Dr. Zlo needed to be gone before he lost the fusion reactor.

"Who are you supposed to be anyway?" Dr. Zlo asked the hero in front of him. He was trying to buy some time to think.

The hero adjusted the shield on his arm, "Who am I? I'm the last beacon of light in the darkness. I'm the bastion of hope for all who cry out for help. When danger rears its ugly head, I am the one they call. My name is.. Shield."

Dr. Zlo stopped thinking of a plan and looked at the hero, "..That's it? Just, Shield?"

"Yes," Shield nodded.

Dr. Zlo cocked his head to the side, "Not the Invincible Shield? Or Shield of Light? Shield of Hope?"

"No, just Shield," the hero answered.

Dr. Zlo blinked, then waved a hand, "Sorry, I don't deal with heroes who aren't creative or interesting. Try to send him packing and meet up with us at the boat. If you succeed, I'll let you run a mission on your own someday."

A fire ignited in Quartet's eyes, and the minion started to sing a menacing tune.

"Hold on!" Shield shouted to Dr. Zlo. "I didn't pick the name to be interesting. I am the shield for all who need it. The hero in the night that needs no thanks. The protector of--"

"Okay we get it!" Dr. Zlo shouted. "You're a hero. I don't need the entire spiel."

"Seems a bit rude to interrupt my speech is all," the hero said, his voice growing soft.

Dylan rolled his eyes. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Not a minute earlier, Shield stopped Dr. Zlo's banter with an interruption of his own. The hero couldn't get all up in arms about it after that."

"Terribly sorry, but I don't have the time," Dr. Zlo said. "You see, there's this–"

"Found you!" Constantine's voice screeched.

"Oh for the love of me!" Dr. Zlo shouted, turning to the new interruption.

A large mech stomped through the streets, the very same machine Dr. Zlo caught a glimpse of in Constantine's villa. The contraption resembled a tank on two legs, the body long and angular. A series of pistons ran up the two legs, hissing with every step forward. Mounted on the top of the tank was a turret with an array of weapons that would impress any gun enthusiast. Rifles rested next to rockets, all surrounded by machine guns linked together. Constantine sat in the middle, or at least someone that looked like Constantine. Dr. Zlo had no way to know if the man was another robot in disguise.

"It's just interruptions Tuesday or something, I guess!" Dr. Zlo complained. "Cass, Mabel, Quartet! Change of plans. The Jacques will run interference while we make a break for it. Use your powers sparingly and try not to get caught in a fight."

The three minions nodded.

"Good," Dr. Zlo said.

"You won't get away!" both Constantine and Shield yelled.

"And that's where you're wrong!" Dr. Zlo countered. "For I am the greatest criminal mastermind! Jacques, attack!"

Dr. Zlo thrust his cane at his enemies, and his group of Jacques charged forward. Their arms windmilled in circles, trying to look as menacing as they felt. The first salvo from Constantine's mech made two Jacques into swiss cheese before the others changed tactics. A few ran around in a panic, diving into houses or trying to lift sewer hole covers to enter the sewers. A few of the smarter ones ran between the player heroes and villains, letting them soak up some of the attacks.

Shield grunted as Constantine's barrage of gunfire ricocheted off his shield. "We're on your side!" he shouted to the man on the mech.

"You're here to help me liberate Tractus from the Space City of Jetu by turning the space elevator into slag?" Constantine said.

"What? No!" Shield shouted. "I'm a hero! I'm not going to do a villain quest!"

"Then you're just another obstacle to crush before I can free the city!" shouted Constantine.

The Jacques looked at each other, one spinning a finger around his ear. The different Jacques agreed. Constantine was probably somewhat touched in the head. But it caused more chaos throughout the fight, the players now having to deal with a running Dr. Zlo and the mech that wanted them all dead.

"See you at the boat," Dr. Zlo told Cass as he rocketed to the sky. The two magical heroes looked up, slightly damaged from all the chaos but healthy enough to jump in the air after the villain. The two heroes pulled out wands and waved them at their feet. Magical symbols appeared around their feet, lifting them to the sky.

They chased after Dr. Zlo, waving their wands in loops and swirls to send blasts of stars and sparkles at the villain. Dr. Zlo evaded by diving behind buildings and performing sharp turns at random intervals.

"Surrender in the name of the stars!" the heroes shouted in unison.

"Does that ever work!" Dr. Zlo shouted back.

"Once!" one of the heroes answered.

Well, color him surprised, Dylan thought. Of course, that didn't mean he was going to be the second person to surrender. Although, Dr. Zlo might do it sometime as a trick. But not now, that would take entirely too much time, and Dylan knew it was getting close to the time he usually stopped for the night. Getting to Tractus had taken longer than he thought it would.

Dr. Zlo took another sharp turn, dodging the incoming blast of sparkles as he finally reached the edge of the city. He skidded to a halt as the ten or so heroes and villains sitting near the boat showed.

"What?" Dylan asked nobody in particular, Dr. Zlo falling to the back of his mind after seeing the ridiculous number of players on his boat.

How did they even know? Dylan hadn't broadcast he was going anywhere, and he knew none of his friends would just tell others. Did someone plant a bug in his house? Or had someone been following him the whole time?

Dylan was forced to drop the line of questioning as another blast from the magical heroes flew at him. He rolled to the side, diving into a nearby building to get some cover. Dylan knew he wouldn't be able to deal with so many players at once. He didn't have the equipment for it.

Cass and the others would have to know, of course. Dr. Zlo wouldn't lead his minions into an enemy camp, not even to use as bait. Well, he wouldn't use his important minions like Cass and Mabel. The jury was still out on Quartet, but Dylan didn't want to lose all that Sciencium. It had taken a lot of waiting to amass that amount.

"Cass, come in," Dr. Zlo said into his communicator cufflink. "Our escape ride has been taken by heroes. Don't go to the boat. Spread the word. I'll contact you again when I can meet up."

"Got it, boss," Cass said.