Chapter 3: Out of Control

I looked devastated.

“Tobias Mill..er?”

No matter how much I think of it, how could I think Alan had sent a letter to me? He didn’t even know I existed..

Even though it was simply a delusion, my face heated up. A situation like receiving a letter from the top idol in the social world is not something that can happen easily.

“Melissa, you don’t know him?”

“Huh, I’ve never heard of that name before..”

‘I can’t stand my mother’s nagging, so I diligently attend social events. Therefore, knew almost all the names of the attendees. People are surprisingly talkative, and I tend to be a good listener.

That was the first time I’ve ever heard about such a name. It means that the other person is the type that doesn’t have as much presence as me. Not to mention that probability is one hundred percent.

“Mom, I’ll take a look at the letter.”

“..Yes.”

My mother handed me the letter with a quivering face. Of course, my mother didn’t care if the letter came from a man of a great family. Instead, she was more happy because a man showed interest in me.

However, she seemed disappointed that I had never even heard of him. At times like this, is it called “a real bargain” in Korea?

(T/N: CEto is a korean idiom. The whole form is ?? ??? ???? which literallyy means “Better than a castle of bones than of stones”

to understand better: let’s say you’ll buy a skirt. One skirt is just plain while the other one is colorful and trendy. With both skirts having the same price you’ll choose the trendy one right? If you want a literal translation: “OF02 C o ” = “picking the crimson skirt if it’s the same price”),

Upon receiving the letter, I read it down at once. The content was concise and not long. The handwriting was not very beautiful, but it was enough to be labelled as neat.

Dear Ms. Melissa Collins,

The way you looked at the ball last weekend still lingers in my mind. I wander around searching for this quiet form and calm brown eyes which are similar to a lake even in my dreams. I’m consumed by a burning fever.

It may be sudden, but can the young lady grant me the chance to meet again?|| sincerely look forward to hearing your

answer.

Yours truly, Tobias Miller

After reading the letter, I trembled at the unfamiliar ticklish feeling. But that feeling wasn’t good at all.

The next day, I showed the letter to Viola, and she responded in the same way. Guess who didn’t become my best friend for nothing.

“....Is there even a brown lake?”

Viola, who fixed her eyes on the letter, mumbled with a strange face. I paused, then bursted into laughter.

“He might be talking about mud.”

“Ah! So funny!”

Viola laughed and slapped my forearm. When I stared at the stinging area with my eyes, Viola stopped smiling. She looked quite serious.

“By the way, I’ve never heard of this name before. Miller..”

“......”

Naturally, I was lost in thoughts.

The letter wasn’t long, but it was enthusiastic enough. Even if I had no dating experience, was not blunt enough to not know that this was a love letter.

However, I felt very uncomfortable. It was because I couldn’t shake the thought that this man named Tobias had misunderstood the person whom he was sending the love letter to.

“Viola. No matter how I look at it, I think this person has mistaken my name for someone else.”

“No way.”

Viola shook her head.

“Do you think this man pointed at some woman and said ‘Hmm, what is that young lady’s name?’ And someone who was beside him told him your name?”.

Tanswered concisely to Viola, who performed a skillful performance as if it was a play.

“Yes.”

“No way! I can’t believe it! How can he misunderstand?”

“There were so many people at Leopold’s charity ball last weekend. I think you were the only one who didn’t come, weren’t you?”

Of course, it’s an exaggeration. In other words, my mother, my father, who is currently stationed in the northern part, were absent.

But it goes without saying how crowded Leopold’s villa was. Even Viola, who couldn’t attend, knew about it.

“But of course, I don’t like your attitude of thinking it’s not intended for you, Mel.”

“I don’t know the definition of lake for this person, but the quiet attitude part. This is about you.”

“....I’m not quiet, I’m introverted, Viola.”

She pretended not to hear my murmur naturally, and Viola continued in a playful way.

“I don’t think our Mr. Tobi is such a sloppy person. The letter is a bit cheesy.”

“T, That’s true.....I hope he isn’t like my father,or is he?”

“Hmm, I don’t know . His handwriting doesn’t show anything.”

....If it turned out to be the case, I’d really like to refuse this love letter.

Then Viola jerked up her head.

“Mel, are you going to reply?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

Perhaps she didn’t like my immediate answer, Viola opened her mouth with a wrinkled eyebrow.

“Think about it, Mel. This is an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to completely rid sir Alan off your mind, with whom there’s no hope anyway.”

“But I’m sure you wanted me to write him a love letter..”

“Oh, did you really write it?”

11

“You wrote it, Mel. Oh my god.”

..Oh my god, I know.

‘I don’t know myself either, Viola,

*

*

*

The paper, which had been written down to praise him, was still stuck inside a thick novel. I didn’t really want to throw it away, but somehow I didn’t even think about touching it either.

In the letter that was going to be delivered to him-I didn’t know if I could deliver it-1 wrote my own poem. After all, confessing my love was unreasonable for me. Maybe it was because I had never done it before, so just imagining it made me feel like I was suffocating and my face heated up.

Anyway, I was glad that poetry was so convenient. Even meaningless words and writings could look cool if they were labeled as poems. So, what I wrote wasn’t a confession, only a poem.

It’s a shame to say it all, but here’s the start.

‘If only one season is allowed in my life, I will live a winter that resembles you.

But no matter how much I stressed on it being poetry, it felt like Alan would notice it for some reason. The fact this was a love confession to him.

So it could never be conveyed. We would not encounter each other in the first place.

.... It was only a few days ago that I thought so.

Tunintentionally encountered him. Very accidentally.

*

*

*

This is how the story went. On a leisurely weekend afternoon, I went out to town on my own. My mother didn’t like the idea of going out, and Viola had gone to Pickham to meet Jacob, so I couldn’t help feeling lonely.

In my hand was the reward I had received from my mother. The purpose of my outing was to buy an autumn hat. However, all i bought was a white ribbon as a decoration to put on my hat.

The reason for this was that I had gotten this hat from my aunt and grandmother several years ago and it had been sleeping in my closet since then. Since it was a basic item, it would look stylish enough if I attached a velvet ribbon which had become a trend these days.

And Mrs. Kerney was the best sewing artist I’ve ever seen, so what more could I say?

So after solving the hat issue, I still had some money left, and with that remaining money, bought a poetry book. It was written by one of my favourite female poets.

In fact, I have never bought a single book other than novels in the past few years. However, today, I was overwhelmed with an unknown impulse that propelled me to buy a poetry book.

I couldn’t deny that the untimely love letter commotion had contributed greatly to this impulse....

To be honest, I wanted to buy her new poetry book that came out earlier this year, but unfortunately, I was a little short on money. It would have been nice if I had bought a satin ribbon instead of velvet. So instead of her latest book, I bought one of her masterpieces.

“Do you want me to put it in a bag? Miss?”

“.. It’s alright. I’ll just carry it around.

When I handed over the money, a small book was passed to me. I turned around with it in my arms.

As soon as I pushed back the rusty door of the old bookstore, I could smell the fresh smell of the street in the early evening. I was very happy because I liked the unique atmosphere at this time of the day.

I closed my eyes and took a full breath through my lungs. The leaves were about to fall soon. It was the moment when I just started thinking about it.

“Ah..”

‘I dropped the poetry collection as I bumped into someone. The poetry book fell down onto the cold stone floor with a thumping sound. The book opened with the impact and its white pages fluttered in the wind.

The golden title glistened in the sunset. It was then that I raised my head as if waking up from a daze.

“Sor...!”

But I couldn’t manage to express my full, apology to the person who bumped into me and covered my mouth with both hands.

His black hair, as black as ebony, fluttered in the wind. As far as I know, there was only one person who had such perfect black hair that did not mix with even a single glimmer of light colour.

The icy blue-grey gaze fell on the book of poetry. I was holding my breath, counting his delicate eyelashes that were casted downward.

Alan Leopold did not bend over to pick up my poetry book. It wasn’t that surprising. Because I couldn’t imagine a picture of him picking up things that fell on the ground.

The only important thing at the time was that the distance between us was far too small as ‘we could smell each other’s scent.

‘If I extended my arms right away, I could reach Alan. I could even touch him. Recalling these thoughts without hesitation, I felt a sense of secret sin rising

11

.

The time when Alan’s gaze slowly lifted up seemed like eternity. And finally, when those cool, classical eyes pierced my pupils.

“P...”

Unknowingly, unexpected words popped out.

“Please can you pick it up for me?”

Alan didn’t make any expression. No, this was an expression, or was it? His features, filled with boredom, were as cool as a steel blade.

His face was so beautiful that he might not be considered human. It felt like I was looking at a masterpiece its sculptor had crafted with his heart and soul.

At that moment,I was under the illusion that time had stopped. Alan’s sharp chin bent down and his shoulders fell neatly below my eye level.

“Huh..?”

I just looked down with a surprised face as his elegant fingers picked up my poetry book.

The poetry book was returned very swiftly. Straightly, just like at the bookstore. However, the difference between the two situations was bigger than the one between earth and sky.

He still didn’t say a word, and his eyes were cold and dry. Nevertheless, he did me a favour by picking up my poetry book, and I should have taken it from him without blushing even

more.

Because the evening wind was blowing while waiting for him. As if telling me to let him go..

“.....”

But my lips and tongue were already out of control.

“I’ll be at the Antris coffee shop throughout the afternoon tomorrow.”

What the hell happened to me?

***

Comments from Korean readers:

She’s good at the real game.

Oh, my.

It’s so cute. A baby puppy who tries hard.

Oh, I’m trembling

The female character is so lovely. It’s so, so, so nice. The writing is so nice. I’m watching in awe!

Your thoughts control your actions~~~ You’re going to kick the blankets today! ??