The Zashiki Warashi of Intellectual Village

Volume 1, 1: Regarding Jinnai Shinobu(2/4)

either of us are scholars and we can live perfectly fine without knowing why we were born,” said the Zashiki Warashi with a thin smile. “Also, comments that sound full of significance or ancient experience are not really all that valuable. All of that only sounds so impressive because the differences between modern language and archaic language make things take longer to understand. That so-called significance is nothing more than what you see every day. If you said it in modern language, you would just be describing things everyone already knows. What value is there in forcing those things into old, formal language?”

I got the feeling the conversation would never make progress if I didn’t just give in there.

“...Can we get this conversation back on track?”

“I’d rather digress some more.”

“Why are you such a pain in the ass, you Zashiki Warashi!?”

“Oh, that’s another thing. I’d like to complain about being referred to simply as ‘Zashiki Warashi’. I don’t like how I was given a personal name and yet no one uses it. It feels like I have a stack of business cards that never grows any smaller.”

Don’t act like you know what you’re talking about when you’ve never worked for a business.

“What was your number again?”

“No, not the number string the government gave me. Did you forget my personal name is Yukari?”

“...Is it? Well, no point in remembering that. Zashiki Warashi gets the point across well enough.”

“What if there are two other Zashiki Warashi standing on either side of me?”

“In that case, good-for-nothing Zashiki Warashi or indoor Zashiki Warashi should work.”

“...”

Still smiling, the black-haired Zashiki Warashi that looked good in the bright red yukata fell silent.

And then she suddenly pinched my right nipple.

“Ky-kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?”

My entire body started to tremble.

Wh-what!? Is some unexplored door beginning to open!?

“...People’s names are important, aren’t they?”

“Wait, stop...Ayayaya, don’t twist!!”

“Aren’t they?”

“Ahh, ahh!! Yes, they certainly are, Yukari-sama!!”

“Fine then.”

With that strange approval, she finally removed her fingers from that protuberance of my body.

While trying to catch my breath I said, “C-can we...Can we finally...get back to the main topic?”

“I still want to digress some more...”

“No, thank you!! Let’s bring this back!! We’re backing up!!”

I had no idea how far off topic we would get if I let that Zashiki Warashi maintain control of the conversation any longer. Despite how I look, I try to be at least a bit on the S side of things! I had no intention of seeing those as two sides of the same coin and therefore developing in both directions, so my only option was to forcefully regain control.

“O-okay...How far did I get?”

“The difference in sensitivity between the right one and left one.”

“No!! Oh, I remember! I was shot by a hunting rifle!!”

That was when she had called bullshit.

However...

“The truth of the matter is that someone really did fire one at me.”

“Who? The Yuki Onna?”

“Someone. I don’t know who, but a human. I was shot at by a human. Only a human would go to the effort of specifically using a hunting rifle. They were clearly being cautious of the laws.”

“I suppose. In this Intellectual Village where a bunch of grapes costs 30,000 yen, the extermination of harmful animals like crows and boars is an everyday event. It’s true that even if the gunshot of a hunting rifle is heard throughout the village, no one will think some dangerous incident has occurred.”

That was what made rural areas so scary.

Normally, people would assume something was horribly wrong just by hearing a gunshot. However, the norm here was a bit different. The fact that no one would be surprised to see someone wandering around with a gun makes you wonder if the village was even part of Japan.

“So who was it? Did you happen to catch the Chinese mafia burying a mutilated corpse?”

“They wouldn’t bury someone in an area where nature is so highly maintained.”

“Then who was it?” asked the Zashiki Warashi.

I sighed and then answered.

“An inheritance agent.”

Part 6

My first thought upon hearing the gunshot of the hunting rifle was that someone was dealing with some dangerous animal. The sound hurt my ears meaning it was nearby, but I was in the mountain. A hunter working nearby was not too surprising.

It was some things other than the gunshot that seemed strange.

First of all, there was an electric car driving up the mountain road. Intellectual Village was an incarnation of the ecological and health booms, so that in itself was not too strange. However, it was unusual for the engine sound effect, meant to warn those who could not see it, to be deactivated. This meant it was approaching silently.

Second of all, the back window of the electric car was open and a man wearing a suit was leaning out and holding a hunting rifle. I had never heard of a hunter shooting from within a car, and someone pursuing a dangerous animal would not be wearing a suit. Hunters always walked through the mountains and wore bright orange vests. This was to reduce the danger of being confused for a bear and shot by a fellow hunter.

Third of all, a portion of the bus stop bench next to me shattered along with the gunshot.

The shot had not merely mistakenly gone my way.

The man was clearly aiming for me!

“...!?”

Who?

Why?

There was of course a reason I had been able to start moving before answering the questions that appeared in my mind.

This was because I could not properly imagine what kind of destruction a hunting rifle could do. Even if it had shattered a bench right in front of me, I could not imagine how much pain I would feel if it pierced my own flesh.

If it had been a knife or a metal bat, I would have been able to clearly imagine the pain and therefore would have frozen up in fear.

The hunting rifle’s power was simply so great that the silently approaching electric car seemed more intimidating. Since I felt the road was dangerous, I looked past the guardrail on the sharp curve of the mountain road and felt fear grab at my heart due to the 5 meter drop there.

The fact that the danger was so great actually gave me a way out.

I did not give a single thought to whether I could actually escape the hunting rifle by jumping from that small cliff.

Instead, I leaned over the guardrail simply in order to avoid the car headed my way.

I did not exactly jump.

I lost my balance and fell rolling down the 70 degree slope before I had a chance to mentally prepare myself.

“Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?”

My vision spun around and around and around.

Dull pain tore across my entire body.

My breathing stopped.

A stinging pain spread across every inch of my skin.

As I rolled down, I broke the branches of short thickets and the smell of the grass I was crushing gained a dark red iron-like scent to it. It didn’t feel like I had broken any bones, but I had no strength. My breathing was erratic. It reminded me of the body blow I had received in a punishment game once. I had overdone it. The pain and suffering was so great that I completely forgot about the hunting rifle and the electric car.

Reality was forced back into my mind by an explosive noise from overhead.

It was the sound of the double-barreled hunting rifle being fired once more.

You’re not letting me off the hook after I fell down a cliff!? I’m just a high school boy. I can’t think of anything I’ve done that would warrant going this far!!

“Dammit...!!”

At any rate, my only option is to find some cover and make a run for it!!

I dragged my aching body along and frantically started rustling through the underbrush and making my way between trees. That was when I realized it. If the man had taken time and aimed at me, he would have hit me. He had lost sight of me, and that previous shot had been to see if I would react.

I had fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.

The noise I made as I moved had to have given away my position.

I could feel myself paling, but what was done was done.

I guess I have no choice but to run to safety!!

The suited attacker would be hesitant to jump down from that height. However, he would eventually work up his resolve. I had to get as much distance as I could in that time.

Normally thinking, I could not escape from someone who had a hunting rifle by running. However, it was too soon to give up. The Type 32 from Yasuda Firearms the attacker was using was a shotgun. It was the same one the old man next door used. Compared to a standard rifle type, it had a short range. On top of that, the area was filled with high class Japanese cypress trees. The more distance I got, the denser the cover between us would be. From 40 to 50 meters would be the deadliest range. Once I made it 100 meters away, I would likely survive even if I was hit.

I may have been completely wrong about that.

That may have just been the mistaken reckoning of an amateur high school boy.

But whether I was wrong or not, that hopeful view kept me from freezing up.

I ran through the trees and trampled the underbrush while pulling out my cell phone. I could only hope for the bare minimum of functionality as even the lens of its camera was broken. (I had a smartphone too, but the Zashiki Warashi usually swiped it to use as a music player.) The nice thing about an Intellectual Village was that you got three bars of signal even in the mountains. For an instant, I was worried they could track me using it, but I decided it wasn’t worth worrying about. After all, the attacker was close enough to actually see me.

However, I did not call 110. Rescue would never make it in time. The ones who would take action first if I reported it would be the small police department in the village. Only one old man would be there at that time. If that old man was enough of an elite soldier to handle this situation, the people making high class fruits would not pay so much to hire armed security guards.

I made the call without hesitation.

My classmate answered with a voice lively enough to put the school sports teams to shame.

“What is it? Did you forget something?”

“Madoka-san. I have something I’d like to ask you!”

“I haven’t done the summer homework if that’s what it’s about.”

The thunderous roar of a gunshot rang out nearby. The dull sound of bark being ripped from trees continued afterwards. I ran on with the belief that my groundless, hopeful view was accurate. I had no choice but to believe it even if it was groundless. If I had let my fear catch up to me, I would have frozen up. And so I thought only about the convenient things that would allow me to survive. I fled. As I did so, I shouted into the phone half in desperation.

“You said meeting that Yuki Onna was dangerous!!”

“Right, right.”

“Well, you didn’t know anything about those inheritance agents being even more dangerous, did you!?”

“Wow, Shinobu-kun. So you’ve already figured that much out.”

“I’ll fucking kill you!! Why didn’t you tell me that from the beginning!?”

I heard the sound of flowing water and grimaced. If there was a river, the trees acting as my cover would thin out. The danger of being shot would increase. However, there was no stopping my legs. I knew it was dangerous, but I had no choice but to continue straight on.

Whether she knew my situation or not, Madoka’s voice was utterly indifferent as she said, “Eh? But I was hoping for a good story. It would’ve been a complete waste to tell you that beforehand.”

“...!!”

Thank you for the courage to live on☆

I’m gonna survive this no matter what so I can give you a good punch!!

“Inheritance agents advertise their services as ‘successfully transferring the client’s inheritance to the client’s person of choice regardless of the legal order’. I guess you could think of them as a group of lawyers that are a bit more active than most. I explained that much here at the Sanatorium.”

“They wouldn’t be carrying around a hunting rifle if they were a proper business! I’m guessing there’s some darker aspect to this!”

“The problem lies in their method of transferring the inheritance. Doing so while ignoring the legal order would normally be impossible. That means the client cannot give everything directly to their grandchild while skipping over their son. They know that would be stopped by the courts.”

The trees ended.

I stopped without thinking and found a small river and rocky riverside. Both together were about 30 meters across. However, I would not be able to keep up my usual pace across those hard rocks and in the water. But if I hung around, the attacker would catch up and shoot me.

“The clients first transfer their assets to the inheritance agent. This is a donation of assets rather than an inheritance. Sending it to some third person at that point is no different than a company giving it to a specific individual, so it can be given to a grandson or mistress or whoever else. The amount given is less due to a donation tax having to be paid twice. However, the inheritance agent can make back the amount lost through investments.”

“You mean like that day trading you love so much?”

“When it’s related to an Intellectual Village, they can also deal in high quality agriculture futures.”

The sound of someone moving through the underbrush and branches gradually approached.

I had no time to hesitate.

I knew it was dangerous, but I charged out onto the rocky river bank.

“If they succeeded in that, they wouldn’t be wandering around with a hunting rifle. So did their investments fail and now they’ve lost the assets they’re supposed to hand over?”

“No, they never had any intentions of giving those assets to the specified person. After being legally given those assets, they just keep them for themselves.”

“Then they’re just a bunch of con artists!!

“Exactly. However, they make hundreds of millions if not billions of yen per job. With that much money on the line, they’ll be willing to get rid of someone who has become inconvenient.”

I ran across the river bank covered in round rocks and then charged into the small river. The flow was stronger than I had expected. I continued forward while making sure my feet weren’t taken out from under me.

Don’t come.

Don’t come.

Don’t come.

If that man with the hunting rifle from that corrupt lawyer group made his way out of the trees, it was almost certain he would shoot me in the back.

“Okay, I get that they have a reason to kill someone. But why me!? I don’t have any evidence of their dishonesty and I never chanced across anything incriminating!!”

I had seen those inheritance agents going back and forth within the Sanatorium, so had I seen anything dangerous there? I couldn’t think of anything. I couldn’t think of a single thing I could have seen that would warrant shooting me with a hunting rifle and disposing of my body somewhere.

“Wait. Wait!!”

“What?” replied Madoka.

“What’s the connection here?”

The water filling my shoes felt quite uncomfortable. I couldn’t believe that people in the cities put a 300 yen price tag on a liter of the stuff. Even so, I continued on. I made it across the small river and started running across the smooth stones once more.

“You said the Yuki Onna was dangerous, right? Is there some connection between her and the inheritance agents!?”

“That’s exactly what I was saying.”

“!?”

A rustling came from a thicket on the other side of the clear stream from me.

At about the same moment, I made it across the rocky bank and charged into the trees of the forest.

I felt the gunshot reverberate in my stomach more than I heard it. Wild birds took flight all around me.

I had just barely made it.

But there was no guarantee I would make it next time.

Crossing the river had slowed my pace down by too much. I had somehow managed to hide in a thicket, but I was too close. The density of the trees around me was too low to act as proper cover.

A lead bullet would reach me.

However, I had a means of victory.

In the old days, rivers were often used as borders between lands. The simplest example is probably the borders of a prefecture or a city.

Private property was no exception.

And in an Intellectual Village where the agriculture was of such high quality that a bunch of grapes cost 30,000 yen, people made sure to have security networks that could protect their crops.

I only had to raise one hand.

The instant it was caught by the infrared sensor, something happened.

Something rose up in a straight line to block my path.

It was a wire security net with high voltage electricity running through it.

It was likely meant to keep out both dangerous animals and thieves. The beasts would continue on and be roasted, but a human would notice the danger and step back.

To make sure that the humans did not escape, a similar high voltage net rose up behind me on the rocky river bank. I was surrounded by the net walls.

I heard the slight static of speakers installed in the area being powered on.

They were most likely set to play a recording when the intruder was concluded to be human since nothing was “roasted”.

“Beyond this point is a mandarin orange orchard owned by Tanaka Farms. Entry of all unauthorized personnel is forbidden. Members of security are being dispatched, but Tanaka Farms is not liable for any harm done by the high voltage current before you. I repeat...”

I heard the sound of someone walking through a thicket.

The suited man carrying a hunting rifle appeared.

However, he had heard the announcement too. He had to know the unrelated security guards would be arriving before long. Even if he killed me there, he did not have time to retrieve the body and dispose of all traces of the crime.

We glared at each other for a few seconds.

Finally, the suited man slowly backed away while still aiming the hunting rifle at me. He then clicked his tongue and ran off.

It may have been due to being surrounded by those high voltage nets, but the cell phone connection had ended.

While waiting for rescue to arrive on that mountain, I muttered quietly to myself.

“...A Package, hm?”

Part 7

The Zashiki Warashi in the bright red yukata spoke with her cheeks stuffed full of the ohagi my overall small granny had brought us.

“Fi’m funfry. (I’m hungry).”

“What kind of starving character are you? And could you actually listen to my story?”

“I wonder why people fall for scams,” she said in a tone that made it sound like a Youkai would never fall for one.

She then brought another ohagi to her mouth. She was still lying down, so it was rather rude.

“It’s so obvious that’s dangerous from the moment you have to hand your money over to someone else temporarily. It’s not like you can demand your money back after giving it to them.”

“The ideal situation for a con artist is not some proper method that no one would find suspicious. They prefer something that looks good at the time and seems worth it even if it is a bit risky. That bit is what clouds over people’s rational decision making ability.”

“So something like a chance at being one of the clever winners in life?”

“Or they say they’re giving you some special advice because you were one of the lucky few to be chosen.”

My words put an oddly bewitching smile on the Zashiki Warashi’s face.

“So the desire to give your inheritance to someone other than your proper family is an attractive enough opportunity to cloud people’s judgment?”

Admittedly, that left a bad taste in my mouth too, but I would have preferred she did not look at me like I was the representative of humanity’s evil intentions.

“But from what you’ve said, they’re just a group of con artists.”

“Yes, and from how smoothly Madoka was able to explain it all, people must be beginning to catch on to their M.O. It’s probably at the stage where people just need some proof.”

“It’s that Yuki Onna that Madoka mentioned that catches my interest,” she said. “Since you spotting her developed into that hunting rifle attack, that Yuki Onna must be an important factor to those inheritance agents. Which means...”

“Which means it might have something to do with a Package.”

Part 8

After the middle-aged man who named himself the head of Tanaka Farms drove me in his electric-powered light truck to the sweets shop at the base of the mountain, I called Madoka at the Sanatorium once more.

“Ah ha! The connection ended so suddenly I thought you had died?”

“Well, I’m glad you’re delighted enough to let your character blur like crazy. But prepare yourself, I’m gonna give you quite the spanking later.”

“I think your character is getting a bit blurred too, Shinobu-kun. Anyway, do you still need something?”

“It’s about these inheritance agents,” I said quickly. “If you knew they had something to do with that Yuki Onna, then I assume something must have happened in the Sanatorium. Tell me.”

“Hmm? I have a good idea about what’s going on, but I have no proof,” replied Madoka with no hesitation. “Remember how I told you there was a room here where anyone who stayed in it would die?”

“Yeah.”

“It was actually never determined which room that was. There are a few theories, but who knows which – if any – of them are correct.”

“But for a rumor like that to get started, something strange must have happened. Something that would suggest the involvement of a Yuki Onna.”

“Yes. It was nothing more than some old men and women getting frostbite in the middle of summer, though.”

“...Is that even possible?”

“You can ignore all ecological issues and freely set the air conditioning here and people are often bedridden, so yes. A cool breeze may have been blown onto one part of their skin continually for hours and hours. However, once it happened 4 or 5 times, something else was clearly going on. The Sanatorium is both an attraction and in the service industry. Having incidents like that continue would hurt the image of their brand, so it seems the workers were a bit panicked.”

“But this rumor calmed down.”

“Yes, but the cause was never actually determined. If this was being maliciously done by someone, they must have completely stopped.”

“And you think this was the inheritance agents?”

“They were already coming and going when the frostbite scares occurred, but I haven’t seen any clear link between them. However, the old men and women who got frostbite all had immense fortunes. They were certainly the type the inheritance agents would want to target.”

“One question. You said the inheritance agents were coming and going at the time of the frostbite scares. Were there any victims of their scam in the Sanatorium during that time?”

“You’re quite perceptive.” It sounded like Madoka was smiling on the other side of the phone. “There were no victims at the time. From what I could tell, they had approached a few tempting marks, but did not manage to get any money from them. ...However, their scam grew quite bountiful once the frostbite scare had died down. I haven’t actually spoken with any of the victims though.”

“I knew it,” I muttered without thinking.

That left one possibility.

“The initial frostbite scares were tests for a Package. After they fine-tuned the power and the breadth of conditions, they began the real scam.”

“A Package...” said Madoka.

“A criminal system put together by humans using the characteristics and conditions of Youkai. It’s the stereotypical form for cases of spiritual harm.”

A cash card that can draw out an unlimited amount of money. A knife that can kill any number of people without the criminal ever getting caught.

Normally thinking, those items were impossibilities that could never exist in reality. However, that sort of thing could be achieved by cleverly mixing in the powers of those who were not normal.

The specific item seen on the surface was just the tip of the iceberg.

When the large gears of a Youkai and a criminal organization came together to form a massive perfect crime system, it was known as a Package.

Think of items like the Uchide no Kozuchi seen in old stories or the bullets created with demonic powers spoken of in a famous opera. Now, imagine such things could be put together as “items without form” as a means of committing fraud.

The worst part was that the Youkai used to put it together had no idea they were committing crimes or causing people problems.

A Yuki Onna would kill you if you spoke of being spared and would then disguise herself as a woman and marry you. A group of con men would very much want the use of that compulsion through promises. And since she would kill anyone who told, they had a means of avoiding anyone taking legal action against them.

The real problem was that the Yuki Onna’s promises revolved around the idea of marriage.

If they were free to switch out the marriage part, they could use it to force any kind of unfair financial contract on people.

“How did they get the people to make the promise?” I groaned. “Those frostbite scares must have been due to the promises failing. Or perhaps the people refused to promise. They might have been bringing the Yuki Onna directly into the Sanatorium at that time. But the inheritance agents must have thought of a different way of handling it once the frostbite scares suddenly stopped.”

“Are you about to ask me if I can think of anything likely?”

“Oh, you’re an esper!”

“Sorry, but I can’t think of anything!”

“Damn you!!”

I felt like crushing my cell phone in my grip, but my vision of the situation was not clear enough to know exactly what I wanted her to find. It may have been wrong of me to expect any results from Madoka when I could not even give her proper instructions.

I had no choice.

“I think I’ll head back to the Sanatorium. Will I make it in time for standard visiting hours?”

“Wait, wait. Shinobu-kun, weren’t you targeted by a hunting rifle?”

“That’s why I want to end this as quickly as possible. I’d rather not still have one of those targeting me while I walk down a dark path at night.”

“I see. Well, you’ll likely get here in time. If there are any problems, I can use my status as a regular customer to vouch for you. Also, you should probably use the bus next time. And not one that stops-->>

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