30 Chapter 29
Napaupo na lang ako sa sahig dahil sa ginawa nya. I know he's lying. I want to know his reasons dahil hindi naman sya yung tipo ng taong basta basta na lang tatapusin ang lahat ng wala namang dahilan. I asked River for help pero maging sya ay hindi din alam kung bakit nasabi lahat 'yon ni Asher.
I tried to be strong after hearing what he said. I didn't tell this to my parents. I can handle all this pain like what I'm used to since before.
Asher is not replying anymore on my text. I tried to call him for several damn times but his phone is always out of coverage area. Halo halo na yung mga bagay na tumatakbo sa isipan ko.
It's been a week. I haven't saw him even sa school. My mother's operation is successful and we're just waiting for her to bring back her consciousness.
"R-river, did you saw him?" tanong ko habang hindi maiwasan ang panlulumo dahil sa naging sagot nya. I even asked his teammates if they know something pero wala ding naisagot ang mga ito.
"I'm sorry, Kelsey. We also called him but it seems like he already changed his phone number." said by Joaquin. I told them that it's okay. If Asher really want to end everything about us, I just want to know his reasons first. Those times when he told me that he loves me, I know he mean it. I just want to know why things ended up like this. I want to know why he suddenly changed.
Hindi ko maiwasang mapaiyak habang inaalala yung mga sinabi nya noon. Mababaliw na ako sa kakaisip kung bakit. Why did everything turns out to be like this?
I don't care anymore if others will perceive me as weak right now. I just need to see him. That's all I ever wanted.
I was just looking at the floor while walking when I saw a familiar guy standing infront of me. Napatigil ako sa paglalakad at pagkatapos ay nag angat ng tingin.
Asher?
I can't help but to smile seeing him now. I am just waiting for the moment na lumapit sya sa'kin at bawiin lahat ng sinabi nya.
But what he did was the thing I never expect. I can't see any other expressions in his eyes. He looked at me as if I was a total stranger.
He started walking towards me. All I ever thought was he's here again to wipe my tears like he used to but I was so damn wrong. Hindi na nya ako nilingon pa at pagkatapos ay nilampasan.
"A-asher." my voice cracked after saying those words. Tumigil sya sa paglalakad at humarap sa akin.
"T-talaga bang hindi mo na ako papansinin? C-can we still fix this? K-kung may nagawa man ako, t-then I'm sorry." I almost kneel infront of him wishing if we can still bring back? the old times.
"A-ang hirap lang kasi na basta mo sasabihin sa'kin lahat ng bagay na 'yon ng wala man lang paliwanag. M-mahirap magmukhang tanga. A-asher, minahal mo naman ako di'ba?" naglakad sya papalapit sa akin. He get something from his pocket. Hindi ko alam kung tatanggapin ko ba yung ibinibigay nyang panyo.
"I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you. Makakalimutan mo din ako." malamig nyang wika. Instead of getting the handkerchief that he's offering, hindi na ako nagdalawang isip na yakapin sya. That hug didn't lasted because he immediately remove my hands from him. He looked at me. I miss those times when our eyes met at makikita ko kung gaano nya ako kamahal. He told me he won't get tired saying how much he love me pero bakit biglang naging ganito?
"Tama na." after saying those, he left me. Iyak lang ako ng iyak habang nakatingin sa panyong pilit nyang ibinigay sa akin. Wala na akong pakealam kung sabihin man nila kung gaano ako ka-desperada sa kanya. I only want one thing. I want him back kahit na itaboy man nya ako palayo. I won't let everything ends up like this.
"Kelsey, tama na please. It's all my fault. H-hindi ka sana nasasaktan ng ganito." niyakap ako ng bestfriend ko ng makita nya akong umiiyak dito sa loob ng room. I don't want her to blame herself kasi wala naman syang kasalanan sa nangyari.
"D-dont worry, maayos namin 'to." sagot ko. Kahit na masakit na, I will still do everything for him to accept me again. If it's true that he didn't love me at all, then I'll do everything para mahalin nya lang ako.
"What about your sister? Nasaan na sya ngayon?" Ersy asked. After Asher told me to end everything about us, I haven't seen ate Laurene. I asked it to my mother pero sinabi nya sa akin na wag na akong mag alala kasi maayos yung kalagayan nya. She's still saying in the hospital for some observations.
The next day, kagaya ng ginawa ko kahapon, nilapitan ko ulit si Asher. Muntik pa kaming magkagalit ni Ersy dahil pinipigilan nya ako. In the end, wala na din syang nagawa sa gustong mangyari.
"A-asher, are you free later?" I asked like nothing happened.
"No."
"What about tomorrow?"
"Stop this."
"I'll just wait for the day when you're free."
I may sound desperate right now but I don't effin care.
"Help yourself to move on. I will never come back to you, Haven."
I just let myself feel the pain because of his words. I didn't give up. I did everything for me to win him back but he always end up pushing me away.
"Kel, tama na. M-mahirap habulin yung isang taong pilit kang ipinagtutulakan palayo. You don't deserve a man like him." umiiyak na wika ng bestfriend ko. I tried to smile at her showing that everything will be alright. Maybe it isn't the right time pero sigurado ko na kapag ipinaglaban ko pa din yung nararamdaman ko para sa kanya babalik sya sa akin.
Until one day, I saw him with someone else. Nung mga oras na 'yon, halos hindi ako makagalaw mula sa kinatatayuan ako. I don't know what is his real intention. Kung pinaglaruan nya lang ba kami ng kapatid ko para gawin
nya lahat ng 'to. Gustong gusto kong magalit sa puntong iyon pero nakakapagod na din pala. I always end up hurting habang sya naman ay parang walang pakealam sa akin.
I'm just crying in the middle of nowhere. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta habang umaasa na lang kung saan ako dadalhin ng mga paa ko. I stopped walking right after I saw a car stopped infront of me. Lumabas sa kotseng iyon si Draven. I don't want to face him because I am too shy realizing that what he said were all true. Dapat pala nakinig na lang ako noon.
I just found myself crying in his shoulders. I hate myself for not believing on him. Only if I stopped this feelings since before, sana hindi na ako nahihirapan ng ganito.
"You don't deserve this pain, Remy." wika nya. He accompany me inside his car. Hindi ko alam kung saan kami pupunta. When I went outside the car, we're already here in the wide field breathing the cold breeze of the air. Sumampa kami pareho sa likod ng kotse nya.
Natahimik kami ng ilan sandali bago ako nagsalita.
"T-tell me all you want to say, Draven! Ang tanga tanga ko diba?" mainit na yung mga luhang lumalabas mula sa mga mata ko. I've been crying a lot of days at hindi ko alam kung matatapos pa ba lahat ng ito.
"You're not. Loving him is not wrong and it will not make you look stupid. Falling inlove with the person if it's not the right time is hard. Nothing's wrong with what you feel. The destiny is the one who should be blamed. Pinagtagpo kayo sa maling pagkakataon." I didn't understand what he said. I don't agree in the idea kung bakit kami nasa maling pagkakataon. I don't understand what he is pointing out.
"I'm sorry if I didn't tell you this. Asher is my cousin, Remy." napatingin ako sa kanya ng sinabi nya iyon. At first I don't want to believe him dahil matagal pa bago magproseso yung utak ko dahil sa sinabi nya.
"I-if you're his cousin, alam mo ba kung bakit sya naging ganito ngayon? H-hindi ba nya ako minahal?" walang tigil sa pag iyak kong tanong.
"I can't tell you but one thing's for sure. Makakalimutan mo din lahat. Makakalimutan mo din sya." dugtong nya pa.
"I don't want to forget everything." I answered. Kahit na nasaktan man ako ni Asher, ayoko syang kalimutan. I am always like this eversince. Gaano man ako nasaktan ng ibang tao, I don't want to forget them. I'd rather want to heal myself first and that l experiences will help me to become stronger. Ayokong makalimutan si Asher. Ayokong makalimutan yung lalaking sobrang minahal ko kahit na sinaktan lang ako.
"M-mahal ko sya, Draven. Sobrang mahal ko sya." sagot ko. Naramdaman ko namang marahan nyang hinaplos yung buhok ko habang pinapatahan ako.
"Look at me, Remy. I'll give you something." inalis ko yung ulo kong nakapatong sa kanya. Dumapo yung tingin ko sa kwintas na ibinigay nya sa akin.
He's holding a necklace with a locket pendant.
"Only two people inlove can see the purpose of this necklace. Always wear this until your paths crossed again." hinayaan ko syang isuot sa akin yung kwintas. He didn't say anything much kahit ilang beses ko pa mang itanong. He told me to just trust him sa kung ano yung mga susunod na mangyayari.
The next day, we're in the middle of doing our group projects when I heard my classmates talking about ate Laurene. I confronted Fraya and she told me the incident happened last night. Ilang araw na ding hindi pumapasok si ate. Hindi ako mapakali kaya't nagtanong ako kung sino yung may alam ng address nya. Umalis ako sa bahay nina Iya at pumunta kina ate. It's already 6 pm pero hindi lang talaga palagay ang loob ko ngayon.
Hindi pa man ako nakakarating sa bahay nina ate ay pansin ko ng nagkakagulo dito sa subdisivion. Mayroong mga nagtatakbuhan at nakarinig pa ako ng tunog ng ambulansya.
"Manong, ano pong nangyayari?" tanong ko sa driver.
"Tutuloy pa ba tayo mam? Sigurado po akong mayroong sunog." hindi ko maiwasang kabahan ng marinig ko iyon mula sa kanya.
"Manong, pakibilisan po!" wika ko. Huminto kami sa address na sinabi sakin ni Fraya. Kitang kita ko kung gaano kalaki yung apoy. May mga pulis at bumbero na ding nakaharang.
Agad na namataan ng mga mata ko si Aliyah. She's ate Laurene's concerned friend. Agad ko itong dinaluhan.
"A-anong nangyari?" kabado kong tanong.
"S-si Laurene. She was trapped inside her room, Kelsey. She didn't want to leave kanina kaya't ako lang yung nakalabas." umiiyak nyang wika. Mas lalong lumalaki yung sunog. I can't just wait here habang hinihintay na tuluyang ma-trap sa loob yung kapatid ko.
"Kelsey! What are you doing?" I don't mind what will happened next. I don't want to act as a hero here but there's only one thing I want to happened. Hindi kaya ng kunsensya ko na maghintay na lang dito habang nanganganib yung buhay ng kapatid ko sa loob. Yes, we have so much misunderstanding but I still consider her as my sister. Hindi na n'on mababago ang katotohanang magkapatid kaming dalawa.
I heard their screams ng walang pag aalinlangang pumasok ako sa loob. I immediately searched for my sister inside. I covered my nose dahil nahihirapan akong huminga sa kapal ng usok. I don't know where is ate Laurene's room kaya't nahirapan akong maghanap.
"A-ate!" wika ko habang iniinda yung sakit dahil sa natamo kong paso mula sa lumalaking apoy.
"Ate Laurene!" sigaw ako ng sigaw habang nagbabakasakaling maririnig nya.
"Ate!" nabuhayan ako ng loob ng makita ko sya. She was about to jump dahil pareho na kaming na-trap dito ngayon sa kwarto.
"Leave me here, Kelsey!" sigaw nya.
"Ate, i-ililigtas kita!" umiiyak kong wika. Hindi ko na namalayan na biglang may bumagsak na mabigat na bagay sa binti ko kaya't napahiga ako.
"Kelsey!" rinig kong sigaw ng kapatid ko. Maya maya ay nawala na din ang sigaw nya. Hindi ko na sya narinig pa.
Sobrang nahihirapan na akong huminga. Tears started to fall from my eyes realizing if this was my end. Iyak lang ako ng iyak kasi wala ng boses na lumabas sa bibig ko para humingi ng tulong. Kumakapal na yung usok dito sa loob at nagdidilim na din yung paningin ko.
Before I was able to close my eyes, naaninag ng mga mata ko ang isang puting liwanag. There is a man who holds my hand and at that point, I'm sure I'll be safe.
I was saved again by him.
By my guardian angel.