Chapter 108
There were some guys trying to win over her heart as if they could appreciate her worth, including the royal guard apparently dispatched by the sly emperor for her security.
When I came back to the capital, I hugged her as if to show off, controlling my raging annoyance. When I saw her hanging on to me with a bright smile, my always present emptiness seemed to melt away instantly. It was the first time I felt such a feeling.
Her shyness and trembling from before was gone. Now this little girl with silvery hair initiated an embrace, and the texture of her soft hair wrapped around my hands was so lovely.
“Allen.”
Damn it! At first, I first approached her with the idea of taking her away from my brother Alexis, and I felt good when she paid attention to me, but she became too precious a woman to me before I knew it. When I heard her calling my nickname shyly that no one else called, my empty heart was filled up with joy. When I saw my lady showing tears in her affectionate eyes, I felt so heartbroken.
Damn it! Now, I wanted to have all of her, not just her lovey eyes. Her blind trust in me was still fascinating, but her other things were as precious as her trust, such as her faint smile, her calm voice calling me Allen, her silvery hair sparkling like a river, and her golden eyes reflecting me.
‘I’m trapped!’
I thought I had trapped her in my net, but suddenly, I found myself trapped in the net. I gave a hollow smile, but I thought this was not bad either. As long as she looked at me, I could devote all of my body and soul to her, such as it was.
“Shall we move, Carsein?”
“Well, good.”
But I had to deal with this guy called Carsein de Lars.
His name was already familiar to me. He was born in the same year as me, called a genius like me and a duke’s son like me. I heard that when it came to swordsmanship, he was unmatched, but I was dumbfounded when I was treated as equal to him when he was only excellent in only one thing.
“Carsein, thanks for taking care of Tia while I was away.”
“.. ”
“I wanted to see you once. I don’t know if I will see you often in the future, but I’m glad I can see you here like this.”
“What the heck?”
It looked like Carsein was not stupid, given that he noticed I hated him. While trying to smile at him gently, I stared at him sarcastically. I would not have done so in other places, but as he was in my lady’s house right now, I needed to control the expression on my face.
“Hey, I think I know what type of guy you are. Why don’t you show your true colors?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve found out you’re trying to be kind to me only in front of her. So, let me see your true colors, dude!”
‘What the heck?’ I jeered at him. “Oh, you know what you’re doing, man. You look like a carrot guy!”
“What? Carrot guy?”
“Looking at the color of your hair, I think that’s a perfect comparison.”
“Hey, you little imbecile!”
“Are you going to challenge me now, you childish jerk! Come on if you dare.”
I smiled sarcastically at him as he raged with anger, shocked by my outspoken behavior.
But I felt so upset when I learned that he had been around my lady during my absence.
“It looks like you have become interested in Tia while I was away.”
“So what?”
“Piss off, when you can. She is mine. I won’t give her to anybody.”historical
“Why is she yours?”
“Dang it! What do you know about Tia, you bastard?”
I reflected on those memories one by one that vividly came to my mind even without closing my eyes. I suddenly missed this little silver-haired lady. I have to go see her soon and give this jerk a warning.
Why do I miss her so much when I’m away from her only briefly? My lady, you feel the same way, right? Hang in there. I’ll be back to you soon.
“She and I first met at two forty-three pm on the third day of the ninth month in 958 by the imperial calendar. That day, Tia was dressed in a simple blue dress, which was long enough to reach her knees.”
“.. ”
“Since then, we’ve met a total of 561 times. Today is our 562th meeting. In terms of time we spent together, it is 3,226 hours. ”
“.. What?”
“We drank 1,358 cups of tea together. We drank lemon balm tea the most among them, a total of 373 cups. Next comes Hibiscus, 294 cups. We hugged 901 times. I stroked her hair 1,384 times. ”
The carrot guy’s face was contorted. I could see his face turning white little by little. I felt a bit relaxed to see that.
“So, how long did you spend time with Tia? Can you remember?”
“You must be a crazy jerk!”
“Maybe.”
“Hey, does Tia know you are so crazy?”
“What do you think? Does she seem to know in your eyes?”
“Oh my god, you dumb bastard!”
I saw Carsein turning back and running away with a dumbfounded expression. Perhaps he will go bug her, insisting he’s going to reveal what kind of guy I am. Stupid guy. Do you think she is going to believe what you tell her? She has total trust in me, dude. I’m sure she will blame you, advising you against any bad words about me. If you still want to badmouth me, just go ahead as much as you can.
“It’s not the right thing to talk about somebody behind his back, so I won’t listen, Carsein. ”
‘Yes, you don’t betray my expectations, Tia.’
When I saw her cutting him off, I was so proud of her.
She was indeed so lovely. My girl, mine, my love, my lady. I had become obsessed with her, though it was me who tried to have her obsessed with me at first.
‘Just keep looking at me like that, my lady. I’m going to look at you only.’
Just keep staying obsessed with me just like I’m obsessed with you. Only long for me just like I’m anxious to have you.
‘Beautiful, Tia. I want to have you, my lady. We’re going to keep getting along like this. Got it? My lovely and precious little girl.’
Her trust in me and obsession with me would not go away easily. Nonetheless, I was nervous. I was afraid she might not trust me anymore. I was afraid she might look at somebody else with her golden eyes.
I thought I completely beat Carsein, but when he asked me why I didn’t know she was sick because of excessive training, I was really scared and restless.
‘Why didn’t you tell me about it, Tia. Why?
‘You can’t believe me? Or did he steal your heart while I was away? Or did the crown prince show interest in you? Why didn’t you tell me? Why?’
I felt like I was going crazy. Even though she looked at me alone, even though her gaze at Carsein was far from affectionate, and even though she was so scared of the crown prince, I was still afraid she might desert me. I was so anxious about her possible change of mind. What if I’m mistaken in my assumptions? I’ve come to the point I can’t live without Tia. I already knew how sweet and exciting it is to be around her.
Perhaps because of extreme anxiety, I stopped thinking with the rationality that I was so proud of, so I made a terrible mistake that was irreversible.
“Would you trust me, my lady? I can take off some of your burden.”
She showed me infinite trust, but she wouldn’t reveal one thing about her. She didn’t tell me how she got to have such deep darkness and madness.
I knew that it wasn’t easy for her to tell me about it even if she trusted me.
So, I did not ask her because that’s why I fell in love with her. I fell for her golden eyes filled with deep darkness and her maddened gaze. I thought she would be better off without curing it because I was afraid that after overcoming her inner darkness, Tia may discover her madness and abandon it. I was afraid that if she met those guys who noticed her bubbly personality and real worth, she might leave me.