Chapter 109
Above all, I found her most beautiful when she was messed up like now. Tia’s blind obsession with one thing thrilled me. Her obsession with her father, obsession with me, and obsession with swordsmanship. Her craze about moving forward while ignoring everything around her always thrilled me.
I was satisfied with her as she was, and I wanted to develop my romantic relationship with her slowly, but as the coming-of-age ceremony of the crown prince approached, I became more impatient. When I thought of her spending time with the crown prince, I was upset.
I didn’t like the fact that as she made a debut in social circles, she would draw the attention of many people.
‘She is mine. My lady.’
It was very annoying for me to see an increase in the guys sticking around Tia. I was nervous because she might show interest in other guys.
‘Don’t look at others. Just look at me. Huh? Please! Stay as my lady, like now.’
Out of impatience I egged on this unprepared girl to confide in me. I tried to persuade her with all kinds of sweet talk. I thought she would rely on me even more if I succeeded in making her reveal a darkness within herself. Then, it would be more and more difficult for her to leave me. No matter how many guys tried to approach her romantically or even if the crown prince noticed her charm, I would make sure she would never escape from me.
I promised her that I would never abandon or leave her, begging her to tell me about it as I would share her burden. I took advantage of her strong obsession with me, but I had no intention of healing her mental trouble. I just wanted her to hang on to me in her messed-up condition.
“I wanted to get out of that dream somehow. I didn’t want to repeat that pain. But..”
“.. ”
“Now I don’t know. I have no idea what to do or how to escape. ”
I wasn’t sure why she mentioned her dream. I felt betrayed, thinking that Tia, who trusted me, lied to me. As a result, I forgot to tame her gradually by going easy.
Alas, I should have listened to her more carefully.
I wish I had thought about why she, who had never talked nonsense, brought up her dream more carefully. How much better it would have been if I had asked her to tell me in detail instead of asking her what the heck she was talking about! Even if I didn’t believe her at that moment, I should have listened to her seriously and comforted her by sharing her pain and concern first because I could reflect on her story later. I should have noticed that she explained to the best she could.
I regretted numerous times what I had done to her.
I still couldn’t forget how her blind trust in me was shattered. Her erstwhile obsession with me and trust in me kept occurring to me. I couldn’t forget the day she looked at me like a stranger and rejected me.
“Can I ask you to dance with me as an adult?”
“It is my honor, Your Majesty.”
The young lady I saw at the crown prince’s coming-of-age ceremony was so beautiful. When I first met her, she looked like a girl who stayed aloof from reality, but she was now so lovely and beautiful. It broke my heart.
Wearing a dress matched with somebody else’s clothes, she was holding his hand and dancing with him. It was very painful for me to socialize with him. While I was watching her chatting with the crown prince and saw her turning her eyes as soon as her eyes met mine, I could not take my eyes off her because I was completely fascinated by her.
‘Don’t look at him. Don’t laugh at him. Don’t talk to him. Just look at me only, Tia. I’m only looking at you. Just look at me, like I look at you only.’
‘Tia, give me one more chance. Trust me once more.’
‘Please, don’t abandon me. Don’t leave me. You have made it impossible for me to live without you, and you have made me smitten with your ecstatic beauty. Please don’t leave me. I’m begging you like this. Huh? My lady.’
While I was hesitating for fear of being completely abandoned by her, she went down to her father’s estate. I felt like I was going crazy. Several times a day, I felt a swift rage of anger.
Should I go down there and take her right now? Once I take her, let me lock her up in a place nobody knows, so that you can look at me, not noticed by anyone.
I packed and unpacked my stuff every day. Damn it. I wanted to drag her here right away and hide her, but she was with her father, Marquis Monique.
Come to think of it, I didn’t even have a house for Tia while I kept vowing I would take her. How stupid. What’s the point of me being called a genius when I don’t know how to take her out of that estate?
So, I searched for the right place diligently. Money was not a problem because I already had a fortune. The funds that I stashed just in case I had to compete with my stupid brother were increasing rapidly even now.
Let me buy a house in a small countryside that nobody knows. As my lovely lady is going to live there, let me decorate the house with the best quality of stuff that she wants. Tia will definitely love it. She is going to look at me again with a lovely expression.
So wait a minute, my lady. I’ll prepare it perfectly for you, my little silver-haired lady.
When everything was ready, I wrote a letter to Tia. While trying to keep down my excitement and stay as calm and gentle as possible, I wrote to her, expecting she would certainly write me a reply.
However, no matter how long I waited, she didn’t write back to me.
I became more and more nervous. I shook off my anxiety about her while secretly decorating the house for Tia. So, I wrote to her again, but she didn’t write back to me.
If I hadn’t heard that Carsein was going down to Monique’s estate at that time, I would have gone there and taken her with me. When I thought that he would stay with her, I was so upset. But it was more urgent for me to persuade Tia to leave the estate first.
But I was bothered by the crown prince’s attitude during his coming-of-age ceremony.
I could beat Carsein anytime, but the crown prince was still Tia’s fiance. It was dangerous. I kept reminding myself that I should be careful of the crown prince and that I should have him take less interest in her.
“What the heck are you doing here, Allendis?”
“Hey, Carsein.”
“Why are you looking pale? Why did you come to me suddenly?”
“You also saw Tia and the crown prince at his coming-of-age ceremony, right?”
“.. So what?”historical
“Let’s join hands. Damn it, you know we have no hope if the crown prince takes serious interest in her, right?”
After thinking about my offer for a minute, Carsein agreed. Damn it! Shit! I didn’t really like it, but I kept saying to myself this was the best option for now, while calming myself down.
“By the way, hand it to Tia.”
“Why don’t you go down there yourself? Given your obsessive habits, I think you might have been there early on.”
“Well, I’m not qualified to visit her. Damn, I really hated to say this to you. Anyway, please take care of her well, Carsein. ”
I’m asking you for a favor only this time. And this is the only time I will leave her at your hand. I’m not going to make the same request again.
Only after I asked Carsein to hand the letter to her could I receive her reply. Nothing was written on the finely folded letter, but I was satisfied with it. Anyway, it was evidence that Tia started to open her mind to me again.
‘I won’t make a mistake this time. Let me start again. Tia. I’ll approach you more carefully, more slowly, and more warmly than before.’
She began to write more in the letter than before, which thrilled my heart all the more, but I had to keep a low profile to rebuild her broken trust in me
Whenever I thought that the silver-haired girl who wasn’t coming back for two seasons would be spending time with this red-haired guy, I thought of getting rid of him or dragging her to the house I prepared for her. Whenever I felt my anger soaring high, I wrote something down because I felt like I was going crazy.