Chapter 3
“Empress? I don’t want to be anything like that. I just want to go back home. I endured it until I could go back. Although I didn’t want it, I diligently learned strange letters and manners.”
When I heard that, I found myself boiling with anger. I held the hem of my dress with my hands that started to tremble.
“I regarded you as a sister, but I discovered you were a royal concubine, and originally designated as the empress. You didn’t become the empress because of me, right? I’m so hurt now, but now I’m a bad girl because of that. Empress? What the heck is that?”
“Are you done talking to me, Your Highness?”
I coldly stared at the black-haired girl. And I kept venting my anger by rebuking her subtly.
“Did you ask me what the empress was? She is the first lady of the empire. It’s never a position you can treat as trifling. You had better not shoot your mouth off.”
“..Tia? ”
I turned away from her who was gazing at me with trembling eyes. Though I thought I should not act like this, I couldn’t control my boiling anger.
“Did you say you just want to go back? Did you say you were sorry because you knew my title only now? Did you say you were sorry because you took away the title of the empress from me and as a result you were a bad girl? Then, why did you say you wanted to be the empress from the beginning! ”
“That’s because..”
“You are so cowardly. You did so because you probably didn’t know anything. I think it was probably difficult for you to refuse. However, I think you should be responsible for your decision, to say the least.”
I gasped for breath, now pouring out some of the emotions I have been holding back. She was trembling when I spoke.
“If you wanted to be the empress, you should have at least realized what it was.
Writing? Manners? Did you say it was hard to learn them, but you did against your will? Did you think the role of the empress looked so easy? You’re the mother of all the people in this empire. At the same time, you’re the only partner and resting place of the emperor who is ruling this country. You can’t afford to think about going back home while keeping your position as the empress.”
“I just..”
“You asked me if I was not angry at all, right? Of course, I’m really angry. I feel sorry for the emperor and my people. Above all, I feel sorry for myself. I think I wasted so much time helping someone like you until now. ”
“.. ”
“Just leave. I don’t want to see you complaining like this. I really hope you can realize how important the position of the empress is.”
I trembled with boiling anger. I felt so miserable about myself. Was I demoted to a concubine because of this kind of deplorable woman? Why did the emperor choose this woman instead of me as his wife? Why did he think she was so lovely?
“Tia, I just..”
“Please go ahead and leave.”
“I was confused that I suddenly fell into a strange place.. ” As she was hesitant for a while, she continued, “I found it hard to accept that Rub had another woman because in my country, no man is allowed to have another wife except for his legal wife. As it turns out, Rub’s other wife was you, who I like so much just like my sister. In fact, I think I came in between you and Rub.”
“.. ”
“Sorry. It’s a slip of my tongue. I’m really sorry.”
“.. ”
“..Let me leave now.”
I let out a sigh, overcome with fatigue. I pressed my stinging temple with both hands as I felt a pain there when I poured out anger. And I took a deep breath as my breathing was getting rough. I thought I was quite good at controlling my emotions. But these days I often flew into a rage for reasons I can’t explain.
I don’t know why I am acting emotionally these days. It’s not the first time I have experienced it.
When I saw the pile of papers on the desk, I just felt frustrated. The empress, not me, was supposed to take care of this work, but she didn’t know anything about the role of the empress. She enjoyed the privilege of being the empress and enjoying his love fully but didn’t care about her duty as the empress. I just feigned a smile at her disgusting behavior.
How long has it been? I raised my head, surprised to hear the door open loudly. He was standing there, losing his temper. How did he come here? I was very puzzled, but I got up and bowed to him out of courtesy.
“I’m honored to see the Sun of Empire, Your Majesty..”
At that moment, he slapped me in the face.
My head was turned back. I barely held back a groan, covering my burning cheeks with both hands, thinking, ‘I should not show him the ugly side of mine. ‘
He stared at me for a while and he said in a cold voice, “What did you say to Jiun? Did you tell her you were the legitimate empress? ”
“No, Your Majesty.”
“Then, why is she crying? Why did you tell her to leave? ”
“That’s because..”
I was speechless for a moment. I couldn’t figure out what to say. While hesitating, he seemed already convinced that I had spoken some evil words to her. When I met his cool eyes looking down at me contemptuously, I felt heartbroken just like I used to whenever I met his eyes.
Although I felt resentful, I didn’t use any harsh language towards her.
I felt it regrettable that she became the empress, but I’ve never thought that the position of the empress was mine. Actually, I had never thought so even before she appeared because he was
never warm to me.
“Do you really want to be my wife?”
“Your Majesty?”
“For what? I know that love is never the reason. There is no chance that a cold woman like you who doesn’t moan when I hit your cheek can love me. If so, what is it? Your family is still living in splendor and honor, so you don’t have any reason to be the empress for your family. Why are you acting like this? Are you going to give birth to the next emperor for the interests of your faction?”
Everything he said turned into a dagger and stabbed my heart. While I was standing by his side, I just tried to protect myself against those who tried to find my mistakes all the time. Even though I wasn’t loved by him, I wanted to be a woman who could love him freely and help him with what he was doing.
“Take it off.”historical
“.. Pardon?”
I could hardly believe my ears when he said that unexpectedly. When I looked up at him with trembling eyes, I noticed his eyes sparkling strangely. I felt goosebumps at his twisted smile.
“If you want to be my wife, let me make you mine now.”
“Your Majesty?”
“Why are you pretending to hesitate? Didn’t you say that, expecting me to do this? ”
“No, Your Majesty! Please don’t!”
While I was trying to get out of his rough grip, I begged him to stop.
I was so scared when he undressed me as if he was taking my clothes off violently. I was seized by extreme fear at the moment.
The moment I struggled to pull my hands from him, I suddenly recalled that he had never come to Jiun’s bedroom before. I don’t know why, but it was certain that he didn’t, because that’s what the court ladies standing outside her room said.
‘If that’s the case..’
I was trembling when I thought that. If I accepted him now, could he treat me a bit differently? If I had his baby, would he take care of me? Isn’t he a man who grew up alone without any relatives? If he had a child who could succeed him, couldn’t he care for me as the child’s mother?
I slowly stopped moving my body. I took a deep breath while trying to calm my heart that was beating like crazy. I said in a calm tone, opening my trembling lips, “Although I’m not your official wife, I’m your concubine, so this is not the right way for you to treat me. I want to undress myself, so please respect me.”