tears spring to her eyes as her face pinches together. she averts her eyes to the fountain. "i don't even know who i am anymore, o. i barely recognize myself and i'm drowning here. i don't know how to stop it." she abruptly swipes angry tears from her cheeks. "what i did was shitty, i know that, but please, o. i-"

"why didn't you tell me?" that's all i want to know. if she can give me a decent explanation, i'll forgive her just like i did seth.

she drags her watery stare to mine. "...because of your relationship with blade and your relationship with seth. i thought for once in my life not saying anything was the right thing to do. i thought i was protecting you."

"any other day, i'd be okay with that response." nervously, i rub my fingers over my palm. "but you haven't spoken to me for months now."

her brows furrow and she opens her mouth to protest.

"it's true." i cut in before she gets a chance. "you don't talk to me, not like you used to. sure we talk, we talk like distant friends do. we catch up and ask how each other is doing, but that's it. there's no intimacy to our conversations anymore. you tell everyone else my secrets and i've never really cared because i know that's who you are. i know the risk when i tell you things, but the second you have a secret you drop the blinds and pretend no one is home. how do you think it makes me feel knowing that you don't trust me as much as i trust you?"

selena whips her hands from her pockets and clasps them together in front of her chest, pleading with me. "you're my best friend, o. let me prove it, let me make it up to you."

"make it up to me? this isn't about making it up to me."

her face falls, defeated by my words.

"this is about honesty, and now that i've told you what i think, let's fix it together."

selena's dark face brightens, her eyes widening that little bit more.

"there are things jackson has told you that he doesn't want anyone else to know. i get it and i understand. quite frankly, i don't really want to know about him, but i want to know about you. i want you to tell me first when you and jackson fight-not maddi or darryl-me. i want you to call me whenever you want to-even if it's to talk about the shitty weather, and i want you to never, ever keep a secret if it directly involves me." i step closer. "seth told me what you guys had to do to get matt somers off our backs and when i found out, the kiss didn't hurt me, but the lies did. if there's one thing i hate more in this world than don russell, it's lies. i've had my fair share... don't feed me anymore of them."

she launches forward, unexpectedly crushing me in a hug. i circle my arm around her waist as she cries into my shoulder, undoubtedly wetting my hair.

"i'm having a baby," i say, feeling my lips twitch with the beginnings of a smile. "i don't want to argue over lies and truths. we're adults now... and i want you in the baby's life."

she nods, crying harder into my shoulder. there's a nag in the pit of my stomach that tells me there's more to this little breakdown of selena's than meets the eye, but i don't pry. if she wants to tell me, she will. selena abruptly pulls back and fans her face with her hand.

"sorry, i'm extra emotional today." using her thumb, she carefully drags it under her eyes, removing some of her running makeup. "jackson and i are officially finished."

my stomach shrinks. "oh, sel... i'm sorry. do you want to talk about it?"

she nods-then shakes her head. "i think i've cried enough today. maybe when it doesn't hurt i can tell you about it?"

"of course." i nudge her shoulder. "get an ice cream and join us. there's another fountain show in fifteen minutes. it does wonders for your soul."

with a smile she turns around.

"oh, and can you apologize to the boy for me?" i call out. "seth can be a real dick sometimes."

she gives me the 'thumbs up' and i turn around and head back to seth with an extra bounce in my step. all is right in the world... well, my world, anyway. as i sit down, seth slips his phone back into his pocket and i pray it's not matt somers. nothing good comes out of his phone calls.

"how'd it go?"

i rake my fingers through my hair and pull it over one shoulder. "it went well. we're okay. who was on the phone?"

he exhales. "mom called maddi and told her she's going to be an aunt."

i raise my eyebrows and take my melted ice cream back. "what'd she say?"

"well, at first she told me it's a cruel joke to pull on mom and that i should stop it immediately and when she realized it wasn't a joke, she chastised me for doing something so messed up to 'poor olivia,' but once i convinced her that it's what you want, she was happy for us. i think she's really excited about being an aunt."

"that's good news," i say. "i hope my brother takes it just as well."

"me too." he licks his ice cream in a way that makes me jealous. what horny idiot gets jealous over an ice cream? "i've never been shot and i hope it stays that way."

"he'd never shoot you."

seth quirks an eyebrow. i know. i'm not fooling anybody. chase can be very protective of me. "fine, let me rephrase that. he'd never shoot to kill you."

his lips spread across his face and he rakes his teeth over his bottom lip to hide his smile. "i guess i should buy a bullet proof vest, just in case you're wrong."

"it wouldn't be a bad investment. better safe than sorry, right?"

we laugh and the sound mixes together so sweetly, bringing me more joy than the fountain speakers ever could.

"when we're done here, i'm going to take you home and show you how much i appreciate you."

and he did.

he took me home and showed me exactly how much he appreciates me. seth went slow, paying attention to every inch of my body. he took it old school, romancing me without a word. his hands caressed instead of gripped, his tongue tasted instead of fucked and his hips rolled against me instead of slamming into me. over and over he told me how much he loved me...

...and i believed every word he said.

chapter fifteen

seth

after the weigh in, the days passed quickly, all of them uneventful. selena stayed with us and i barely saw jackson. he spent most of his time out and about doing god knows what with god knows who. i spent most of mine talking strategies with darryl while olivia hung out with selena. i listened to whatever darryl had to say, but at the end of the day, this is my fight and don will pay however i see fit...

...and now we're here. fight night.

"he can take everything you've worked so hard for, seth." darryl's voice chimes through my brain and my blood vibrates in my veins, like i'm a strip of metal that's been zapped by lightning.

fight. fucking. night. the night i've been waiting for for months now. this is the last night i'm going to prepare in a room like this. this is the last time my hands are going to be wrapped for a professional fight and this is the last time i'm going to fight in front of tens of thousands of people. the room is quiet. the only sound filling my ears is the rapid beating of my heart. i pace back and forth, back and forth. the cool cement under my feet tickles the soles, but they're barely noticed. the tingles in my chest are more predominant tonight. for the last time, i'm warmed up and ready to go. i clench and unclench my hands, testing my wraps and gloves. unlike last time, there's still enough room for blood to flow to the tips of my fingers. i bounce on the balls of my feet and swing my arms-moving them to my favorite pre-fight combo. i ignore everyone else in the room on purpose. my mind is on this fight and this fight alone. i'm prepared-more than prepared. no secrets hold me down and no worries linger at the back of my mind. don could've ruined my marriage with the stunt he played at the weigh in and now he's going to pay for it.

i pull at the neck of my hoodie, growing uncomfortable in it. i want to tear it off and do this thing now. i want to fight now, not in-i glance at the clock-twenty minutes. i don't want to wait twenty minutes to destroy don's career and then kick mine to the curb.

it's kind of surreal actually, knowing this is it for me. after this, i never have to experience pre-fight jitters and i don't have to push my body to the brink of exhaustion every day. i can be normal... i can lead a normal life with my wife and my kid.

"rope," darryl says, handing me the jump rope.

without a word i take it from his hands and get to it. i don't want my body to relax for a second. i need to be quick and strong... i will be quick and strong.

i see olivia out of the corner of my eye sitting on a chair against the wall. she's wearing a tight 'seth' shirt. since she's sitting in my corner tonight and forgot her baggier one, the mmac issued her this one. i'm certain they gave her a size too small on purpose. it clings to her gorgeous curves and exposes the tiniest baby 'bump' i've ever seen. it's not much considering she's still very early in her pregnancy, but at least it's a start. if you didn't know she was pregnant, you wouldn't notice, but i see and touch her body every day.

i can feel her eyes on me, watching every move i make. i love it when she watches me. i love what it does to her. i turn my head and my eyes catch hers. instantly, her cheeks darken and her lips curl bashfully. whatever she's doing, it makes my body burn. i toss the rope to the side of the room and look at darryl. i don't even have to say it. he knows what i want. with a nod, he opens the door. "everyone out."

they all leave without protest and the room falls silent as the door closes behind them. olivia's chair scrapes against the concrete as she lifts herself from it. with a cautious inhale, she runs the palm of her hands over the thighs of her jeans.

"i like your shirt," i tell her. "i look good on you."

she smiles shyly, her cheeks warming as she recollects the line i used on her during that very first fight in portland.

"yes," she replies, inching closer. "yes, you do."

olivia tucks a thick strand of long, chocolate hair behind her ear. "are you nervous?"

when she's close enough, i wrap my arms around her waist and pull her closer. "no."

i stare down at her face, our eyes locked together. she sure is pretty... having her close reminds me of the first fight she came to. we were so different back then, in a completely different place all together. she wanted nothing to do with me and i was desperately trying to get in her pants... and then i'd change my mind and try to get back out again. i was a dick, missing the commitment gene and she was the innocent girl unknowingly looking to find something redeemable about love. and she found it.

she nudges me. "what?"

the corner of my lip twitches upwards. "we've come so far, haven't we?"

"yeah.' she chuckles under her breath. "i guess we have."

"this is the last time we're going to be in a room like this together... how do you feel?"

a small smile plays on her lips as she runs her hands up my arms, squeezing me through the fabric of my hoodie. "as long as i have you, i don't care what room we're in. how do you feel?"

better now you're touching me. "i feel... ready. i feel content."

her hands slide up over my shoulders and hook around my neck. she pulls me closer, slowly. as her lips graze mine, the door opens. she snaps away from me as a douchebag holding a camera aims it right at us. the light on the side is flashing red and olivia refuses to look at it. if this were any other day, i'd take his camera and slam it against the concrete wall, but since it's my last fight, i guess his camera can live to see another day.

"time to go, seth," jackson calls from behind the cameraman.

well, there's no way i'm going to miss out on my pre-fight kiss because of the camera. i snap forward and grab olivia. as i pull her in, i press my hand to the camera lens, blocking the view as i crush my lips against hers. the guy tries to pull his camera free, so i squeeze on the thin metal tube holding the lens. sure enough, it cracks and olivia pulls away from me with a gasp.

"oh my god, seth," she gasps, turning to the man. "i'm so sorry."

"oh," i gasp, mimicking her and letting go of his camera. "i'm so sorry."

the cameraman's glare deepens at my sarcasm and with a smirk, i snag olivia's wrist and push past him.

"i can't believe you did that," she snaps under her breath.

i laugh, slinging my arm over her shoulder. "next time he'll remember to knock."

she huffs beside me, but i can't stop smiling. i thought it was funny. out in the hallway, i hear my music playing loudly. it flows through me, working me up into a ball of aggressive energy. i stop before the two large double doors and turn around. i pass olivia to jackson and rip off my hoodie. darryl and a member of the mmac i've never seen before start rubbing vaseline over the sharp edges of my face. i hate the feel of the thick substance, but it's better than getting cut across the eyebrow, that's for sure. darryl shoves my mouth guard in my mouth and the doors are pulled open. for the last time in my life a sea of people fill the arena before me and chant my name. lights are flashing and posters with my name all over them are being held high. it's a bitter sweet moment for me, so i take my time and absorb it all in...