turned out , my first "date" with jean-luc was a double. jean-luc and me, tanner and elaine. the latter pair was here to watch for dr. roberts. just in case. sherridan was pouting at home, keeping my dogs company. (i missed them already.) rome was...i don't know where. he'd said he had no plans to come and i couldn't see him in the dim lighting of the bustling restaurant. but i could feel his eyes on me, watching.

wishful thinking?

he'd arrived at my house two hours before jean-luc had come to pick me up. and yes, he'd brought sunny. that sweet little girl who looked like lexis but had rome's indomitable spirit had leaped into my arms, giggling and unaware her world was about to be rocked.

"i missed you so very much," i'd told her.

she'd kissed my cheek and looked up at me, beaming. "i missed you, too, and guess what?"

"what?"

"you got it right."

my brow furrowed. "what do you mean?"

"you came home when you was 'post to."

ah, our negotiation. i smiled at her, my chest aching, my throat constricting. how many more would we be allowed? "come on, scamp. i want to introduce you to our new friends." we'd played with the dogs for over an hour. and yes, we'd put them in pink dresses with ruffles and bows. (they'd been adorable!) i'd tried to pull rome aside for a private chat, but he'd said, "john told me about the note. he's worried dr. roberts will try and hurt you, despite what he said about making peace."

"i know." he'd told me the same thing. after he'd congratulated me on the successful apprehension of desert gall and i'd beamed like the sun in shock and pleasure. "he's placing me under surveillance for a while, in case the note was meant to lure me into a false sense of security. i'm supposed to act like everything's normal." which i couldn't do until i had this rome and jean-luc thing figured out.

i wanted rome in my life, and i wasn't letting him go. if he cut me out of his, fine. but i wasn't going easily. once these dates with jean-luc were out of the way, i was going to fight for my man like i should have done from the beginning. fight harder than i'd ever fought a scrim.

yeah, if i convinced him to keep me around, we desperately needed to discuss our future. like whether or not we wanted children. and i needed to know he would be okay with my being an in-the-middle-of-the-action agent. he'd said he would always want to protect me. now i wondered why i'd ever thought that was a bad idea.

stupid belle.i'd let my fears get the better of me and had begun to look for reasons to end things. no more.

if we disagreed about something, we could hash it out and reach a compromise. as long as we were together, nothing else mattered. all relationships were work, after all. it was who you wanted to put that work into that mattered. and i was willing to work for - and with - rome.

was he willing to work for me?

when the time had come for rome and sunny to leave, rome hadn't kissed me goodbye. hadn't said goodbye for that matter. leaving had gone something like this: sunny: "no! i'm staying." she'd been angry at that point, but had calmed herself down, the anger turning to sadness - and then tears. "i haven't seen you in a long time. i miss you. i don't want to go!

you've been gone for forever."

me, hating myself: "i don't want you to go, either, but i have to go to...work." sunny: "no, you don't. i heard daddy say he's not going to marry you and that i had to stop asking to see you." her chin had trembled. "you're leaving us, aren't you?" me: "i love you, sweetheart. i would never leave you. ever." rome: "i'll bring you back tomorrow, sunshine. i swear. i explained to you last night that my mind was sick and i just didn't remember belle. but now i do."

sunny: "but you're not happy, you're not smiling and laughing like before." she'd then used her misting ability to disappear. we hadn't found her for twenty minutes, and both rome and i had been beyond worried. finally we'd discovered her inside the freaking dryer. i'd felt like a rat, and rome had scooped her up and stalked out of the house, silent.

remembering, i sighed.

"you okay?" jean-luc asked me. he sat across from me, and placed his hand over mine.

slowly i withdrew it as i studied his face over the flickering candlelight. he was so handsome, so sweet, so giving (when he wasn't stealing, that is). despite my confession that i'd never love him, despite the agents he'd known would surround us, he'd brought me to a lovely place with flowers and soft, romantic music.

with the threat of dr. roberts looming, john had instructed us to stay alert and not drink anything with alcohol, so jean-luc had ordered me a virgin strawberry margarita. his notebook had reminded him that my favorite fruit was strawberry.

"i just had a tough day," i said.

"tell me about it." he propped his elbows on the table and leaned toward me, genuinely interested.

"i shouldn't." unloading my rome-problems on him would be cruel. but i desperately needed someone to talk to. and i couldn't talk to sherridan. i wasn't yet immune to her voice. i couldn't talk to tanner, either. even now, he and elaine were lost in their own little world, heads bent together, whispering.

so far, elaine's sessions were going very well. the scientists at psi had painted a translucent gell over her exposed skin - much as rome had worn during our training session - which acted as a barrier. like clothing. tanner could now caress her cheek - and had, several times. each time, elaine leaned into him, her eyes closing in ecstasy.

"it would hurt you," i said, returning my attention to jean-luc, "and i don't want to hurt you." now he sighed. "rome, then."

i nodded.

"what's so special about him that - no. never mind. don't tell me." jean-luc followed the direction of my gaze, to tanner and elaine. "some guard dogs, huh?"

i laughed with genuine humor. "yeah. they're about as effective as ginger and lovey." he sighed again and toyed with the rim of his glass, finger stroking the edge. "that's how it should be, isn't it?"

"what?" somehow, i'd lost the thread of the conversation.

"love. that's how love should be."

oh. i bit my lip, studied tanner and elaine again. there was a gentleness to tanner's expression that i'd never seen before, even with lexis, transforming him from young man to protective alpha. seemed odd, that tenderness toward a woman could bring out such a me-killing-machine aura, but it was there.

tanner would protect her, would die for her.

they hadn't known each other long, but sometimes people just knew. that's how it had been with me and rome. i had been enraptured by him from the very first, even though he'd been sent to destroy me.

tanner caught my scrutiny and frowned over at me. "what?"

"i just love you, that's all," i said, my eyes misting. god, i was a freaking watering pot lately.

"that's because you secretly want to ride the tanner express." i barked out a laugh. elaine gasped, not quite used to his sense of humor yet.

"that's the line he used to use to pick up girls," i told her. "needless to say, he was an absolute failure." slowly she smiled. "did you really?"

his cheeks pinked a bit. "it wasn't my best line, but it did the job."

"did not," i said, laughter increasing in volume. "girls ran from you, fast as they could."

"i'm not running," elaine said in a throaty whisper.

just like that, the two were lost in their own world again.

my smile faded. i tossed my napkin on the table and pushed back my chair. "i need to run to the ladies'

room." compose myself, i didn't add.

jean-luc stood with me. i clomped off. how could i let him down without hurting him? i maneuvered around tables and people, past the kitchen and its hot, steamy air and into the bathroom.

the door slammed behind me, locking before anyone else - namely a female agent/guard - could enter.

"finally," i heard.

i spun, gasping. there was dr. roberts, tall and thin with a comb-over he needed to shave. thick glasses i hadn't seen him wear in our previous brief encounter. he was very studious-looking. oh, and he had a gun pointed to my chest.

"hello, belle."

"dr. roberts."

"ah, you remember me. i had a feeling you would. i wish we were meeting under happier circumstances, but i'm afraid that isn't how things played out. you received my note, i hope?"

"yes." cold, i needed cold. almost instantly, an ice ball formed in my hand. damn. i really was getting good at this. "so what are you doing here, armed no less?"

"i have to protect myself somehow. and i wouldn't do that if i were you." the gun cocked. he motioned to my hand with a tilt of his head, his brown eyes bright with intrigue. "taken to your powers, i see."

i dropped my arm to my side. "i didn't exactly have a choice. it was either feel sorry for myself over what you made me, or embrace the new me and move on with my life." he sighed but didn't lower the gun. "i've done some terrible things in my life, and i'm sorry for them. i forced powers on you that you weren't prepared to deal with. i treated my daughter like a lab rat. i was only trying to ensure that she would be well able to survive in our supernatural world, but in the process i ruined her life and my own. i'm searching for a way to undo everything i've done, for you, for her, but i need time to do that. i need peace, as i said. give me peace, and i'll do the same for you." he meant it, then. he truly didn't want to hurt me. i took heart. and yet...i closed my eyes at the irony.

for weeks after being given my powers, i'd dreamed of nothing but finding an antidote. and now, here he was offering the hope of one, when i no longer wanted it. "and what happens if i want to keep my powers?" i asked.

his smile was sad. did i remind him of candace, always craving more? "then taking the cure would be up to you. i won't force anything else on you. but i still need my freedom." his head fell back a little and he peered up at the ceiling. "my daughter...it's my fault she became what she did. i should have been more careful with her, should not have introduced her to this life. please tell john to be kind to her." someone knocked on the door. "belle? you okay in there?"

"i'm...fine." my words trailed off. i'd glanced at the door, then back at dr. roberts, but he was already gone. how? where? i dropped the ice ball into the trash can, freezing it, and pounded through the entire enclosure, opening every door, peeking into every shadow, but there was no sign. it was as though i'd imagined the entire incident. i knew better. the good doctor must have experimented on himself, as well.

shaking, i washed my face and hands. part of me wanted to call john and rome right now and tell them what had happened. but the other part of me knew they'd immediately launch a search party for the doctor and then where would we be? roberts wanted a chance to undo the damage he'd done. perhaps we should give him one.

when i exited, there was a pretty brunette i recognized from psi waiting for me. her sharp gaze took my measure. she must have decided i was okay, because she nodded and went back to her table.

jean-luc was not so easily convinced. "you're pale," he said as i reclaimed my seat.

"i'm fine. really." i hoped. had i made the right decision? only time would tell, i guess. ultimately, if dr. roberts could develop a superpower neutralizer, we could stop scrims in their tracks. and wasn't that the point of my job?

the waiter delivered our food. i'd ordered the halibut with extra garlic sauce (a girl had to prepare for the worst and i hadn't wanted to have to reject jean-luc if he tried to kiss me, so had decided to make him not want to come within ten yards of me). the delicious aroma drifted to my nose, and i inhaled deeply, allowing myself to relax. everyone else had ordered some type of green-colored pasta.

we ate for a little while in silence, and i continued to pretend all was well. jean-luc would take a bite, swallow and open his mouth to say something, then press his lips together in a mulish line. then repeat the entire process again. and again. it was...awkward.

finally, i dropped my fork and faced him. there had to be a way to do this without crushing him. i just, well, i had to get my life in order. being confronted by dr. roberts had reminded me just how quickly circumstances could change. i had to seize the moment, take what time i had with rome while i had it.

there was also lexis to consider, i thought with a sigh.

"you know, jean-luc," i said. "i like you. i do."

he released his fork, too, and it clanged against his bowl. he propped his elbows on the table and dropped his head into his upraised hands, scrubbing his face. "this the brush-off speech?"

"no." damn it, girl. he deserves your honesty. "yes. maybe. i don't know. i would never back out of our deal, i hope you know that. you want the full three dates, i'll give them to you. but i'm in love with him. that isn't going to change, no matter how many dates we go on. i wish it would. i mean, you're so much easier to be with than rome."

"but?"

"but he's the other half of me, and this date is killing him." or at one time, it would have. now...i traced a fingertip around my plate and only prayed that it did. "i don't know if i have a future with him, but he's the only man i want, and i'd rather stay single and dream of him than date anyone else." he grabbed his wineglass and drained the contents, then signaled the waiter for another glass. when it arrived, he drained it, too. then he stared down at the tabletop for a long while.

i didn't move. didn't speak.

finally he wiped his mouth with his napkin and smiled sadly. "stupid honesty. i could push, you know. i could use your doubts about your future against you."

"i know."

"but you don't care. because you love him."

"yes."

another sad smile. "i had hoped...well, it doesn't matter now, i guess. you're sweet, funny and you have the sexiest laugh i've ever heard, but your attraction to another man is annoying as hell."

"i know. i'm sorry."

"that's why - that's why i have to - damn this. i'm releasing you from our deal." for a moment, i couldn't react. all i could do was think how amazing this man was. a true diamond in a sea of zirconium. then relief drifted through me. "i - thank you, jean-luc." i wasn't going to give a token protest and hurt him further. "you are a wonderful man and one day some lucky woman is going to make you very happy. she's going to love you with her every breath." would that woman be lexis?

he scowled over at me. "look. you don't want me, fine. i'll live. i don't like it, i wish it were different, but i'll live. you don't have to patronize me."

and that was the difference between us, what really showed me that i'd made the right choice. i couldn't live without rome. wouldn't give up, had to have him. he was my drug. my addiction. not my newfound increased powers, but him. maybe i needed therapy, but there it was. "i'm not patronizing you. i swear. i - "

jean-luc threw his napkin on the table and stood, his chair skidding behind him. "have a nice life, belle.

i won't be bothering you anymore. we'll both work at psi, but i'll stay out of your way." tanner and elaine emerged from their love-cocoon long enough to throw us startled glances.

"jean-luc, wait! lexis - " was i really going to do this? yes, yes, i was. it was the only solution i had right now, though granted, it was a sucky consolation prize. "lexis wants you. she says the two of you are meant to be together."

he turned, suddenly stiff, giving me his back but not walking away. "what are you talking about?"

"all i know is what she told me earlier today. she sees the future and she has seen the two of you together. romantically."

he snorted. "impossible. i don't want her."

"and i don't blame you. i just wanted you to know."

a pause, a nod. and then, unconsciously taking a page from rome's book, he strode briskly away.

"wow," tanner said. "i didn't see that one coming." he shrugged and turned back to elaine, smiling.

"is there anything we can do, belle?" elaine asked.

"no. the rest is up to me."

armed agents hid in the shadows all around the outside of my house. i should have told them all to go away, that the threat of dr. roberts was over, but i didn't. i needed to have a conversation with john first, and i didn't want to do that tonight. i chucked my keys on the table in the foyer and strode toward my bedroom. tanner and elaine were close on my heels, though they branched off and entered tanner's room. i paused, catching his eye as he closed the door.

he gave me a wicked smile before the cherry wood blocked him completely. i shook my head, sad and happy at the same time, and jumped back into motion. i had my powers under control, i'd been released from my deal with jean-luc, so i should be celebrating. instead, i was going to cuddle my dogs, cry and come up with a plan. i'd broken a good man's heart, and i needed a strategy to win back another's.

the house was eerily quiet. sherridan was probably asleep. just like my puppies, i realized. they were snuggled together in their crate and snoring. not wanting to wake them, i left the light off. no cuddling for me, it seemed. it'd just be me, my tears and my schemes.

i brushed my teeth and hair, washed my face clean of makeup, stripped to the skin and padded to my dresser to find a pair of panties and a nightgown. wasn't sure i'd have one. rome and i had always slept naked. lately, since his memory loss, i'd been using his shirts. i couldn't do that tonight, since i hadn't done laundry in forever.

strong arms suddenly banded around my waist and lifted me. before i could react, i was soaring through the air. i landed on the bed with a thwack, sprawled on my back, arms and legs splayed.

gasping, i jerked upright, raising my arm. cold, cold, cold. i am cold.

the ice was already forming in my hand. the moment it solidified completely, i launched it. the intruder ducked and the ball slammed into the wall, the door, freezing them.

and locking me inside with the depraved man. dr. roberts again? "i'm armed and i'm dangerous, motherfucker!"

"good reflexes and good timing. you've already improved. the potty mouth needs to go, though." i blinked. stilled. gulped. "rome?"

"the one and only."

"you bastard!" i summoned another ball of ice and tossed it, too. once again he ducked. wait. what was i doing? way to win him back, i thought, willing the ice to leave me. "don't scare me like that again! i thought you were a scrim."

he rose. he was standing at the end of the bed. moonlight seeped from the window and illuminated his strong body. he was dressed in black, his hair damp as if he'd just taken a shower.

a knock sounded at my door. "belle?" tanner called.

"i'm okay. just having - "

"we're fine," rome said.

there was a chuckle. "way to go, cat man. carry on, you two. i'm about to." then, silence.

"what are you doing here?" i didn't bother trying to cover my nakedness. no, i lay back on the pillow, a seductive goddess - i hoped.

for a moment, his expression was so primitive i thought he was going to pound his chest king kong - style. "we've got some air to clear," he said, and his voice sounded thick. raw. "i heard what you said to jean-luc."

first, surprise rocked me. then embarrassment. "so you were there?" he nodded. "i told you i would be."

"but i thought...you seemed...if i'm remembering correctly, you then said you weren't going. and when you left with sunny, you made it seem like you were done with me."

"as if." he reached behind his neck and pulled his shirt up and off. "you want to stand on your own, and i was trying to let you. i was trying not to interfere with what you felt you had to do. even though it was killing me." next he unsnapped his pants. "but i couldn't stay away and found myself plugging into the audio feed."

sweet heaven. i licked my lips, nervous and excited and trembling. "that's wonderful. i'm glad. but first, i have to tell you something. dr. roberts was at the restaurant. he - "

"i know. i heard that, too. we all did. there were recorders all over the place. i'm surprised you didn't know."

damn, but i still had a lot to learn. "why didn't you guys rush in and take him?"

"oh, john wanted to, but i threw a fit and he backed down. i didn't want roberts to panic and hurt you. more than that, i think john liked what he had to say about neutralizing powers. john wants to confiscate whatever new formula the good doctor creates.

"now, enough shop talk. let's get back to the subject of you and me." his gaze roved over me, hot and hungry.

"wait," i said, holding up a hand.

his head fell back and he groaned. "not again."

"i won't lie to you. i was thinking about ending things with you." every muscle in his body froze, his eyes narrowing on me.

"but only because i worried we couldn't make it," i admitted softly. "and only for a little while. once my senses returned, i knew you were worth fighting for no matter what."

"why would you think we couldn't make it?" he relaxed, and slid back into motion. the pants tumbled down his legs. he stepped out of them.

as usual, he wasn't wearing underwear.

as i drank in that long, hard, thick length, moisture flooded my mouth. "because i was changing, becoming a different person, and i wasn't sure you could love who i would be."

"and who's that?" he climbed atop the bed, but remained on his knees. "who are you now?" a tremor moved through me. i wanted to tug him on top of me, but resisted. this was too important.

"an agent. a very powerful agent who will one day be able to kick your ass. a very powerful agent who will maybe might kinda sorta one day want children."

"and all of that is what's been making you so distant with me?"

"that, and you seemed to be pulling away from me."

a frown curved his lips into a half-moon. "if i seemed upset at the gym today, it was only because i was worried you would outgrow me. that you wouldn't need me anymore. but i realized that's okay. you don't need me. you're stronger than i am, and i like that. i'm proud of it. of you. that was never clearer than when dr. roberts offered to free you from your powers but you weren't sure you wanted him to. i didn't want you to accept, either. they're a part of who you are. part of the girl i love. a girl who's brave and sarcastic, loyal and determined."

"i - i - " couldn't form any intelligent words.

"i'm not done, wonder girl," he chided. "i wanted to strangle lexis when i got my memories back and realized what she'd done to keep us apart. i wanted to beat myself for listening to her, even for a minute.

i wanted to kill jean-luc, with my memories and without, for looking at you as if you belonged to him.

and he's lucky the dates are over. i planned to hunt him down tomorrow and put a bullet in his leg to keep him away. no one keeps us apart. not even you. not even me.

"i love who you are, yesterday, now, tomorrow, always. you're complicated and yeah, powerful, but that doesn't change the core of you. you're strong, and did i already mention brave? you're loving, giving and sexy as hell. you speak your mind, you never back down and you make my heart stop every time i look at you. i would be lost without you. and yes, i want kids with you, no matter how they'll turn out. one day. right now, i just want you all to myself."

his speech was a dream come true. wondrous, amazing, surreal. everything i'd ever wanted to hear and more. once he'd stung my feminine pride. now he'd utterly soothed it. the tears i'd expected tonight poured free, as if a dam had broken. but they were tears of joy. "i will never outgrow you. i will always need you. but i want to be clear. i'm it for you? the one and only?" i didn't mean for the questions to squeak out, but they did.

he nodded. "my one and only. now, enough talking. we've got some reuniting to do." he was on top of me in the next instant. i wrapped my legs around him as he fed me a kiss, his tongue plunging deep. my hands were all over him, and his were all over me.

it was heaven, the possession i'd craved all these many days.

"i love you," he said, nipping at my lips, my ears, kissing down my neck.

"i love you so much."

"we're getting married."

"yes."

"soon."

"as soon as possible."

"and you'll take my name." he swirled his tongue around one of my nipples, then the other.

"i'm still undecided. i mean, you once called a pet bone crusher, so clearly you aren't good with names. but why don't you convince me of the merits of your plan?" i tangled my hands in his hair, ran my thighs up his sides. how could a man with so many hard muscles feel like velvet?

"give me an hour. maybe neither one of us will even remember our names, so it'll be a moot point." kneading my breasts, he turned the hot, wet attentions of his tongue to my navel, swirling. i moaned at the heady bliss. and then he was licking between my legs, flicking my clitoris and driving me mad.

"rome," i shouted as i came, my muscles spasming, my back shooting off the mattress, my nails digging into his scalp. "i - i still remember."

"hang on." he surged up, impaling me deep. another climax hit me instantly, hurtling me over the edge again and again and again. i chanted his name, only then realizing there wasn't a fire desperate to escape me.

i truly had control of my powers.

"woman," rome grunted, pounding deep, hard, fast, and then roaring a sound of utter satisfaction.

when the last of our tremors subsided, we didn't move. i couldn't. not because rome's weight pinned me down - though it did - but because for the first time in weeks, i was utterly satisfied. happy beyond measure. and i didn't want it to end.

"how embarrassing." he kissed the inside of my neck. "i only lasted five minutes. and i was the first to forget. again."

"well, i can top that, cat man. i only lasted three."

he laughed. "see, this is why i love you. you're the biggest smart-ass i know." the sound of a woman's blissful cries suddenly seeped through the walls, blending with the sound of our ragged breathing, and my laughter joined rome's. "bet tanner lasts longer than both of us combined." rome gave another laugh, but the laughter soon faded. he cupped my face, forcing my gaze to remain locked with his. "you meant what you said? about marrying me?"

"absolutely." i hugged him tight. "you're mine, rome jamison, and i'm never letting you go."

"rome jamison. i like the sound of that."

"so do i." i rose up and straddled his waist. "now, let's try to set a new record for us. let's try to last ten minutes."