"i'll go take a shower," vanni said, without responding to that last comment. she handed off matt. "if you have problems, holler."

"and take some time for yourself," ellie said, bouncing a kid on each hip. "i'll juggle for a while."

when vanni disappeared, ellie took the kids to the kitchen. once there, she found the remnants of breakfast on their high-chair trays and the kitchen was a mess-dishes in the sink, the floor sticky, dirty pots on the stove, the newspaper spread out on the table in front of a coffee cup with a ring around the inside. "well," she said softly to the kids. "mommy's got issues. but, hey, we can deal. right?"

hannah said, "ma!" and matt patted ellie's head.

"you two," ellie cooed, kissing each cheek. "could you be any more delicious? come on, let's settle in. there's stuff to do here."

once she had them strapped in the high chairs, she cleaned off the trays. she found sippy cups in the sink, scrubbed them and filled them with juice. then she put a handful of dry cheerios on each tray and, talking and singing little ditties the whole time, began cleaning the kitchen. there was a thin, sticky coat of kiddie paste over everything, including the floor and high chairs, so when the dishes were loaded, she started the dishwasher, wiped down the stove, table and countertops. in the laundry room off the kitchen she found a bucket, mop and sponge. also, loads of dirty laundry. "hmm," she said, thinking. "well, whoever said 'one thing at a time' didn't know squat." she got a load of kids' clothes going. back in the kitchen, singing the "abc" song, "people on the bus" and "little soap," she washed down the high chairs while the kids were in them, stopping occasionally to make faces and noises and tickle. and then, dishwasher and washing machine humming away, she mopped the floor, scooting the high chairs out of the way one at a time.

she flipped the laundry and started another load. and then she took the kids to the great room where a playpen stood ready. she settled both of them, playing with them for just a moment before she left them to grab some windex and pledge and rags. if there was one thing a single mother of two had learned pretty well, it was how to make a small house presentable in record time. well, this was no small house-it was like a castle to ellie-and brand-new. she knew she would never live in such a house, not unless she won the lottery-which she never played-or fell in love with some rich guy, which was now off the table. but still...

she shined up the glass and wood furniture, found the vacuum in the front-hall closet and, talking to and singing to the kids, she ran it around the room. she glanced at her watch and saw that vanni had been missing for well over an hour, but it had been time well spent. she was making great progress.

another hour passed and she had cleaned the kitchen and great room, folded some clothes on the couch while picking up toys that had been pitched out of the playpen. since she had a couple of stacks of clean baby clothes, she put them in the nursery, rounded up towels and ran a bath.

ohhh, they loved the bath, so she supervised while they played until the water was cooled. little hannah needed that soak on her rosy bottom. next, clean clothes and a glance at her watch told her it was lunchtime. she took the little ones back to the kitchen. she found baby food in the pantry but, if memory served, there was one thing kids loved universally. "mac and cheese," she said, grinning at them. it took only minutes in the microwave and then minutes to cool a bit. she managed to put away the clean dishes from the dishwasher, though if vanni ever found them again, it would be a miracle. when the mac and cheese had cooled down enough, she gave each child a bowl on their tray.

now, this was where aggressive supervision was required if they were going to get more in their stomachs than on her clean floor. she sat on a chair with a handy rag and helped matt guide his spoon while she fed hannah. "i so knew you'd love this," she said to them. "it was a big treat at my house."

there were bottles in the dishwasher. since she didn't find any powdered formula anywhere, she was left to assume they were now on regular milk. so, she filled a couple of bottles, and with hannah in her arms and matt lying on the couch, his legs draped over hers, they relaxed together. hannah played with ellie's ponytail that fell over her shoulder and matt held her finger.

these children needed to be touched! they needed kisses and giggles and cooing and pleasant smiles! they needed to feel the love! but their mother was sad, overwhelmed, hurt and exhausted.

both children passed out with their bottles. ellie scooted out from under matt's legs and hefted hannah into her arms. matt slept with his mouth open and arms limply splayed outward, totally gone. to his sleeping form she whispered, "do not roll off this couch or i'll be fired!" then she took hannah to her crib and went quickly back for matt.

both children were settled and ellie was folding another load of clothes when vanni finally appeared. "well," ellie said, smiling, "you look like you had a little rest."

"i apologize. i didn't help you at all. i left you high and dry with them."

"don't apologize, angel-cakes. i was having a nice time. this is a magnificent house you have here. i enjoyed tidying up a bit. are you hungry? why don't i fix you some lunch."

"oh, don't bother. now that you've done so much and the kids are sleeping, you don't have to stay-"

"i still have things to do, vanni. after the kids wake up, i'm going to freshen their room. but while they sleep, i thought i could get you a fresh set of sheets, give your master bath a bit of a fluff and buff, maybe run the vacuum around in there." she smiled happily. "you should take advantage of me while you can."

"only if you'll have a little lunch with me," vanni said.

"i'll make us a couple of sandwiches," ellie said. "how's that?"

while ellie made the sandwiches, vanni snuck the clean clothes into the drawers in the nursery. vanni stripped her own bed and got her sheets washing. then they sat at the kitchen table together.

"so your children came as surprises?" vanni asked.

"i think stunned and scared shitless would be more accurate," ellie said, biting into her sandwich. vanni laughed in spite of herself. "believe me, it wasn't funny."

"no, not that. i'm laughing at the way you swear. must be quite a challenge for noah."

"uh-huh. he's talking swear jar in the church. quarter a curse."

"mel and jack have one of those!"

"so i hear. i also heard mel's taking the town on a cruise in the spring, just on the contents. really, just so you don't think i'm completely terrible, i never swear in front of children. i don't even slip. i know that sounds far-fetched, but really. when i swear, i do it on purpose."

"well, at least you've got that going for you." vanni laughed. "so-the kids?"

"oh, yeah. i got pregnant with danielle in high school. my boyfriend was killed in an accident-motorcycle versus car, not his fault." once again she conveniently left out the fact that she had two children by two different guys, neither of whom married her. she chewed a little more and swallowed. "i was on my own. well, with my gram's help, but she died when trevor was two."

"oh, i'm sorry, ellie. i'm sorry for the loss of both your boyfriend and your grandmother. is that the extent of your family?"

"i have a mother somewhere, but she hasn't been around since i was, like, three months old. she drops in once in a while, but she never spends the night. she's pretty much consumed with her own life, which is fine. my mother-she's a real load. she needs taking care of. if she ever got the idea i could do that for her, i'd never get rid of her and she's very self-centered."

vanni was quiet a moment. "i lost my mother almost six years ago."

ellie's hand that held the sandwich slowly lowered to the table. "oh, man. a mother and a husband? oh, sugar, you've had such a rough time!"

"same as you," vanni said softly.

ellie shrugged. "i miss my gram all the time, but sometimes it's like she's right on my shoulder," she said, patting the place. "i can hear her, feel her. like she never really left me. she was seventy when she died. she'd been reading in her chair and died with her book in her lap and her glasses on her nose. we slept on the pullout sofa, danielle on a small daybed and trevor in the crib, all of us in one room. while i slept and she read, she passed. i found her in the morning. she must have been dead all night, but she went so softly, no one knew she was gone. funny," she said, "but i dreamt about her that night. i dreamt i was lying on the couch with my head on her lap, on her favorite corduroy jumper, and she was rubbing my head. i was real little when she did that, but it's one of my favorite memories." she looked at vanni and noticed she had glistening eyes. "oh, god, i'm sorry. my marching orders were to make you laugh, not make you cry!"

"who told you that?" vanni asked, wiping her eyes. "to make me laugh?"

"noah. i asked him what i was supposed to do and he said, 'you'll know what to do.' and added that it would be good if i could make you laugh. noah thinks i'm a real stitch, but he'd like to shove me under a pew and keep his future congregation from seeing me."

"and why is that?" vanni asked with a laugh.

"oh, he hasn't been real specific, but i believe it has to do with my potty mouth, my tattoo, my cleavage and, when i'm not mommy's helper or pastor's painter, the way i like to do my hair and makeup. kind of dolly parton." she grinned. "i know it annoys him, but i can't seem to stop."

vanni reached for her hand and smiled. "don't. don't change for anyone, especially a man."

"ah, we are sisters. i thought so." the spin cycle stopped. "i'm going to put those sheets in the dryer, then we can make up the bed together. while they're drying, why don't i go see if your bedroom and bathroom could use a once-over. when i leave today, it's my goal to see that everyone is happy and can relax in a fresh house."

"you're amazing, ellie. your grandmother trained you very well."

"yeah? well, baby, it's such a great thing to have more than two rooms to clean, it's like you're doing me a favor."

the girls talked while they worked on the master bedroom and bath, when ellie wasn't running the vacuum, at least. they laughed like girlfriends, told sentimental stories about family members, and ellie even tried on some old pants and tops that vanni said she'd never fit into again. vanni was only an inch shorter than ellie and wore her pants long to compensate for boots, so the fit was perfect.

"take them," vanni said. "if you like them, that is. my feelings won't be hurt at all if they're not your style. i mean, i doubt dolly would like them. i was going to give them to goodwill, so they're yours if you want them."

"that's so nice, vanni. i didn't expect anything like this!" she tilted her head. "i think i hear something. that was a good long nap. with any luck, they'll be in good moods tonight. what do you usually do when they wake up, after a change?"

"snack. playtime till dinner," she said with a shrug. "nothing special."

"how about a little cuddle time. just waking up is awful sweet," ellie said. "let's do it."

as ellie was leaving the master bedroom, vanni touched her arm. "um, would you take care of hannah, please?"