"are you ready to go?" he asked.

"yes. the women can handle the unpacking while we're gone. i want to stop at the grocery on the way back. we can pick up some steaks for dinner." i ruffled rubio's hair as i passed him. he laughed and turned toward his car. i'd never done more than shake his hand until that moment. however, over the last few months we'd become friends of a kind. i could never confide in him, but he looked up to me and i'd begun to take him under my wing, so to speak.

"sounds good. we can pick up a cake for sophia." he smiled. he'd sort of taken me under his wing as well. rubio gave me insight into livvie's youth. she was downplaying the importance of her birthday, but he knew she still wanted a little spectacle. i planned on giving her quite the spectacle later when we were alone. but cake was nice too.

"great idea," i said. as i pulled away, i couldn't help but look at livvie's and my new home in the rearview. had i really moved on? had i left the man i was behind? i didn't know for certain. however, the knowledge that livvie would be the first person i saw every morning and the last person i would see every night was more comfort than i'd ever allowed myself. my new life with her was everything. as much as it terrified me to think i was nothing without her, i was only too happy to have her for any amount of time fate would allow. of course, if and when fate decided to try and wrest her from my arms, i would fight like the bastard i was to keep her.

after we dropped off the van, rubio and i picked up some groceries and a cake for livvie. i was exhausted, but i was looking forward to making livvie's birthday special. selfishly, i couldn't wait until everyone else left and livvie and i could enjoy our first night in our new home.

"i hope sophia likes our gift. we're not ballin' out of control like you." rubio grinned and tossed some of his fastidious hair out of his face. i was constantly tempted to take scissors to it.

"i'm sure she'll love whatever it is. you're her friends-you probably know her better than i do."

"i don't think so. she's different with you. she's happier. when claudia and i first met her, she was kinda quiet. she didn't like to talk about things: her family, where she grew up. claudia felt sorry for her, said she must be very lonely."

i frowned.

"sophia doesn't need anyone's pity. she's too strong for that."

"not like that." rubio appeared wounded. "claudia just doesn't like to see people unhappy. she doesn't show it, but she's very sensitive. she has a very big heart."

"right," i said, incredulous. the sprite was brash and rude. i liked her, but i had my doubts about her soft mushy insides.

rubio, for the first time, looked irritated.

"you wouldn't know, would you? i do."

i had to laugh.

"i didn't mean to offend you. claudia is a good friend. she's just... well, you know."

rubio's anger faded quickly.

"yes. i know. the night we met, a friend of mine dragged me to a party. there was a girl i liked and i was heartbroken because i found out she started seeing someone else. i wanted to stay home but i went out anyway. claudia saw me and she came over to me. she's a big ball of happy energy and she insisted i cheer up. i told her about the girl and she told me to forget about her because i was her boyfriend." rubio had a stupid grin on his face.

"you belong together," i said. rubio seemed to like that. "tell me more about sophia."

"she used to be sad. we cheered her up, but only for so long. i used to leave her and claudia alone sometimes because i think it upset sophia to see us so happy. she never said, but it was a vibe we got. that's why we tried to set her up so much." he shrugged. "then she met you. she's happy now. i hope you understand how lucky you are. i don't know much about her past, but i know she is a good person. you should be careful with her."

i looked at rubio and his expression was very serious. rubio was a good man.

"i plan to make sophia very happy, rubio. you don't have to tell me what i have."

"good," he said. "i never want to fight you."

i laughed. i couldn't help it. i was picturing rubio trying to fight me.

"i never want that either, rubio."

things were considerably less pleasant when we finally arrived home. claudia met us in the driveway and the expression on her face gave me heart palpitations.

"where is she?" i asked. i was already rushing toward the house. i didn't hear what claudia was trying to tell me.

"sophia!" i yelled. i bounded up the stairs.

"i'm in here!" she responded from the bedroom. a wave of relief shivered through me. she was safe. there was no danger. our lives were different. it took me a moment to settle. i'd thought i was going to have to hurt someone.

when i walked into the bedroom, livvie was sitting on the bed. she'd been crying, and there was a letter in her hands.

"what's wrong, pet?"

she shrugged.

"i don't know. i just..." she wiped at her eyes and sniffled.

"what happened? did i do something?" i hated when livvie was sad. i no longer relished the sight of those tears. they were bitter on my tongue.

"no, baby. it's not you." she'd never called me baby before-well, not in a positive way.

"tell me." i sat next to her on the bed and she instantly found her way under my arm and against my chest. i rubbed her back and waited. livvie was a talker and i knew she'd come out with it eventually.

"my mom sent me a birthday card. i brought my mail over and there was an unmarked envelope. i wasn't ready for it." she buried herself further in my chest.

livvie's relationship with her family presented a quandary. i wanted her to be happy. i wanted her to have all the things she desired. however, i wanted to be a part of her happiness. i wanted to be the largest part. her family could threaten that-they could threaten us, what we had. i needed to tread carefully.

"what did it say?"

"that she's sorry. she says she misses me, that they all miss me: my brothers, my sisters. she wants to know if we can work things out." livvie sobbed and held me tighter.

"is that what you want, pet?" i wanted her to say no. i wanted her to say i was the only person she needed and to hell with the rest of them. but i knew what that would mean. i'd been orphaned. i might have one living parent, but as far as i was concerned i was still an orphan.

"i don't know."

i sighed.

"it's me. it's always me. i don't want to be the thing that keeps you from the people you love." i wasn't sure what i was trying to say, i just knew it hurt like hell to say it. livvie's relationship with me was always going to alienate her from the rest of the world and i was too selfish to change that.

"you don't!" livvie insisted. "things were shit between us before you and i ever met. you know that, it's just..."

"she's your mother. they're your blood."

"so are you." she kissed my chest and went back to lying against me. "we've bled for each other. that's more than i can say for my 'blood'."

i inhaled sharply. while i found her words moving, they were also troubling.

"that was my fault too."

"caleb, is this about you? are you trying to make me angry with you? you make me happy. today was one of the best days i've ever had. don't ruin it by making this about us. this is about my mom and the way she manipulates everything. at least you had reasons for what you did to me. she's my mother. what the f**k were her reasons, caleb? what were her reasons for treating me like shit and then waiting five days to come see me in the hospital?" livvie sat up. her fists were clenched around what i presumed was her birthday card.

"i'm sorry, kitten. i didn't mean to make it about me. here's what i know: you deserve to be happy. if getting the answers to your questions is going to give you peace, you owe yourself that much. if you're done with her, that's okay too... but i don't think you are." i pulled her back into my arms. i didn't know if i did it to comfort her or myself, but it seemed to help us both.

"maybe i'll call her next week."

"okay," i whispered. it was all i could manage.

"promise me you won't leave." livvie's arms gripped me tight.

"i promise. can you say the same?" i almost dreaded the answer.

"i promise. i'm yours," she said.

"and i'm yours."

"sophia? should we go?" claudia shouted from downstairs.

"no!" livvie said. "we'll be down in a minute." she sat up and kissed me, softly at first, and then passionately. i pulled her to me and caressed her br**sts. she broke the kiss. "later, sexy. we have all the time in the world."

"i plan to hold you to that." i kissed her one more time.

"good. i love it when you hold me." she smiled and i could see she was in a better place.