"what would you like me to tell you?" corrie asked.

"i...i don't know."

corrie reached across the counter and took one of gloria's hands in her own. "i think you owe it to this young man and to yourself to talk to him."

"what should i say?"

"i can't tell you that. but it seems to me that you're running away from him and, more importantly, from yourself. you tried that once and it didn't work, did it?"

"no," she said miserably.

"when you thought you were about to lose him, you asked him to stay. that tells me you do have feelings for him."

"he left ten messages for me. in the tenth message he said he was finished and that i wouldn't hear from him again-and i haven't."

"you need to talk to him," corrie said a second time. "even if you agree never to see each other again, you need some closure. some way of acknowledging what happened so you can both move on."

gloria knew her birth mother was right. she'd recognized all along that this was what she needed to do, but she'd wanted confirmation from someone she trusted. corrie wasn't her real mother; gloria's mother had died in a plane crash. but she was certain the woman who'd nurtured and raised her would have said the same thing.

"thank you," she whispered.

corrie squeezed her hand. "anytime. will you let me know how it goes?"

gloria promised she would and left soon after.

that afternoon, she waited outside the medical clinic for chad. she wore her uniform, since she had to report for duty in thirty minutes. she was on swing shift and, through a quick phone call, had learned that he was on the early rotation. that gave them twenty minutes together at most. the time limitation suited her fine; she'd say what needed to be said, then leave with a clear conscience.

chad saw her the moment he stepped out the clinic door. he hesitated briefly before heading in her direction.

her own reaction to seeing him caught her by surprise. she hadn't expected to feel anything. but she did. her heart seemed to trip into double time and her throat closed. this wasn't going to be easy and chad would probably go out of his way to make it as awkward as possible.

"took you long enough" was his only greeting.

"i thought we should...acknowledge what happened," she said, consciously quoting corrie. she kept her hands on her hips, feet spread, the stance she used when pulling over speeders.

"yes, i suppose we should. do you want to meet me somewhere so we can talk in private?"

gloria shook her head. "here is fine."

"in the parking lot?"

"i have to be at work soon."

"the parking lot?" he reiterated.

"yes."

"so this'll be short and sweet."

"well, yes."

he raised his eyebrows. "i guess that tells me everything i need to know."

rather than ask what he meant, she started in on her prepared speech. "clearly there's a strong physical attraction between us."

"you think?"

she ignored his sarcasm, although it irritated her. "i can't explain why you affect me the way you do."

"but you don't like it."

"i don't think we're right for each other," she finally told him.

"yeah, sure."

"there's no need for sarcasm, chad," she returned pointedly. she'd been correct about one thing; he intended to punish her, make this as hard as he could.

"you might not think so, but it's either that or..."

"or what?"

he started to walk away from her. "you drive me crazy, gloria. i've never met anyone like you. you're hot one minute, and when i say hot, we both know what i mean. then the next minute, you can't get away from me fast enough."

gloria couldn't very well deny his accusations.

"the night we had dinner, things got out of control. i hadn't intended to bring you back to my apartment. i told you what would happen if we went inside and if i remember correctly you didn't voice any objections."

she swallowed and looked away, embarrassed because what he'd said was true.

"i woke up the next morning happier than i could remember being in a long time-only to discover you were gone."

she couldn't meet his eyes.

"then i found your note. what a shock. 'don't call me again. last night was a mistake.'"

gloria stared down at her shoes.

"it might've been a mistake for you, gloria, but i refused to think of it that way."

she had nothing to add.

"hot one minute, cold the next. i tried to reason with you. i lost count of how many messages i left you."

"ten," she said, then wished she'd kept her mouth shut.

"ten," he repeated. "ten messages, and how many weeks of silence?"

"two." there, she'd done it again, letting him know she'd counted each and every one of those tortured days.

"and now you're telling me to take a flying leap into the nearest cow pasture, right?" his stance remained guarded, defiant.

"i think it's for the best not to see each other again."

"that figures. well, go ahead, gloria, run away and pretend there's nothing between us if that makes you feel better. trust me, after this last episode, it doesn't come as a surprise."

she blinked at the vehemence in his voice, the hardness in his face.

"i'd rather we parted as friends," she said.

he went still, then shook his head. "sorry. if you want to water this relationship down to 'friends' in order to make it palatable, then feel free to do so, but it doesn't work for me."

"how...what are you talking about?"

"friends, you say? first, i don't know what you're talking about. friends are people i trust. you've burned me twice, and i don't feel that friendly toward you. if this is the way you treat your so-called friends, i pity them. i pity you."

gloria's stomach tensed. "i didn't mean it like that."

"then what did you mean?"

"i...i thought, you know, that if we passed each other on the street we could...be polite. and if i ever came to the clinic, we could be cordial to each other."

he rolled his eyes. "that isn't going to happen, so don't worry about it. fine, you want to be friends, we'll be friends."

he stepped away from her and started across the parking lot to his car. every instinct demanded she follow him and make things right between them. yet she remained rooted to the spot.

she stood frozen for several minutes, warring within herself. chad climbed into his car and drove off, and still she stood there, not knowing what to do.

corrie had said she needed to "acknowledge what happened" and move on. chad had agreed. but if that was what she'd sought, she'd failed miserably. instead of ending their affair on a friendly note, they were more at odds than ever.

somehow she made it through her shift and, at eleven that night, went home. although she was mentally and physically exhausted, she couldn't fall asleep. many hours later, she downed two over-the-counter sleeping pills and pulled the sheet over her head. the sun had begun to rise, and morning light slithered into her bedroom through the gap between her curtains.

gloria rolled onto her left side and bunched up the pillow. ten minutes later she was on her right side and then she rolled onto her back.

she glanced at the clock and wondered how long it would take for the sleep aid to kick in. she closed her eyes, but when she did, all she could see was chad standing defiantly before her. he didn't say a word, yet she felt his disappointment and his pain.

she felt her own.

all at once she threw aside the covers and sat up as his words echoed in her mind. she'd suggested that being friends meant that if they ran into each other again, they'd be cordial. chad had said that wasn't going to happen. he hadn't meant he wouldn't greet her.

what he was telling her, she realized now, was that he wouldn't be around for her to greet. he was leaving town.

the tacoma hospital had told him they'd hire him any time he wanted the job.

chad was leaving cedar cove. and her.

twenty

mack finished his five-mile run and walked the last block to the duplex to cool down. cool down physically from the exertion of the run and emotionally from his churning thoughts.

he'd been upset with mary jo after their confrontation with david on the waterfront two weeks earlier. twice since then he'd tried to talk to her about the situation, and both times she'd abruptly changed the subject. the only thing she wanted to talk about was their search for jacob and joan. and that interested him, too, but it wasn't about their lives. clearly she wasn't comfortable discussing david. not with him, anyway. and that hurt. he felt he had as much at stake as she did. not to the same degree, perhaps, but he loved noelle, too.

their dinner with his parents hadn't helped. his mother-and even his father-thought they'd come to announce their engagement.

he wished.

mary jo wasn't ready, and frankly, mack was growing frustrated. he'd recognized long ago that she was afraid. he understood that. but for the past six months he'd bent himself into a pretzel trying to prove how trustworthy he was. okay, he'd stumbled once, when mary jo discovered he'd misled her regarding the ownership of the duplex. even then he'd had her best interests at heart. if he had to do it over again, hindsight being what it was, he'd tell her the truth. how much that error in judgment had cost him remained to be seen.

he was tired of the brush-off she'd been giving him lately, and he wasn't sure how to handle it. running helped him clear his mind, so he'd pounded the pavement for five miles while he mulled over the events of the past few weeks.

he loved her and noelle, but it felt as though with every step forward, he immediately took two steps back. after six months he was beginning to think she might never feel as strongly about him as he did about her.

after his run, mack showered, changed clothes, did a few errands and returned home midafternoon. as he brought groceries into the house, mary jo came out of her place.

"hi," she said, sounding uncertain.

good. he hoped she enjoyed the feeling because he'd been experiencing it for the past half year.

"hi," he said back, and reached for another bag of groceries.

"i didn't see you this morning." he usually made himself available to mary jo and noelle in case they needed anything. maybe that was his problem-being too helpful, too eager to show he cared.

he brought the second load into the house and left the door open. a couple of minutes later, he was back to get his dry cleaning.

mary jo came farther into the yard, watching him. mack pretended not to notice.

"are you upset?" she asked.