"oh god, not tonight," she said as she rolled her eyes.

"no, we're in luck. she'll only be here tomorrow since her flight was cancelled," i lightly laughed.

"good, because tonight i couldn't deal with her," she smiled.

ellery closed her eyes and fell fast asleep in a matter of seconds. i sat there for a while and stroked her hair while she slept. i've already forgiven her for not telling me she was sick. i just hope she can forgive me for leaving her in michigan. i ran my finger across her forehead and down her cheek, taking in the softness of her skin. i no longer cared about my life because i have a new life to take care of and worry about, and she's lying right beside me, looking like an angel. i slowly climbed out of bed so i didn't disturb her. it was late, and i needed some sleep. i put on some pajama pants and looked around for my phone. the last time i remembered seeing it was in the kitchen. i walked downstairs and retrieved it from the table. as i reached the top of the stairs, i heard ellery crying. i carefully opened the door as she had her face buried into her pillow, sobbing. i felt a large pit in my stomach. i hated to see her cry, and i hated that she tries to hide it. i walked over to the other side of the bed, climbed under the covers, and wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight. "it's alright, baby. i'm here," i whispered as i kissed the back of her head. i'm never letting her go again.

i slept with her in my arms the rest of the night. it felt so good to hold her and sleep next to her again. the next morning, i got up, showered, dressed, and went downstairs. i said good morning to claire, grabbed a cup of coffee, and went to my office to do some work. as i was sitting at my desk, my phone rang. it was ashlyn. i had already avoided two of her phone calls.

"hello, ashlyn."

"i'm sick of this shit, connor!" she yelled.

"what are you sick of?" i sighed.

"i'm sick of you ignoring me and not returning my calls. you promised me we could get together when i got back, and i've been back for two days and nothing. no seeing you, no sex, nothing. i'm f**king sick of it! i know damn well it has something to do with that blonde whore you're seeing."

now, i was seriously pissed. "i'm sorry about the other night, but something came up!" i yelled.

why the hell was i apologizing to her?

"your apologies aren't going to work this time, connor, and next time i see that blonde bitch, i'm telling her everything about us, then we'll see how sorry you are!" she yelled before she hung up.

"fuck!" i yelled as i threw my phone across the desk. i started to pace back and forth. what am i going to do about her? i need to get ashlyn out of my life for good, i thought to myself. i couldn't risk her ruining things between ellery and me, not when it's going to take time to rebuild what we lost. i was so angry that i was starting to see red.

i walked to the kitchen and saw ellery standing next to the counter. she had a weird look on her face.

"how are you feeling? you look better today," i said.

"i'm fine," she said in a low voice as she looked down at the floor.

i hate it when she tells me that she's fine. i never know if she means it or if she's just telling me what i want to hear, and after the bullshit conversation i just had with ashlyn, i didn't need this right now. i wanted her to tell me the truth, but unfortunately, i lost it. i looked at her from across the kitchen.

"you always say you're fine, elle, even when you're not. are you ever really fine? can you ever just tell me the damn truth for once in your f**king life, so we can stop playing these goddamn guessing games? can you say something other than 'i'm fine, connor'? because you know what, ellery, it makes me sick."

i put my hands on the edge of the counter and pushed myself away from it. i took in a deep breath to calm down. did i mean what i just said to her? i don't know if i did or not, but i do know she won't stand there and take it. i heard her walk over to me, and as i turned my head and looked at her, she slapped me across the face. i didn't move or say a word; i just stood there and stared into her anguished eyes. she turned and walked out of the kitchen. i hurt her again, and she didn't deserve it. i stormed out of the kitchen and knocked over a vase that was sitting on the counter. i left the penthouse via the front door and slammed it behind me.

i walked down the streets of new york city. i didn't know where i was going or what i was doing.

ashlyn had pissed me off by threatening to tell ellery everything, and i can't seem to believe whether ellery is telling me the truth about how she's feeling. it isn't her fault that ashlyn's a bitch, and i can't get her out of my life. i blew up at her for no reason, and like the ass that i am, i hurt her enough for her to feel the need to slap me. i walked around for an hour and a half to cool off. i needed to apologize to ellery and tell her about ashlyn. she's been more than patient with me, and i owe it to her. i pulled out my phone and sent her a text.

"i want to apologize for my behavior. i'm on my way back to the penthouse, and we need to talk.

if you're feeling up to it, we can go out for lunch."

she didn't respond back. i walked back to the penthouse and went straight up to the guest room. i stood there and looked around. i glanced over to the corner of the room, and her bag was gone. in fact, the things she had sitting on the dresser were gone as well. claire came in behind me.

"she's gone, mr. black. right after you left, she came up here, grabbed her bag, and left. i tried to stop her, but she said there was something she had to do, and she apologized."

"shit, what the hell have i done?!" i yelled as i ran down the stairs to the living room. i pulled out my phone, but there was still no reply so i messaged her again.

"where are you, ellery?"

a few minutes later, she replied. "connor, i had to leave. my being at your place was hurting you as bad as it was hurting me. the only thing i can tell you is i'm ok, and please don't worry about me. i have a few things that i need to do, and i don't know when i'll be back."

she doesn't know when she'll be back? what the hell is she doing, and where did she go? i was pissed, and i could feel my blood pressure rise.

"what do you mean you don't know when you'll be back? where the f**k are you going? you have treatments to finish; you better get the hell back here, right now!"

when she didn't respond, i sent her another text. "i will find you, ellery lane, even if i have to travel to the ends of the earth; make no mistake that i will find you."

"i know you will my stalker," she responded quickly.

enough with the text bullshit, i was going to talk to her. i dialed her number, but it went straight to voicemail. i bet she turned her phone off. i decided to text her one more time to see if she would respond.

"ellery, you better answer your phone!"

there was no response, so i called her phone one more time, but once again, it went straight to voicemail. just as i threw my phone on the table, i heard the elevator doors open and a woman's voice.

"where is she, connor black?!" peyton said as she stormed in.

i looked at her with anger in my eyes, and she stopped dead in her tracks.

"uh oh, what happened?" she asked.

"your best friend decided to take off and take a little trip somewhere," i said.

"where did she go?" peyton asked calmly.

"how the hell do i know? she just said that she had some things she needed to do, and she didn't know when she'd be back. what the hell, peyton? you're her best friend; what the hell is she doing?"

she shook her head and walked towards me. "i don't know, connor, but you need calm down.

we'll figure out where she is, and we'll bring her home."

"i can't calm down," i said as i turned and headed towards the bar. "she's sick, and she needs someone to take care of her."

"why did she leave? what did you say to her?" she asked as she frowned at me.

"i yelled at her, but i didn't mean it. i was angry about something else, and i took it out on her.

damn it!" i screamed as i downed some scotch. i looked at peyton and could see the worry across her face. "would you like a drink?" i asked her.

"no thanks, i'm good for now," she replied. "i should get going; i have to unpack."

i walked her to the elevator. "if you hear from her, will you please call me?" i asked calmly.

peyton put her hand on my shoulder and smiled. "you bet i will. i know how worried you are."

worried isn't the only thing i am. i'm pissed at her for doing this. damn it. it's my fault that once again we're apart. i haven't even told her i loved her yet, and it's killing me because i need her to know how much i do. i had my back turned when i heard denny.

"i already told you that you've met your match. she's just like you, stubborn."

"i know that, denny. so, why the hell do you keep saying it?" i snapped.

"because you need to realize that you just can't go off on people the way you do. you need to remove the number one stress in your life because she's causing you and ellery too much pain."

i poured another drink. "i know, and i'm trying."

"obviously not hard enough," he said as he walked out of the room.

i sighed and closed my eyes. my phone rang, and i jumped. i grabbed it. peyton was calling.

"hello?" i answered.

"i'm only telling you this because i know you love her, and that she loves you. if you ever tell ellery that i called you, i will string you up by your balls and let you hang for days. do you understand me, connor?"

i gulped, this girl meant business. "yes, peyton, i promise."

"she went to michigan to take care of a few things and hopped on a flight somewhere else. don't ask me where because i'm not telling you. you need to figure that out for yourself."

i started to interrupt her. "peyton..."

"don't interrupt me, connor. just let me finish. she wants you to find her, but there's something she has to do first. that part i can't help you with because she wouldn't tell me what is was. she said if you find her, then the two of you were meant to be and that whatever it is she's doing will be worth it.

she told me to be your friend. so, i'm being your friend and betraying my best friend. start looking for her, and get your ass on a plane when you find her."

"thank you, peyton, i appreciate you calling me."

"you're welcome. i believe you're the best thing in her life, and she needs you. that's the only reason why i'm doing this. don't let me down," she said as she hung up.

i stood at the bar looking at my glass of scotch. what game is ellery playing? i asked myself.