each time i saw him again ever since he was first taken from the farm, was a miracle. tonight was a miracle. the tears fell hot and fast against my cheek, knowing when i left here in the morning i would say goodbye again. my heart would silently memorize his face and let go of him to the path we both separately chose and i would hold on to my plans and plotting, knowing they had to be worth all of this, in my very soul, until i met with him again.

"you know you could just talk to me more. then you might have some idea of what is going on...." avalon mumbled into my hair which only made me cry more.

"i know," i sobbed in a not at all pleasant voice, "but i can't help it, i forget! you know i was raised-"

"human!" a chorus of voices rang out behind avalon and then dissolved into all different voices declaring over-dramatically, "we know, we know...."

i lifted my head off avalon's shoulder and took in the rest of the group gathered. all of the boys were here, titus, xander, xavier, gabriel and silas and then lilly too, standing next to the tall men as petite as ever, her red hair burning as if on fire in chin-length ringlets. i left avalon's arms and found lilly and held her close to me. she started crying too, and then it was all over. i noticed immediately that jericho was missing but i was so grateful to see everyone else that i didn't want to spoil my joy by asking where he could be. i turned my head and saw that kiran had stepped inside the door and was already deeply involved in a conversation with avalon. i tilted my head at him, asking if he minded if lilly and i went into the other room to talk and he waved me on.

lilly and i found a place in gabriel's living room. xander, xavier and titus followed us, taking their own seats while gabriel and silas stayed with avalon to talk with kiran who had moved into the kitchen.

"oh, my gosh, i cannot believe you are here!" i gushed, mostly talking to lilly, but including the boys too.

"i know! sometimes i think i'm never going to see you again. i missed you so much!" lilly said softly, trying not to let her concern weigh too heavy on her words.

"i feel the same way," i admitted and watched xander roll his eyes.

"girls are so sappy!" xavier crowed. "guys would never say anything like that!"

"oh really?" i turned on him. "ok, what do guys say when they haven't seen each other for a while?"

"well, we don't really say anything...." xander admitted. i remembered what they were all like when jericho and i showed up at mr. lambert's townhouse last spring after they thought he was dead and i knew that wasn't true, but i let them have their side of the argument.

"except maybe, we would want to know what's going on with the mission or something like that," titus answered, his voice overly gruff as if trying to prove that although they would ask questions, it would be of the very manly variety.

"oh, i see," i consented, trying not to roll my eyes.

"so how are things going in the palace?" xander asked seriously and his eyes softened with concern for me.

"awesome, as usual," i lied and lilly took my hand and squeezed it. "hey, that reminds me, is mr. lambert like on our side or what? because if he's not, he has definitely been getting a bunch of weird visits from people sent by me."

"no, he definitely is," titus confirmed. "yeah, he's sent them along to avalon. whatever you're doing seems to be working. after the summer solstice ball last week we had a record number of people join our cause. it seems like putting you out in the open is making an impact on the kingdom, e."

that was the highest compliment titus had ever given me and i blushed with gratitude. "glad, i can help," i smiled, trying to hide my embarrassment.

"so what's happening, on this side of everything?" i asked the group and xander launched an in-depth account of how solomon camera had approached charles lambert at the engagement party and almost blown the whole cover. suddenly i was distracted by avalon's conversation in the kitchen. now that we were so close, i was having a hard time separating our thoughts.

"he is coming, isn't he?" kiran was asking avalon. kiran paced the small kitchen obviously irritated.

"yes, he's coming," avalon reassured him.

"he'd better be," kiran grumbled. "i'm risking a lot here, avalon, and he needs to understand that."

"relax dude, he'll be here," avalon promised. "why are you doing this if you're risking so much? she seems to be doing fine; it wasn't like she was begging to see us or anything...."

"can't you guess?" kiran sighed. he stopped pacing to lean against the counter and run his hand through his hair.

"i'm afraid to guess," avalon mumbled. i tried to push deeper into avalon's thoughts to find out what he was thinking but i didn't want to alert him that i was eavesdropping.

"i don't blame you," kiran muttered. "if he's not here soon, i'm going to break his nose."

"n,o you're not," avalon commanded, and kiran looked up letting avalon know there was no way avalon could stop him.

"who's side are you on avalon?" kiran demanded.

"her side," avalon growled in a low voice that sounded very much like a threat.

the front door opened and i left avalon's kitchen conversation and lifted my eyes to jericho who was standing in the entryway looking at me with a mixture of disbelief and veiled hope. i jumped to my feet, not even pretending to pay attention to xander anymore and ran across the room throwing myself at jericho.

i let my magic find his immediately and wrap itself up in jericho's reserved energy. he held me to him, cradling my head against his chest and breathing out in relief as if he didn't expect that i would want to be near him. i looked up at him, and when he looked down at me there was something between us, something that needed to be talked about privately.

"nice of you to join us," kiran hollered, walking out of the kitchen with arms crossed and nostrils flared, ready to fight.

"don't start with me," jericho barked. his large hands held me closer to him as if he were protecting me. but i wasn't a little girl, and i didn't need him to shield me from kiran or anyone else. i turned around to face kiran too, realizing his conversation with avalon had been about jericho.

"do you know how risky it is coming here after we already arrived?" kiran demanded an answer, stopping just a few feet from us. "if you were followed we're all screwed! all of us, do you get that?"

"i know what's at stake!" jericho shouted back. "do you need to be reminded that this was your idea! so if we get caught, i think we can all safely put the blame on you!"

"my idea? that's laughable," kiran softened his voice, but hardened his tone. "were you followed?"

"i do this all the time, your royal highness," jericho retorted sarcastically. "i know what i'm doing."

"you meet girls at isolated farmhouses all the time?" kiran asked pointedly.

"that is not what i meant," jericho defended himself and his anger reached a new level.

i burst out laughing, i couldn't help it. i knew they hated each other, i even understood why, but they were being ridiculous and i found it hilarious. jericho bristled behind me, angry that i found them funny and kiran shot me a warning glance not to cross him.

"listen, i'm going to go upstairs, would you care to join me?" i looked up into jericho's hazel eyes and waggled my eyebrows. he ran a hand through his short brown hair that matched the deep color of his eyes and sighed his response.

i slipped my hand into his and pulled him upstairs with me. i desperately wanted to spend time with lilly and avalon, but both kiran and jericho needed to settle down first. besides a little alone time with jericho sounded too amazing to pass up, especially after my day with kiran.

i led him into the bedroom i occupied during our one night stay here with gabriel months ago. that was the same night i decided i couldn't let kiran die from his horrible disease. the same night i decided to save him.

i shook my head, erasing those memories and sat down on the twin bed pushed against the wall in the small upstairs bedroom. the bed was still made from when i slept in it; nothing had been touched since i was here last.

jericho didn't sit down with me. he closed the door and then leaned against it, focusing intently on something in the middle of the floor. i wanted to ask him what was wrong, but the feeling that i already knew tugged at the back of my neck and so i waited for him to bring it up.

"so, i, uh, i ran surveillance on the summer solstice celebration...." jericho explained quietly after several moments of silence.

"ah," i said simply, letting his words hang there until he could justify to me why that might be a problem.

"i probably won't do that ever again...." he couldn't look at me. i wanted to feel guilty and apologize for my behavior that weekend, but i didn't do anything wrong. i had a part to play to make sure people didn't die and i had to be convincing down to the very smallest detail or lucan would hurt others just to teach me a lesson.

"that might be a good idea," i agreed, knowing i wouldn't change my behavior just because he was watching. "jericho, i can't even pretend to be sorry for that. i am alive for one reason only and that is because lucan is determined that kiran possesses my magic. and because of that lucan has this deranged idea that the kingdom needs to believe we're in love so he doesn't look weak because he spared my life. if i don't pull this off.... if kiran and i don't pull this off, people will die. lucan will murder those prisoners and more. this is definitely not what i wanted, believe me. i went there fully willing to be martyred. if i would have known that this pretense of a fake engagement would be my death sentence, i might have seriously reconsidered!"

"i know all of that, eden. and i know that your death, if it's even possible for you to die, would have been a horrifying alternative, but that doesn't make this whole watching you be in love with your ex-boyfriend thing any easier for me, while i sit on the sidelines not even able to talk to you," jericho argued.

"i can't do this jericho; i can't try to do what's best for the kingdom if i'm worried about making you jealous...." i snapped, more brutally honest than i intended to be.

"then don't go back, stay with me instead. we'll figure it out, we're working on getting the prisoner's out of there, it's only a matter of time...." jericho sat down beside me, pleading a case i knew he didn't even believe in.

"don't," i stopped him. "don't say those things, you know i can't and it's not fair to put that option in front of me. i'm glad to hear you're getting them out of there but until there is no one left and everyone else in this damned kingdom is completely out of lucan's reach then i can't even entertain an idea like that. and it's not nice of you to try to tempt me."

"you're right, i'm sorry," jericho lamented immediately, sighing with frustration.

i met his eyes and then sank into him, letting him hold me closely and wrap his arms around me. we sat there for a while, all of the unsaid things between us hanging heavily in the air. i knew he wanted me to apologize for a convincing performance with kiran and he knew i never would.