that's what i'm hoping! i cheered inwardly. merry christmas! i laughed, and expected avalon to laugh with me. he didn't....

hey ede, since you won't bring it up.... avalon started a little nervously and his anxiety caught my attention fiercely.

yeah? i prompted, nerves churning my stomach. avalon never got nervous.

listen, jericho is my best friend. i love him like a brother. but.... i owe kiran my life. he finished and i could feel the devotion radiating in his blood.

what does that have to do with anything? i demanded, my defenses on high alert.

nothing, ok, i just.... i'm not trying to tell you how to live your life or anything, but i think he deserves your forgiveness.

are you kidding me right now? i demanded, sitting forward in my chair.

calm down, it's just a suggestion. avalon relented, but i could feel how long he waited to tell me that. he had been thinking it for a long time, wanting to say something since before i showed up to save him, which made it even worse. with the expression of his thoughts, the veil dropped and i could see the history of his emotions. avalon wanted me to forgive kiran even before i had my magic back.... even before i rescued him from the castle.... somewhere in the middle of avalon's captivity, he and kiran had become not only friends, but partners that depended on each other.

my stomach churned violently and suddenly i had a headache. i felt betrayed by my own brother, by avalon. i stood up abruptly, closing off the communication between us as he tried to apologize for his words, and felt the accusation in my own thoughts.

i forgot where i was. i forgot about school. my sight came back to reality and i realized i stood up in the middle of class while mr. lambert had been giving out instructions. kiran grabbed my hand as i moved toward the exit and my escape. his magic pulsed against my palm, drawing my attention to him; avalon's words rang out too loudly in my ears.

"anxious to get started on your group project?" he asked, smirking at my confusion. he leaned forward in his desk to whisper, "mr. lambert split us up, girls and guys." he still held my hand, his magic becoming overwhelming around me.

"thank you," i mumbled, glancing over to where amelia and seraphina sat huddled together.

"what did avalon have to say? you look quite shaken up," kiran observed. he stood up so that he could look me in the eyes better, his hand still holding mine gently.

still holding mine.

why hadn't i pulled away yet?

"uh, i wasn't...." i tried to lie.

"oh, come on, i would recognize that look on your face anytime. i know you were talking to avalon," kiran coaxed. "is everything ok?"

"no, i mean, yes," i reclaimed my hand, picking up my school books from my desk. "avalon told me that your father got jericho's parents in his raid. i'm just worried about them, that's all." it was only a half lie....

"oh, eden, i'm so sorry," kiran sympathized genuinely. he put his hand on my shoulder and i flinched from the magnetic spark of his magic against mine. "what can i do to help?"

"nothing," i answered quickly, frantically. "nothing, don't worry about it. i'm sure jericho already has a plan, so.... there's nothing to worry about! i'm going to go join my group." i had never been more excited to get to seraphina in my entire life.

"hey," he stopped me before i walked away, "you're supposed to pick a book with your group from the reading list and then we have to split it up to teach it to the rest of the class."

"thanks," i mumbled and then hurried across the room to sit down next to amelia and seraphina.

"no way! seraphina i don't believe you!" amelia gasped and blushed simultaneously.

i sat down, hardly paying attention to them. i felt unnerved and very upset. this was worse than any fight i had ever been in.... because it was a fight i suddenly felt like i was losing. i shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. this was crazy. i didn't care about kiran. and like avalon reminded me, i needed to forgive him. that was something i hadn't done yet. and i didn't plan on ever forgiving him ever, so i would be safe. i would be fine.

"eden!" amelia pinched my arm to get my attention. i jumped, but focused on her."

"sorry," i blushed, embarrassed by my reaction to something so stupid as avalon suggesting forgiveness.

"i have been trying to ask you a question for the last two minutes!" she laughed at me.

"i'm sorry, i just have a, uh, a lot on my mind...." i explained pathetically.

"like we don't?" seraphina demanded and then flipped her silky blonde hair over her shoulder. "anyway, i hope you don't mind, but we picked the portrait of dorian gray. it's short, and full of symbolism for immortals. mr. lambert will love it."

"is it a love story?" i asked, suddenly terrified of the assignment.

"no, i don't think so!" seraphina laughed. "well, maybe but it's not like the whole point of the story."

"ok, fine, whatever," i relented.

"so get this," amelia jumped back in, determined to ask me her question. her big golden brown eyes implored me to pay attention and her shiny brown hair hung over her shoulder matching their color perfectly. she had grown up over the summer, she wasn't the awkward teenager i first met, and she was becoming a gorgeous young woman. yet she still retained the irresistible charm that naturally drew others to her. "seraphina is trying to tell me that you can tell how a boy feels about you just by how they watch you leave them!" she exclaimed disbelievingly.

"really?" i asked dryly, not believing a word of it. "amelia, don't listen to a word she says!"

"honestly, mimi, do not ask eden's opinion, she has absolutely no idea when a boy has feelings for her. she's totally oblivious!" seraphina rolled her eyes at me and to my horror amelia's expression fell; she was actually on seraphina's side of the argument.

"that's not true!" i shrieked, fully prepared to argue my case to the death.

"whatever," seraphina cut me off, not even giving me the opportunity to defend myself. "it is true. ade, my friend from back home, calls it the 'walk-away-watch.'" she smiled proudly.

"clever," i muttered. now i was in a bad mood, and had no real reason to be, which made me even angrier.

"it's all in their eyes, how they watch you walk away after you're finished talking to them or whatever. there are of course, those guys that just appreciate the view, but every once in a while there's something else there. they don't just watch the good stuff; they kind of watch all of you and look like they're dreaming about a future with you.... it's almost pathetic...." she sounded irritated, but the corners of her lips turned up into an almost smile.

"that's so ridiculous!" i reasoned. "the only thing boys care about when you walk away is.... well, we know what it is, ok?" i censored myself in front of amelia.

"no, you're wrong," seraphina stated full of confidence. "i'll prove it to you!"

i wanted to laugh at her, but she didn't give me the chance. she stood up and walked across the room to where kiran and sebastian sat discussing the reading list. i put my hand over my mouth, trying to control the mirth that threatened to bubble over and amelia's mouth dropped wide open at seraphina's shamelessness.

"what do you think she's going to do?" amelia gasped, concerned for her poor brother.

"i think we can only watch and find out," i admitted, morbidly curious.

seraphina stayed at the boys table for a few minutes laughing at everything sebastian said. he, of course, fell for it. his eyes grew brighter and he looked at seraphina with so much adoration even she started to blush from it. after a sufficient amount of time, she said goodbye to sebastian and turned around to walk back to our table. amelia and my eyes were glued to sebastian as, sure enough, he watched her walk away with a dazed and dreamy look in his eyes. he wasn't even staring at her.... assets, but watched her in general, plotting out how to win her heart. it was actually endearing.

my eyes flickered to kiran for a moment, but he was already watching me. our eyes locked together and i smiled shyly, trying to play off our experiment as nothing. he didn't act like he cared, and smiled back, a secret in his eyes that raised goose bumps on my arms.

"see?" seraphina asked smugly, calling for my attention.

"ok, i give up. you win," i smiled, having fun with the way her eyes bulged at my easy concession.

"and all guys do that?" amelia gasped in disbelief. "not just my brother?" i laughed at the obvious anxiety in her voice. she truly was worried about sebastian falling in love with seraphina.

"all guys," seraphina confirmed. "well, except for kiran." she turned serious. i wanted to argue with her and remind her that he just didn't love her but she continued, "he watches eden all the time."

"that's not true," i argued. i glanced over his way, unable to stop myself and he caught my eye again. this time his smile turned confident after having caught me looking at him twice. i blushed instantly, and then worse when amelia and seraphina burst into laughter after witnessing the same thing.

"seraphina, you might be right about sebastian," i tried to bring reason back to the table. "but you are so wrong about kiran."

that only brought about more giggling. i dropped my head into my arms and lay down on the table. didn't anyone remember we were fighting a war?

i needed to see jericho.

chapter thirty

i decided i was dying. that had to be the only explanation to what was happening to me. it had to be the only explanation for my difficulty breathing and irregular heartbeat. somehow lucan had figured out a way to slowly suffocate me. i didn't know if some secret poison lay hidden in the apartment, letting off vapors of toxic air that would over time incapacitate my lungs and leave me paralyzed on the floor as my last breaths were sucked from my chest and i walked ingloriously into the great beyond. or if the food had been tampered with, slowly breaking down my organs until one day they stopped working all together and i collapsed in a heap of death in the middle of the throne room. but something was stealing the breath from my lungs and i refused to believe it was the boy sitting across the room working on his homework and trying not to look at me.

i stood up from my book and the couch and started to pace the length of the living room. lilly would be here any minute and until i witnessed her arrival with my own two eyes i couldn't settle down.

"are you all right?" kiran asked from across the room. he sat back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest, amusement dancing in his eyes. "i talked to talbott not three hours ago and they were just fine. they should be here any moment."

"i know you say that, but i'm just worried," i clung to the excuse. "what could be taking them so long? weren't they already on the continent?"