as night lowered outside and the world grew chill and black, i was safe and warm within my shelter. i had much to be grateful for, and very little to complain about, i told myself. nevertheless, when i sought my now-softened bed that night, a bleakness of heart settled on me once more.

chapter seventeen

routine duty

i began each day with a patrol of the cemetery, shovel in hand. diligently i repaired animal damage to any grave. i made notes of headboards that would soon need replacing, jotting down information that might otherwise be lost. i maintained the paths and improved them, evening out the ruts and adding drainage. and every day, i dug a fresh grave. i measured them precisely, and dug them deep and straight-edged. i mounded the soil so it would not fall back into my excavations. i did this past the time when the frosts came and froze the ground. i stopped only when the snows began. my diligence was the only reason that when narina geddo died from pleurisy at six years, three months, and five days, an open grave was waiting.

i knew narina geddo's age to the day because i was informed that one of my duties as cemetery guard was to carve the grave markers. i did hers in my cabin one long evening. i put the plank on my table and puzzled out how to engrave the letters and numbers into the wood with the few tools i had. i'd never been a whittler, but i fancy that i did well enough. i threw the chips and shavings into my fire as i worked, and when i was finished, for good measure, i heated the poker and burned black each letter and number in the hopes they would remain legible a bit longer.

the next day i drove to town with a coffin in the back of my cart. clove snorted and steamed as the cart jolted along over the frozen ruts of the road. when i stopped outside the small house that belonged to corporal geddo, his older daughter opened the door, looked out, and gave a wild shriek of fear. "it's a croaker-bird man, come for little narrie! papa, don't let him eat her!"

i heard later that the tale of her words scampered through the town and brought laughter to those untouched by the tragedy. but that day, no one laughed at her words. i bowed my head and held my tongue. i suppose that with my cold-reddened face and flapping black cloak, i did look like one of orandula's carrion birds. the little girl's solemn father came to my cart and wordlessly took the coffin from it. i sat and waited in the biting wind. a time passed, and then he and another man carried it back and loaded it. it weighed very little. i wondered if i'd been thoughtless, bringing such a large box for such a small body. i wondered if a man so gripped by grief could care about such things. clove and i led, and the small funeral procession of men and women on foot and horseback followed.

i had cleared the grave cavity of fallen snow the night before, so there was a trodden path for the mourners to follow. i did not stand with the attendees. instead, i watched from a distance as the family lowered their child into the frozen earth, and gettys' sole priest, a thin, pale plague survivor, said words over her. when they were gone, i went back with my pickax and shovel to break the frozen mound of snowy soil into lumps that thundered down on her coffin as i shoveled them in. it seemed a harsh and cruel sound, and heartless somehow to bury a little girl beneath frozen clods of earth. yet, in a way, i was proud of myself. without my foresight to dig a grave, i was told, her little body would have been stored in the coffin and toolshed until spring softened the earth and she could be decently buried. so they had done in years past.

putting such a young child to rest put me in mind of amzil and her brood. i had not thought of her in weeks, and her carry sack that i had borrowed still hung on my wall. that day i resolved i would make good on my promise to myself, and also attempt again to win an audience with the colonel. i saddled clove in the dim afternoon, and rode to town.

i was less of a spectacle than i had been when i first arrived. i still heard the occasional sniggering remark as i passed, but fewer folks stopped and stared. they'd probably had their fill of doing it. now that i lived among them, i'd lost my novelty. i came to town several times a week to take a meal in the mess hall with the other troopers. i'd found rollo's tavern and claimed my beer and admitted my gettys sweat. people knew me as nevare the cemetery guard, and some i called friend. it did not mean, however, that everyone regarded me kindly or even neutrally. it still unnerved me to find that my size stirred feelings of extreme dislike in people, even when i had given them no other cause to take offense.

my pay as a common soldier was not generous, but i had relatively few wants, and i'd been very stingy with the money that yaril had slipped into my pack, so i still had a small cache of funds. i took my saved money to town and tried to be wise in the gifts i bought for amzil and her children. in the mercantile, i bought red woolen fabric, four loaves of barley sugar shaped like flowers, a box of tea, and a small round cheese. i'd already spent more than i'd intended when i saw the book of nursery tales with hand-colored pictures in it. it would be a foolish gift, i told myself. none of them could read it, and the price was very dear. nonetheless, i found myself giving over the money for it and sliding it into the worn rucksack with the other items. "that's more than i meant to spend," i observed innocuously as i counted out the scrip on the counter.